I lunge to Occi's side. Everything around her becomes stained with red, including her platinum hair. She glances up at me, her eyes becoming hazier by the second. Drew and Kyan follow my lead, and the three of us surround her. Kyan and I are still in deep shock, but to my surprise, the weight of what happened hits Drew immediately, and his breath hitches in his chest, sobbing heavily.
"Hey, hey, don't cry." She mutters. "I get to be with Tom now." A single tear drops from her left eye, her breath shaky.
"Don't say that, Occi." Drew tells her, his voice swimming in tears. "Don't say that. I can't lose both of you. Please... you're gonna be ok. You have to be ok."
He's right. He's going to have no one, and it's all my fault.
"I killed him." I blurt out.
"Wh...what...?" Drew stammers.
"I killed Tom..." I confess. "I'm so sorry... I... I was seven and he attacked me when he broke into the Aequa and I killed him. I just... I had to tell you that before you... before it's too late."
"Nox, what do you mean... you..." Occi begins.
"I'm sorry!" I cry out, my eyes filling with tears. "I'm so sorry!"
"Nox, you what?!" Drew's eyebrows knit together. "You ki—"
"I'm really cold..." Occi cuts in, and even though her voice is barely audible, it silences Drew instantly.
"No... oh come on... don't die, Occi..." Drew's words stumble out, his attention shifting back to her. "Please don't die!"
"Drew, I should have... picked you..." Her voice comes out as a whisper. "I don't know... what came over me. I guess I hoped that... that no matter who I chose, you'd be strong enough... to live. No one's as strong as you. As resi...lient as you... I... I love you... Please... please forgive me..."
"I... I..." Drew begins. His hand wraps around hers, both covered in blood. Her eyes glaze over and she goes limp. Drew freezes and he looks down at her, forgetting to breathe the moment the realization hits him. "Wait..." he falls over on top of her, shaking her by the shoulders. "Mom!" He screams. "Please wake up!" He grabs her and pulls her close to him, getting blood all over his clothes. "Please, mom... please...!"
"Drew..." I grab his shoulders and pull him towards me. "Stop... stop shaking her. There's no use—"
"No!" He yells. "She isn't gone! She can't leave me! First Tom, now her? Can I ever just have a family? They're gone? They... they left me...?"
"I'm so sorry." I tell him.
"She's gone... All because of..." His sadness instantaneously turns to rage, and his eyes jolt to Elizabeth, who's standing back, watching it all. "Because of you..." He grabs the gun from my hand and points it at her. "You killed her! You took her from me!"
"Do you realize what you're doing?" Elizabeth asks, worry hiding behind her smug face. "If you kill me, there'll be no one to run this country. There will be riots and warfare and many innocent lives lost. Is that what you want? If that is the case, then you are nowhere near as good of a person as Occi told me." Her eyes watch the trigger, hopeful it would stay put.
"I'm not." Drew's steadies his hand firmly on the gun, still and calm, and aimed at her head.
Any self-righteousness left on her face drops away, her eyes widening and her mouth ajar, waiting for the right words to come out. In the end, she only said one.
"Drew—"
And he pulls the trigger.
She hits the floor, followed by his weapon, and then his tears. Silence fills the room and I reach out to put my hand on his back. He pushes it away without moving his eyes from Occi. When he speaks it's as if his words are a dagger twisting itself into me.
"Is it true...?" He asks. "Did you... did you really kill my dad?"
"I..." My heart feels like it's pumping acid through my veins. I swallow and try to steady my trembling breath, chin dipping down. "I did."
"I hate you."
"He tried to kill me!" I yell.
"I hate you!"
"Please listen to me! He tried to kill me, so I had to defend myself!"
"You liar." He stands up. "You're just a little killing machine, aren't you? Who else have you killed?! How many innocent lives have you taken?!" He screams at me. "What's the real reason you were exiled?!"
"Do you want to know why I cover my face?" I ask, jumping to my feet. I yank off the gauze from my face, revealing my scar. "It's because I was a little girl and he jumped at me with a knife and cut my face in attempt to murder me! I would have died that day if I didn't do something!"
"I knew Tom better than anyone." His voice goes deep, dense with tears and hatred. "He's the best fighter I've ever seen. If he wanted to kill you, he would have. A cut on your face? He was probably just trying to scare you away! And you killed him for deciding to spare you."
"He... he spared me?" The already heavy feeling in my lungs becomes even thicker, and suddenly the blood all over me begins to send me into panic. "And I..."
"You murderer! You jumped to conclusions and took his life! I can never forgive you for that! I hate you. I hate you!" He screams, his whole face drenched with tears. "You're lucky I'm not gonna kill you, you get that?! Lucky."
"I'm... I'm so sorry... I didn't know." I feel my body quiver like leaf in the wind, head throbbing. "I was so young. I didn't know... I just thought..."
"Well you thought wrong!" He stands up, picking up Occi's lifeless body and slinging her over his shoulder. "If I ever see you again, Nox, I won't hesitate on my revenge." He slings Occi's lifeless body over his shoulder and runs off, leaving Kyan and I alone.
"Yes, I messed up, but that was nine years ago!" I find the courage to speak. "If you truly cared about me, you'd realize that! I thought you wanted to be my friend. What happened to loving me?!" I cry out, even though he's long gone. I fall back to my knees and let the world become drowned out by my sobs. Kyan, who's remained quiet through all this, sits next to me, his arms around me like a blanket. "They're gone." I murmur. "They're all gone."
"Hey, I'm still here, Noxie." He tells me. "Let's get outta here and get some fresh air, ok?"
"Don't leave me... ever." I stammer, grabbing onto him with all the strength I can muster up.
"I won't." He promises. I hear footsteps in the distance and my head shoots up, trembling. "Nox, we gotta go."
"I... I know." I say. I stand up, my balance wavering. We keep our arms around each other as we run, and if we didn't, I'm sure I'd fall right back down to the floor.
We make it outside, and barrel down the street. We run for about a mile and a half before finding an empty alleyway, leaping into it, and hiding behind a dumpster.
I lay back against the brick wall behind me and try to take long, deep breaths, realizing how shallow my breathing has been. Kyan sits beside me with a blank expression, completely numbed out from everything. I slide my head down onto his shoulder, and the contact shakes him a bit out of his shock.
"That was... a lot." He acknowledges. "I... it feels like a bad dream. I just... I just wanna wake up and be back in that Outside building. Where she's still alive." He lets out a shaking breath. "I took too much for granted there."
"Neither of us knew this would happen." I say. "But I know what you mean."
I stretch out on his lap like a cat, gazing up at his kind, distressed face. His eyes are glossy, and I reach a hand up to caress his jaw, gently rubbing it with my thumb. He nuzzles his head into my hand, closing his eyes.
"Kyan..." I begin. "I love you a lot."
"I love you too, Noxie." He sniffs, fighting back sobs. "Noxie, Occi means a lot to me, but if that was you back there..."
"I know, baby."
"What do we do now?" He asks. "It's just us."
"Started with just us, and ended with just us, huh..." I mutter. "I don't know. We... we made it to the Opulent. We're in the city, and we wiped the data with our information so... pretend we're Opulent people and try to live normal lives, I guess." I answer. "As normal as the two of us can be."
"Well that's not that normal." He stifles a laugh.
"Agreed."
We stay in the alley for a few hours until the sun begins to set, and the streets empty themselves of bystanders. I sneak out and snag some clean clothes from a display rack outside the building next to the alley, bringing them back behind the dumpster, where Kyan's fast asleep, the trauma of it all kicking him into slumber. I decide to let him sleep before making him change, so I sit beside him and gently stroke his hair, admiring how calm and pretty he looks when he sleeps.
Back in the Aequa, there were three main catalysts to avoid to keep yourself from getting exiled. Never complain. Never get injured. Never fall in love. I always thought that, if I did get exiled, it would be because of the first two. I already had the injury, I always complained, but to fall in love...? Love always seemed like a confusing mirage back then, but I've now come to realize that in the end, I was a culprit of all three.