His hands wrapped around my waist pulling me back against his chest, "East no, let me turn the shower on."
He only tightened his grip before whispering, "don't tease me, Ly."
I wiggle my way out of his grip and walk into the shower, I turn the nozzle and move out of the way to let the water warm up. I feel his arms wrap around me, pushing himself and I under the water.
I let out a squeal which is masked by his lips. He presses against me softly, the semi-warm water drenching both of us.
I pull away from him, feeling a smile form across my lips.
"There's my girl."
I don't know what it was about that phrase, but every time he says it, my heart glows.
"Look what you did now, our clothes are soaked East." I groan, at my soaked shorts.
He bends his head down and I feel his lips kiss my shoulder, "let me help with that."
His lips find their way back to mine, tugging on my bottom lip, I let his tongue work its way through my lips. His hands reach behind me and undo the clasps of my bra, I unlink my arms from behind his neck, letting it fall to the shower floor, which he kicks behind us.
Our lips are separated for less than a second when he pulls his shirt over his head before he pushes me against the wall.
I wince feeling my back press up against the wall, he pulls his lips away from mine, his face full of concern.
"I'm okay," I whisper before pulling his lips back to mine.
His hands snake down my back, and slide to the front of my shorts, undoing the button, pulling both them and my underwear down. I step out of them, letting him push them aside.
His hands grip my ass, lifting me up. My arms wrap around his neck, moaning into the kiss.
He pulls away, looking at me, hungrily.
Yet the look is quickly replaced when he closes his eyes, shaking his head before he presses it into my shoulder.
"East?" I run my hand through the back of his hair.
"I can't, you're not ready Ly, and I'm okay with that." He whispered.
"But, I am."
"No." He replied bluntly.
"Look at me," I demanded, which caused him to lift his head off my shoulder. "I'm ready, I'm okay. I want this with you."
"I don't want to hurt you," he spoke softly.
I push my lips against him softly before whispering, "I love you."
He had been taking everything so slowly, a kiss took a while, and then letting his hands drift across my body took even longer, but this man held my whole heart. And being with him made everything fade, and I needed to be closer to him, I wanted to only see him. No more pain, no more hurt, no more antagonizing memories.
The sound of the water shutting off, causes me to look back at him.
"Okay, but you have to promise to stop me if you can't continue." He whispered kissing the side of my head.
I gave him a small nod, I could feel the butterflies floating around in my stomach, and the shiver running down my spine at the same time.
He pushed me up against the glass wall, slowly kissing my neck, I moved my head to the side giving him more access. I found myself closing my eyes, and instead of seeing the torturous nightmares, all I saw was nothing, yet pure bliss.
My hand slides down his chest, undoing the button of his jeans. He turns his attention to getting the jeans off, "fucking wet jeans ruining everything," I heard him curse under his breath.
He set me down, attempting to peel the jeans from his legs, only to make me laugh in the process.
When he finally got them off, a smirk formed across his lips, "what are you laughing at Ly?"
"Nothing," I lied, the smile disappear off my face as he stalked towards me. I could see the bulge through his soaked boxers.
I felt myself being picked up causing me to laugh again, "East! No!"
I watched as we exited the bathroom, for a second he had stopped before he continued walking into the room, I could see his boxers on the ground.
I then found myself on the bed, it was extremely soft, and the comforter on top was fluffy. It was like heaven in bed form. I laid in it for several seconds taking in the feeling, I could feel the goosebumps form on my skin, even though it was warm.
I sat up, looking for Easton, and then I watched him walk out of the bathroom looking stressed.
"What's wrong?" I questioned, snuggling into the heaven-like pillow.
"I can't find the fucking condoms!" He yelled, grabbing one of the bags searching through it.
He looked up and over at me, "And you're over there looking like that, I'm fucked if I don't fucking find them."
Seconds later a box landed beside me, condoms. I looked over at him, a devilish smirk plastered on his lips. He made his way over towards the bed, getting on top of me. His lips connected with mine, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth.
His lips moved from mine as a moan escaped my lips.
"The sexiest sound, I have ever heard," He whispered, kissing my ear, and down my neck before sucking on the sensitive spot.
"Don't stop," I moaned gripping the back of his head.
His mouth pressed harder against my neck, moving down slowly, I could feel his one hand tracing circles around my arm, a comfortable feeling.
His erection pushed up against me, and the memories started flowing in.
I felt frozen, I couldn't move, I didn't want this, I want Easton. I wanted to only see East, to be able to have sex with the man I love. Yet instead, I could see the tortuous eyes staring at me, taking control.
"Baby?" I could hear a questioning voice.
"Come on, open your eyes, it's me." The voice pleaded.
"Baby, I'm not going to hurt you," the agony and pain in the voice brought pain to my heart.
I pried my eyes open, everything was blurry, I let my eyes refocus on my surroundings. Easton was sitting beside me, no longer on top of me.
"You saw him, didn't you?" He questioned, the pain still in his voice.
"Yes," was all I could make out. I was disappointed in myself, the pills were helping but he distorted my thoughts.
The words flowed out of my mouth as if it was the strong version of me talking, "he used his weight against me."
There were no tears, no remorse, it happened.
Easton's head turned towards me, "He.."
I knew what he was asking, and I shook my head.
"I fought, I fought really hard, I didn't want him to ruin the moments that you gave me. He tried endlessly too until he made the vow that he would get me to submit to him by inflicting every type of pain on me."
He cursed under his breath before laying down beside me, kissing the side of my head.
"You are the strongest woman I have ever met, my love."
"I want this East, I want you to replace every single pain throbbing memory, I need you too," I whispered.
His hand was running over my stomach, I knew what he was doing, he was debating, he didn't know what to do, but I know what I wanted, needed.
Him.
He pulled me onto his lap, so I was straddling him.
"This. No one is forcing you, I am not forcing you. If this is what you want. You are in control. Ride me."
I felt my eyebrows fluster together, "I don't know how to do this East."
His lips grazed mine, "I'll help you Ly."
He grabbed the box from the side table, taking a package out handing it to me. I slowly ripped it open, watching him from the corner of my eyes, while I rolled it down his length.
He brought his lips to mine, "relax."
I felt his hand go down my side, and dip between my legs. His thumb slowly rubbed my clit, causing me to suck in a breath. I felt his finger push inside of me, I pushed down on his chest, whispering out a "fuck."
His lips trailed down my neck to my shoulder, kissing every inch, as he worked another finger into me.
I let my eyes flutter closed, as he fucked me with his fingers until he had stopped.
"Keep your eyes open." His demand ringing throughout my ears.
I slowly opened them, and his fingers slowly began to move again, causing me to gasp.
"Eyes on me the whole time Lyla, if you want this." He whispered, his lips like fire against my skin.
His eyes were kind and sweet, a colour I missed.
"Good girl."
I felt his fingers completely leave me, causing an empty feeling in my core.
His hand grabbed mine, guiding it to hold the base of his cock, my other hand placed firmly on his chest.
I watched his mouth open to say something, but my lips covered his, as I slowly pushed myself down onto him.
His hands wrapped around my waist, holding me up, as I let gasps fall out of my mouth.
Slowly I found a rhythm, in which my hips grinded against him, his hands slowly guiding me. His lips working slowly against mine, taking in every moan that left my lips. This position was hitting every spot.
His hands slowly left my hips and went up, massaging my breasts, his thumbs circling my nipples. His hands knew every inch of my body, and every place his fingertips touch left absolute fireworks, his kiss left a stinging relief.
His lips once again were on mine as his hand found its way down to my clit, slowly rubbing it in circles, everything he touched on my body stimulated the orgasm that was building up.
"Fuck," he groaned against my lips. I could feel my core pulsing around him chasing for an orgasm.
I could feel it building up as I grinded my hips against him, slowly moving up and down his length, as his thumb continued to work at my clit.
A throaty grunt left his throat, as he placed a hand back onto my hip, we were both chasing something that was on the brick. And I knew he was holding himself back.
"Help," I mumbled out.
He pulled me down onto his chest, his lips quickly finding mine as he started to thrust into me. He quickly built up my orgasm to the breaking point, causing me to cry out.
"Come on baby, come for me." He groaned as he continued to thrust into me.
He pushed me over the edge, I could feel the orgasm throughout my whole body, pulsing around his length, my eyes rolled back, as my lips fell from his, moaning into his neck.
Another throaty groan from his lips, his thrusts got sloppier, I watched as he pushed his head into the pillow, groaning.
We both laid there, breathless.
His hand slowly running up and down my back, drawing small circles, which caused me to look up at him.
"I love you."
His lips kissed mine gently before I whispered, "I love you."
I felt him pull out from me, before discarding the condom to the floor. He brought the comforter over us, continuing to rub my back.
It didn't take long for me to fall asleep on his chest.
The sun shone in through the glass doors, waking me up, Easton was still asleep, his arms wrapped around my waist. I could hear the birds and the ocean outside, everything was peaceful here, no more pain.
"Hey sleepyhead, wake up," I whispered, kissing his cheek.
"No," I could hear the subtle groan from his mouth.
I brought my lips to his ear, "I'll give you a blow job."
I felt his body stiffen underneath me, "really?"
"No, now get up." I laugh, getting out of bed.
"You're a cruel woman." He groaned, putting the pillow over his head.
I grabbed his arm, attempting to pull him from the bed, "come on! I wanna go swimming."
He stood up, which caused me to bite my lip, he was hard. "Look what you did, how the fuck am I supposed to go swimming when you are fucking teasing me like that."
I held in my laugh, I found the situation mildly funny, I force out an "I'm sorry," without laughing.
"Yeah like hell you are, I can see that fucking smile, Lyla." He groaned walking away from me, closing the bathroom door behind him.
I threw on a shirt before putting my bag on the bed, pulling out a bikini. I bit my lip hard, keeping in the laugh, hearing a groan come from the closed door. Poor guy.
I quickly put it on and lay on the bed waiting for him.
He walks out of the bathroom, a towel draped around his waist, not gonna lie I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.
I walked towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "hurry up East."
I let a shriek out when I feel his hand come down on my ass, a smirk plastered across his lips, "I like this bikini, easy access."
I could feel my face heating up, before he tells me 'I'm a tease.'
I threw some swimming shorts at him, "hurry."
I watched as he dropped the towel and picked the shorts off of the floor, I raised my hand to slap his ass, yet he caught my wrist before I could.
"Lyla, don't," he warned. And then I slapped his ass with my other hand.
I watched the scowl grow on his face, he quickly put the shorts on before picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder.
"East put me down!" I shrieked.
Yet he continued walking out the door. Seconds later we were on the beach, there were lots of people, staring at us.
He dropped me down into the sand and stood in front of me, helping me back up. I pressed a small peck onto his lips, "I love you."
"Momma, look at her back." I heard a small voice say, which caused me to turn.
A little boy was staring at me, a mix of curiosity and fear lined his face, which made me sink. My back. And then I noticed others silently staring at us, I pressed my back as close as I could to Easton's chest.
I know he could feel me shaking, because he put his arms around my waist, "baby, it's okay," he whispered.
I pushed him away and ran, I don't know where I was going, but I needed to get away from their eyes, their stares.
I saw our villa and ran to it, shutting the door behind me, my legs gave out, and sobs finally started to leave my throat.
I'm a monster.
I forgot about the scars, I forgot they were there because East, he made me forget. He knew they were there, yet never said anything about going to the beach, why didn't he tell me?
"Ly?" He questioned, rubbing a hand down my arm.
"They don't know what you've been through, they're all just curious, I'm sorry baby." His voice was full of pain.
"They were all staring," I spoke, in-between sobs. "I don't want to go back."
"I'm sorry baby, you deserved better, you're so strong." He whispered, I felt his arms lift me up, setting me on the bed.
Over the next two hours, he laid in the bed with me, ordered us food, and continuously caressed my body.
My distorted body.
When there was a knock at the door, he got up from the bed, which caused me to sit up. Axel walked in, a big fucking smirk on his face.
Fucking dumbass.
I gave him a small wave and watched as Easton whispered to him before making his way over to my side of the bed.
"Baby, I have some work to take care of, I won't be long, and then I'll be right back here with you, the rest of the trip. And please put some more clothes on, I don't want Axel fucking staring." He whispered, kissing the top of my head.
He grabbed a shirt from his bag and walked out, closing the door behind him.
"Okay moopy, get the fuck out of bed," Axel yelled.
I shook my head.
"Don't make me drag you out," He threatened.
"Axel I don't want to."
"Ok, Easton told me about the fuckers staring. Let them. Let them gock at your fucking back, fuck them. You are strong, they don't know fucking shit. So, get the fuck out of bed, and let's do something. Like fuck it's Dante's resort, do you want to get a fucking tattoo or something?"
The mention of a tattoo caused me to sit up.
"You wanna go get a tattoo?" He questioned.
I jumped out of the bed which caused him to turn around, "Could've fucking warned me, I rather stay alive."
I grab some shorts and a shirt throwing them on.
"It was just a bikini Axel, not like I was naked," I murmured.
"Okay whatever, but if you are getting a fucking tattoo, I did not take you, got it?" He demanded, which caused me to laugh, he was scared of the teddy bear named Easton.
Time to get rid of my demons.