I reflexively accepted the ice cream from Karuizawa.
"......"
But I couldn't come up with the words to keep the talk.
I'm not a talkative person, and I don't even know what kind of person Karuizawa is.
She just gave me an ice cream. That was the extent of Karuizawa's recognition of me.
"Hey."
Karuizawa looked towards me and said in a somewhat unenthusiastic voice.
I stopped standing, and sat on the edge of the bench, sipping my ice cream.
"What is it?"
"......do you feel lonely ?"
The hustle and bustle of the playground seemed to suddenly become more distant.
Not that I dislike it.
"I don't understand the purpose of your question."
"Just answer the question because it's fine......."
I realized that it would be a waste of time to repeat the question and answer here, and I began to wonder which answer Karuizawa was looking for.
"I don't feel lonely. My family travels a lot overseas and I'm basically alone at home."
"And at school?"
"I'm Alone."
"What, you're all alone?"
Karuizawa cleared her throat asked continued.
"Are you having fun now?"
"You mean this ball game?"
"Well, yes."
"If you're asking me if I'm having fun or not, I'm not."
"Why not?"
Then Karuizawa looked me in the eyes.
I could feel through her eyes that she was trying to find out what was in my heart.
It would have been easy for me to brush it off by lying to Karuizawa, but
"I am just an uninteresting person."
Karuizawa's eyelids fluttered open.
"Because I'm such a colorless, uninteresting person that I'd like to disappear from the world."
This world is not equal.it's only looks equal, but in essence it is a container made of unreasonable structures.
"What about you, Karuizawa?"
"I'm ......."
As she licked the ice cream, Karuizawa closed her mouth once.
"I'm having fun. ......"
"Even though you're wearing a uniform?You don't look like you're having fun."
"Everyone has their own way of having fun.We are lucky you don't have classes or anything."
"I see. I guess I'll find my own way to have fun."
As an ice cream nibbler, I ate my fill faster than Karuizawa and got up from the bench.
"What?Are you going to play the game?"
"No, I'm going to bed."
"What?"
"It's such a beautiful day. I thought it would be nice to sleep in a clean bed in a sunny nurse's office."
"I don't think the doctor will let you in."
"The doctor is out for something. I just saw him in the gym watching the game."
"That's just bad thing."
"Sleeping in the infirmary?It's not that bad. Besides, everyone has their own way of having fun, right?"
Karuizawa hastily ate up her ice cream and stood up abruptly.
"I'm coming with you."
"What?"
"They have two beds, so I'll take one of them."
Karuizawa's mouth lifted and she started walking ahead of me.
"What's wrong?I'm leaving you here."
I followed Karuizawa, inwardly puzzled by the unexpected turn of events.
As expected, there was no doctor in the infirmary, nor were there any other students.
The unique smell of the infirmary.
To get rid of it, I opened the window.
Her blonde hair fluttered beautifully in the breeze.
"Ah, nice breeze ......."
I grabbed some medicine off the shelf.
"Don't just stand there, take a seat in this chair."
"What?"
Karuizawa blinked,
"Your leg's hurt, isn't it?"
"......"
"There's no point in trying to hide it. If you try to hide your injury so that no one will notice , someday or the other everyone will notice."
After a few moments of silence, Karuizawa gave up .
"It's not that I was covering it, but..."
"It's still a brand new scar, must have been made today."
"Oh, you can tell that much?"
"Most people would have noticed that."
"No, they don't."
"Just sit here. I'll at least disinfect it."
"Okay."
Karuizawa shook her head.
"I'll do it myself."
"Really"
Karuizawa sat down on a chair, smeared some disinfectant on a cloth and applied it to the wound.
"I'm the type of person who try to heal my own scars."
"Does it hurt?"
"It stings a little."
I also found a bandage on the shelf and offered it to Karuizawa.
"I wish there was something like a bandage that would cover all kinds of wounds."
Karuizawa whispered to herself.
I didn't reply to her words.
A breeze blew through the room.
The bustle outside sounded like a lullaby, lulling me to sleep.
After taking care of Karuizawa's wound, I borrowed a bed from the infirmary.
On the other bed, Karuizawa was lying down.
"Are you still awake?"
I could have ignored her, but I got the vibe that she really wanted to talk.
"Karuizawa is not going to sleep?"
"Yeah, I don't want to sleep."
"Then why did you follow me?"
"Hmm, for some reason?"
I looked sideways at Karuizawa and saw that she was staring up at the white sky.
"More than that, let's talk."
"We have been doing it since a while ago."
"We have, but I don't know anything about Ayanokoji."
"About me?"
"Yeah."
"Why do you care?"
"What do I mean? ....... Come on, tell me."
"......"
"Do you think I'm ...... annoying?"
She turned her head toward me and lowered her eyebrows.
It's not like that. I don't know enough about myself to be able to talk about myself. I just want to know.
"I'm not interesting. Is that okay?"
"Not at all......"
"So what do you want me to do?"
"How can there be nothing about you?"
"I can't help it because there's nothing."
"Lie."
"It's true."
"Then prove it to me."
Karuizawa's eyes were serious .
"Prove it?"
"Yes. You're either an uninteresting person or not?"
"What's in it for me if I prove it?Wouldn't I be miserable?"
"Absolutely not."
"What proof?"
"If you're really that uninteresting, I'll laugh at you from the bottom of my heart."
"......"
"Ayanokoji is going to be a funny person anyway, right?Isn't that a good deal?"
I had no idea what purpose she was suggesting.
There was no doubt that there is something hidden behind her words. But as I had never been much of a social butterfly, I couldn't find the answer right away.
When I remained silent.
"I will never be able to prove whether I'm funny or not, and I've never left it up to others. Are you asking me to tell my story?"
"How about this ... let's go play."
"......"
"Didn't you hear that?To share time together, to empathize, to confirm values."
"No, you don't need to explain the details of the language to me, I hear it. No, it's about me and Karuizawa playing?"
"Yes, we play."
"Why are you mean?"
"What do you mean by "why", ......?"
"Karuizawa and I are talking for the first time today. Isn't it strange for two people like that to suddenly be playing together?"
"Really?Because it takes a certain amount of time and responsibility to determine whether something is interesting or not, doesn't it?You have to look at it carefully and think about it. Then I think it's appropriate. Besides, adults go to a party and play right after sharing a place for a few hours, and I think that's normal, don't you?"
"How serious are you?Now is the time to turn back."
"I'm serious from the start."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
I looked up at the ceiling.
"Will you play with me or will you tell me your story?"
"All right. Okay, we'll go out this Sunday."
"......"
There was no reaction from Karuizawa.
I didn't get a reply after a while, so I turned my eyes back to Karuizawa.
Karuizawa was covering her mouth with her hands.
She was hiding her mouth with her hands, so it was hard to read his expression.
"What's wrong?"
"Uh, nothing, nothing. It's ...... Sunday."
"Yeah. Can I meet you in front of the station around noon?"
"What time is lunch?"
"Twelve o'clock, right?"
"Twelve o'clock, okay. Don't be late, okay?If you're late, you lose a point."
"So it's a point system."
Karuizawa's smiled.
I never seen such a genuine smile.
To be continued...