My day with scar was really good. I do feel better but not normal. When me and scar parted ways for bed I went back to feeling sad.
I took the next few days off college, then those days turned into weeks, and now it's Christmas break. As you can imagine my grades have dropped but I don't even have the energy to care. I have spend all of these weeks with my girls, mostly scar. She has been amazing, she cares so much.
But unfortunately I need my Christmas work, and all the assignments I missed. I have nothing to worry about when seeing the other teachers, but I am nervous for miss olsen. Of course I still have feelings, fuck.
I waited till the end of the last day to go on campus, and decided to meet lizzie last. I left all the students out and made my way in. I have extremely sweaty hands. I haven't talked to her in months, I have ignored her calls and texts and avoided her at all costs. This is gonna be interesting.
Lizzie:"jen?! What are you doing here" she looks shocked
"here for the assignments I missed and the Christmas work"
She quickly grabs the papers I need.
Lizzie:"how are you?" she prys
"ill get those assignments to you as soon as possible" ignoring her question completely
Lizzie:"jen please just let me explain -"
"no lizzie, ill see you after break"
I walk away and she grabs my wrist
Lizzie:"jen I love you" she pleads.
Did she really just say that. I begin to cry
"no you don't get to do that" I release myself from her grasp and look towards her
Lizzie:"do what?"
"you don't get to come into my life, turn it upside down, break my heart and say those words out of nowhere."
Lizzie:"jen"
"you have no idea how hard these past few weeks have been, god I have cried so many tears over you liz, if it wasn't for my friends who knows what state I would be in. And now just when I start to feel better you drop that bomb on me. Where were those three words when Robbie walked in. Where were those words when I was crying on my bathroom floor. So as I said, I'll see you after break miss olsen" emphasis on the miss olsen
I look at lizzie and she has tears flowing from her eyes. I then walk out and make my way home. That was painful, the worst thing I have ever done.
I walk in home and just go straight to my room, ignoring brie and scar in the kitchen.
I close my door and soon after I hear a knock
"come in"
Scar:"what's up?"
"just miss olsen, it's so hard scar" I sit on my bed next to my suitcase I packed earlier. I'm leaving in a few hours.
Scar sits beside me.
Scar:"it's gonna be okay jen"
"I hope so"
She gives me a tight hug and we pull away after a few seconds. I look into her eyes for a split second and suddenly her lips are on mine. Do I kiss back? Where did this come fro? Help?!?!
I quickly pull away and look at her awkwardly
"scar"
Scar:"I'm sorry i-"
I stand up and get my bags.
"uhhh ill see you after Christmas, love you" and I run out the room, say bye to brie and leave.
What was that?? Scar is my best friend, how did it happen, have I been clueless this whole time, I have only ever seen her as a friend. I hope this doesn't ruin things. God what am I gonna do.
It was a long drive home but when I saw my mom it was worth it. Being home always relaxes me, family is everything to me. I get I side and have dinner with the whole family, I hardly ever see them with college. This calms my nerves for the time being anyways....