The rest of the night was restless and went by horribly slow. It wasn't long after Ryder finally calmed me down that I was alright to return to my quarters. As I slowly did fall asleep I found myself surprised to be thinking of the Viscount for comfort. How I would feel wrapped up safe in his arms. How he could protect me from the pain that I am feeling.
I now find myself watching the sun rise from my window. This is something that I rarely see as I am usually allowed to sleep in.
For the first time in a long time I am dressed and ready along with the sun. Trying to make the best of my early morning while trying to get last nights dark thoughts out of my mind I decide to walk to the park to go paint. I always find painting to be therapeutic, painting the morning rise sounds lovey.
I make sure to bring one of my fathers pocket watches so for once I may be back at a reasonable time.
Father is expected to be back from his short business trip later tonight, hopefully by that time my nerves will have calmed enough to tell him about the Viscounts proposition in a mindful manor.
Without giving my plan a second thought I gather my supplies. Once collected I rush downstairs to grab some breakfast to go and there I meet Matilda.
"My goodness, Miss Kingston you are up early aren't you?" Matilda shrieks I can tell caught off guard.
"Sorry to give you a freight. I just couldn't help but wake with the sun on this fine morning," I smile chuckling at her trying to not raise any suspicions on my trip to the park.
"No it's quite alright, I am just not used to seeing you at this hour. Quite frankly I am not used to seeing anyone at this hour. Of course the rest of the staff is awake but I am used to their presence," Matilda rambles.
"Well I was just hoping to grab some quick breakfast to go,"
"To go? May I ask where you are planning to bring this food?" She asks before taking a break from preparing whatever it is she is working on to look at my appearance, "Veronica you are not planning on running off by yourself once more? I know that you are under strict supervision rules as of now, I wouldn't allow myself to just watch you run off without saying a word,"
"Well if you must abide by the rules by all means come along with me. I could use some company for a change," I half lie just trying to keep her from waking the whole house.
After a minute of hesitation Matilda replies, "Well fine. I guess some fresh air would do me good as well. Like you said it is a beautiful morning and I do have some business to attend to downtown if you wouldn't mind,"
"Not at all, as long as I can enjoy my time at the park first," I smile as she packs us both some apples and bread in a basket ready to go.
From there the walk to the park is quiet. The only noise being your scarce early morning carriage or walker. The ton is just waking up just like the day.
To my delight the views at the park are more magnificent than ever. The morning oranges and pinks fill the atmosphere and reflect so beautifully off of the pond. The view is made of gods and I have the honor to reflect it in my work.
Without taking another second to think I begin opening my paint tubes, carefully setting up my pallet.
I watch as park comes to life, as people begin to walk by, as the sun starts to shine on every leave on every tree. For a good amount of time my mind is occupied on nothing but what is lying right in front of me and how I must interpret it. No thoughts of Mother, Father, Ryder, or Anthony are filling my mind.
Instead of my personal relationships I take note of an older couple just now sitting down at a nearby park bench. I notice how they seem to be madly in love as their hands dance as their eyes meet.
You can feel the attention and admiration they have for one another. It warms my heart and makes a great addition. to my painting.
By the time I am happy with my piece I can't help but smile. The perfect morning is set in my work and cannot be tampered or damaged by time. The world is stuck in motion by my brush's strokes and I believe that is beautiful.
With a satisfactory smile I decide to collect and out away my supplies, wrapping everything up in their respected places.
From there we walk with the rest of the ton awake, with the day in motion. With the future, as scary as it may be, laying ahead.
I follow Matilda through the park and through downtown almost mindlessly. My mind focused more on my admiration for the world than my physical surroundings.
After completing her two chores we turn back to walk back home.
It wasn't until now that I was fully warped back into my brutal reality.
"How could you?" My dear friend Eloise's voice stabs my ears. I turn to notice her only steps away, her cheeks red and her eyes cold with disappointment.
"Eloise..." I begin trying to find my words. I wasn't supposed to see her, not now, not like this. Not without Anthony by my side, ready to help his sister understand. At my stroke of words Matilda backs off, allowing me to entertain the conversation.
"No, don't call me that, to you I am only Miss Bridgerton. I believe we have lost our friendly titles for one another,"
"Eloise please, let me explain!"
"No, I think I am aware of everything I need to know. Penn told me of it all. How you and Anthony shared not only one but a few dances at last nights ball. How you continued the one thing that you knew would hurt me. How you still went after my brother when I specifically begged you to not," Eloise continues her words fast and rambled, her voice hurt and weak.
"Eloise please, you don't get it Anthony and I-"
"But the worst part of it all is the fact that I didn't even learn of this from Anthony or anyone else in my family. I had to learn from a friend. A real friend who will tell me when I am being betrayed. I real friend who will tell me as things happen,"
"We were going to tell you Eloise, we just needed to figure out how," I stutter.
"Well how long were you planning on waiting? It couldn't have been long, I am sure Lady Whistledown will be sure to publish a statement about your dance in her paper. Were you planning on letting me simply figure it out that way?"
"No, Eloise, I don't know. But I can't loose you and I did not mean to hurt you,"
"Oh really? Well it seems so, until Penn told me of the news I was quite happy with being allowed to stay home from last nights ball. But now I see that it was just a heist,"
"Eloise please! Don't hate me for this. I can't control who I love! Just how you can't control who you don't love. As much as you are headstrong and independent and as much as I wish to be so I am in love with your brother. I know he might not love me back as much as I love him but I could not care. He has feelings for me, I can't say how strong but I know they are there. I love him and I know he loves me. Why can't you just be happy for me?" I reply in quiet yells close to cries.
With that a few minutes of silence pass. There are no tears just hurt expressions and emotions slowly healing.
"I don't hate you," Eloise finally replies, "I want to, desperately, but I don't,"
"I am so glad," I reply relief rushing through my veins.
"But that doesn't mean I forgive you, not now anyhow. There is nothing I can do over the matter of you and my brother. I was just trying to protect you. But you will do what you will,"
"I hope someday you can forgive me Eloise. And I hope that you can still see me as a friend. I certainly still see you as my friend,"
"Well that's good to know," Eloise replies, "I don't know what else to say, so for now I must leave. Maybe we can have another conversation soon,"
"I would like that," I reply, "I hope that conversation comes soon," I smile before turning back towards Matilda.
"Are you alright Miss?" Matilda asks as we continue to walk home.
"Yes, I am as well as I can be," I reply keeping up my diamond smile, "Now let's get home,"
With that I am left lost in my mind once more. I don't think Eloise hates me, not anymore. I know she is hurt but I do not believe that I need to be afraid of her any longer. I still see her as my friend, I don't think she could harm me even if she wanted, she is too kind deep down.
As for now my mind needs to worry of her brother. Somehow I need to figure out a way to help Anthony break the new of his proposition to my father. For now I need to worry of that issue and that issue only.
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Hi, sorry that this chapter is just a little bit shorter than usual. I still hope that you enjoyed it. More chapters should be coming soon, I can't wait to continue and wrap up this story with all of you guys. And I would like to thank you all for over 15k reads, thats insane. As always comment and vote, thank you!