"𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠."
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eren's pov
it had been two weeks since I aided in beating Reiner and jean's ass alongside y/n, and the strange but relieving reunion between two women who I previously tore apart. I was getting used to calling y/n a friend but I would have rather called her something else.
I saw the trio sitting at a table in the library with the auburn-haired girl jumping out of her seat clearly excited and enthusiastic about something, I stood behind the girl tapping her shoulder causing her to jump at the sight of me. "damn dude don't come behind me like that!" she yelled quickly being warned to quiet down by the librarian.
"what's got you so excited you can't sit your hyper ass down?" I questioned taking a seat next to y/n, "because I'm -," I let my eyes scan over y/n and it was like Sasha's words were fading into the distance; she looked good today. her hair was down and god her side profile; the way her lips slightly pouted when she was so in focus.
"HELLO? earth to fucking eren, eye fuck her in private." Sasha whisper yelled tossing a pencil at my chest, y/n quickly made eye contact with me; she had black pigment perfectly placed on her eyes and strawberry stained gloss coating her lips. "Sasha shut up." y/n lowly mumbled turning her head. I couldn't help but wonder why she looked so dolled up today, not that I was bothered by it.
"what's up with the new look?" I tapped the tips of my finger along y/n's shoulder only for historia to answer for her, "we set her up on a blind date, she's stressed out and needs to be laid or something." there wasn't any joking tone in her voice.
inside I felt myself wanting to scream and clearly, my lack of protest or verbal anger made y/n worried, "historia why would you-"
"have fun and be safe, we're friends you can tell me whatever." I smiled knowing it wasn't genuine and fell silent as I grabbed notebooks out of my bag and tuning out the group scribbling random shit into my notebook.
I felt myself pissed off at the talk of this unknown person y/n was going on a date with, granted we weren't dating so I had no say or right to be angry and tell her it was unacceptable but the mere thought of some random with his hands on her made my blood boil.
I couldn't sit there anymore, "I'll see you guys later." I tried to keep my tone as light as possible putting all my belongings back into my bag.
"you're leaving so soon?" y/n asked staring up at me sadly.
god, don't look at me with eyes like that.
"I have things I need to go handle, good luck on your date talk later." I responded patting her on the back only to hear a soft "okay." as I walked away.
when I stepped out and let the heat beat down on my skin I took a couple of deep inhales, if this was me a while back I would have simply called another girl up and fucked and been done. I wouldn't have cared about the consequence or if it left another heartbroken at my lack of attachment to them but I couldn't even persuade myself to pull that shit right now even if I tried.
I sat at the fountain in the courtyard, the last time I had sat here it was the night I exposed all the things I and y/n had done; thinking back to it I could have been with her if I hadn't made so many mistakes and only cared about having fun. I sat and watched all the students walking with their friends, lovers, and more in the courtyard.
I felt a hand slap me on the back only to turn around to see suko, it had been almost 2 months since I had last seen her and she was tremendously different.
her previously long and jet black hair was cut just above her ear and dyed in a deep blood orange-red, her makeup was earthy and dark.
"Nice to see you're okay eren." even her voice was different and her concern seemed genuine.
I was having trouble mustering up the words to respond, I could only stare.
"damn I know I said some horrible things the last time I saw you but say hi at least?"
"Sorry you're just different now, trying to process it I guess," I responded eyeing her up and down.
"yeah I decided I needed a change, you know what they say the past lives in your hair so chop it off when it's done and over with." she tried to speak in a playful tone but quickly backed down after I didn't care to laugh.
she silently stood in front of me before speaking up again, "I won't bother you again as I promised, I just wanted to see you and say I'm glad you're back and better. I'd like for us to start over one day and be friends but I know that day won't come until you're ready. I hope you know I really do hate myself for what I said to you that night and if I contributed to your o-,"
I quickly stopped her, "it wasn't you, I was unwell before you ever came along or back suko. that night wasn't intentional and I accept the apology, I said fucked up things too that weren't deserved. I'd like to be friends again too with time." I stood up reaching my hand out for her to shake it.
we briefly shook hands but I could hear my name being called out, it was y/n's voice. I quickly retracted my hand as she got closer only to her speak once again in the most removed tone, "oh. sorry for interrupting."
suko tried to cut in and defend me as y/n backed away and damn near sprinted away from the both of us.
I cursed in my head, did she think I was trying to get at suko again?
"eren I'm so sorry I'll run after her and tell her-,"
I shook my head and smiled, "it's not your fault just a misunderstanding. I'm gonna go catch up to her okay? let's chat another day." I waved goodbye before running towards y/n who already seemed far away.
"can you slow the fuck down?" I pulled at her arm as I caught up to her only for her to move away from me as she halted.
"you heard I'm going on a date and you talk to her because of it?" she snarled with a rageful look on her face. I felt my jaw clenching, come on eren don't slip back into it.
"she came up to me and apologized that's all it is. why are you mad either way? you're going on a date with some random and I sat and said nothing." I softened my jaw but could feel the corners of my mouth cracking into a half-smirk.
her face went plain but I could tell in her eyes she was realizing how hypocritical she was really being.
"you're right. I have to go now my date is waiting for me, do whatever you want with whoever it's not my place. see you later e."
she walked away and I didn't have the energy to run after her, not again.
if I was able to I would have grabbed her and told her I don't want another man feeling on her the same I did, I don't want her feelings to fade for me and go to someone else because I wanted her but by her willingness to just write me off at the moment I didn't know what was truly going through her head.
can't you see I want you y/n?
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I sat alone in my room staring at the ceiling wondering what it was y/n was doing with whoever the fuck this guy was, why should I be concerned? she's not my girl I don't care.
yes, you do eren.
of course, I cared but I was set on convincing myself I didn't, I couldn't accept the event, and sure as hell didn't see myself accepting it anytime soon. I texted Sasha hoping to get some information on the two and as to who this mystery man was or even where they were.
Sasha
eren: hey Sasha
is y/n on her date yet? we got into a disagreement but I wanna know she's okay.
Sasha: yea she told me
she's alright they're up at that new restaurant in the rose center.
I bit at my bottom lip shaking my leg slightly, I was stressed the fuck out. this dude is taking her all the way to rose center? who does he think he's trying to impress? I mean I could do much better than that bullshit.
ok, eren back to the mission.
eren: who's the dude?
Sasha: nosey ass in my girl's business!
it's Niccolo from the literature department, dude is loaded and wanted tori to hook him up with y/n.
I lifted my head from the phone trying to recall if I knew a Niccolo, ah yes that blonde shithead. y/n what is it with you and blondes?
eren: ah hope she's having fun.
The truth is I didn't hope she was having a good time, I wanted her happy but not with some dickhead who fiends for books and wears his hair like some knock-off popstar. I talked myself out of popping up on the pair ad yanking y/n out of there but the thought still lingered.
I tossed my phone down on the bed shouting attempting to calm myself down, being awake wasn't doing me any favors because the only thing I could do was picture y/n smiling and laughing with that Nsync-looking asshole.
I turned my body shoving myself under the thick duvet that adorned my bed, I repeated get over it over and over until I fell asleep.
𝐼𝑓 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡, 𝐼 𝑏𝑒𝑡 𝑎 𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑑 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛. 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ ℎ𝑖𝑚.𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 '𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙, 𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔."
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y/n's pov
I couldn't even enjoy dinner and it felt like time was passing by so slow but in reality, the night was coming to an end at a fast pace, a part of me felt horrible I couldn't even remember this kid's name considering he was trying horribly hard to make sure I was enjoying myself.
"Thanks for dropping me off, I'm sorry I wasn't as social and attentive I just had a lot on my mind." I leaned into the car looking anywhere else but his eyes; I knew he was disappointed.
"it's okay, be safe!" his tone remained cheerful but I knew damn well he was probably pissed I couldn't reciprocate that energy. I slammed the door behind me as he drove off quickly, I was at eren's place and nervous as hell to even knock on the door.
the whole time I thought about eren, I didn't mean to make him upset and I didn't mean anything I said to him but seeing suko again brought up feelings of resentment and jealousy.
this is what jealousy feels like in its rawest form?
I took slow strides towards his front door and softly knocked, I couldn't be angry if he didn't wanna answer or wanted me to leave but before I could sit wallow in my feelings a shirtless and sleepy eren answered the door rubbing at his eyes.
"y/n? why are you here?" I loved when he was tired and his voice would slightly deepen and get a hint of raspiness.
"I had my date drop me off after we were done, can we talk about it earlier?"
he nodded his head holding the door open for me, while I walked in I could feel his eyes on me.
"take a seat you know the drill," he mumbled sitting in front of me tying his hair back, his muscles strained as he did. I turned my head away trying to regain my focus, "you were right to be upset with me and I shouldn't have just assumed that you were trying to get with her again. I went on a date and I'm sure that must have stung a bit but to make you feel better I couldn't even keep my focus and he wouldn't stop talking about book-making it was driving me nuts." I spoke fairly fast and took a deep breath of air as I finished.
I turned my head back to see eren sitting back with his legs spread just a bit, he looked godly and looked angry too.
"it's cool," he responded dryly.
neither one of us said much else and I was squirming under his glare, not once did he take his eyes off of me and the tension between us only got thicker.
"I'll go-," I tried to get up but felt eren on top of me and our lips together.
I was beyond shocked but I didn't complain or fight it, deep down I wanted this and I missed it. I just missed him. when our lips finally disconnected eren placed his hand on the back of my neck and put our foreheads together.
"I don't want you to go on dates, I don't want anyone else with you, I don't even wanna fucking think about someone else taking this fucking dress off of you. I don't wanna ever know that you put this much effort in for someone else, do you understand me?" his tone was almost as if he was begging me, "tell me you understand."
"eren if you feel that way then-,"
"then what? make you my girl? don't you see that's what I want?" he whispered tilting his head grazing his lips on mine without fully kissing me.
was he asking me out?
"if you want me eren then I need you to tell me. I need you to tell me you want more than this because if you don't I won't ever believe you otherwise," I responded resting my hands on his chest.
"Please be with me y/n. I'm past wanting you, I need you. so please tell me that you'll be with me because I can't do this anymore." his lips reconnected with mine as he tugged me onto his lap.
I didn't need to say yes because my desire and need for him had said enough.
SMUT WARNING PLS DON'T INTERACT IF UR UNCOMFORTABLE!!
"𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑢𝑠, 𝑖𝑡'𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 '𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝑖 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑑𝑖𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢."
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it was a heated kiss and he lit embers of lust in me, I was his and I wanted him to do whatever he pleased with me because I just needed to know he was mine and that there was no one else who made him this way.
I broke away from him standing up and unzipping my dress letting it fall at my feet, his eyes glazed over me and didn't leave any part of my body untouched; I held his hand pulling him up walking up the stairs into his room. it's funny despite not stepping foot here in so long the memory of his home never left my mind.
when we entered the room it's like the world stopped and it was just us in this world together side by side, he picked me up resting my back softly on the bed; his lips kissed at the skin just above the waistband of my underwear. they were so warm and his hands felt like velvet on my skin, I was on cloud nine.
"I've missed you, sweetheart," he murmured in between every kiss before gripping my underwear with his teeth slowly and seductively pulling them off.
I was already weak under his touch and gaze, eren just had a way of making me completely unravel no matter what it was he did.
"I don't wanna fuck you," I paused internally at the comment thinking he was going to stop, "I want my love to show even if I have you here like this do you understand?" he sternly said whilst holding two fingers to his lips and carefully sucking on them and sliding them into me, I clenched my jaw at the sudden touch, I hadn't been with him like this in so long. "relax babe, let me take care of you tonight." I relaxed my body and held my breath as his thumb traced slow circles into my clit; he knew just how to play me.
"eren please don't tease me, I need you." I pleaded trying to speak in a coherent sentence.
I could hear his low chuckle at my lack of restraint, "I wanna take my time with you. I haven't had you like this in so long it wouldn't be fair if I didn't just take it all in right?" he mocked slightly picking up his pace and slowing it leaving me to rock my hips against his fingers.
"you're needy sweetheart, aren't you?"
I ignored him letting my hands cling onto the sheets that surrounded my body, "eren."
a groan exuded from his lips, if he was gonna play this game of leaving me wanting more then I was gonna do just the same.
I cleared my head completely and pretended as if he wasn't even in the room, I moved his thumb away letting him continue at the pace he was at but let my hands wander down my torso until I was at my clit. I moved at a teasingly slow pace and I knew it was only tempting him to give me what it was I wanted as I heard my name slipping off his tongue like silk.
"you're fucked up playing like this you know that right?"
I let my mouth fall open and my eyes fluttered open to see him staring right at me pulled away, "then turn me playing into a game over."
as soon as I said that his eyes went dark but not like they used to, they sparkled slightly as the moonlight reflected into the room; I felt his head lean down between my thighs and his tongue lick at the folds of me until they met my favorite spot.
he began to hum against me and I felt my body slightly shake, he meant it when he said he wanted to take his time because it felt like everything was slowing down when I felt his tongue on me.
I missed running my hands through his hair and letting it fall between my fingertips, even having him like this again felt different. there were no feelings of just lust like before, he was as gentle with my body as ever and just wanted to have me in the palms of his hands without any ulterior motives.
he wasn't a brown-haired devil anymore, he was a boy that I loved.
loved.
"eren I love you," I spoke in an exasperated tone.
I loved eren and I didn't regret it not one bit.
(AN: AHHHHHHH YALL I WAS SO HAPPY WRITING THIS CHAPTER I COULDN'T CONTAIN MYSELF😫 I've been so badly wanting to finally do the eren confessing/asking y/n out the scene so I had to speed that mf time skip up bc I needed it NOWWWWW! this book is coming to a close in about maybe 9 or 12 more chapters or even less as I am still doing the sequel and want to leave off on a specific place to kick start that book 😁 I hope you guys have enjoyed seeing the pair's relationship develop and grow from the start to now because I've had a hell of a time showing it. thank yall for the recent comments and love it means a lot <3 - vio)