Almost two weeks had passed. Janvi tried calling him each and every day but he didn't pick up. She sent him messages occasionally. He did see them but he never replied.
Janvi decided to give him some space. It was not as if she had a choice. Her first priority was always to protect her kids. Everyone else was secondary. Even Veer.
She switched through the television news channels mindlessly sipping whiskey. Her doorbell rang and she peered through the peephole.
"Veer?" She opened the door shocked. Her eyes took in his demeanor. His eyes had shadows under them and were swollen. His jaw had a healthy amount of stubble.
He immediately slumped into her enveloping her in a hug. "Are you okay?" She asked wrapping her arms around his back and rubbing it over again and again.
"I'm not." He whispered in her hair. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
He moved away from her and she let him walk inside before shutting the door.
"The girls are asleep?"
"Yeah. I tucked them in just a while back."
She looked at him and he seemed aloof as if he was lost in a strange place. Her heart tugged. Guilt washed over her.
"I'm sorry." She said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
She saw his eyes glaze over and the coldness settle in but he said nothing. "That's fine." He said, his lips pressed.
She felt eerily like he was lying. But she did want to push it. She was in the wrong so she would make it upto him and give him time. She decided ti be patient.
"You want a drink? I was just having some whiskey...."
He nodded and she poured him a glass. He took it and settled on the couch. She sat down on the same couch. Their knees touched as she switched the channel.
"How is work?" He asked her.
"It's alright. I am not doing much from home anyway. How is Sakshi?"
"Sakshi is fine. We fought today."
She choked on her whiskey. "About what?"
"She seems fine. As if nothing has happened and I guess...I dont know...I just snapped at her." He said.
"Oh... But not everyone expresses grief the same way Veer. She has lost her father too and even if she might not show it, she must miss him."
***
"I don't miss him at all." Sakshi relayed to Dhruv. She saw Dhruv giving her one of his tight lipped smile. The one that he gave when he thought she was lying.
Why wasn't anyone ready to believe that she didn't feel sad or any kind of grief over her father's death? Even Veer had fought over it. Which is why she booked a session with Dhruv.
She didn't know whether whatever she was feeling was valid. She felt nothing. Shouldn't she feel something?
She thought she would blame herself for pushing him towards his early death but still she felt nothing. As if there were a gaping hole right in the middle of her chest.
"Okay if you say you are facing no issues then let's talk about something else. How is Siddharth? Is he good?"
Sakshi leaned her elbows atop the table. "I am talking with my lawyer to draw up divorce papers."
"And does he know that you're going to serve him papers?"
Sakshi thought long and hard about it. Well, she did threaten to divorce him that one day after their fifth wedding anniversary party. She wasn't sure if that counted.
"Yeah..I don't think so he knows."
"Maybe, the process will go sooner if you sit and have a talk with him? I mean you're divorcing him so what's to lose. Have a chat and tell him about the divorce and your reasons as to why you're considering a divorce. Just because you marriage had a fall out doesn't mean you both can't be friends. If not friends then amicable acquaintes. What do you think, Sakshi?"
"You're right. I'll talk to him."
Sakshi agreed. Afterall the Sandhinis had invested crores in their campaign. Having the Sandhinis as business partners wouldn't hurt.
***
Janvi was tipsy. She felt a smile creep to her face. A really dopey one. She found Veer smiling at her too.
"I know that look. You're drunk." He laughed.
"I am not. I am tipsy though." She said smiling widely.
"This reminds me of Goa."
Janvi laughed, "Oh I don't remember Veer. I blacked out. I was drunk and you were too. Don't tell me you remember..."
He leaned back on the couch,"Bits and pieces here and there."
"What were you doing there anyway?" She asked moving closer to him. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her hand around his torso. Whiskey made her brave and clingy.
She was expecting him to shove her away but she found him relaxing his hand wrapping around her waist.
"I was partying. I loved travelling." He sighed.
"What do you mean?" She frowned. "You don't like it anymore?"
"I don't travel anymore."
"That's sad"
She felt his arm tighten around her. "It is. Being a politician requires sacrifices."
The whiskey made her feel all warm and gooey inside. Or maybe it was him. It also gave her a lot of courage. She felt like it was the perfect time to tell him.
"I have to tell you something."
She moved away and looked at him. His eyes were full of hope. That gave her hope that he felt it too.
"I am not good at emotions. I come off as apathetic many a times. And it's not easy for me to express myself. Even that night...on the phone. I said that I want you but I meant that I loved you. I love you."
She looked into his dark eyes and all the hope had seeped out of his eyes. His eyes were shuttered. She didn't know what he was thinking. But then he laughed, "Okay.I think it's time for you to sleep."
He rubbed her shoulders but she frowned. Then she felt incredibly stupid for confessing like that. He helped her walked to her bedroom. The was so awkward, she single handedly had ruined everything.
"I have to check on the kids..." she turned towards their bedroom.
"I can do that." He ushered her towards her bedroom. Her head felt dizzy as she slumped on the bed hitting the mattress. She could hardly contain a groan.
Her eyelids were droopy but she could feel his hands wrapping the comforter around her. She sighed. Before he could leave, she grabbed.
"Veer, stay." She could see the alarm on his face, "I mean stay over. Don't drive back. It's late."
"Okay. I'll just check on the girls."
The door clicked close and Janvi couldn't fight the tiredness anymore. A few minutes after she felt the bed dip. She sighed and fell into deep slumber.
***
"Mumma! I can't find my tooth brush. Usha can't too." Asha came running towards her.
"What? Did you check inside the cabinet?"
Asha bobbed her head. Janvi walked towards the girls' bedroom.
Veer had left a while back. While she knew they had slept on the same bed, she found the bed empty when she woke up. She thought he had left.
But the moment she walked out of her room, the smell of tea enveloped. "Veer...you didn't have to. You're a guest here." She said.
She found that his countenance had steeled. Maybe she had imagined it. But he poured the tea in two cups. "That's fine. I needed the tea."
"You should have woke me up." She said taking her cup.
They drank their tea in silence and he told her he was leaving. Janvi stopped him, "Wait for a while, the twins will wake up, you can say hi and I can whip up something."
But he told her that he had to go. She didn't force him after that. She had already confessed last night and maybe he didn't feel the same. The awkwardness was still there. But she was glad he had stopped being mad at her.
"That's strange." Janvi rummaged through the cabinet. She had searched high and low and yet couldn't find the toothbrushes.
"Okay girls." She stood up. "Brush with your finger for today. I'll buy you new ones."
After she had dropped the kids in school. She made plans in her head, she had to go grocery shopping,do the laundry etc. It was a calm day until she realised that a throng of reporters were surrounding her asking her questions about her and Veer.
Panic set in her eyes as she could just hear the buzz of reporters and the mics shoved in her face.
Her heart raced as she walked to her apartment. What happened? How was this even happening? Her day was now ruined but in that moment she had no idea that it would get much worse.
***
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