How could one person be so utterly confusing yet enticing in the same way?
Harry. The only man who comes to mind under the list of things that make no fucking sense. Which is a short list to one's surprise, only consisting of things I can't wrap my mind around.
Why did Harry freak out when that random guy talked to me at Chargers last night? I mean I'm used to the casual flirty gestures and I know how to easily deny them, but why did Harry act stressed beyond words. Did talking to another guy upset him that much? Or was it more importantly who I was talking to?
I shake out of my internal debate as I walk into the lecture hall knowing I can't get lost in thought during microbiology today. I need to start working my ass off in this class due to some exams sneaking up behind me quickly.
As I turn the corner to make my way towards the assigned room I have written down on my calendar, lord knows what would happen if I walked into the wrong room.
Again.
Before I can look up from my phone I collide into someone's hard chest, causing my printed notes for today's lecture to fall to the ground. I quickly spitted out an apology
"Shit sorry." I mutter as I crouch down to pick up the papers that had fallen on the floor due to our collison.
"It's fine really, let me help." He states as he quickly gathers the papers, handing them to me as he stands back up making direct eye contact. Shit his eyes are really blue. I mean really.
Where have I seen him?
"Thanks, I'm usually not this out of it, sorry." I utter as I instantly remember our previous encounter during microbiology when I couldn't stop thinking about the one and only. Harry.
"Oh you're uh... note boy! You let me take a picture of your notes from last class." I state in realization as I begin to toy with the small rings on my fingers.
"That is in fact me...note boy..." He trails off sarcastically at his new nickname I just gave him, as he runs his hand through his blond hair.
Shit. What was his name? Peter? Noah? Or was it Cam? Dammit Blake, you can't even remember the poor boy's name for fucks sake.
"No, no your uh...." I draw out trying to sound like I knew his name and wasn't a total stuck up bitch with my head up my ass.
"Jackson." He says confidently, laughing lightly over my struggle over trying to remember who exactly he was.
"Yea sorry I'm-" I interrupted mid-sentence with his confident answer.
"Blake." he confirms as he smirks down at me, instantly noticing my shocked expression.
"Yes, right. Uh, how do you know that?" I question, wondering where he knows me from besides being in the same microbiology class.
I can see he debates on how to answer my previous question as he answers "Oh, I know Kadence, the girl you work with. She introduced me to you a few weeks ago at Chargers..."
"Oh! I'm sorry, I was super busy that night. I feel like I remember." I state, uncertain of my answer, deciding to just pretend like I remember.
The couple nights before Harry fingered me against the lockers during my break.
"No worries, I get it." He chuckles nervously at my response as he adjusts the straps on his backpack.
"Jacklinson apparently has it out for us today. It's supposed to be about pathogenicity." he says squeezing his temples with his thumb and pointer finger out of stress.
"Fun." I say half assed, rolling my eyes at the idea of listening to Jacklinson blab about pathogenicity for two hours straight.
"Uh, I was wondering if you want to grab coffee after class, or uh we can get something else if you don't-" I quickly interrupted his whispered speech not wanting him to go on second guessing his question.
"I would love to. That sounds great!" I smiled, agreeing to meet up with him later.
"Okay, cool." He says, trying to conceal his grin over his excitement over my agreement.
I walked past him, turning my head back to see him as I walked away, his eyes being directly on me as I moved. I quickly smirked at him turning the corner to enter the lecture room. And to my surprise in bold letters the screen reads pathogenicity, meaning Jackson was in fact right about today's lecture.
We take our seats as the professor comes to take his spot in the middle of the front part of the lecture hall. Jackson and I take our seats, settling in before he leans into my ear. His lips were careful not to graze the rim of my earlobe.
"We were right." He mutters into my ear softly.
I laugh and quickly pull out my journal with the label microbiology printed on the top corner and open to my next blank page. I pull out my highlighters and pens getting ready to take genuine notes today.
"Welcome everyone, now let's get started on a subject I know you are all the most excited for!" Professor Jacklinson says sarcastically as we all collectively groan at the topic.
He starts to describe the factors of pathogenicity along with the conditions required for certain viruses to spread through organisms. For once I don't zone out taking notes on the topic giving myself a pat on the back for finally not thinking of Harry 24/7.
I pull out my phone to check the time and see if I had any notifications, I didn't seem to have any new ones from Harry which sadly disappointed me. Why was I so hung up on him? The time shows there should only be about ten more minutes left in the lecture. The lack of messages from Harry since last night has made me more content about going to get coffee with Jackson later.
I finished up my last line of notes for the day, pulling the cap of the pen out of my mouth. Then doing a once over on my notes and smiling at the neatness of them, was when I'm broken from my thoughts.
"Finally able to focus?" I hear a voice behind me startling me as I look back and realize it was just Jackson.
I huffed out a laugh at his statement nodding back at him to acknowledge him. I then gather up my things and start to walk out remembering I was getting coffee with Jackson deciding to wait outside the door for him hoping I will catch him before he leaves.
He happened to have been right behind me when I stopped at the door.
"Are we headed to coffee still?" He asks timidly, sweeping his blonde hair away from his face. It reminded me of the way Harry pushed his curls back.
"Oh yeah, sure." I say, walking with him in the direction of the nearest Starbucks on campus.
"Okay." He follows after me, trotting for a few steps to quickly fall into step beside me.
We make our way to the coffee shop which was only a quick few minute walk. We didn't talk on the way there, both of us stewing in complete awkward silence. The bell that is hooked at the top of the door chimes as we walk through, Jackson sweetly holding the door for me.
"Thanks." I say politely., walking through the threshold and immediately smelling the strong aroma of coffee beans.
"No problem."
The ordering cashier was a few steps away and the menu was in large bold letters above the cashier's head. I take a few moments of scanning the menu before taking the inclination of ordering first.
"I'll have just an iced latte with almond milk, light on the milk." I tell the lady who presses a few buttons on her screen quickly. I watch my order be typed up before she announces the price.
"Three fifty, please."
I pull out the five dollar bill out of my wallet, about to hand it to her but then a hand pushes it back towards my chest.
"I got it." Jackson's voice fills the air sweetly as I look at him. I move the money away from his grasp and handing it to the lady again.
"No, that's okay, I have cash-" I start, but he quickly argues with me.
"Blake. I'll pay." He demands sternly, I was taken aback at first at his true want to pay. Save myself five bucks. Whatever man.
"Oh okay."
The lady behind the register looks bored at our slight argument. She sent a bored glare towards Jackson and waited for him to order so she could add it to the tab.
"I'll do a flat white mocha, hot."
"Fine." She sighs and adds it to our order. "Seven dollars flat."
Jackson reaches in his pocket to pull out a ten dollar bill.
"Keep the change." For a broke college student, three dollars was pretty generous.
I watch him stand tall with admiration as his blonde hair is brighter in the sunlight that is shining through the windows. He was cute.
The only difference was, he wasn't Harry.
And besides, I'm not really into blondes.
We wait at the end of the bar waiting for our coffees to be made. The barista slid our drinks down to where we were standing, giving us a silent nod of the head.
Jackson picked up our drinks and handed mine to me, leading us down to a table. He picked one in the far corner that was very secluded from the rest of the seating area. I didn't mind, I just hope he doesn't get the wrong idea.
"So how's school going for you?" He asks politely, both of us taking our seats. I sip my coffee before my response.
This was always the easiest question for people to ask and I always had the same answer. There was no thought put into it at all, I spit it out quickly like I had memorized it.
"It's good, I love my major so I'm happy with all my classes. Work is where I thrive though." I added the last bit to seem a tad more personal in the response.
"Chargers, right?" He checks if he has the correct name of the club.
"The one and only."
The colored night club lights that dimmed when there was a fight, the endless amounts of alcohol, the peanut shells that got swept by the janitors in the mornings. It was my favorite place in existence.
"I love that place, it's fun to see the fights. The Legacy is chill if you just want the night club experience though."
I've been to The Legacy before with him.
We've done things to each other at The Legacy.
"Yeah, I like The Legacy. I just prefer Chargers." I agree half way with him. However, Chargers brings adrenaline to the table that The Legacy doesn't always have.
"So how do the fights usually go down?" He takes a large sip of his coffee and I watch as his adam's apple bobs in his throat as the liquid travels down.
"Uh, usually one winner, one loser." I shrug my shoulders lightly as my eyes look out the window passively.
I don't mean to be rude, my mind is just other places. He tries to continue on with the conversation as anyone would.
He was one of the nicest people and here I am only giving him half of my attention.
"I just meant like, is it a lot of gore and blood?" He continues on.
His question confused me, I didn't necessarily know how to answer. What was the level of gore that was appropriate to him? To me that was a broken bone or a bloody lip. To Harry that was someone writhing on the floor.
"Depends on the fight." I say monotonically and unenthusiastically.
"Usually that Styles guy seems to beat everyone." The mention of Harry made my attention snap back to Jackson. My head immediately perked up and my posture was straight. He watched my sudden interest in the topic. His eyebrows raise slightly.
I take in his statement carefully, deciding on my answer. Harry did win every time. I don't know how or why, but he did. It probably had to do with his huge, narcissistic ego.
"Yeah," I sigh heavily, looking down at my coffee, "he knows how to win."
"He looks like an asshole." Jackson's assumption wasn't necessarily completely wrong, just rather unfair considering he hasn't met Harry yet.
Harry definitely wasn't an asshole. He could be an asshole. There is a complete difference. Did I truly believe that Harry was a kind soul at heart? Yes. Did he have other issues that cover up his kind nature?
Yes.
When we met the twin girls at the park, the kind nature showed through. I look back on the memory in my head fondly, sometimes when I don't even realize I'm thinking about it, I am.
He was so gentle and immediately did as they asked in order to make them happy. It was one of the very minimal and few things he revealed about himself. His love for children.
The way he watched them carefully, almost as if he was programmed to make sure they don't get hurt, ready to jump in at any second. He explained how he thought their innocence was such a precious thing people tend to look past.
The intelligence emotionally and psychologically of a young child clearly astounded him. He wanted to know so much about them only to be able to care for them truly in the best way possible.
His little interaction with the girls showed me that so quickly I almost missed it. I might miss a lot with him but I analyze everything about his personality that I can, hoping to decipher some of his inner workings throughout that process.
The fact that Jackson was so quick to assume something about a man he knows nothing about only reminds me of myself in ways. The way I was so quick to judge and make assumptions of Harry subconsciously when I first met him.
The way I was quick to believe every rumor that was spread about him without even thinking about the possibilities that they might not even be true.
"He's not." I quickly defend, shutting down Jackson's assumptions harshly.
"Oh sorry, I didn't know you were friends-" He begins to apologize.
"We aren't." I interrupt. It was because we aren't friends, we aren't dating. We casually hang around each other every once and a while, we hook up a couple times, and then he lashes out at me and we are back to square one.
I shouldn't have made assumptions.
"Oh." The pause in his breathing was prominent, he was hoping he didn't upset me.
He didn't necessarily upset me, he had reminded me of myself.
I look back at him with caring eyes, seeing the disappointment and uncomfortable position they seem to be in mentally speaking.
"Sorry, I'm just on edge a bit recently." I apologize whole heartedly. Jackson didn't deserve my snappiness. He hasn't done anything but be nice to me. I am repaying him for the notes he lended me a while back. Nothing more nothing less.
"Any reason why?" He presses.
"I can think of a couple." I laugh a bit under my breath sarcastically. I know exactly what's wrong. I just don't need to tell him about how I had the best sex of my life with a man I met a month or so ago and how we have a completely toxic, non relationship at times.
"Do you want to talk about it? If not, it's fine."
"I'd rather not."
"Okay. I'm here whenever." His offer was sweet and kind, I just didn't want it.
I'd rather tell Harry, except Harry is my problem.
"Do you have work tonight?" He asks, keeping the conversation going.
My work schedule is weird. I get texts from Connor the days I need to come in and the days I don't at the beginning of every week.
"No, I'm off.
My body language goes back to being uninterested.
"Do you want to go out again for dinner?" He wonders.
I don't mean to burst your bubble Jackson, but I'm not into you like that.
Dinner would be too much. I just wanted to go to coffee as friends. Why did he need to complicate things? I immediately became uncomfortable, not knowing how to answer. I tuck my hair behind my ear and clear my throat a little before speaking.
"Oh. Uh, well I would, but I have plans with Anna tonight. We haven't hung out much and I've been looking forward to it. Sorry, maybe some other time." I try and pawn off quickly, hoping he would change the subject.
I don't have plans with Anna.
"That's fine, I get it." He waves his hand with a small smilec shrugging off the rejection of dinner gracefully.
As I look out the window, I spot a man in a gray sweatshirt and black track pants watching Jackson and I. The minute our eyes connect he quickly looks away. He waits a few moments before going in the opposite direction of us.
I couldn't really see his face other than his eyes, maybe I happened to catch him staring off into space at the wrong time. Who knows?
"So you know Kadence?" The switch of subjects to him seems to be useful. I take a sop of my coffee as I wait patiently for his answer.
"Yeah, K and I have been friends for a while. She's great." He sips his coffee as well, his much less full than mine.
"I need to hang out with her more, we really only talk at work."
Now that I think about it, Kadence and I rarely ever talk which is sad. She's super fun to be around and was super welcoming when I first got the job. She was the one to train me and offered to come in early for a few days to teach me some other tricks around the bar.
I sometimes work with Andrew on her days off which I enjoy a lot. He seems to be super nice except I haven't gotten to completely connect with him in a way I could judge his personality fully.
"She's super fun to hang around. Sometimes we travel a bit up north to Silverwood Lake. Her family has a cabin up there. You should come with us sometime."
I've been to Silverwood Lake multiple times. Anna used to take us down there when her family would rent a cabin when we were in high school. That's when I learned to wakeboard.
"I would love that! Do you mind if others come?" I didn't want to intrude upon their outings alone and I definitely didn't want to go without bringing some of my own friends in order to be comfortable.
"Not at all! K is more of a partier then most."
That was true. Kadence loved to party. She got super into conversations with the customers and was overall a super outgoing and friendly person.
"That's great. We should do it later this year. Anna could come with her boyfriend and I could bring H-"
I stop myself so quickly.
My voice skids to a halt as I almost let his name slip from my mouth. I didn't even know where we stood since our fight. He won't talk to me.
"I could bring myself." I finally say as I look Jackson back in the eye with a bright smile, flashing my teeth at the idea of the lake.
"Definitely." He nods, chugging the rest of his coffee.
We both stand simultaneously, he throws away his coffee in the trash as we pick back up our backpacks and head towards the door.
Once we had finished our coffee outing, he walked me back towards the courtyard where we had exited the building originally.
We soon reach the stair steps that lead inside the science building and he stops slowly.
"Thanks for the repayment." He mutters, his feet shuffling like he's nervous.
"Oh, it's nothing. Thanks for the coffee." I wave my coffee drink slightly in the air. The ice beating against the plastic cup.
"I'll see you later, Blake." He gives me a slight smile and turns toward what I guess was his apartment building.
"See ya later." I whisper.
I turn in the opposite direction as him, staring up at the entrance to my favorite school related building for a few moments. Pondering how different my life will be once I achieve all of my goals in life.
I walk back to my apartment enjoying the fresh air. The oxygen filling my lungs with each breath. The outing with Jackson was fun, but it lacked adrenaline.
Harry had a knack for igniting an adrenaline rush within me. The soft touches and the gentle words, then came angry faces and obliterated people.
He was a mental mess with physical immaculateness.
That was the only way I could completely describe him. He felt the need to get my heart pumping so quickly it would surely burst. Jackson lacked that talent.
He was a nice guy I suppose, he was a good friend.
I wanted to use him for that boat trip that's for damn sure.
As I finally reach my apartment, I enter quickly and head to my room to set down all my things. My backpack I had been carrying around all day felt so good to get off my shoulders.
I press my hands to my lower back and bending backwards, cracking the vertebrates as best I can. The pressure between them seems to disappear the minute I crack them.
Just like the weight lifted off your shoulders after breaking off a toxic relationship.
I head towards my room throwing my backpack on my bed as I slid into my chair by my desk. Once I pull out my notes from my backpack I decide while I have a sliver of motivation. I was going to go over my notes from today's lecture. I grab a bright highlighter pulling the cap off with my teeth as I scan over my notes, highlighting the information I needed to study before next class.
During virus infections, disease symptoms arise from two causes...
I continue on for multiple printed pages that I had printed from my computer.
After what feels like hours, I finally finish dissecting my notes and even making a few flashcards for a few subtopics. Then I clean up my area and tidy up my room slightly just for my own conscience. After my long day I finally feel like I can relax as I plop my body on top of my unmade bed, rubbing my temples with my fingers to relieve some tension. As I take a breath of relief it is quickly taken back when I hear a knock on my front door.
I drag myself out of my room fisting my eyes, thankful I decided not to wear mascara today. As I reach for the door I question who it could be, I know Anna should be in class right now but other than that not many people would show up knocking at my door in the middle of the day.
"Anna shouldn't you be-" I cut myself off as I pulled the door open expecting to see Anna just ditching class today when I'm met with a familiar pair of green eyes.
"What the fuck? What are you doing here?" I question as he continues to stare at me in silence giving me no hints as to why he showed up at my doorstep.
He rolls his lips inward, wetting them intensely.
"Someone really does know how to get under my skin."
A/N: I know these updates aren't very regular, but it's summer and I have a ton going on. LOVE YOU ALL!! hope you enjoy and please comment and vote!!
tell your friends about it ;))