The next few days are gone in a blur—and I barely remember any of the small battles I fight alongside my brother . I do not know if I did not remember just because I did not want to, or all the alcohol I have been consuming—the tavern closest to us was ordered to stop serving me alcohol after the first two days but I just went in after they closed and stole from them. Technically it was not stealing because I left a generous amount of gold on their bar every night after I left.
I am about to enter my tent when I hear two voices inside.
"Just—talk to her, Az, I cannot get through to her. Mor cannot get through to her. Cassian is wallowing in his own shit but he is not half as bad as Velaris." I hear Rhysand whisper.
"And you think I will be able to get through to her?" Azriel asks, "She hates me right now, Rhys."
"She hates everything right now." My brother points out and I accidentally let out a snort. I hear them go quiet and then my tent flap suddenly opens and Rhysand stares at me—and then looks at the bottle in my hand. He walks over to me and yanks it from my hand—I am too drunk to fight for it back so I slowly make my way to my tent and open another bottle that I had hidden in a vase.
"Velaris." Rhysand says my name as if it were a curse, and he walks in and tries to take this bottle away from me. I put it behind my back and almost fall back at the movement. "This is just foolish now, you could die on the battlefield being this drunk."
"Okay." I respond as I take another swig from the bottle.
"I understand—"
"Do you?" I laugh at him as he tries to give me a lecture again, he has done this dozens of times over the past few days, "Where were you?"
I ask him the same question I have every time I have seen him.
"You know where I was and why I could not—"
"I know where you were, you coward—but that was no excuse to not come and help us." I poke his chest with my finger as hard as I can, he takes a step back at my strength.
"She says this every time to me. I do not even think she knows what she says at this point." Rhysand ignores me and looks to Azriel.
"You are in charge of legions of Illyrian's and you just decided to sit back—"
"I was not sending another legion of my warriors to their death!" Rhysand shouts at me so loudly I have to take a step away from him—because in that moment for just a brief moment, I thought he was our father. Rhysand's eyes quickly turn from anger to regret within a second, and then he just shakes his head before walking out of the tent. I let out a sigh as I remember Rhysand had went through something extremely similar just weeks ago. I run my hands through my hair in frustration as I make my way over to my water bowl and splash water on my face. I notice Azriel observing my tent and he stops when he notices my bed—my made bed. My stomach rolls over when I realize Azriel knows how I hate making my bed and have not done so since I was a child—he slowly looks to me.
"When was the last the last time you slept?" He asks me as I wipe the blood and dirt off of my face.
"Last night." I lie without looking at him.
"Velaris—"
"Don't, Az." I say to him, "Please do not lecture me like my brother. Go be with Cass, I will be fine."
"No." He says to me and I look up at him, "I am not leaving you."
"Why?"
"Because I am not going to sit back and watch you drown yourself." Azriel walks over and takes the bottle I had sitting next to the water bowl.
"I can take care of myself." I stand up straight and still have to tilt my head back to look at his face.
"I know that, Velaris, but that does not mean you have to go through this alone." He says softly, and I could practically feel his breath on my face—that is how close we stood to each other. We look into each other's eyes for a long moment before I speak.
"I am not alone--I have alcohol." I give him a smile as I grab the bottle from his hands and take another swig of it. He quickly unsheathes Truth-Teller from his side and quickly slices off the bottom of my bottle, so the rest of the alcohol falls to the floor. I stare at the alcohol seeping into the mud below us with my mouth wide open in shock. "That is not why I made that dagger for you. I want it back."
"No. It is mine." He raises his eyebrows at me and I let out a laugh at how childish he sounds, I see a small smile form on Az's face and mine fades when I realize what he was trying to do—and succeeded at doing.
It was the first time I have laughed—or smiled—since the slaughter of the Valkyrie.
"You are acting like I will not just go and get another bottle as soon as you leave." I cross my arms, and he crosses his.
"Who says I am leaving?"
"You have to leave at some point." I point out.
"Do I?"
"Yes." I narrow my eyes at him and think of something to say that will make him want to leave, "I am sure you will not be so persistent to stay when I have company over tonight."
"Maybe I'll join." Azriel says without hesitating and I let out another surprised laugh as I look at him and find him smiling at me.
"I am not a fool--I see what you are trying to do and it will not work." I say to him as I go to walk out of the tent but he steps in front of me—blocking me from leaving. "I will not hesitate to kick your ass if you do not get out of my way."
"I can positively say you will not be able to kick anyone's ass in this state." He looks down at me and before he can react I go to punch him in the part of his stomach that would knock the wind from him, but he must have known what I was going to do because sidesteps my punch, grabs my arm, and flips me onto the ground. I let out a cough as the wind is knocked from me, I slowly open my eyes to find Azriel smiling down at me. I quickly kick my legs under his and he falls back into the mud next to me. I let out a roaring laugh as he swears, and I lay there for a moment watching him sit up and wipe the mud from him before I realize I can just winnow away. I make a face when I fail to do so and realize there was a spell cast upon my tent, I push myself off the ground and begin to run out of the tent, but Azriel grabs my leg and I fall face first into the mud. I flip myself around to fight him away but he gets on top of me and holds my shoulders down. He gives me a look that says I told you that you would not be able to beat me.
"I like being on top more." I say and his eyes widen in surprise as he releases his grip on me just enough that I manage to get one of my legs to the other side of him and flip him over so he is under me now. I raise an eyebrow at him and smirk, "I told you."
I take a handful of mud and fling it into his face as I jump off of him and run out of my tent to get to the nearest tavern. Azriel uses his shadows to transport in front of me, I let out a noise of surprise as he shoves me into the pond that was next to us. It takes me a moment to realize I am underwater and I begin to swim back up to the surface in the freezing cold water. I spit out the nasty pond water that I managed to swallow, and open my eyes to find Rhysand and Azriel standing there looking at me.
"Do you think she is sober yet?" Rhys leans in and asks Az.
"She should be, but she is going to need a bath after swimming in that pond." Azriel smiles to Rhys.
"Ah yes, that is the infamous pond where the Illyrian warriors like to take a piss when they do not feel like going to the bathrooms." Rhysand laughs and I have never moved so quickly in my life. As I get out of the pond, I use my power to push the water. I let out a laugh when Rhys and Az both get soaked in the pond water. It takes me a moment to blink and realize any fogginess I had from the alcohol has left my body—either from the adrenaline or the piss water I do not know.
"Go get a bath, sister. Another legion of Hybern's soldiers have made it over the mountain pass, we have to get ready for another battle." Rhysand says to me and goes to walk away but turns around, "And do not get drunk again before this one."
"I will not make such promises." I say to him and he gives me a smile before walking over to hug me. I make a noise of disgust and try to push him away but he just squeezes me even more.
"I love you." He says to me, and I make a gagging noise. "Promise me you will not drown your sorrows with alcohol before battle anymore."
"I cannot do that." I say into his shoulder.
"I will not let you go until you promise." He says, and I let out a sigh.
"Fine. I promise I will not get drunk before battle anymore." I say and I feel a tingling sensation on my hand and watch as swirls of black ink begin to form on my wrist—and I look to Rhysand's hand and see its twin.
"Good, because now you really cannot." He smirks at me before walking away and realize he just tricked me into making a deal. I turn to look at Az.
"I will see you on the battlefield." Az says to me.
"What happened to not leaving me?" I ask, and he raises his eyebrows at me, "You don't want to join me for a bath?"
"You are starting to sound like Cassian." Azriel says with a laugh and he turns to walk away—thinking I was joking at the invitation. I was certainly not joking. I let out a sigh of defeat as I find hot water already waiting for me in my tent.