The estate has been filled with childish laughter all afternoon making it clear that my Father has not yet returned home. It is not quite the fact that laughter isn't allowed when he is home, it is that the atmosphere is more harsh and laughter isn't as common.
The relaxation of the day brings me to a realization that my worries are not as specific as I had once hoped. My mind starts wondering astray from my one goal of figuring out how to tell father of Anthony's proposition. Soon I come to realize that I also have to worry about the news hitting Lady Whistledown's Society Papers. I am positive Anthony's and my closeness will be written in the lines, it's only natural to have eyes on the Season's diamond. Because of this the only question that remains is how I will hide the paper itself from father and more importantly the gossip.
Trying to remain calm despite my worries I have decided to try to combat my problems one by one. Regarding the question as to how I will tell father of Anthony's proposition, I have decided to simply state that I have news relating to some of my potential suitors and more information will come at the next ball. This will do well to push this worry onto the back burner making it hold more pressure on Anthony than myself, just as it should be.
Now regarding the Society Papers, well I am not sure. Knowing my Father isn't one for town gossip I will just have to pray that he doesn't pick a paper up. He should be coming home right from his trip so once he returns I will try my hardest to keep him occupied inside the estate hopefully until the next ball.
My plans are rocky, so rocky I am not even sure if they are true plans, yet I don't know what else can be done. I can only pray Anthony has more grace when it comes to propositions large as this than I do. And I am not Lady Whistledown nor do I know her so stopping the distribution of her papers would be impossible.
But it isn't just informing Father of the Viscounts proposition, or gossip that I need to worry about. It is asking Father for permission to see mother that I am distraught over. Ever since my night terror seeing her has been the only thing that seems to have any true meaning on my mind.
"Baron Kingston, it's an honor to have you home!" One of our servants cheers across the house. There is no more time to worry, just time to come forward.
Light quiet chatter mumbles from the main hall as I make my way there from the parlor, Anna, Ryder, and my nieces by my side.
There I am met by the gaze of someone standing next to Father who looks peculiarly familiar. A man who seems to be Ryders age with a smirk plastered across his face as his eyes attach to mine.
Confused by the interaction, confused as to who this man is I turn to Ryder and give him a look to see if he knows. But to my disappointment Ryder looks just as confused as I.
"My dear children!" Father begins with an unusually positive smile and attitude, "It is great to see you all again," He continues before giving us each a hug.
"Who is that man?" Ryder whispers to Father only to be ignored.
"Oh my Veronica, I do have good news," Father then says.
"W- what is it?" I stutter as a weird feeling twists in my stomach.
"For God's sake don't stutter," He whispers before continuing his act, "And the news is of our new friend, The Duke of Avalon, Stephen Chambers," Father grins finally drawing attention the mysterious man.
Is that why he looks so familiar, because he has the last name Chambers? Now that Father has mentioned it he does look a great deal like my good old friend Luke.
"It's an honor," The Duke smirks before giving a polite bow.
"And I you," I reply reluctantly using my ladylike manners. The masked manners that made me the diamond of the season.
"Why is he here Father?" Ryder bluntly questions, only asking what I wish I had the guts to.
"That is the big news isn't it. I believe that the Duke would be an exceptional partner for Veronica. I have told him all about her and he has agreed to meet and start a courtship,"
"What?" I ask my mind suddenly going faint. A courtship with a man i've never met?
"You haven't seemed to like any of the suitors at the balls so I found one for you, I figured this way you would actually marry this season. The Duke is an exceptional man and I have come to find that he is also a cousin of your old friend Luke Chambers,"
"I- I don't know what to say," I reply once more in a whisper. I turn to look at Ryder and Anna, all they have to offer is an apologetic look in their eyes. I then look at Father turning sick as he looks happier than ever. Then finally I turn and look at the Duke, the man Father wants me to start a courtship with and eventually marry.
I hate that he looks so familiar, I hate that he is Luke's cousin, I hate that he is here, I hate that he looks so put together and rounded, and I hate that he is not the Viscount.
"Well you don't need to talk logistics now, I shall have the staff prepare a great dinner and we can talk details then. In the meantime why don't the two of you get to know each other personally. I will chaperone in the parlor as you converse," Father grins already guiding us across the house. Reluctantly and sickly I follow, the Duke by my side.
This can't be happening. Not when I was so close to being with Anthony Bridgerton, the man whom I have found myself to be in love with. Admittedly everything with Viscount Bridgerton happened so fast and from a whirlwind of emotions but that's the thing. With Anthony there are emotions... sparks, when we kissed at the lake I felt more intimate and important than ever. I couldn't imagine feeling that euphoric way with anyone else. I couldn't imagine the feeling of anyone else's touch on my skin.
"I am afraid i'm going to be sick," I whisper just as the Duke and I sit down Father standing next to us unbearably close.
"Aren't you well? If you need rest we could converse another time," Stephan explains, his voice warm and genuine. I hate the fact that I don't hate him, I hate the fact that he is so familiar.
"Does Mother know?" Is all I say next, now driving my anger laced words towards Father.
"No, there is no use telling her I do not need her confirmation," Father replies.
"Have you forgotten her already? She is still under this roof sick as a dog and you don't have a care in the world. Is that why you won't let me see her? Because you know I actually care for her, are you scared she will then see you for your feelings and who you truly are?" I snap at Father paying no attention to Stephan as he is sitting next to me.
"How dare you talk to your Father in such a way. I raised you to be a lady! Your mother pushed for your education but maybe I should have took your years of schooling into years of reform school! You are an arrogant brat Veronica, there is a reason why no suitors have proposed a courtship with you!" He growls causing the whole room to shake with his wrath. His eyes turn dark and his face a bright scarlet.
Without hesitation as the last word escapes his lips Father slaps me across the face. I squeal in response in utter disbelief of what had just occurred.
"I am so sorry," I cry turning to apologize to Stephan before getting up to dash from the room making no intention to even glance at the man who calls himself my Father.
Not sure what to do or how to even think I run to through the house in haste. Stephen calls after me causing me to only run faster. I skip past Ryder to the front door as he asks what's the matter only to be ignored.
By the time any of them are close enough to stop me I am already leaping onto one of the horses we keep in our stables. No rationality is left inside of me, there is no time to think, only time to get away.
From there I ride ignoring the shouts coming from behind me until eventually they fade out into the sounds of pouring rain. From there I navigate the streets of the ton and am unconsciously found riding to the Bridgerton estate.
Once there I tie up my horse just outside and run up to the door. My hair is soaked and disheveled, my dress moist and uncomfortable, my appearance all around depressing. Despite all of this I begin knocking without hesitation.
Only after hitting the door three times does a servant answer.
"Hello, and who may you be?" The man asks.
"I- I am Veronica Kingston. I am a friend of Eloise and Anthony. Please may I come in," I whimper trying my hardest to not break down and cry just now realizing the fact that I have been keeping my tears locked up inside.
"Please give me a mome-" He begins before being interrupted.
"Miss Kingston?" Benedict's familiar voice rings through their great hall.
"Yes," I weakly reply.
"Well come in, it's pouring out all you will do out there is catch a cold," He explains pushing past the help to let me inside.
"Thank you," I shiver thanking both the man and Benedict.
I then follow Benedict as he guides me to a loveseat just inside the hall.
"I assume you are here to see Eloise," He begins I can tell not to sure how to talk to me in the state i'm in.
"Actually I came to see Anthony..." I reply hoping that he won't have a word to say about how indecent it would be for the two of us to meet.
"Well you're in luck then. Mother's out in town with everyone but Anthony and myself. Judging by the rain I am sure they will be back soon. I can walk you upstairs, let him know you're here," He hesitantly replies.
"Aren't you going to say anything? About how informal this is of me?"
"What good would that do me? We can call it a favor from one artist to another," He smirks before leading the way upstairs.
"Thank you Benedict," I simply reply and follow still holding my cascades of tears and emotion.
"Anthony, Miss Kingston is here to see-" Benedict begins only to be interrupted by Anthony's opening door.
"Veronica?" Anthony greets first with excitement then worry in his voice.
"Hello Anthony," I choke before he engulfs me in a hug that feels so secure that for a moment all of my insecurities seem nonexistent. It is only when he lets go that I realize that I am now sobbing, choking over my own breath.
"I will take my leave," Benedict then says before excusing himself, leaving Anthony and I with no chaperone.
"What's wrong my flower?" He then asks after pulling me into his chambers, "You are drenched and shivering of all things,"
"Everything," I cry before hugging him again this time keeping every burning thought present in my mind.
"It's alright, just let me hold you now," Anthony solely replies. He then holds me, wrapping me up in a blanket to dry, protecting me from the evil arms of the world, waiting for me to talk as soon as I am ready.