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Kayla drives me home after she argues that Jordon couldn't be trusted around her patient. It was almost midnight and my mother's car was parked in the driveway. That meant I was in deep trouble. I prayed that she would be asleep but that prayer seem to be in vain.
"Jemima Arielle Wilson! Where were you?!" She screams when I enter the house.
"With Lia," That wasn't a complete lie, it just didn't include the part where Lia died.
"Oh so you're lying to me now, I called Lia's mother, neither of you were there. Where did you go?!"
All I could do was stare at my fuming mother. Since my brother died I had barely looked at her. She appeared stressed, weak, and beaten. She tries to hold her emotions together all these years for the sake of me—she couldn't do that anymore.
"First you take my car without my consent. Don't think I didn't notice. Then you disappear without an explanation," she continues "I know you're an adult but I'm your mother. Do you understand that I'm your mother? I lost my son I can't lose you too," That last part came out soft, it sent knives through my chest.
I'm a horrible daughter.
"You're not going to lose me."
"That's what your brother said and where is he now? I can't allow you to take to the path he did." She thinks about something for a moment before talking again. "Therapy-".
"No, no, no" I protest stopping her before she finishes, my mother gives me the look. The one that says you are living under my roof hence you abide by my rules in addition to that I also carried you for nine months. The look I completely dislike.
"You have to talk to someone, it's obvious that you don't want to talk to me so you'll talk to someone else. Tomorrow at nine. Eat something and get some sleep," There wasn't any room for an argument. I know my mother well enough to know that she was serious.
At seven in the morning, she woke me up. Sluggish, demotivated, cranky, and groggy—I drag myself through my morning routine and settled for a blue floral dress and a pair of flip-flops. Getting into the car was another struggle, after fourth five minutes of talking to myself in the mirror, I concluded that the only option that would get me out of this predicament faster, was just to go along with it.
"Jemi why did you leave your purse outside!" My mother called from the car.
"I didn't!" My attention was more focused on giving myself a pep talk in the mirror. Then I remembered that I left my purse at Lia's and it would be impossible for it to be here.
There it was. My purse was on the front steps. It was almost as if it was there all along. I know very well that it wasn't there before, I was certainly not the one who put it there. "Close the door and get in the car," All I did was stared at the purse that was now in my hands. "Oh I left my jacket," my mother came out of the car and went back inside. My eyes scan the street for anything unusual. There was a familiar black van parked on the other side of the curb.
When I got over there and knocked on the glass, I wasn't too surprised to see a beaming Tae along with Dash's bruised face behind the wheel.
"What are you doing at my house?"
"We are parked on the other side of your house we aren't actually at your house," It was already too early to deal with Tae's whimsical sense of humor, so I ignored him and turn my attention to Dash for an answer.
"We came to return your purse, it was back in the building. Are you okay?"
"I should be asking you, your face is-"
"Sweet, handsome and Dash-ing," He adds. "We have to go before your mother calls the police, come by the hospital later after therapy,"
"Stop spying on me."
"Spying on you? I would never," Dash rolls up the windows, started the engine.
Creeps.
The drive to the therapist's office was dreadful. My mother is completely immune to my pleads. We parked in front of a small baronial building in a busy part of St.Maris.
After she abandons me in the empty parking lot, she went to work. I was tempted to walk to the nearest bus stop and go home but that decision would cause more problems in the long run.
Printed on the transparent double doors had a white stylish font that reminded me of the first day of the second year—the day of the explosion. The very day my life, which was already a mess got messier. The air from the air conditioner gave me instant goose bumps. The place smelled like strawberry cupcakes, which calmed my nerves.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
What will we discuss? Feelings, my past? This wasn't feeling right. I'm my therapist which makes all of this redundant. There was a reception table containing papers, flowers, and a laptop however it was missing the receptionist.
I used this opportunity to take a seat in the waiting area. Hopefully, if I was lucky, midday will arrive before anyone acknowledge my presence. Today there was no such thing as luck. The door next to the reception table, with the words 'Doctor Redford' carved into a squared iron, flew open and my eyes widen.
Brown, long, wavey hair, dark brown eyes, and light skin. Wearing a face caked in foundation, her attire was simple but modest. I don't think I would ever forget the first time we met. After all, I almost died in that attack.
Azim.
"It's nice to see you again Jemima," she aires bright and cheerful.
"Y-your my therapist?" I shutter
. "Aren't you a gang member?" I half expected her to feel offended but her smile didn't falter.
"I hold a master's in psychology, I can reassure you that I'm qualified to be your therapist...and yes occasionally I offer my services to the Three Rings an anti-government organization," She made sure to accentuate the last two words.
"Okay."
"Follow me," she leads the way into her office. The room was well put together. A bookshelf with copies of every Percy Jackson, Lord of the rings, and Twilight series caught my eyes. There were other books like Scorpio Races, Treasure Island, and To kill a mockingbird. "I allow my clients to borrow one of them after the third session," she said to me, noticing my interest in the shelf.
"I don't think I'll be there for that long."
"I wonder why that is. I have given you a reason to hate therapy so far."
I sighed and wished that she had.
"Not yet."
"Good, take a seat".
She took her place behind her desk while I seat myself across from her. I felt out of place despite the bit of familiarity between us. "Let's set some ground rules, you aren't to ask me about your or the Three Rings. This session is not to answer external questions but rather internal ones and you can call me Dr. Redford." she stopped and I gave her a small nod to show that I agreed. "This is all about you not what's happened externally".
"Doesn't external factors influence internal ones?"
"They do. For now, I want to know about your internal conflicts. Let's start with how you're feeling today"
"I'm fine," she crossed her hands over the table and stared me dead in the eyes. "Those bags under your eyes say otherwise, Jemima anything you tell me stays here, in this very room."
"Okay, I feel useless, I feel like I have no control over what's going to happen. I can't hold a gun let alone kill anyone. I couldn't even stop myself from being taken to Wade because I'm stupid and have terrible taste in friends." I say even though she made it clear not to talk about them
"You want to be powerful," It was more of a statement of realization rather than a question.
"I want to be useful not something to protect. Dash, Jordon, Jason, and Tae are useful. I completely hate the fact that they kill people but at least they do something. I'm just existing," She thought about something for a long moment, and reaching for a notepad, she writes something down. The urge to peek over the table was irritating.
What could she be writing?
"Well you could ask one of them to train you." I gave her a second to correct herself, a second turned into a minute.
"I don't think anyone of them would have the time."
"Don't worry about that."
"Would training with them make me one of them?"
"No, it's a just training and they aren't necessarily bad people there is nothing wrong with joining although I wouldn't recommend becoming a member."
"As long as I don't have to shoot anyone I will think about it."
"There are actually members who aren't allowed to kill."
"Really? Who?"
"Tae and Jason are two you've met already. They are apart special group called the Seraphims their only aim is to protect and minimize causalities."
"That's interesting especially about Tae he definitely doesn't comes off as a protector when I first met him."
She laughs
"Not everyone can be like Jason or Daniel."
"Wait Daniel doesn't kill people?!"
"Yes he does but before all of that he was apart of the Seraphims and in some ways he still is."
"What about Atticus?"
"I can't talk about him Jemi."
"You and everyone else."
"I know you want to know everything but you will have to find them while training with them." She close her book. "That's all for today."
"As in I can go?" I ask hopefully.
"Yes and I want you to take this book," Her hands reaches under her desk and pulls out a small blue book. "Write down all the things you can control and the things that you can't. I hope to see you again."
"You're letting me leave early?" I ask again in disbelief.
"If you want to stay-"
"No, no I want to leave."
Dr. Redford showed me out. All I could think about were the Seraphims and their purpose. The Three Rings have just became the most interesting thing I ever heard of.