54 Days Left
"Here we are", Remiul announced as they pulled up to the driveway of where they'd be staying for the next week. The day of the crowning was soon approaching so they couldn't be away for too long. They just had to go for a control of the narrative.
Despite that, the scenery was beautiful. Of course. Green filled the entirety of the landscape along with flowers of pink and yellow. The baby blue cottage stood out against the other colors.
A singular chauffeur, that would double as anything the family needed, was brought. They were all to stay in the small estate together. The minimalistic dynamic was a big change from their extravagant lifestyle. A comforting and humbling one. Like Remiul, and perhaps they all, needed.
As they stepped out a small yawn escaped all of their lips. They had been traveling for nearly two days with few breaks. All of them were relived to finally have a bed to sleep in. It was the middle of the day, appropriate for an afternoon nap.
They had been stretching in silence when baby Asher broke it.
"I'll get him inside and asleep." Arabella told everyone before disappearing into the house.
Shortly after, everyone else followed suit. The cool air hit them as soon as the chauffeur opened the door for them. The stress of the journey, and nearly off their stress, was lifted from their shoulders. At least in that moment. Their goal orientation distracted them from any other thoughts. All they did was disperse to their separate rooms.
Except Remiul.
He recalled just how small the cottage is. There are only two rooms, where they'd already be mildly cramped. Plus the living quarters for the help, but Rem wouldn't imagine stowing away Sam there.
The couch is available, Rem knew. But that was not an option either. He imagined his parents having to be careful not to wake a sleeping Samuel and cringed.
The only appropriate solution is moving the couch to his bedroom shared with Arabella and his son.
"Ellon, may you assist me in moving the couch into my bedroom?", Remiul asked as the chauffeur-turned-butler carried in the last of their luggage. He set it aside in front of the door, temporarily, in order to help the prince.
"Yes, Your Royal Highness."
Samuel stepped out of the way as the couch was carried across the room. His eyes drifted to Remiul's buff arms with his sleeves rolled up. He corrected himself by looking down at his feet and following behind.
The next day was when the activities were to begin. That previous afternoon no one had enough energy to do anything. They awoke at different times in order to eat dinner; a warm soup that sat on the stove on low so it is ready for eating.
Remiul has been the first one up. While everyone else had been relaxing and enjoying their time to sleep in, he was doing the opposite. His mind was torturing him. He had been fine at first, until Sam. Late that night the baby had been crying. Half asleep, Arabella asked Rem to check up on him. Just as he was about to get up from his once dead asleep state, a rustling could be heard from the far side of the room.
Where Samuel had been sleeping on the couch.
Though Remiul hadn't been been fully coherent, he was enough so that he could comprehend the scene unfolding before him: Sam fathering his child. He seemed to be such a natural as well. Ever so gently, Samuel picked up the crying child and brought him in close. He swayed side to side, patting Asher on the head. Remiul had been hit with all the feelings he had been running from. He could no longer avoid it. He had to be with him but how?
Groggily, Remiul sat up in bed and brushed away his thoughts from last night. They could wait.
What captured his attention was the piece of paper on his bedside table. His first instinct was to believe it was from the butler. Perhaps a message about breakfast or something of the sort. But, of course, it was not.
Meet me at 12,
You'll know where to find me.
Before Rem could digest the note, Arabella stole his thoughts.
"What are you up to?"
Panicked, Remiul shoved the note into his mouth and wetted it as much and as fast as possible, so it took up the least amount of space in his mouth.
"Rem?"
"Nothing Arabella.", he replied, turning to face her.
"Ok. I'm going to go get breakfast.", she left the room without giving him a kiss.
All the while Sam was still overtaken by darkness.
Not long after, everyone was awake and at the table eating breakfast together. With such a lovely day, as they had not been seeing in their dark and cloudy hometown, they ate outside.
"What did you have planned for today Remiul?", the queen asked in a particularly cheery tone. The past few days have been spent ignoring him or snapping at him. She still held too much hostility in her heart but needed to be more tender. So Remiul would open up to her.
"With the bright sun and light wind, I figured today would be a wonderful day to do some strawberry picking. There's a farm just a small walk away with a great deal of ripe ones. Then, we can have a picnic. There should be a spot we can sit at", Rem reciprocated his mother's fond attitude.
"That sounds perfect. May I have a word with you before we go?"
Remiul had not wanted to speak to his mother alone. There would only be one reason in which she wanted to; Sam. As much of a problem it is to have to get his mother off his back, the further struggle he was having was talking about Samuel in the first place. His recent realization, one of many over the past few months, still left him dumb struck. Sure, it should have been obvious that the relationship they had was leading to wanting to be with him. Remiul had just never thought about it in such a black and white way. It had always needed to be a secret while he was with his wife. Any other option had been completely out the window. The closest he came to thinking of being with only Sam was daydreaming. How could he tell this to his mother? He couldn't.
"We'll catch up with the rest of you."
And just like that, him and his mother were alone. They sat on the patio chairs that had lightly been covered with pollen from the spring. Remiul's eyes ventured over his mother's dress. It was a light green that blended in seamlessly with the vegetation they were surrounded in.
"What's going on, Remiul? Look at me.", the queen urged her son. She could see the shame from the way he looked down and at everything but her. His eyes were sunken, not wide eyed as they once had been. Before his mother caught him with another man. She pondered if he had been especially happy during his rendezvous with Samuel or if she had just imagined it. She questioned if they are in love but she already knew the answer, that much she knew about her son. What she didn't know is if she hoped she knew her son more or that he is completely in love with his wife and she knows nothing of him.
As his eyes met her own she could only see more of his sorrow. Pleading eyes and wrinkles that had not been there before were now very visible. A frown was sitting on his face.
"I...", Remiul hesitated. He wanted so desperately to tell her the whole truth. About every dreamy night he'd spent with Samuel, falling in love and having adventure. He wanted someone to participate the happiness he had with him.
"Please Remiul. Please."
"It's nothing. We're nothing.", he decided against it. What he'd been doing was not celebratory worthy. It's disgraceful.
"Come on. We both know that isn't true."
Remiul couldn't help but remember how his mother was his best friend. Before all of this, before he'd ever met Samuel. She was always in his corner, backing him up. They talked about everything; his progress in pollo, worries of becoming king, every step of his relationship with Arabella, having a child... and now he doesn't remember how to talk to her. Even then, however, he had always done what she wanted. It had always been safe because he never defied or disappointed her. Even then, he had a sensor. So had it been real? Maybe it could be now. Maybe it has to be.
"Are you gay Remiul?". At this point she could no longer step around it. She needed to know.
"I love Arabella. I do."
"You can love her but are you... are the two of you meant to be. Is she who you wish to spend the rest of your life with? A women?"
"No.", Remiul said quietly. Guinevere barely heard him but she didn't really need to. She knew what the response would be and he had just reinforced it.
Remiul bursted into a ball of tears. All the pain he had been holding back came rushing to the surface; his fear of becoming king, his father dying, his loss of love for Arabella, the growing love for Samuel, the anxiety of anyone knowing about it, being gay... He thought he had been handling but he couldn't have been more wrong. Ignoring the problem had made it grow into a monster. Once the tears started to flow they were unstoppable; like a broken dam. He couldn't even breathe.
Seeing her son in this state, she leaped over to where he was sitting. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around him like he was a child again.
"Shh, shh it's ok. It's ok, Remiul.", she coaxed him as she rubbed his back. Her heart ached for him. Suddenly, none of the mistakes mattered to her. Seeing her son in pain erased all other thoughts and concerns. All she knew was she needed to be there for him.
"I-I-", Remiul kept trying to formulate a sentence but couldn't. Each time he tried to he needed to suck on a breath or sniff back the snot to prevent it from coming out of his nose.
"Don't. Just let it out."
After a few minutes of crying, taking in air, and dealing with his nose, Remiul was finally able to gain back some of his composer.
"Mom I'm sorry.", Rem had been more repentant in this moment than he had ever in his life. His mother now knew how much of a disappointment he really is. There's no going back to her perfect son with the perfect life he thought she wanted him to have.
"Don't apologize. It's not me you should be sorry to. It's Arabella."
"Shouldn't you be mad at me? I'm gay mom", Remiul finally opened up about it. The first time he said the words. He barely noticed in the heat of the moment.
"Honey you can love who you want to love. It's just going to be more complicated now."
"I can't be. You know that.". She knew he was referring to himself being gay.
"Then what do you want to do?"
That was the golden question. At least he knew his mother accepted him.
The day had gone smooth enough. Remiul's mother got the hint he loved Samuel when he came out. Knowing this, she tried to pay Sam more mind and keep him from Remiul. She didn't want to put her son in an awkward position. At least, not for the day. She would give him some time to figure out what he wants to do, as he asked. She had allowed it because it was the closest they had been in a long time. She wanted him to have someone to confide into. Though he was making so many mistakes, she knew he'd fix it. One way or another. Plus getting to know the boy who stole her sons heart wasn't so bad.
She wasn't able to learn much. He was heavily guarded but just open enough to not come off as rude. She respected that but wished it could be different. She had always been so close to Arabella. She loved being close to who Remiul loved and now it was Samuel. She understands how this cannot be their reality but hoped one day it would be.
Samuel was confused and scared with the encounter. The last time they had been in such close vicinity, the queen had been furious with the actions of him and her son. Suddenly she had been speaking of how beautiful the strawberries that he was picking, as if a professional, and discussing her mother's recipes for strawberry deserts. He had been tempted to offer his own stories of his fathers delicious homemade jam but couldn't work up the courage to speak more than a few words. He tried to make up for it by listening keenly and nodding appropriately. Even smiling and laughing as genuinely as he could at the right times.
It was nearing 9pm when Arabella decided to head to bed. Remembering the note, Remiul hoped she will have fallen asleep by the time midnight rolled around so she did not notice both him and Samuel gone.
Before going off to bed, she handed over Asher to Remiul. He took him happily.
"Go fish", Guinevere said in response to Oliver asking her for an ace. His hand reached into the pile of cards, pickling one at random. He took a small look at the card without making a face and added it to the cards in his hand.
At her turn, she asked Oliver for a 2, which she already knew he had.
"Rats.", he exclaimed under his breathe, making Rem and Guin let out a small chuckle. Samuel smiled in response to the humility of the king that he had not expected. He thought maybe he should have, considering his son is one of the most real people he knows.
Ending the game, Samuel asked the king if he had an ace. He playfully rolled his eyes before handing over his last card to the young man.
They each counted the matching cards they had , except the king who knew his few pairs did not compare to the others. After doing so, they concluded the winner to be Samuel.
"We'll done.", the queen congratulated him.
"Thank you, your majesty."
With that, the king and queen decided that would be a good stopping point in their games. They wished them a good night before disappearing to their room, hand in hand.
Remiul turned to Sam.
"Should we...", Remiul looked to the patio door then back to Samuel.
Samuel nodded his head.
As Rem followed behind Sam he glanced at the clock on the wall. It had barely been eleven. Close enough to the original plan. He had just hoped Arabella was fast asleep. Considering he still had Asher, he could nearly guarantee she was.
With his free arm he slid the door closed.
During the day the wind had been light. Now, it was whistling like the howl of a wolf. It reminded Remiul of one of the first nights he'd spent with Samuel, seemingly forever ago. So much had changed.
Remiul took off the coat he'd been wearing to wrap it tightly around Asher, so he didn't get too cold.
He joined Samuel at the swinging bench. Every thought was chanting at him to sit as far away as possible but his legs carried him as close as he could; only leaving a few inches between the two. Samuel seemed to be taken back by the choice but he was anything but upset about it.
They didn't look at each other for a few minutes. Instead, they examined the nature that surrounded them. At night, it was no longer bubbly and happy. The lack of light was apparent everywhere; a dark shadows leaving everything a shade of black. Figures seemed to be lurking around. Probably a deer or two.
Remiul was the first to speak.
"I told my mother."
Sam spun his head quickly to look at him, even if Rem still refused to look at the man beside him.
"What exactly?"
"That I'm... I'm gay. I figure she knows you are really who uhm. Who..."
"Yah. I guess that explains today."
Remiul turned his head to face Sam. They were now looking into each other's eyes.
"She was talking to me. A lot. And she was really nice. Not what I'd expect considering..."
"Yah. Me niether."
"So I'm guessing it went well? What did she say?"
"She said I could love who I want to love."
Silence fell upon them again. The l-word haven't been a topic of conversation between them. They both knew how they felt about the other. They both believed they were in love but they would never say it to the other. Now the implication of what his mother said hung in the air.
"Why did you want to meet?", Rem asked, trying to change the subject away from love.
"I'm sorry. That was lame. I'm happy for you. I'm so, so happy she accepts you.", Sam smiled at Remiul. Without thinking, he placed his hand on his leg, just above the knee. For a split second he was self-conscious about it but that faded when Remiul smiled back. It was the most authentic, whole-hearted action he had seen from the man in a while.
"Thank you."
"I wanted to meet because... well I..."
"You....?"
The grin that was on Sam's face went away.