Some of you asked for a little throwback moment from the day they took Maya in, so I thought, why not make a whole chapter about it? So this is a small throwback chapter for you :)
Five months ago
The same goddamn alarm woke Katya up at six, blaring through the room too loud this early. She groaned and pressed her face into her pillow. But it only took her a second to realize something was wrong. It was too cold under the sheets and the alarm wasn't shut off, which Natasha always did.
Lifting her head and glancing at the left side of the bed, Natasha was indeed nowhere to be seen. Katya's heart fell as she reached over to slam the button on the alarm. Normally, they would lay for a couple minutes in the warmth and comfort of the bed and each other, slowly waking up. But Katya had no reason to do that now, because Natasha only left bed before the alarm for a couple reasons:
She had a nightmare, she had never fallen asleep in the first place because she was stressing about something, or she had to use the bathroom. But no light shone from underneath the bathroom door. If it wasn't any of these things, she would always just lay with Katya until six, because it wasn't pressing.
Wiping the sleep from her eyes, Katya trailed down the stairs. ''Babe?'' No answer. And no noise in the house either. She tried not to worry, but her heartbeat spiked on its own. If Natasha had gone for a run or something like that, she would have left a note. But there was nothing on her pillow or the kitchen counter.
A bit panicky, she walked through the house. One room after the other was empty, so Katya quickly established that Natasha wasn't inside. Maya's room, which was at the front of the house, was Katya's last stop. And she turned to leave when Natasha wasn't here as well. But through the open windows, her eye fell on something by the lake.
A breath of relief left Katya's lips, and she smiled softly at her wife's figure on the edge of the dock.
On her bare feet, in the light of dawn, Katya jogged down the stairs, out the front door and through the grass they desperately needed to mow.
Her feet made no sound on the wooden planks. The planks which were freezing, because it wasn't summer, it was still more dark than light out, and a cold breeze skimmed over the lake. Katya wished she had wrapped up in a coat, but there was no way she'd go back now.
Natasha didn't startle when she spoke up, indicating she knew she stood there.
''You scared me for a second.'' Katya's voice was gentle and she had a soft smile on her lips when she sat down next to her, dangling her feet just above the water. The look on Natasha's face didn't surprise her, but that didn't make it any less sad. Something was on her mind, and it wasn't anything happy.
''Is it six already?'' She questioned, only glancing away from the lake to see Katya nod. ''Sorry, I didn't realize.'' How long had she been out here already? She wasn't shaking, but must be cold to the bone.
Katya wrapped her fingers around the edge of the wooden planks, watching the reflection of the sky in the lake. Beautiful colors bounced off it, mixing with the black of the night. Katya sometimes wondered if any of the stars she saw were close to the alien planets she had been on.
''Why are you out here this early? What's on your mind?''
Natasha shrugged, trying to play it off. ''Just nervous I guess. It's not every day you adopt a child,'' she muttered. Her hair softly blew in the wind, but Katya was pretty sure she braided it last night, so she must have pulled it out to run her hands through it. A nervous tic she had herself as well.
''I'm nervous, too, you know,'' Katya whispered, looking at her side profile. ''But it's all for nothing, because the last thing I'm worried about is you not being the most amazing parent ever. I've seen you with Clint's kids.'' She bumped her shoulder with her own gently, causing Natasha to finally look at her and notice the genuine smile on her face. ''Don't doubt yourself.''
Natasha threw her a faint smile back. ''I just can't believe we're finally getting that family we were talking about when we were fifteen.'' It looked like she felt a bit better, until another thought popped in her head and she looked at her hands instead. ''Before we knew we would never have kids ourselves.''
Katya's heart broke at the sheer pain in that sentence, and she finally took one of Natasha's freezing cold hands in her own. ''I'm sorry that was taken away from you. I know how badly you wanted to have your own.''
She had never felt that same pain Natasha felt on his subject. Of course it would have been nice to have that option, and of course she was mad that others had made that decision for her, but having her own kids was never that much of a wish or priority. Not like how badly Natasha had always wanted it.
Tears had gathered in Natasha's eyes, but she acted like they weren't there, turning to Katya with a smile. ''I learned to live with it.'' Her hand gave Katya's a squeeze. ''But thank you for wanting this with me.''
''I would have stolen a baby from a hospital if that's what it took to fulfill this wish,'' Katya joked softly, earning a sad laugh that sounded more like a sob. It was the truth, though. If Maya hadn't come on their path, she'd have done whatever it took to get their own family. Legally, of course.
''It feels like life will finally be complete after this,'' she added, more seriously. And Natasha nodded. It did feel like that. Like they had finally gotten to their end destination. Like this was it. After this, they could want nothing else.
Katya let out a sigh after one last glance at the lake and her wife, who looked a lot better than before. Smiling, she patted her leg softly. ''Come on, you're freezing. Let's get a hot coffee.''
Natasha smiled in gratitude and accepted the hand Katya offered her. She had no clue how the brunette even managed to have a good night's sleep with what was on their schedule today. The one moment they had been looking forward to ever since Katya announced on their beach trip that Maya was up for adoption and could be theirs soon.
Both of them had laughed in disbelief and shed a few tears, and every time they stood in the purple room with the white furniture and the new laminate, they couldn't believe their dream of having a family of their own finally came true.
Their careers over, the Avengers scattered over America, and the Russians finally living the simple life. Or the ''boring'' life as Natasha liked to call it. No missions, no guns, no fighting, no enemies. Just them.
Natasha was too nervous to drive to the orphanage herself, so Katya offered to. Lots of kids were picked up by family after everyone came back because of the Snap. So the orphanages were almost empty, and Katya's work there was done. She gave the kids a semi-normal life those past five years, and now they had to get used to life being as it should be.
Some kids came in when they were just a few months old, so they didn't know any better than that half the population was gone. They'd have to get used to this 'new' world. Probably even Maya, who was only four when everything happened. She probably didn't remember life before the orphanage, or what it was like to have her own bedroom. But very soon, she would.
Katya didn't try to talk to Natasha on their way there. The redhead was lost in her head, staring out the window. The only sign that she was nervous was her hand playing with the zipper of her open leather jacket.
Maya knew they were coming today, and when her supervisor Lisa told her Natasha and Katya were wanting to take her in, she had looked a bit confused but nodded quickly after they explained what that meant. She knew her family wouldn't be coming back for her, but at this point, she hardly remembered them. And ever since Katya started visiting weekly during those five years, they formed a bond.
''Ready?'' Katya asked when she parked on the empty lot and shut off the engine.
''Yeah,'' Natasha breathed, not too convincing, but she took off her seatbelt and quickly opened the door before she could think about it much longer. She let Katya go in first, swallowing her nausea. Lisa waited for them by the reception and led them to her office. And there, on a chair that was much too big for her, sat the nine-year-old with the bright red hair, only one bag by her feet because that's all the stuff she had.
A smile broke out on her face when she saw who walked in, and Natasha completely forgot about her nerves. All she knew was that this was her daughter and that nobody could tell her any different. Ever. And she'd do whatever it took to protect this girl and give her the childhood she never had.
''Hey. Do you know why we're here?'' Natasha asked, sitting into the chair next to hers so she didn't tower over her.
Maya nodded, her hands playing with each other in her lap. ''I'm going with you. To live with you.''
''You're still okay with that?'' She had asked this many times, but the last thing she wanted was to drag Maya out of here against her will. She could still say no. And even though that would break the women's hearts, they'd respect her wish.
But to their great happiness, Maya nodded swiftly, her curls bouncing up and down.
''Alright then. Let's go.'' Natasha stood from her chair, glancing at the small bag by Maya's feet. ''Do you have everything?''
''I think so.''
''Great.''
Katya's heart almost burst of happiness when Maya stood and grabbed Natasha's hand. She didn't care that it was full of scars or was so calloused from the guns and knives she had been holding her whole life. At that moment, she just saw her as someone who would keep her safe and take her to her new home. Her forever home.
Natasha didn't know how to react. She froze for a second out of pure surprise, but then wrapped her fingers around Maya's hand tightly and smiled down at her. With the color of their hair and eyes matching this closely, nobody would ever know she wasn't her real daughter.
Katya didn't try and interrupt their moment. Instead, she turned around and walked in front of them, back to the car. All the paperwork had been signed a couple days ago, so they were good to go.
Maya didn't talk much. She silently walked next to Natasha with her hand in hers, too excited or maybe nervous to speak. She'd open up eventually, after she got used to life at home.
''Can you do the seatbelt yourself?'' Natasha asked when she opened the back door of the car and Maya climbed in. She nodded once again, reaching for it and with a bit of trouble, pulling it across her chest and securing it. The Audi was brand new and the backseat hadn't been used at all.
Katya started the car when all three passengers were on board, glancing in the rearview mirror to look at her daughter. Her daughter. ''I hope you're comfortable, because this is going to be a long ride.''
Maya's wide eyes found hers. ''Where are we going?''
''The house is around twenty minutes from New York. It will take us...'' she eyed the GPS. ''Four hours and sixteen minutes to get there.'' Usually, Katya would speed just a tad, but not with a kid in the backseat. No, now she drove exactly the speed limit and checked her mirrors more than she had ever done before.
''What does it look like?'' Maya continued her questioning as they pulled out of the parking lot. She probably felt a lot of uncertainty right now.
''It's not that big but big enough. All wood with a porch in the front. A beautiful lake with a dock. It's remote but not in the middle of nowhere,'' Katya answered as thoroughly as possible. ''Does that paint you a good picture?''
''What color is it?''
Katya hummed in thought. ''Like a grey-ish white. It's not new, but we renovated the interior enough so it feels new.''
Maya didn't ask any more questions after that, because her surroundings distracted her. She hadn't been outside D.C. in five years, let alone traveled this far. Her wide eyes took everything in. And to her credit, she looked excited and curious and not afraid.
They had to stop about halfway through because Maya announced she had to use the bathroom. So they stopped at a gas station, and like before, she took Natasha's hand on their way there. The woman guarded the stall with the most protective glare Katya had seen in a while, the brunette shaking her head with a smile at how cute it was.
In the small shop, they let Maya pick some snacks with the promise that she won't spill it all over the expensive leather seats. Satisfied, she chewed on it in silence, going back to staring out the window or hum along to the songs that played through the radio.
Both Russians just glanced at each other and the girl in the back from time to time, still expecting to be in some sort of dream and that this wasn't real. It was hard to let themselves be happy, because with their life, something always went wrong eventually. However, Katya had a feeling they would be fine after this. Nothing standing in the way of this happy ending.
After a torturous long drive, Katya pulled up at the house and parked next to a huge tree on the side of the driveway. ''We're here.''
Maya perked up and studied the house, a wide smile forming on her lips. Quickly, she unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out the car as soon as Katya opened the door. The girl turned in her spot, taking everything in. The large trees with the bristling leaves, the lake with its wind-made ripples, the silent house with the small porch.
''And? Do you like it?'' Natasha asked. ''It's very different from the city.''
In their minds, it felt like an eternity until Maya nodded and turned to them. ''I love it. It's so quiet.'' Typical comment of someone who lived in a city their whole lives.
Natasha chuckled, in her left hand Maya's bag. ''That will take some getting used to. We can walk around the neighborhood later if you want to, but how about the house first?''
''Okay.''
Instead of two pairs of footsteps, three now climbed up the porch steps and walked through the front door. And it would stay like that until Maya left the house to go to college. Katya tried not to think about the limited amount of time they had with her.
''So, kitchen,'' Natasha started the house tour, and on Maya's face, they could see she took it all in. She was smart and wouldn't need a lot of explaining. ''We usually eat breakfast and lunch at the counter and dinner at the table. The living room is through here. Toilet. Stairs, obviously.''
''Obviously,'' Maya chuckled. She was about to follow Natasha up when her eye fell on something to her left, something black and furry that was asleep, like usual. A gasp left the girl's mouth and she ran over to the chair, crouching down and slowly reaching out to pet the animal. ''You have a cat?''
Katya laughed. ''Did I forget to mention that? That's Liho. You can pet her if you want to.'' So she did, carefully and with an adoring smile. Yeah, they'd be best friends.
Upstairs Natasha threw their bedroom door open, revealing their king-sized bed and otherwise a very plain room. They didn't like too much stuff everywhere and weren't big on decorations either. ''This is me and Kat.''
Maya walked in, turned on her heels again and also peeked out the window that looked over the back yard. She was a silent type, like the two women by the door were as well. Taking everything in before speaking.
''Why do you have a nightlight?'' she asked when she saw the small thing in the socket next to the door.
''Kat's afraid of the dark, and I'm not such a fan either.'' Natasha smirked, and Katya prepared for a joke. ''Besides, if she falls out of bed, I can find her easily.''
Katya sent her a light glare. ''I never fall out of bed. The only reason I do is if you accidentally push or kick me in your sleep.'' Which never happened. She had no clue where she had come up with this. But Maya liked it, liked their teasing. She giggled and pushed some hair behind her ears.
With an innocent raise of hands, Natasha backed up into the hallway and beckoned Maya over. ''Alright. Let's see your room.'' She opened the door with Maya's name on it, and like before, the girl walked in and slowly turned in her spot, judging everything. ''We tried our best.'' Natasha's teasing tone was gone. She was back to being nervous now.
Katya joined her side. ''I hope you like purple.''
Maya was too lost in her head to answer, walking to the closet and pulling the doors open.
''We'll go shopping soon. It's better if you go with and try things on,'' Natasha chimed in.
''Nat picked out the bed. If it's not to your liking, it's her fault.''
''It's perfect,'' Maya cut off their insecure rambling with a beaming smile, closing the closet doors and sitting on her bed instead. Her hand slowly trailed over the soft white fabric with the tiny roses on it. ''Thank you.'' And it was perfect, because she could see how much effort and love had gone into making it perfect. Which was all she needed.
Natasha exhaled in relief, a smile breaking through her nervous expression. ''You're welcome.''
''I've never had my own room.'' Maya furrowed her eyebrows in thought. ''Or, I guess I did, but I don't remember.''
Sadness hit Katya like a brick, and she pushed away from the doorframe to sit next to her. ''You deserve it.'' She ducked to catch Maya's eyes, and they lightened up when they met with blue.
Unbelievable that she was now responsible for this human being. Making sure she got to school on time, take her to the doctor when she was sick, buy her clothes, give her good meals. It was kinda scary.
''When am I going to school?''
''Next Monday.'' Natasha perked in from the doorway. It was a Wednesday today, but they wanted to give her some time to get used to the house and change of environment first. ''It's obviously a different one than the one you first went to, but I think you'll like it. It's not that big, and all the teachers we've spoken are very nice. It's on the edge of the city, about a twenty-minute drive from here.'' She had walked up to Katya while speaking, playing with her brown hair absentmindedly while looking at Maya. ''Now, why don't you pick what we eat for lunch.''
They had pancakes, and Katya quickly suspected that might become a problem. Maya clearly loved them more than was healthy, and knowing Natasha and herself, they'd want to make them for her every single day now.
After lunch, they walked around the neighborhood so Maya knew her surroundings. Where the other houses in the neighborhood were, where the different roads lead. And of course, the Russians could tell her a disturbing amount of details about the families living in those houses. They'd done their background checks before buying the property.
When they got back, they sat on the dock for a while, Maya throwing small rocks into the lake that she took from the gravel driveway. But after a while, she got tired and stared at the reflection of the water, watching and studying her new family from time to time, thinking they didn't notice.
Katya had laid down on the warm wooden planks, with her eyes closed and the sun on her face. She could feel Natasha's eyes on her though, which only made her smile.
When stomachs started to grumble, they had fries and burgers delivered to the house to celebrate Maya's first day here. And slowly, over dinner, she started talking more like she usually did. For the first time in five-and-a-half years, Natasha and Katya didn't eat dinner alone.
The TV played some random movie at seven, which they watched together on the couch. Liho had found her spot on Maya's lap, and the girl was thrilled of having the animal there, gently stroking her fur from head to back. Adoration spread through Katya's chest, and she got emotional all over again.
But Liho had to get off when it got too late for Maya to stay up. Thoroughly, she brushed her teeth and put her pajamas on. But when Katya got into her bedroom and got handed an elastic, she was confused, until Maya explained that she had her hair in a braid at night.
So the brunette pushed all the red curls into the braid as best as possible - luckily, she had practice from years of doing Natasha's hair - and tucked Maya in when she was good to go, a stuffed animal in her arms.
''Remember, if you have any nightmares or you can't sleep because you're worried about something, just come and find us. Don't be shy. Doesn't matter what time it is. Okay?'' Katya pressed, tugging the covers up to Maya's chin. Natasha joined them now too, sitting on the other side of Maya's foot end.
''Okay,'' she promised. And Katya saw she meant it, which calmed her down a bit. A first night in a strange bed is never easy. ''What time do I have to get up tomorrow?''
''You don't have to wake up early on free days,'' Natasha smiled reassuringly. Maya didn't have to adjust to any time schedules anymore, like the ones they had at the orphanage. That time was over. ''Our alarm always goes off at six, but that's just habit. You come downstairs when you feel like.''
Maya nodded, so they told her goodnight and went to leave, but her small voice stopped them before they were off the bed.
''Wait.'' She averted her eyes to her own feet, her voice a lot softer. ''Thank you for taking me in. They said my family didn't want to.''
Their hearts broke, and they both had to blink back tears. They knew all too well what it was like when family didn't want you. Natasha cleared her throat and shifted. ''Well, I think they made a big mistake. We want to be your family now, if you let us. Kat and I don't have any family anymore either, but a lot of the time, family is more than who you share blood with.''
Maya stared at her, her brain processing that information. ''The Avengers,'' she concluded. ''That's your family.''
''Exactly,'' Natasha smiled, meeting Katya's eyes briefly. ''They're yours now, too. Which means you'll always have them. You don't have to leave here again.''
~~~~~
Katya exhaled deeply when she let herself fall into the cushions of the couch on the porch, next to her wife, gratefully accepting the beer she handed her. Alcohol free.
The lake was beautiful at night when there weren't clouds. The moon would shine on the surface, and when it was really bright, even the stars reflected in it. This was one of those nights, and Katya enjoyed everything. Even the slightly cold breeze that toyed with her hair.
''What do you think?'' she asked after a relaxed silence and a couple sips of her drink. Her free hand played with the hand Natasha had placed on her leg. This was new, the fact that they had to find quiet moments for themselves now. But Katya liked it. It made these moments more special.
''I think we stressed way too much,'' Natasha answered without taking her eyes off the lake, sipping her beer casually. ''What do you think?''
''That she's adorable and excited about living here, with us. And that you might lose your cat to her,'' she added with a chuckle.
Natasha laughed along with her, meeting her eyes. They held that adoration Katya had seen a lot of lately. It made her feel warm inside, even in this chill weather.
''To family.'' Natasha raised her bottle.
Katya clanked her own bottle against it, repeating the words softly. ''To family.''
~~~~~~~~
A/N: first of all, thank you so much for all your get well soon's on the last chapter. Small update is that I'm still sick so I'll be going to the doctor's tomorrow. I practically haven't eaten anything in a week and I'm nauseous all the time. But I'll keep you updated :)
Second, the first book reached 600K yesterday?? Like, I expected it to go up after the movie came out, but it practically shot up over the weekend. It's insane. Thank you so much for reading and for all of you rereading. There's no better compliment than people reading your books again. It made me feel a bit better :)