Connor was never the sort of guy that got jealous. He was so used to brushing those insecure feelings away, that he never realised how much it effected him, how much it effected the person he was. After dealing with many things in his life, his trust issues and his insecurities were a big problem.
Connor hated labels, on relationships, sexuality, in general really. He knew he was gay, and he knew he was in a relationship, but he didn't talk about it, he didn't like to. Troye knew this too, he knew everything about Connor! The days when he felt down, to the days when he felt high, Troye would be there, ready to comfort or smile, stay in or go out.
Unfortunately it was a down day, and as much as Troye had tried, Connor wouldn't cheer up, his green eyes gazing to the floor a little to often, and his distant personality showing itself off. Connor was definitely feeling introverted today, to a point where socialising wasn't going to be an option.
"Are you ready?" Troye smiled, as he lurked around the doorway. Connor had been ages trying to find a shirt, making him impatient in the process. They were sharing a hotel room for Playlist Live, and Troye couldn't have been more happy. That was until Connor developed this gloomy mood.
"Do we even have to go? Just go without me." Connor walked towards the door, his new shirt just thrown on, and his hair down, cute but messy.
"Of course we have to go, just for a bit babe." Troye smiled handing Connor his room key. "I just want to cuddle you in bed too, but we have barely seen anyone, you know like Zoe, Tyler..."
Connor smiled at Troyes remark, probably picturing the later night. He felt safe in his embrace, almost like his worries washed themselves away. He never told Troye that though, he didn't tell him much to be honest. It was better off that way, Troye probably didn't feel the same.
"Just an hour?" Connor questioned, his hand intertwining itself with Troye's, as they shut the door. "Just an hour and we can leave okay?" Troye nodded, and placed a gentle peck on his cheek. He knew that Connor was still recovering, the depression still quite evident.
As they got down to the lobby, Their hands parted, they faces both dropping as the warmth from one another left as they lost touch. This made Connor feel more alone, more insecure, and Troye knew it, sending him a sad smile as they walked past some fans.
They still weren't out yet, as a couple anyway. Troye was ready, buzzing to see the reactions. There were enough people shipping it, and he couldn't deny the satisfaction he felt when they caught on to the hints he dropped. As for Connor, he was more sure than ever, that it would be an awful idea. His mind was so preoccupied with the thought of Troyler that he forgot it wasn't real sometimes, even though Troye seemed very much in love with him.
"Awwww my babies have returned!" Connor was brought out of thought by the scream of a British accent. Zoe was running towards them, and leaped on Troye before he even noticed. Troye suddenly hugged back, his smile growing as Zoe pulled him tighter. Connor just stood there, like he always stood there, awkward and on edge, as if no one wanted him.
"And how could I forget my little Con-Bon!" Zoe suddenly pulled away, and leapt into Connor's arms now, Shortly hugging him before standing back to take a look. "Are you okay Con?" She smiled, worry coming across as she studied his features. He hadn't even said hello, he had just nodded.
"Bad day I suppose." He muttered, now looking at the floor, as Zoe put her arm around him. She knew him inside out, and to see him upset wasn't a new thing.
"That's okay, should we go and get a drink? I know Louise wants to see you two!" She said, beginning to pull his arm. Connor looked at Troye, gesturing for him to tag along, but he just shook his head, his eyes diverting themselves to someone else.
"I'm just going to catch up with Tyler." He began, swallowing hard as Connor's face dropped. "I promise I will be back soon, it's just that I haven't seen him in ages."
"O-okay." Connor stuttered, his words coming out muffled as the music got louder. Troye just slipped away, smiling at him one last time, before he was lost in the crowd.
As the night progressed Connor still felt lonely, his clingy nature with Zoe now becoming evident as Troye still stayed away. From the corner of his eye he could see him with Tyler, both of them in tears from laughing so much. Tyler was clearly drunk, and Troye wasn't far off. As for himself, Connor had only had an orange juice, as he couldn't drink, not with the antidepressants.
He hated it. He hated seeing everyone so happy when he was so miserable. He kept that to himself of course, but the thought played on his mind a lot. What if he was like them? What if Troye wanted someone like Tyler? Someone more stable, less boring, less broken. What if Troye didn't want him at all?
Just as he began to stand up, Tanya caught his arm, pulling him towards her. "Where are you going Mr? I believe we have some catching up to do!" She winked, pulling him in for a brief hug. Connor forced a small laugh before shaking his head again. The music was loud and it made him feel dizzy. He had only wanted an hour here, but it had already been three.
"I don't feel great, so I'm going to head upstairs." He weakly smiled, more talking to everyone at the table rather than Tanya. "I'm sorry guys, I'll catch up in the morning Tan, I promise." Everyone nodded, knowing only to well why he wanted to leave. He was their friend through, and of course they were supportive.
"Night Con!" They shouted, waving him off. "See you in the morning!"
As Connor began to walk towards the exit, he desperately looked for Troye. They had been separated all night, and Connor couldn't help but feel rejected, like Troye didn't want him. Just as he was about to give up looking, he spotted him, right in the middle of the dance floor, hugging the living day lights out of Tyler Oakley.
That did it. That pushed him over the edge. Just as Troye caught on to Connor's eyes it was too late. Connor was crying, and shook his head in disapproval. Troye pulled away, shocked at first, and began to run to him, following his footsteps out of the function room.
"Connor!" He shouted, puffing as he leant against the double doors. "Connor slow down." He repeated, his hand now catching Connor's arm.
"Go away." Connor snarled, his back pressed up to the wall as they stood outside. The sun was beginning to set, and the night was quite cold, but Connor needed air, he was fuming!
"Connor I was only hugging him goodbye, I'm sorry I left you!" Troye pleaded, his hand clasping Connor's cold one. Troye had a jacket and a jumper on, but Connor had just a shirt, his arms now gaining goosebumps by the second.
"Just say it Troye, we both know it's true!" Connor shouted, pushing away from his boyfriend. "You love him don't you! You fucking love him!" He began to tear up again, his eyes red and watery.
"Connor, what the hell are you going on about?" Troye questioned, wiping the fallen tear with his jacket sleeve. "I love you, and only you!"
"What about Tyler? What about Troyler? I have seen the way you look at him! You love him, just say it!" Connor sunk to the floor, his back still against the wall, and his cold arms still bare. His whole body shook, not from the cold, but from the panic rising inside of him. He didn't want to confront Troye about his insecurities, he didn't want to confront anyone.
"Listen to me." Troye let out a shaky breath, and scooted down beside Connor. Connor looked up, the fear consuming his eyes as his teeth chattered. Troye took off his jacket, and looped it around his body. Connor didn't refuse, and laid his head on his shoulder.
"I don't love Tyler, and I never have. He is my friend, my best friend, and that is all he will ever be. Troyler is just a thing, a thing people ship for fun. I admit there are a few crazy ones, but the Tronnor shippers are the same, you know it's just as big."
"B-but they a-ll want Tyler with you, n-not me!" Connor sniffled, his face going red from crying so much. "They hate me!" He said.
"No one hates you Connor, and no one could. You are the sweetest, most beautiful person that has ever lived, and I'm proud to be your boyfriend, and I think that I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I mean I always used to hope you were gay!"
"Really?" Connor chuckled slightly, his cold body still cuddled into Troye. "So you do love me?" He questioned, as if he genuinely thought he didn't, almost waiting for a bad response.
"If I didn't love you, would I do this?" Troye smiled, leaning in under the sunset as the stars began to appear. He pressed his lips against Connor's, and they kissed passionately, Connor gracefully accepting. "I love you."
"And I love you too." Connor added, pushing for another kiss. His bad day was slowly getting better, and no happy little pill had the effect of Troye Sivan. He was beautiful, kind, and very much addictive.
"Let's get you inside baby, you're so cold." Troye helped Connor up, and wrapped his arms around his small frame. "I think it's time for those cuddles in bed."
A/N
Sooooooo I haven't updated in a while. Whoops. I'm sorry it's just that with a lot of stuff going on I haven't really had time.
Thanks for the prompt @1Dhappy I hope it's okay? Idk I got distracted half way through 😁 but anyways thank you for the great idea!
Please send me requests and prompts guys! I will try my best to write them! :)
Becca xx