~ Niall's eyes
I hate myself.
I hate myself so much I cannot put into words how much I would like to punch myself in the face. I wish I could undo everything, undo her pain, undo my pain, I wish we could start again. But life isn't a video game, once you consume your lives you don't get to respawn. There's no little arrow in which you can delete your words or actions. Everything would be way easier if there was one, right? I would be able to press a button and hug her like it's the last time I would ever get to, because I don't think that I can ever, ever, hold her again like I used to. I broke her, I broke her like a guitar string, like a glass, I broke her like a promise.
I wish I could turn back time and take all the hurt I have ever created in her heart, I wish I could turn back time and show her how much she means to me, how much I love her.
But I can't.
How stupid was I to think that breaking her heart would be better than holding it?
Very stupid.
Very, very, very, very stupid.
"Hey man" Ethan came into the room.
Silence.
"Alright, I guess we are the same cocky shit as always" He scoffed
"Can you just-" My voice broke "Can you not?"
"What's up with you now?" He threw himself onto the bed
"I broke up with Athena"
"You two were together?" He asked
I sighed "No, it's complicated, that's not the point anyway, I broke whatever we had"
"Ohhhh," He dragged the word "So you were the stupid little piece of shit Anna was talking about?"
"Not helping, man" I muttered
"Why did you break up with her?" Ethan questioned
"I have a girlfriend"
Ethan laughed "A girlfriend? That's literally impossible, the only thing you talk about since we became roommates is Athena, like every single night you talk to me about her, you cannot even look at other woman without-"
"Okay okay I get it!" I cut him off. "It's complicated, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because-" I ran my hand through my hair in frustration "Becauseit'snotarealgirlfriend"
"Come again?"
"Becauseit'snotarealgirlfriend"
"Bro, do I look like I understood whatever the fuck you said? Say it slowly, for god's sake"
"Because. it's. not. a. real. girlfriend" I muttered against the pillow
"What do you mean it's not a real girlfriend? Is she invisible? Oh my god are you high?"
"No I'm not high, for god's sake Ethan!"
"Then elaborate, man!"
"It 's PR! It's a stunt! There, I said it!" I yelled
"Holy shit"
"I know" I whimpered
"You have to tell her, if you tell her she will understand" He shook my arms
"Richard said I couldn't"
"Who the fuck cares what that hairless stinky rat says"
"True, i'm not telling her though, she hates me"
"She does not"
"Yes she does"
"No she doesn't"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"She loves you"
"Say what now?" I jumped from my bed
"You heard me" Ethan smirked
"She does not love me, stop getting my hopes up" I cried
"Oh but she does" He smirked again
"How do you even know?"
"I can tell"
Could she really love me? I definitely know that I love her. I love the way she smiles, I love how she gives me chance after chance, no matter how much I screw up. I love her eyes, I love her little button nose and how she constantly scrunches it, I love her little dimples that sometimes appear and sometimes don't. I love how she closes her eyes whenever she wants to treasure a moment, I love how she constantly takes photographs of everything because she wants to remember every single thing, I love the way her hand fits in mine like it's made just for me, I love everything. I love every little thing that makes her, her.
I'm in love with Athena Rivers.
And I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
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A/N
Did you see that coming *standing emoji*
This chapter is short take it or leave it ig
Don't leave pls
Anyways I hope you liked it :))
I love you very very very veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy much
Till the next update,
Lot's of love,
S xxx
(Ps: THANK YOU FOR 4K OMFG IM SCREAMING)