georgia ku - lighthouse
clean bandit - symphony (feat. zara larsson)
hozier - jackie and wilson (live perfomance)
As soon as these seven words have slipped off my mouth, the whole world stops. In this moment of deep confession, my fear is mixed with the words that escaped from his mouth. The process of overthinking rushes through my mind assuming different things, but part of me, and the most rational and narcissistic one believes that his words mean the same as mine. The tension inside the room becomes unbearable. Louis's body seems to be filled with concrete because every muscle tenses under my touch.
No one hasn't said a word yet and I'm scared to raise my head off his lap to face him. His hand which has been running through my hair stops as well as my breath. Both of us haven't expected these words to leave my mouth, and this scares me the most. The peaceful atmosphere has affected my mind, which leads to the moment of my greatest confession. Being the coward I am, I'm scared to be the one who breaks the silence.
All this time, since I have realized that I'm in love with this man, I have been overthinking if is it right to feel such a strong connection with him after barely a few weeks being together and after a couple of months knowing each other. In my mind are replaying Louis's words about us not being a usual couple, more rebellious one, which breaks the rules of relationship setting new ones, which are comfortable only for both of us.
My personal meaning of "love" has been distorted and uglified, and in comparison with what I feel now can't be named as "love", more like blind devotion and obsession. But Louis unconsciously has made everything to change it to the roots. The jokes we make, the sweet gestures we share, the comfort we look for in each other, the bubble that creates every time we're together.
The room has gone silent for a minute or five, I've absolutely lost the count, even voices of Harry Potter characters seem to fade. I sit up on the bed crossing my legs, but I'm still afraid of looking into his eyes. Being a nervous wreck I am, I can't stop fidgeting my fingers and my thoughts jump from one to another. My head is spinning and it seems that the air in the room is rarefied as at the highest peak in the world, and the overwhelming feeling pushing me out of the room, but I jump slightly when Louis's hand lands on mine. His hand cups my cheek making me look at him. Slowly and hesitantly I tear my gaze from my hands and lift my head to look at Louis.
I lift my head, my eyes are closed. I'm afraid, however, I'm not sure what I'm scared about. Rejection? Telling the truth? Consequences? Future?
"Vivian, baby," his thumb rubs my cheek when I'm fighting with tears. "Open your eyes, please." I shake my head in disagreement. "Please, Vi. Please," Louis connects his forehead with mine and his breath is dancing on my lips.
When I finally lift my eyelids, the gaze of electric blue eyes is welcoming me. Neither of us talks for a solid minute trying to fish out the emotions in the depth of our eyes. My mixed feelings are harder to read than his clearly visible tenderness, fondness, and amorousness.
It's funny how I distinguish these emotions in him with a lack of my personal experience, but being observant these all years, watching the development of Connor and Alice's relationship has taught me more than I imagined.
"What a plot twist you are, Vi," Louis cups my cheeks with his hands. "Why do you always have more courage? Why did you have more courage than I to say these words first?"
"What, what do you mean?" I stutter.
"You have more courage, but not logic," Louis chuckles, and his gaze falls to my lips and returns to my confused eyes. "I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you, but being the brave little bird you are, you took away a chance of mine to tell you this first. I persuaded that it was evident from miles away." The whisper leaves his mouth with such ease like he's been rehearsing it all his life on a daily basis.
"Are you sure that you're in love with me? That it's not just fondness? That it's an L-word?" I murmur putting my hands on his.
"Do you want to make me doubt my own words? If you do, so fuck you, because I am for good and all in love with you. And nothing can change this," he can whisper these words, but they're loud enough to be a promise.
"You can't. I'm not the right person for you to love. I'm a nervous wreck with an unstable way of thinking, there is no reason for you to love me," I shake my head, but he pecks my lips when I start to blabber. Love is a huge commitment, and the latest thing I want is for him to mindlessly jump into emotions and when the realization comes to feel the regret.
"Fishing out for compliments, I see? I'll tell you every little thing I love about you, just you to stop doubting yourself and finally see the amazing personality under your skin. Because I'm in love with the sound of your laugh when there's nothing holding you back. I'm in love with the sound of your heartbeat when you peacefully fall asleep in my arms. I'm in love with your altruism and how you forget about your problems just to help others. I love how you look in my clothes. I love how you sing in the car like no one is listening and how you dance in the kitchen like no one is watching. I love-" Louis tells in one breath making the combustible mix of emotions erupt inside me without any warning.
Louis's speech sends a blush to my cheeks and it amuses him, but I rudely interrupt him with a kiss. As cheesy as it can sound, but I'll not be able to put into words what things he does to me and why I love him. He received permanent citizenship in my heart without the possibility of leaving the territory. The feeling that arises inside me every time he appears on the horizon can't be compared to anything I have felt before. The misery I felt being in a relationship with Noah is the furthest thing of "love".
My lips touch his in such a rush like I'm drowning and he's the lifebuoy given me in the very last moment. My sudden change of mood takes him out of the guard, because Louis tenses under my touch, but a second after he responds to my kiss.
The inimitableness of his kisses is constant, but emotions are reaching their peak like we've been kissing for the first time. I have never believed in the sudden change of physical behaviour after people have just confessed feelings to their significant ones when it's mutual, how touch or kiss can feel different. But right now my lips are writing on his the words I'm not able to utter out loud.
The sweetness of his lips feels like divine ambrosia, and by the simple kiss, we melt in each other, like we have no tomorrow, as our lives depend on it. I have said it millions of times already, but every touch of his lips can't be compared to the previous one. It's the deadliest curse and the most powerful cure.
I'm in desperate need of oxygen, and he is the one.
Louis's hands are buried in my hair making a groan escape from my lips. The tenderness is combined with passion in a dreadful mix, and thoughts that are running across my mind will definitely send me to hell. His lips are glued to mine like a solved jigsaw puzzle, and my arms are wrapped around his neck not allowing him to withdraw.
We have just hit the point of no return. The way his lips move against mine is the way he's killing insecure Vivian who is scared of heartbreak, who is afraid of losing herself again. Right now, I'm terrified of losing Louis.
He leaves open-mouthed kisses all the way down my jaw to the crook of my neck savoring the sweet spot under my ear. The tenderness of his petal-like lips makes the breathless moan escape from my mouth. His body tenses when my fingers trace the muscles of his torso and all the way down to the waistband of his shorts, while his hands find their way to the small of my back forcing me to move on his lap.
I bend my legs in knees putting them on the other sides of his body and sit on his lap. My hands are buried in his feather-like hair making him lift his head slightly and lay my mouth on his. I part my lips and he doesn't miss a chance to bite my lower lip sending the goosebumps all over my body. We're breathing heavily as oxygen has disappeared from our lungs. But right after every attempt to move away for a couple of inches, simply to inhale, Louis just moves me closer to him kissing me harder and all side thoughts are thrown out the window.
I'm sitting on his lap and it doesn't seem enough for him. Louis's arm is wrapped around my waist and moves me closer to him till the space between us disappears and he can effortlessly feel how my heart is hammering against the ribcage. The effect he has on me every time he's near. His moves are skillful and the way his tongue is tangled with mine makes my toes curl.
His hands are roaming on their own from the small of my back to the hem of my shirt baring the soft skin of my stomach and tracing the outlines of my bra. I raise my arms hinting at him to move my t-shirt away, but the movements of his hands stop under the hem of my shirt confusing me.
"What's wrong?" I furrow my brows.
"Are you sure?" He murmurs.
The way Louis always asks for reassurance before going further amuses me, however, there's no reason for asking for this.
"Hello, Mr. Cockblocker, and goodbye. Is it one of your jokes or did you decide to torture me?" I move away from his lap standing up on the cold floor, but he reaches out for me and pulls into the bear hug. The squeal leaves my mouth when my body collides with Louis and he lands on the soft material of pillows.
"I just asked. I don't want to push you into something that you don't desire right now," he says and the smirk adorns his face.
With every word warmth blossoms in my heart, his solicitude is the justification of it. In a matter of weeks, Louis enveloped me in care and tenderness, and I don't want to leave this warm blanket.
"And I just answered. Do I look like a person who doesn't desire you right now? We're in a relationship and we have just exchanged the "I love you's." I nuzzle my nose against his. "You don't have to ask about it every damn time. I'm willingly making out with you and it feels so damn right to push things further. Everything we do feels right."
"Besides, when you're looking like the model from the cover of the fashion magazine," I point at his shirtless chest, "or like Photoshop and tattoo parlor made a child, I feel like I'm seducing you," I mumble and receive his laughter in the response.
The mood inside the room shifts drastically, from lust and desire to tenderness, but it doesn't change the feeling igniting inside us. He intertwines his hand with mine bringing them closer to our faces and leaves soft kisses on my knuckles. My body is placed on his, but it doesn't seem to bother Louis, because his other hand is wrapped around my waist tight.
I lay my hands on his chest and put my chin on them, looking at the depth of Louis's eyes. My gaze falls to his lips and it's hard to believe that those three words have left his mouth. It still feels like my mind is playing tricks with me because it's hard to comprehend why has Louis appeared in my life after everything I have done.
"You're overrating me, and I'm the one who feels like I'm seducing you because your cheeks cover with blush every time I'm making my stupid jokes about sex," he grins and I don't want even to argue with him, because it's the most truthful thing have ever told about me. Even now, I bury my face in his chest and groan desperately. "However, I'm still wondering about the reasons behind that, considering the things we did."
"Maybe I'm not so open-minded as people think. Maybe under this guise, a conservative puritan woman is hiding in my soul," I shrug my shoulders.
"You're the furthest thing of being a puritan woman," the corner of his lips lifts in a sly smirk. With all my human being I swear, I know what's on his mind. His cheeky and boyish comments are the absolute confirmation.
"Lou!" I exclaim shoving his shoulder, but he catches my hand and in one swift move flips me on my back. He hovers above me putting his hands on the other sides of my head.
The sudden change of position catches me out of guard and I look at the place where my laptop should be. The film comes to end, but none of us cares. Honestly, I expect my laptop to be on the bedroom floor shattered, but it's a wonder that it is still on the bed. Louis follows my gaze and shuts it down putting it on the bedside table.
"Movie night is over. There are other things we need to do," he murmurs lowering himself closer to me.
"For example?" The whisper escapes from my mouth when my gaze migrates between his eyes and lips. Louis stops in inches from my lips being interrupted by a loud moan. Confused, I furrow my brows looking at Louis.
"Did you learn to transfer your inner moans to the other's mind? Or did you hear it too?" Louis chuckles. When you're in one house with two more couples it's expected. Guys probably have told me what room each of them takes, but this information slipped out of my mind marked as unnecessary.
"Asshole," I try to escape from his cage, but he just flips us one more time pulling me into the embrace. This bed should be endless because I have expected my ass to meet the floor.
"You say it so often that I should start to worry about you forgetting my name."
"Or maybe your jokes aren't funny anymore," I shrug my shoulders and my words are followed with other moans coming from outside the room.
It seemed to me that the soundproofing has filled the walls, but those sounds prove wrong. Part of me is even happy that we haven't gone further, because it'd be embarrassing during the breakfast. I'm positive that Louis's waterfall of inappropriate jokes won't stop tomorrow, and, honestly, I pity his victims. God helps, we can't hear the names, because whoever it is, they just have signed the death warrant of being buried under Louis's endless sarcasm.
Neither of us says a word for a minute, our silence mixed with muffled moaning coming from the next door. I look in Louis's eyes where certainly the joy and fun have settled. Lifting the corners of his lips, he is fighting with the urge of bursting into laugher.
"Anyways-" Louis speaks again but is rudely interrupted by the loud door slamming. The force with which the door is closed leaves me wondering if it's remained in the door frame. Our neighbour is clearly irritated with all the noise.
"Jesus Christ, it's the last time I went somewhere with you!" Niall's desperate groan comes behind the door. "Louis, if it's you, filthy animal, I won't talk to you anymore."
I raise my brows at Louis and erupt with a burst of laughter burying my head in the crook of his neck. A second after his laughter is tickling my skin. The sounds don't seem to stop and Niall's whining as well, but a couple of minutes later Harry comes to support Niall's complaints. So, now we have an unscheduled meeting of neighbours behind our doors.
Freeing from Louis's embrace I leave a lingering kiss on his lips and stand up to go to the door. I feel slightly uncomfortable with guys complaining about us for being the source of noise, which we clearly aren't.
"What are you doing?" Louis unwillingly loosens the grab on my hand letting me go.
"Want to talk to them. Why do they think of us making the clutter?" I ask soothing the wrinkles on my shirt.
"I have no idea, but don't," putting the hands behind his head, he sits against the headboard.
"I'm perfectly aware that you want to irritate your friends, but I don't. It can be other Tomlinson anyway. So all the complaints can be directed to your sister."
"Don't even talk about it. Lyds and I, we don't hide anything from each other, but there's no way we'll talk about sex life," he groans.
"Is it blush on your cheeks?" I chuckle being completely amused by his behaviour. "Oh my God, does Louis Tomlinson really blush with a mention of the word "sex"?" I mock his previous words. At least he receives the smallest amount of payback right now.
"Shut up," he takes the nearest pillow and throws it at me. But, unfortunately for him, it lands at my feet. I glance down at it and back at him raising my brow. "Just go," Louis snorts rolling his eyes.
Harry's and Niall's muffled voices can be heard, but it's hard to distinguish what are they talking about. I step closer to the door and turn the door handle. Two bodies almost fall on me when in a swift move I open the door, but they quickly fix their posture.
"Did you eavesdrop?" I cross my arms on the chest.
"No!"
"Yes," they say at the same time. Niall scratches the back of his neck guiltily.
Obviously, they spend a lot of time together, because their behaviour can be described as the demeanor of teenage brothers. It can be hard to tell that they're more than 25 years old. But considering their grudge at our threshold their mental age varies from 5 to 60 years old.
"Whatever," I sigh, "how's your night?"
"Not as great as it can be, thanks to both of you," Niall rolls his eyes. The guys did a good job irritating him.
"Niall!" Harry pinches the bridge of his nose shaking his head. "Sorry, Vivian-"
"No, it's fine," I cut him off. "Besides, I'll see what would you say next time when both of you come here with your boyfriends or girlfriends. Or whoever you want. Do you want to come in?" I open the door wider.
"It sounds like an invitation for a groupie," Louis's voice comes from behind.
"Pray not to be suffocated at night," I clench my jaw and roll my eyes. "We were watching a film, but it almost ended, if you want, we can find something else to watch together."
I don't know what time is it, most definitely past midnight, but I don't feel like sleeping at all. Even though, about two hours ago I've dreamt about the soft and fluffy surface of the pillow under my head.
"Finally you've found someone who can handle your sarcasm and unendurable personality," Niall says receiving Louis's middle finger in response. "I wonder what were you watching?" He points at my hair which looks like a bird's nest after Louis's fingers being tangled in it.
"Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince," I utter trying to fix a mess called hair once.
"Films what has a higher rate than your age," Louis says at the same time as I do. I sigh and glare at him, but only the smug smirk is plastered across his face. How could I confess my feelings to this person? Did really I?
"I'll throw you out the window ones after the comments like that."
"Only after you'll finish blushing when I say the word "sex" again, darling," Louis smirks and I feel how blood rushes to my cheeks. Honestly, it's out of my control.
"Do you really blush? I thought you stopped after school," Harry widens his eyes.
"Oh God, I'll sleep on the couch tonight," the groan escapes out of my mouth and instantly mixes with the loud moan behind the wall. "It's not me, I swear," I say when I see the smirks on guys' faces. "I hate you. All of you!" I shout for everyone to hear, even for our screamers.
"It's like I went to a frat house again," Harry chuckles making me furrow my brows.
"But they don't exist in Britain. Doesn't they?" I turn to face him.
" Yes, they don't, but exchange programs haven't been canceled." He shrugs his shoulders.
"Not this story again," Niall and Louis whine throwing pillows at him.
I feel a little bit jealous when somebody is mentioning their wild university days because it's something I have never experienced, but it was my decision to refuse and I have no right to complain. I made a career I'm proud of, even though it's a miracle comparing to others who are trying to work in journalism and presenting.
"What story?"
"How his ass was lucky enough to study a year in NYU and spend time in the frat house. Wild parties and all that movie shit," Louis mocks, however, I'm interested, because student life in States and UK differentiates.
"I've listened to the story of how Zayn threw up on Niall when you were in the university, so allow Vivian's collection of awkward stories to expand," I tilt my head to the side looking into his eyes.
"Vivian's collection of awkward stories?" Taking a seat on the armchair, Niall asks.
"People tell me their awkward stories with a highlight "don't tell anyone". I don't mind and I keep my lips sealed, but when they mock me or irritate the hell out of me, these stories can incidentally slip out of my mouth. Anything you say can and will be used against you and all that."
"Miranda rights?" Harry questions raising his brows.
"I guess," I shrug my shoulders, "so will we have a movie night or no? Or you want to go to sleep?"
"No, maybe it's better to move to the living room? I don't want to freeze my ass out on the floor," Niall proposes, and I glance around the room noticing that actually there's no place where to place the laptop comfortable enough for everyone to see.
"Okay, so you can go and choose the film, and I'll try to find some snacks in the kitchen," I utter and walk out the room making my way downstairs. The moans eventually have stopped, and I hope for the rest of the night as well.
In the pockets of my house wear I have found a hair tie, and quickly make something similar to a bun on my head when I'm walking down the stairs. The guys are following me making the floor creak. When I enter the kitchen, I'm amazed at how polished the surfaces are, boys clearly made a good job. I hardly believe in stereotypes, but knowing what a pig Connor can be doesn't leave much to the imagination.
I step closer to the cupboards where some snacks can be if thinking logically. Roaming around the kitchen for a few minutes, luck happens to be on my side and I have found some chips and popcorn. On the highest shelf. Forget what I have said about my luck, she's a bitch.
I try to reach it on the tiptoes but without any success. Having no willingness to bring the chair from the dining room, I climb on the kitchen counter what I do in my most attractively elegant way. I'd probably say it if I was a model, but I'm an average height woman who can't reach the highest shelf, so there's no grace at all. Koala or panda, here it is.
"Here you are," I murmur taking the bag of popcorn into my hands. I'm standing on my knees on the kitchen counter what is not the most stable position, so when I put another bag of popcorn from the cupboard on the counter, unintentionally I tilt backward losing stability and falling on the floor. But pair of hands prevents me from touching the surface of cold tiles.
"Jesus fucking Christ, thank God," I sigh with relief and turn my head to see who just have saved my ass. Harry's brown locks come to sight as well as a gaze of green irises full of curiosity.
"Spider-Man, you have failed your mission," he chuckles.
"Oh, fuck off," I mock climbing off the counter. "I got us some food, so please be grateful," I say how without any word he raises his tiptoes and reaches out for a pack of chips that remained on the shelf.
"I got us some too," Harry hands me the pack of biscuits. There were biscuits?
His gaze follows me around the kitchen as I gather all the bowls needed as well as cans of fizzy drink and beer. I'm emptying the bag filling the glass bowl with chips and Harry does the same with another.
The bittersweet feeling engulfs my soul. I still consider Harry as my best friend, but I can't forgive myself for giving our friendship up. We could keep in touch all this time, maybe not as close as best friends, but still, I jeopardized everything we had for having a relationship with Noah. My happiness and joy cannot be described right now, but at the same time guilt envelops me for vanishing our friendship for almost five years.
"So, radio?" Harry asks mixing different kinds of popcorn in one bowl.
"So, NYU?" Answering a question for questions isn't extremely polite, but that's what I was thinking to ask him since we went out of the room.
"It was for a year only, but I enjoyed more being here, in London. Everything is an experience, one way or another."
"If I was younger, I'd probably die to go somewhere and study." I sigh. "How was it? What's your major?"
"If you're expecting me to tell you about wild student life, you're wrong," he speaks, and I tilt my head to the side because I don't believe him. "Okay, okay there were few wild nights, but I tried my best to get a degree, so distractions weren't needed," he raises his hands in surrender.
"So no interesting stories, no occasional hook-ups, no threesomes, no deadly bad hungovers, no being blackout drunk, no fights, no crazy "Truth or Dare" games, no cheek being slapped by your one-night stand, who thought that your sex could be a beginning of the relationship-" I count everything that comes to my mind while I'm looking into his eyes fishing out for truth.
"Stop, stop!" He groans interrupting me. "Everything," Harry says, and I raise my brows for him to elaborate. "Everything. Everything you said had happened."
"And you said no wild life," I playfully shove his shoulder. "It's just the first things that come to my mind. I should try harder, maybe something better could cross my mind."
"So, occasional hookups, threesomes, and hungovers are what are you thinking about?" The smirk adorns Harry's face. "The sweet girl I met now is replaced by the naughty and frustrated teenager."
"Hey, I just run through the main cliches in American movies about colleges, and you can find faults in an angel if you look hard enough," I shrug receiving a chuckle from Harry.
"Come on, angel, we have a movie to watch," Harry chuckles handing me popcorn and taking the rest in his hands. I wonder how he manages to take all of that to the living room without a shattered bottle of beer and strewn food and at the same time have an arm wrapped around my shoulders.
When we enter the living room, the boys put the film into the play. I haven't noticed the title yet, so all I need is to pray this film to be good. Harry hands Louis and Niall their bottles of beer and takes a sit on the couch near Niall. I place the bowl on the coffee table in front of us and sit down on the other couch on which Louis is stretching his body.
"What are we watching?" I ask when Louis pulls me into a hug, but somehow we appear to lay on the couch, his body underneath mine. But when the robot voice fills the living room, I furrow my brows. "Transformers? Seriously? Like why?"
"Do you have anything against it?" Louis questions, "We couldn't decide between the first film and the latest one, guys have watched all of them except the new one, but I assumed that you haven't watched it, so it's the first part and you will understand what's going on," he blabbers trying to explain the situation what makes me chuckle. "We just felt like it, if you want we can watch something else."
"I have seen it, but it was a long time ago," I confess, "and wait you haven't seen the latest part? Like really?" I glance around the room seeing how all of the boys nod. "You can't be serious," I growl, "it was out like a few years ago, and you, all of you haven't seen it?"
"Let's say that we didn't have much time for watching films," Harry says and I raise my brows for him to elaborate, "oh God, that's not what are you thinking about," he groans rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"You don't know what I'm thinking about," I shrug my shoulders, well, as much as I can being in Louis's hug, "everyone has a job, so it's fine missing some premieres, because of that. People tend to forget because they have a routine, which sometimes can baffle, and basically there can be no time for film and cinemas."
As soon as I say, I see how blush appears on Harry's cheeks, and it's hard for me not to say our loud, "Mr. Styles, you have just proven that you're the one who thinks about inappropriate things."
"Oh, shut up," he says throwing a cushion at me. It'd probably landed at my face, but I turn away and the fluffy material hits Louis's face. So, that's the reason why Louis sends him a glare and tightens the grab on my waist.
"God, can we just watch the damn film?" Niall snaps taking a sip of his beer. "Like a fucking teenagers."
"Coming from a monk himself." Louis mocks throwing the previously mentioned cushion at him and almost knocking the bottle of beer out of his hands.
"I can't believe that all of you are around 25," I roll my eyes, "judging by this situation I'll give you a maximum of five or six years old."
Since all of us have watched this part, we can't hold our comments, and almost every minute of the film is discussed in detail. We speak about our favourite characters and there comes a huge argument because Harry's and Niall's favourite is Optimus Prime, Louis's is Jazz, but since he dies in the first part, later on, his favourite becomes Bumblebee, as well as mine. Since my main arguments are based on the latest part I'm buried under the layers of cushions thrown at me, because of the spoilers.
Then, the boys start to discuss how good-looking Megan Fox is. Comparing to our previous discussion, Louis gives mostly short and monosyllabic answers, and he seems so tense. Does he not talk much about it because I'm here? I want him to feel comfortable around me, I can be a girlfriend and a friend to him at the same time.
"You can say what you want," I whisper near his ear for only him to hear.
"What are you talking about? I don't want to say something," his answer doesn't sound believable.
I have no problem with him telling me if someone looks good, because it's not about feeling attracted to someone, it's about sharing thoughts, about trust. Many people can think that it's some kind of praise, and maybe it is, but if a person looks good, puts effort into looking the best he or she can, I don't see a problem in saying it.
"Comparing to her other roles, she looks cute here. Effortlessly good," I shrug my shoulders taking a sip of my beer. I notice how boys raise their brows at me, and I roll my eyes. "What? There's no need to have feelings for a person when you want to compliment he or she, as you have just done. The same comes to people in relationships. People put efforts in looking good, they do it for themselves, but it feels nice when other people notice it too."
"I get your point, little bird," Louis chuckles murmuring these words near my ear. Harry and Niall just nod turning their gaze to the screen.
I don't have the strength to watch the film to the end, but I don't want to go upstairs just yet, so I try to find a comfortable position nuzzling into Louis's chest.
He notices my moves and asks, "hey, sleepyhead, we can go to bed-"
"There's no need, if it's comfortable to you, we can stay here to the end," I interrupt him. He doesn't say anything, only tightens his hold on my waist and leaves a kiss on the top of my head.
Slowly, but steadily I drift to sleep. The hushed boys' voices mixed with sounds of the film with every second dissolve in my mind, Louis's heartbeat remains in my ears as the lullaby.
⤫⤫⤫
The soft rays of the morning summer sun are tickling my eyelids, and this disturbance makes me unwillingly open my eyes. It's hard to indicate where am I, the sunlight is burning on the surface of my eyes, so after a couple of blinks, my sight adjusts to it. All of us are still in the living room. The soft snores are escaping from Niall's mouth, as my gaze travels to Harry who is almost fell off the couch burying his head in the cushion.
The familiar scent of cologne and cigarettes envelops my senses when I lift my head a little. Louis's steady breath is brushing the crook of my neck, and his hand is tangled between my locks. Even though couches are wide enough, I'm still wondering how both of us fitted there and no one has fallen.
I try to stand up without waking Louis up. It seems pretty early, and I want them to have some more decent hours of sleep. Louis tosses and turns a bit because of my actions, and when he tries to pull me closer into the hug I replace myself with a cushion. On my tiptoes I walk out the room, sending the last glance at deep asleep boys through my shoulders, and go upstairs.
The creaking sounds of the staircase reverberate from the walls of the house on the highest volume, because of the deathly silence. My steps are extremely slow, but it doesn't help. When I, finally, enter the bedroom we were supposed to spend the night in, I close the door behind myself and breathe out loudly. Fingers crossed for not waking somebody.
Ten minutes in a shower goes like, the hot water cascades down my curves soothing my sore muscles which seem not to be satisfied by our sleepover on the couch. I spend some time brushing my teeth, because, God, morning breath mixed with the aftertaste of beer we drank yesterday isn't the best flavour.
When I walk out of the bathroom wrapped in the towel like a giant burrito, an absolutely captivating view comes to my sight. The sunlight is flickering on the calm waves of the lake alluring to step in its waters. The row of sun loungers is hidden in the trees' shade and beach umbrellas as well. Without any hesitation, I step closer to the wardrobe trying to find something suitable to be swimwear, since I don't remember taking one. But my search ends up with a victory, because my fairy godmother in a posture of Aurora, most likely, slipped a swimsuit in my bag.
The simple black bikini, which a couple of years ago appeared to leave Victoria's Secret store with me, still suits me perfectly. The triangle top accentuates my breasts drawing some attention to it. I put my hair into a messy bun and glance one more time at the sun loungers. An idea appears in my mind like a light bulb, so my laptop is accompanying me outside along with my phone. I'm quite surprised to see that it's seven in the morning. For the person who slept for three or four hours, I feel well-rested and energized.
I manage to walk downstairs without waking everyone being proud of it. When I open the door to the backyard, I'm instantly wrapped in the warm breeze coming from the lake. I make my way to the sun loungers barefoot, the grass tickles against my legs what makes the soft giggle escape from my mouth. Warmed up my August sun, the wooden surface of the sun lounger is welcoming me in the shade of a tree.
The words are escaping from my fingers when I start to write. When I'm trying to escape primitive plot turns and characters cliches, the time seems to slow down, however, for others, it remains the same. Fresh air soaked by the pine scent of the nearest forest penetrates into my mind helping me to come up with ideas. Two chapters fill the blank space of the file I'm hiding between numbers of folders on my laptop by the time the sounds coming from the house brush my ears.
The squeal escapes from my mouth when suddenly I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders. I raise my head to see who is it and relief runs all over me when I see Louis.
"Can you understand my indignation when I didn't find you between my arms when I had woken up today?" He says and bends down to steal a kiss. "Good morning." He murmurs into my lips.
"Morning. When did you wake up?" I peck his lips one more time, and then he lands on the sun lounger next to me previously taking it closer to mine.
I can't tear my gaze from him. The water drops on his skin are glistening against the sun rays. He probably took shower not so long ago. His shirtless body gives me an opportunity to see the art pieces on his upper body that mesmerize me every time. A navy blue swim trunks are sitting low on him revealing the teasing V-line.
"There's no need to stare at me every time. You have plenty of time doing it," smirk adorns his lips, "half an hour or so, mostly looking for you. You scared a shit out of me, baby."
"I haven't gone anywhere," I lean closer to kiss him.
"You better don't," he chuckles grazing his lips against mine.
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author's note:
Hi, sunshines! Hope you're doing fine. It's been a long when I posted the previous chapter, but I really hope you like this one. The chapters are getting longer, but unfortunately, it takes longer to write. This chapter is a light one because the next one will be the one where things are getting warmed up. So, all you need is to wait.
#11YearsofOneDirection
I feel happy to update on such a beautiful day. When I entered the fandom about five years ago, I didn't expect it to be such a journey. I didn't expect these five guys to have such an influence on my life and help me to get through the darkest of times. I know that I'm not the only one who says things like that, and it's true. There are so many things I want to tell about how they changed my life and mindset, but such beautiful words don't exist. I'm happy for them to have amazing solo careers, even if they need to receive the recognition they deserve as singers and songwriters. They helped me to meet amazing people all around the globe, and this story is proof of it. I'm grateful for you reading this story, all your comments and votes give an enormous amount of support which helps me not to give up. I hope for them to come back together, but if they don't, it's for the best, because it means that they are feeling better that way. ❤️
Read, enjoy and vote. Don't forget to leave your comments, if you liked this chapter. I would be really grateful if you spread the word about this story. ❤️
If you have any questions, feel free to ask them in the comments (I more likely see them here, since my message box doesn't work well sometimes).
As usual, I leave a link to the Spotify playlist "Elixir". 👉🏻
Love you all. x
Ana