"Do you ever think about what you did?" I asked and shoved my hands in the thick coat pockets.
Dreki scuffed at me from his position on the floor, leaning against the icy wall behind him.
"Do you regret anything?" I tried.
"No," he said very calmly. "Regrets are for the weak. I regret nothing."
"So, after all these years here, you still don't think you did anything wrong?"
"Would you? If you had been in my position. Living under an oppressive monarchy that refused to listen. Who had disgraced my tribe and continuously made us all out to be pariahs. Do you regret what you've done?"
"I regret killing Aki Helsingfoss," I said calmly.
"So, you did kill him," he chuckled and tipped his head to the side. "He beat you though. Do you truly regret killing him?"
"Yes. I wished there had been another way. Killing isn't... Pleasant."
He chuckled. "And that will be your downfall. Saying killing is unpleasant. It's weak, Quinn. And you're the king. A weak king."
"It's not weak to say killing is unpleasant. Killing is quite easy. It doesn't take much to take someone's life. All I had to do was lift a candlestick and let gravity do the rest. All you had to do was order someone to do it for you. You can use very few muscles to pull a trigger. If you close your eyes, you won't even have to watch them die. Killing is easy. Living with it after is hard when you're a regular human being."
"Are you implying I'm not?"
"Unfortunately, you're entirely regular. You're not a monster. You're a human with human emotions and human motivations. What drove you to what you did was humanity in its ugliest form, but it was still humanity."
"Did Islo teach you that?" he smirked at me.
He'd always use our first names as if we were all old friends. He knew it irked me. I twitched every time, despite how much I tried to not react at all. I guessed he had very few joys but disrespecting me even now was one of them. I'd visit him once a year. When I toured the country to hear from the people. I wasn't even sure why I bothered anymore with him. Maybe to see if something would change. Maybe it was to face one of the people who had been the cause of so much trauma. To remind myself he was just a human, not a monster.
He was just a human, not a monster.
"Be careful with your sister, Àlvar," I called, as Àlvar played with Sára. The boy looked up and smiled, waving at us from the side of the small pond. We had had it cleaned ages ago and the kids loved to go swimming in it in the summer.
"They are bigger now. I remember when both were small," Barr said and smiled.
We were sitting in the sun, enjoying the summer. Huck had started a new furniture line where long chairs you'd lounge in were the top seller. Mostly for me. And the rest of the stronghold. Having opened up the big terrace in the front for the public, many now using it to spend quality time with their loved ones. A small café had opened up too, so you could buy coffee and cakes.
"I know. They grow up too fast," Islo chimed in. He looked great in his trunks. He had abandoned the top part and was only wearing the bottom part. I did like him in the blue-striped top, but even better when he graced everyone with the sight of his naked upper body.
I on the other hand, kept the top part on. No one needed to see my naked body.
Barr was like Islo, only in his trunks and Huck was like me, keeping the top part on. It was obvious there were two kinds of men. The ones who kept the top part, and the ones who didn't.
"Àlvar is getting smart too. I keep having to advance him in maths," Huck said without opening his eyes. He was lounging in his own invention, clearly enjoying the heat. Tattoos spread across his arms and some peaked up from the collar on the bathing costume, snaking their way around his throat. Undeniably Aatskina.
"I don't know where he gets that from," I said. "Maths was never my thing."
"Mine neither," Islo said.
"He wants to be like his uncle." Barr sat up and waved at the kids, smiling. Then he rose to his feet and looked back at us. "Who can blame him? Huqqa is an amazing creator." He didn't wait for an answer but went down and joined the kids.
Huck had his eyes open now and his cheeks looked darker. And it was probably not just because of the sun.
"You gotta admit, he has a way of saying things." Islo chuckled.
"He does it to embarrass me, I'm sure," Huck muttered.
"I think he does it to woo you. He knows how much you like hearing it." I smirked at the inventor and he rolled his eyes.
"When is Al and Dy coming back anyways?"
I shrugged. "Don't know. They wanted Mikaal to see Kabir and you know how much they love travelling. At some point I think we gotta chain them to this place to keep them here."
"Alvina is working as an ambassador in Kabir too, don't forget. It's not all pleasure for her. She and the empress have gotten quite close," my husband chimed in.
"Yeah, I know. I'd just like to see my sister more." I sighed a little and let my gaze wander around the gardens before settling it on the kids and Barr again. Barr had gone into the water and was lifting Sára over his head bouncing her a little before tossing her in the water. She screamed with delight and swam back to him. He was so great with them both. Àlvar begged to be tossed too, but instead of using his hands, Barr lifted both of them with his mind. They laughed loudly but were cut off when they hit the water.
"Be careful!" I yelled out, and jumped out of my chair, hurrying down to the pond.
"It's fun, dad!" Àlvar laughed, pushing his hair out of his face. "Come play!"
I rolled my eyes a little and sat down on the edge, submerging my legs in the water. "You have to be careful, Àlvar."
"But it's fun!" He pushed himself further away, his legs kicking hard.
I lifted my hand and made a small movement, pulling the boy back to me. I grabbed him and kissed his head. He struggled but not too hard, yelling out to get me to stop. I slid into the water, and stood on the bottom, something neither kids could do yet. Neither were very tall, even for their age.
Sára came swimming towards me, gurgling and laughing, water coming into her mouth because she kept forgetting to close it.
"You're gonna drink the whole pond, little girl," I said softly and hugged her close, placing her on my hip so she wouldn't have to kick her legs. "You're cold as an ice pick! Come, let's get you warm."
I brought her out of the pond and back to the chairs.
"I want ice cream," she said as I put her down on the lounge chair, towelling down her hair.
"Get warm first and then I'll have someone fetch it for you," I said softly, and moved on to rubbing her arms a little. She never got out of the pond until her lips were almost blue. "Or we could just all eat you. You're sweet and cold."
"No!" she laughed as I tickled her little belly. I wrapped the towel around her again and pulled her into my lap.
"I could never eat you. I'd miss you too much."
She leaned her back against my chest and then tipped her head up, looking up at me. "Daddy, you look old."
I burst out laughing and shook my head. "It's because I'm getting old, my love. But your other dad? He's much older than I."
"Don't drag me into this," Islo murmured, sounding like he was dozing off.
"Come Sára, let's go find some ice cream," Huck said and held his hand out. Sára grabbed it and together they walked back towards the stronghold.
Having uncles like Huck and Barr had proven to be the very best thing for the kids. Whenever Isla visited, it seemed like she was more interested in spending time with them than Islo and I, and I couldn't really fault her for that. Barr and Huck were more interesting. They did more interesting things. Huck had set up a workshop within the stronghold where he built all his inventions. And Barr was a spirit.
We couldn't compete and we didn't even try either.
"It was nice today," I said as I got ready for bed.
"Yeah, the kids had fun." Islo brushed his hair and then put the brush down on the bathroom table. "And you looked extraordinary." He came up behind me, draping his arms around me. He rested his chin on top of my head and smiled at me through the mirror. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," I murmured and leaned back against him. "Every day it gets better."
"And you look better every day too. Happier. Healthier."
"It's been months since I had a nightmare too. I'm actually sleeping through the night most of the time."
"I noticed." He kissed the side of my throat and I closed my eyes, enjoying it to the fullest. "You've grown so strong, Quinn. I've loved having the privilege to watch you."
"It's not going anywhere." I turned around and took his face in my hands. "I'm not going anywhere."
"You better not," he chuckled and bent down, kissing me. "Not without me. And our kids."
I smiled and nodded. "How's your leg?"
"It's alright. Not as bad as it has been. The brace helps a lot."
"It's getting stronger too."
Islo nodded and kissed my forehead this time. "Huck did a fine job with it."
"Yeah." I grabbed his hand and helped him into the bedroom and to our bed. Then I went to war with the brace. It was an intricate contraption of harnesses and buckles. But it kept pressure off where it needed to be off, and pressure where it needed to be. It had taken a long time to find the right components, to figure out how to make it work as it should. But now he could walk without much pain. He still had a limp and he had to use his cane still, but the pain was far more manageable. Which was all we wanted, really. Islo had come to terms with his limitations. Kind of. He would still curse out all stairs as his sworn arch nemesis.
I kissed his leg as it was freed of the brace. My husband sighed contently, running his hand through my hair. I moved in between his legs and opened one button after the other on his shirt. Then I slid the suspenders off his shoulders and then opened his trousers. He lifted up as I slid them off him and helped him lift his leg into the bed, tucking him in.
"Will you ever tire of doing that?" he asked as I undressed too.
"Undressing myself? No, I need my pyjamas. You know I sleep like shit without it."
He chuckled and shook his head. "No, I mean... Helping me."
"That's a stupid question. You know I love undressing you too."
I climbed into bed and Islo held the covers aside for me, smoothing them over my legs when I had settled in beside him.
"I'm not gonna thank you," he said then.
"Good. I don't want you to." I turned my head and looked up at him before leaning against him. "You can thank me taking the kids when you need to work. Or when I hand you the gravy at supper. But staying by you, helping you when you can't do something because of your leg. No, I don't want to be thanked for that. Just love me like you've always done, run your fingers over my scalp when I'm scared. Trace my tattoos with your tongue." I chuckled and looked up, catching my husband smile.
"Sounds fair, my king," he murmured and kissed me. I smiled against his lips, revelling in my success and victory.
Life was good. The kids were happy, as was my husband. My sister was travelling with her own little family, having finally found herself. Found peace within herself.
And so had I.
The End.