" Doctor Cullen... Carlisle! ," Alexandra called out hesitantly at the silent figure of the man she once loved.... Still loved.
He didn't move from his place on the front porch ,nor look at her in acknowledgement . It made her feel....strange . She just couldn't describe the feeling taking place inside of her .
"Carlisle ?", she asked , coming to a halt behind him .
He still didn't look at her or even moved . She , however ,moved closer until she stood pressed up against his back .
She closed her eyes , letting herself do what she wouldn't have done the day before . She snaked her arms around his middle , hugging him from behind.
For a moment , just a brief moment , he tensed ,then relaxed and she heard him release a breath before she felt his hands touch hers , covering them .
" I'm sorry ", she said softly, grudgingly ," I just.... I just felt so lost when you never answered the phone when I called . Or even answered any texts . Then I learned that I was pregnant and I wanted to call you and tell you ,but I thought that you wouldn't answer . And I was too tired to even climb the stairs to get to my phone . Then one day I did call , but you didn't answer and I didn't try it again . I needed you and you weren't there . I guess I just .... just lost my faith in you . I don't mean to hurt you . It's just , I ... I felt so alone and I ... don't want to trust you and find myself broken again when you do something like that again ".
He turned around in her arms , wrapping her in his own arms , holding her so close .
" I know and I really am sorry too . I wish I'd done it differently and maybe this whole situation could've been avoided ,but I can't go back in time and change it . But I can try to show you for the rest of eternity how much you mean to me . I really love you , Alexandra . Even if you don't believe it ".
She didn't look at him . She didn't want to . Her head were pressed against his chest and she just didn't want to move .
He ducked his head , pressing his cheek against the crown of her head and relaxed for the first time in weeks .
They didn't speak to each other for a long while . They only stood there holding each other . Reveling in the presence of one another after being starved from each other's company for so long .
Then she pulled away ,but not completely because he grasped her hands before she could even think of it .
" Will you stay tonight ?", he asked hopefully.
She looked up into his eyes feeling a stubborn reluctance settle in her gut .
She still couldn't trust him enough to give him that , yet her child was still at Bella's and even if she left she'd have to come back for him .
" I don't want to ," she admitted , crushing the hope that was in his heart ," I don't have enough trust yet in you to do that . I just want my son and leave ."
He let go of her hands and sighed . " I understand . I'm sorry I asked ."
His tone was full of bitterness and she felt guilty for being the cause of it right now .
" I'm sorry ," she said ," I can't help how I feel ".
Her tone was apologetic ,but it didn't make him feel any better .
" I'll ask Jacob to go get Grayson . Then I'll drive you home . "
She gave him a quick nod , but said nothing to him .
He walked away and she stayed on the front porch looking out at the edge of the forest where she could see the eyes of the rest of Jacob's pack peeking at her .
She ignored them and shifted her eyes upwards to the night sky .
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The drive back to Forks was silent .
Alexandra sat staring out at the silhouette of the trees beside the road .
Carlisle sat beside her in the driver's seat , his eyes solely on the road, his grip tight on the steering wheel, his lips a thin line .
On the backseat , Grayson lay fast asleep . He didn't stir , his little boyish face scrunched up at whatever dream he was having.
The streets of the town was quiet when they finally drove into Forks .
Not a soul was inside .
" What are we now ?", he asked suddenly out of the blue , breaking the silence .
She didn't look at him as she enquired " What do you mean?".
" I mean , we made peace , what kind of peace is it?. Am I allowed to hold Grayson now? . Am I allowed to kiss you ?. Are we even together ?".
She turned her eyes to him slowly . " We're not together ," she said flatly," I don't know if we'll ever get to that point again . You can hold Grayson , but he doesn't have to know about who you really are. And no you can't kiss me seeing that I'm not yours anymore. I don't know what kind of peace this is . I'm not even sure if it is a peace ".
He clenched the wheel tighter as frustration and anger built inside of him. " So you saying sorry was just an act so you could leave ?", he hissed .
She narrowed her eyes at him . " No, I meant what I said ,but it's hard for me to go back to not hating you . To go back to being with you . You have to understand that I.....I'm_"
" I understand ," he cut her off softly ," I get that it's hard for you and I'm willing to do everything I can to gain back your trust in me . But why don't you want Grayson to know who I am ?. Is it so bad that he knows ?. If we can't be lovers , can we at least be friends then . Or acquaintances ?."
She shrugged . But didn't say a word causing him to huff impatiently . He really wanted an answer .
" Alexandra , please just answer me ?".
She looked away from him and sighed ." I don't know , Doctor.... Carlisle . I...I don't know , okay ?. We can try being friends , but I don't think we'll ever become besties or anything . It still hurts . Even if you apologized".
She tensed when he suddenly placed a hand in her lap , but relaxed when he didn't do anything more .
" I'll try my best to redeem myself with you ", he promised .
She didn't respond to that . She only sat there looking through the window of the car at the houses that they passed by .
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" He's truly a beautiful boy ", Carlisle said as he laid his son down on his mother's bed . His eyes sparkled with affection as he pulled off the boy's trainers.
Alexandra watched him carefully , knowing that after those words he'd probably remember that he don't really know his son and he'd eventually hold that against her when it was really his own fault .
" Do you have any baby pictures of him ?", he asked , turning to look at her .
She nodded towards an album that Cora had gifted her to record the fast growing progress of her son .
" May I ?", he asked .
She nodded again before turning away , walking over to the window .
The day was breaking outside . She didn't know that she'd been out almost the whole night . So much for Carlisle wanting her to stay the night . She wouldn't have stayed longer than two or three hours before the world began to lighten up with the light of the new day .
She heard the sound of pages being turned and looked towards Carlisle who wore a frown upon his brow.
" Something wrong ?," she asked , walking over to him , halting an arm's length away from him so that there was enough space between them .
He looked up from the album , closing it . " Them growing so incredibly fast , worries me ", he said ," I'm worried that they might grow too fast and die because .... because ..."
His shoulders slumped in defeat . Without thinking she closed the distance between them and placed a comforting hand on his arm .
" Alaric had done some research . There's a tribe in Brazil who had cases of human females being impregnated by a Vampire . I have pictures and information he sent me saved on my computer . But there's no proof of the half Vampire children growing up so fast that they eventually died due to aging process . Believe me , I was worried too . Well , I am still, but that's beside the point . Maybe they'll only grow until they reach adulthood and not age any further . Have a little faith ,yeah. That's what I'm trying to do ".
He took her hand in his ignoring how she tensed at his touch . He wanted to hold her hand and if she had to feel a little discomfort because of it ,then so be it.
A mischievousness took ahold of him and without warning he brought her hand to his lips to place a soft kiss on her fingers .
She tensed even more , swiftly pulling her hand out of his ,while glaring at him .
He only smirked at her . He wasn't offended . Well, it hurt a little that she'd pulled her hand away ,but it wasn't such a big thing .
" You should probably go . I think I had enough of you for today ", she said .
His smirk grew wider . " No, I think I'm going to stay. Catch up with you and all that . Come on , Sweetheart , give me a break ?. I won't be a bother , really " .
She snorted and walked over to her bedroom door so she could leave . " Fine , but don't try any funny business . We're just friends . Nothing more ".
He saluted her cheekily and winked eliciting an indignant huff from her ."You got it , Sweetheart . I'll be on my best behaviour . "
She just rolled her eyes . Of course she didn't believe him . Not even a little .
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Sorry , hope you liked it .🌲