Crizza's Point Of View: Philippines.
"Crizza!!!" Narinig ko ang isang babae na sumigaw mula sa gilid ng airport, nakita ko si Avery na nakangiting kumakaway sa aming dalawa ni mommy. Agad siyang pumunta saakin at saka ako niyakap at pagkatapos naman ay kay mommy at nakipag beso.
"Grabe na ang ikinalaki mo Avery ha? Infairness sa kagandahan mo." Sabi ni mommy, mas close pa silang dalawa keysa sa amin ni mommy. Paano bestfriend kasi ng mommy ko ang mommy niya kahit mag cousin na sila.
"Naku tita ikaw naman itong younger as ever kaya Idol kita e'." Sabi nito bago bumaling sa akin, ngumiti lang akong tipid at saka sumunod sa kanilang nag uusap.
Hindi na ako nakihalubilo pa sa usapan dahil naiilang parin ako sa mga tao dito sa Pilipinas at mainit pa rin pala talaga rito, nothing change except improvements of airport accessories, new building and new establishments and so on.
Ganun parin ang Maynila magulo, maingay at maraming tao pero mas feel ko naman ang atmosphere rito keysa sa New York na hiwa-hiwalay ang mga tao at bahay. Nahagip ng mata ko ang malaking entertainment at saka naman agad na napangiting kinalabit si Avery.
"Diyan yung entertainment ng kaaway mo hindi ba? Anong pangalan nga ulit no'n Kabi? Kobe?"
"Caleb Anderson Fervio, oo diyan nga." Sabi nya bago umirap at tumingin muli sa labas ng kotse, lagi siyang bad trip kapag iyong lalaking 'yon ang pinag uusapan namin kaya nanahimik nalang ako at hindi siya kinausap.
I took out my phone as I scrolled on my instagram, hindi kasi ako nagkaroon ng facebook kasi hindi gaanong uso 'yon sa New York kaya heto ako nakikiuso sa bagong trend which is yung trend naman dito sa Pilipinas.
Dumaan kami sa condo ni ate, she seems very happy that she saw us. That must be fake.
"I really missed you ma, sis!" Nahinto si ate ng makita niya si Avery, inirapan siya ni Avery at siya namang nag taas ng kilay at agad na natawa. "In just years you still look like a maid, wala ka man lang glow up or hindi ka pumila kasi nakakahiya at mukhang need mo nalang ng miracle?"
"Andami mo namang sinabi e' hindi ka naman sexy." Sabi ni Avery at saka umirap, sumimangot lang sa kanya si ate at saka hindi na muling binaling ang atensyon sa kanya.
Ate grabbed my arm as she hugged it tight.
Come on just tell it, hindi ka naman laging ganyan.
"I missed you sis!" Sabi niya, buntong hininga nalang ako at saka ngumiting niyakap siya. Hindi naman niya talaga ako na miss ang sabihin niya na lang ay may ipapagawa siya saakin.
Our differences matters as always, alam mo 'yon? I am really into the country and living normal life unlike her na mas into the process, difficulties. Tipong mahirap ng mamuhay pero siya mas pinahihirapan niya pa mas lalo.
"Mom may I talk to Crizza?" Maarteng paglalambing niya kay mommy, mommy nodded as she saw my sister grabbing my hand palabas ng condo niya.
Tumayo ako at saka siya tinitigang sinasarado ang pinto, humarap naman siya saakin at saka ngumiti at malambing na hinawakan ang braso ko, hinihintay ko siyang mag salita at nang maramdaman kong huminga siya ay agad akong nag salita.
"Ate, ano nanaman ba?" Hindi iritable ngunit gusto ko malaman kung tungkol saan ang iuutos niya sa akin.
She hissed and smiled at me. "Will and I will have you know? Some project together as mafia can you please pretend like me?"
My jaw literally dropped when I heard that, wala naman akong kaso na maging sya dahil we both know na magkamukha lang kaming dalawa and we can easily do that.
"Just be with Range before the wedding please?" Muli niya pang pagmamakaawa, she knew that I couldn't say no to her at all.
"Ate sorry ha? But I cannot do that." Mahinhin kong aniya at bahagya na ibinagsak ang dalawang balikat, ngumuso siya bago muling i-shinake ang kamay ko.
"You're not gonna fall for him right? Nothing to worry about." Pangungumbinsi niya.
Alam ko naman na hindi ako interesado kay Range, I mean he's pretty handsome and the standard of the outside pero hindi ko naman siya kilala personally na alam ko kung anong klaseng lalaki siya.
The difference between my ate and I is just I don't stay looking at the outside while she's more into quality than quantity.
"Sige na Crizza please, this won't make you die anyways." She's right pero hindi pa rin kasi ako naniniwala na safe ang kasama ang fiance' niya and I know we're identical twins but I cannot wear what she wears or even be like her because we have our differences too.
"Ate hindi talaga I swear, hindi naman sa ayaw kitang pag bigyan pero alam mong hindi ko gusto makasama si Range and what if I failed then it is my fault again?"
"Come on the thing you will do is just simple as it is! Get it all in your mind Crizza, come on! Hindi mo ba talaga ako tutulungan even kapatid mo 'ko? Gosh please!" Pagbabago niya ng tono at reaksyon yung tipikal na Hannah that is rude and bossy not like the earlier which is the fake one.
"Ate you know na I cared for you that much right?" Sabi ko bago abutin ang dalawa niyang kamay at haplusin iyon. "I just can't do it, you know act as you is the biggest last thing on my mind."
Bumuntong hininga na agad hinawakan din ang kamay ko before biting her own bottom lip as she sighed again. "Just do it, for a while lang naman and you're so lucky that I just asked you to pretend to be me with Range instead of pretending to be me and be with Will and kill people right?" She said that's why I scoffed.
Parang sinabi nya namang I cannot get out of this, though I cannot say no because she basically means that if I don't want to choose Range's plan then I will choose to be with Will.
Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi tumango na lamang.
"Yey! That means you want to be Range than with will Right?" Aniya nito, buntong hininga ako bago umiling nalang.
I want to be safe and don't kill anyone so ang pinili ko ay ang kay Range but if I have a choice to say no, I won't hesitate anymore and will say 'no' to her.
"Thanks sis, but you better not steal him. You won't, right?" Paninigurado niya, I closed my mouth and nodded.
It's not like I'm interested in him anyways...
In my perspective hindi ko ideal man si Range kahit ilang beses ko na siyang nakita from the brands, movies and commercials but I don't see him attractive at all mostly he's just cute in my eyes. So I won't fall for him either nor steal him in any way.
"Let's go inside, alam kong papayag ka so I ordered you something tara!" Nagmamadaling aniya nito habang hinihila ako, ang tinuod nalamang ako sa hila niya at sabay kaming pumasok, she even gazed Avery with his poker face before leading me to sit on her couch.
Nanahimik akong nakaupo duon habang hinihintay siyang may kinuha sa may kabinet while me and Avery looked at each other, sinesenyasan niya rin ako na para bang hindi niya nagugustuhan nasa condominium kami ni ate.
"Here." Narinig ko ang pag salita ni ate kaya agad akong bumalik sa wisyo at ngumiti ng nag patay malisya.
When I hold it ay malaki ang mata ko because as far as I remember this is what I asked her to give me if I got my way in the Philippines when I was eleven.
I opened the box and I saw the album that I want, it is an album full with the nicest places to go sa iba't-ibang bansa, nilingon ko si ate at saka naman siya ngumiti.
"Thanks." Sagot ko, she hugged me tightly kaya huminga ako ng malalim.
Tumayo siya after namin mag yakapan at lumapit kay Avery, Avery looked at her with such a disgrace but ate loves to tease her so they won't stop fighting.
"Want to try my cleanser? You know you look really old." Pang-aasar ni ate sa kanya, Avery laughed as she crossed her both arms before standing.
"You smell like a fi-"
"Shut up! I don't want a talking dog barking all around here!" Pang bara sa kanya ni ate kaya nag taas siya ng kilay at saka natatawa na may halong inis ang tingin niya kay ate.
"So ma! Everything is already set as I promised, here's the key and all the maids were back to work again but for now I think Crizza... will stay for me as we both fix something." Aniya ni ate, mom glared at her, which means she's saying warnings to ate.
"Hannah..." Mom said.
"No mom, I promise I won't make her hold a gun or be a mafia. I'm gonna take care of her okay?" She said, mom sighed when she heard that before she nodded.
"I guess I could trust you both with that, you know how dangerous it is right?" Sabi nya sa ating dalawa, matipid akong ngumiti at si ate naman ay sumang ayon.
"Go na ma, mamaya gabihin ka sa daan and this crap? Please get rid off her in our house as soon you arrive okay?" Sabi nya, mommy laughed bago umiling-iling habang si Avery na hindi maipinta ang mukha na lumapit sa akin at niyakap ako.
"I swear if I could just go kill her I'll just do it!" Iritableng bulong niya habang magkayakap kaming dalawa, hinagod ko ang likod niya.
"Don't let her get to you Avery, she's just joking." Aniya ko bago kami bumitiw sa isa't-isa before the both of them leave.
Just being here in the Philippines is a greater challenge with my sister around as she used to be, good luck to me.
Ate quietly opened up her laptop before made a sign to me na lumapit ako at tumingin sa laptop niya so I did and really walked near to her.
"What's that?" I asked her, nag ikot-ikot muna siya sa upuan niya bago ngumiti.
"That would be all of my schedule and of course pupuntahan mo lahat 'yan and with Range plus you'll be wearing everything so it'll be lot of days for you to train." Sabi nya, I decided na ibagsak ang buong katawan ko sa kama at buntong hininga ng nakatingin sa kisame.
I feel a lot of pressure right now at nakakainis iyon.
"Why would I though?" Mahinang aniya ko, naramdaman ko ang dali-daling pag tayo ni ate sa upuan na agad namang tumabi sakin sa higaan.
"Because you said yes, and you don't have any choice at all." I haven't experienced having choices...
Hindi ako umimik at manatiling tahimik habang nag iisip ng iba't-ibang bagay na gusto ka ng maintindihan. Ngayon ay na patanong na rin ako sa sarili ko kung tama pa bang umuwi ako ng Pilipinas o isang malaking pagkakamali ito na mag udyok sa akin para umalis ulit.
Ate Hannah love this kind of life and I don't kaya para sa kanya madali lang ang mag say yes on everything.
When will I have my own kind of choices and happiness? Para kasing habang kasama ko sila ay wala akong choices at wala akong desisyon na para sa sarili ko kun'di para lang sa kanila.
"I think I would just hate Philippines now." Hindi ko alam kung nadinig ni ate pero bahagya siyang napatingin saakin bago ako muling bumuntong ng hininga.
What is it like to have your own happiness na ikaw ang mismong nag effort right? That must be a pleasure unlike me that is still stuck on the same routine and life, tanging ang pagkakaiba lang ay ang bansa kung saan ako tumira.
I mean there would be such a thing na pwede kong rason para humindi sa susunod, for now I have to be her, be like her and always surround and be shadow of her.
Kung alam kong ito lang ang aabutin ko sa Pilipinas mas minabuti ko nalang bantayan si Jay na huwag lumapit sa kapatid ko keysa sa maging sunod-sunuran naman ako kay ate Hannah dito.
"You'll gonna understand what we do mean okay? kaya before pulling out the grudges just do what we say and everyone will be safe okay?" Hindi ko na siya sinagot at naramdaman ko ang pag tayo niya na bumalik pa sa kaninang inupuan niya.