The summer was coming to an end and the sun started to set earlier, started to take the easiness away and pointing out the obvious, the fact that a new school year is going to start soon. It was making the younger boy scared but whenever he found his thoughts drifting away to the anxiety, he felt the presence of a person next to him. A person that he had spent the whole summer with, going on many dates and having many sleepless nights, whether under the stars, on the beach or just because they talked through the whole night.
The stars were alight on days where their hearts were shining with love, bright and yellow and blending all the things around them. Beating so loud in their ears, overpowering the noises of the chirping birds outside in the sunlight, the light that was so alike their lights.
Some altercations in the long time only brought them back together stronger, closer and with more strength to fight for their relationship. They had never met a person like each other and they had never felt any kind of these feelings for anyone else. The two felt unobstructed, yet timidly. The thought about them dissipating was a thought about hell for both of them and sometimes the color red of hell overflew them like a wave, setting them inflames and also splashing over the yellow light of the sun raves coming out of their hearts like a huge wave of water. Fire and water are so different and yet one feeling could be seen as hell and heaven. Love is brutal and when you do fall in love one day, when you get that lucky you'll go through heaven and hell. But you surely will not regret anything, even though it could end any second, you'll look back at the memories and after nights of just crying and crying over the long lost love, you'll find yourself smiling at the memories.
But for Karl and Sapnap, there was no time for crying for now.
To say it tersely: they felt vivid.
Nights in the car of Karl's mum, the brunet behind the steering wheel seeming less tense and comfortable in the rolling construction. Sapnap always found his head turning to the left side, looking at the blue eyes focusing on the road before them and it was always a warm feeling blooming in his chest whenever the blue eyes turned to the passenger seat for a second, to smile at the smaller one.
The windows would be rolled down, the fresh air of the night would submerge them at any time and they'd drive around the city, jaunty and not thinking about anything but their partners.
It was ideally and perfect.
Just like now. Sapnap's window was down now too, the wind causing him to close his eyes as Karl drove them to the last party for the summer holidays. The younger one was unadulterated relaxed but that didn't last long when one particular thought scurried through his mind. It was menacing and gnawing at him because he should have actually told him this before. But he always withdrawn and it was like cement was in his throat whenever he just thought about telling him. He always tried to find the right moment but is there even one?
"You alright? Maybe you should roll the window up, you don't look very good", Karl suddenly said.
Sapnap swallowed hard before he managed to speak. "I think I'm fine but there is actually something I want to tell you".
His voice sounded serious and of course led that the whole attention of the older one to him.
"Keep your eyes on the road, it's not that important, little".
Karl nodded and turned his head forward again. His hands were still clinging onto the steering wheel, his knuckles turning slightly white.
"So, me and my father talked a few weeks ago", Sapnap said.
The head of the brunet shot to the side, his eyes wide and clearly not on the road.
"Ay, eyes on the road!".
"What do you mean 'it's not that important'?! You talked with your father, how did it go?", Karl's eyes were focused on the road again and the heartbeat of Sapnap was calming down, the heartbeat of the boy in the drivers seat doing the exact opposite.
"He was nice but that was clearly just a scam because at the end of the conversation, he told me to come over and have dinner. He had invited a girl over, actually the daughter of a friend of him. He wants me to meet her and get to know her".
Karl was gnawing on his bottom lip the whole time, his hands on the steering wheel only gripping harder. "And you said yes?".
"What? Of course not, are you out of your mind?", Sapnap chuckled and shook his head.
But his amusement faded away as he saw the serious expressions on his boyfriend's face. Their car was coming to a halt, the smaller one confused and surprised that they were already there. His head gyrated around to the drivers seat again.
"Karl, did you really think I'm going to meet her just because my dad wants me to? I don't like that girl, I like you", the voice of him was combusting the brunet and the way he accentuated the last three words was planting fires in the deepest pits of his stomach.
"You don't even know her yet how do you know that you don't like her?", Karl asked.
Sapnap sighed out loud and leaned his head back against the seat. "Little, there is no need to worry. I'll not meet that girl because I already have a partner that I would never leave or trade for anything".
Fear and also jealousy was still fighting against the fire that was flickering then in his stomach. He just hummed and turned the keys, pulled them out and left the car. He heard the quick footsteps of Sapnap running around the car to catch up to him. His hand took ahold of his wrist and stopped him from walking away.
"Karl, come on. Why are you so scared, you know how much I like you".
The older one let go of the breath he had hold for a few seconds now and his shoulders relaxed as he slipped his fingers inside the hand of Sapnap. The latter gripped the hand tightly, pulling it up towards his lips and planted a soft kiss on it. "Just so you know, i'll never let you go".
Karl's heart warmed and the corners of his mouth twitched up for a few seconds, showing a small smile.
"I love you very much", he said.
Sapnap smiled before he pulled the brunet towards the door into the full house of sweaty teenagers, drunk and clearly not with senses.
---------------------
The smell of alcohol mixed with the smell of their own breath which was indeed smelling like alcohol as well back then. The younger one watched with a smirk on his face, how Karl titled his head back, the liquid in the small cup on his lips running down into his mouth, a little bit next to his pink lips. There were sweat drops on his forehead as he tilted his head down again and he wiped the drops of alcohol away from his lips with the back of his hand.
Sapnap couldn't help but stare, his eyes looking predatory and he watched with amusement how the blue eyes in front of him dilated as he placed his hand on the waist of the brunet. He pulled him closer, let their bodies touch tightly between all the bodies but they weren't this close to anyone else, just the two of them were placed that no one could even fit a paper between them. Sapnap had a coitus look on his face, his breath hitting the lips of his opponent.
Karl looked nervous and he did act like it as well but still, you could see the trapped lust behind his eyes. Ravenous was displayed in the green eyes in front of him and it was driving the taller one crazy. All he wanted to do was quenching it, giving him his whole body and his whole self.
Their lips brushed and Karl gasped slightly, causing Sapnap to smirk in amusement. The brunet's eyes shot up towards green ones and he closed the gap with strength, their teeth collapsing slightly but neither of them cared.
Butterflies that exhibited love and also lust were faltering around in the stomach of Karl, making him sick with the feelings that he just wanted to blurt out. Their bodies were pressed together, the hands on his hips had a tight grip while his hands got lost in the hair of Sapnap.
They separated to catch their breaths and within seconds, they collided again.
"Uhm excuse me?", a voice interrupted them and Karl was the one to pull away, Sapnap rather uninterested. Begrudgingly, he turned his head to the side as well and eyed the woman next to them.
She pushed her blond hair back behind her ears, showing the pretty face of her and her pretty blue shining eyes. "Hi, I'm Lizzy. You can call me Liz", her hand outstretched towards Sapnap in an instant, not bother to even peer a look at the boy next to him.
"Hi? Do I know you?", Sapnap took one hand off the waist of Karl to shake the daintily hand of the girl. The brunet already felt the place of his waist turning cold.
"Not yet. I'm the daughter of your fathers friend and you're supposed to be at the dinner on Monday, right? I didn't expect to see you here but I'm glad I did because now we got over the awkward introducing part", she giggled and Sapnap raised an eyebrow at her.
"Oh, yeah. I'm supposed to be there but I probably won't come".
Lizzy frowned. "Why not?", she asked.
"It's a long story and the outcoming is that I won't attend to any dinner".
"Well, we have the whole night, am I right? Come have a drink with me and tell me the long story", her fingers slid into the hand of Sapnap before she pulled him into the kitchen, leaving Karl alone on the dance floor.
He watched them leave, a huff escaping the mouth of him as he saw the apologetic look of his boyfriend. He turned around to push his body through the many other bodies and towards the couch as he sat down on it. A blonde joined him a few minutes afterwards and started talking to him.
"So why are you here lurching on this ugly sofa instead of joining all these drunk teenagers?", she asked.
"It's none of your business", Karl answered, his eyes searching for a drink on the table in front of him. But all his eyes fell on was the pair of two people in the back, chatting together and way too close for his taste. He saw Sapnap rolling his eyes with a smile on his face as she hit him jokingly on the upper arm.
"Wait! Don't tell me you like Lizzy", the blonde girl next to him laughed and shook her head.
"Wow, I didn't know a guy like you would fall for her".
Karl gyrated his head to the girl and eyed her with curious eyes. "Who are you again?", he asked.
"I'm Brooke and you?".
"Karl Jacobs".
"Alright, Karl Jacobs. Tell me then how the heck did that girl make you fall for her", her head turned towards Lizzy and Sapnap again and she eyed them with a little bit of disgust.
"I don't like Lizzy. It's quite the opposite", the brunet answered.
"Oh so she's your ex and now she has a new guy? Well, that sucks", Brooke took another sip of her drink.
"No, it's also not that. That guy next to her is my boyfriend".
The blonde stopped drinking and she pulled her hand down slowly, her eyes turning away from the two to focus on the boy next to her. "Oh", she said.
Karl only hummed and nodded his head. They were both silent for a while until Brooke started to talk again.
"Well, you should be careful with her then because Lizzy can be a plague sometimes. If she wants something, she'll get it".
The brunet frowned and gyrated his head towards the blonde. "You're not making it any better".
At that she gave him the cup in her hand and Karl took it without hesitation.
"I'm sure he won't fall for any of her tricks. I mean he's your boyfriend so he must love you right? Love is strong and I don't think even Lizzy can get between that. Or I hope...", Brooke mumbled the last words but the taller one still heard it.
"I hope he loves me", he sighed, pushing the cup towards his lips again afterwards.
"You two haven't confessed yet?".
"I did. I tell him I love him all the time but he never says it back".
Brooke took a deep breath before she slouched down on the couch. "I'm sure he'll say it back to you soon".
The way she tried to calm him down was not working and the way the hot liquid was running down his throat, making it itch was making him not feel better at all.
Ridiculous thoughts like 'does he even love me?' were running wild in his brain, causing a nausea feeling in his stomach. He got up quickly, his feet running swiftly through the many people on the dance floor. His hand trembled as he put it down on the door knob, pushing it down and breathing in the fresh night air yet again.
He was about to take a walk as he heard a voice behind him, not able to not knowing who it belongs to in an instant.
"Karl! Where are you going?", he heard the quick footsteps again but this time he wasn't going to stop.
"Hey, what's wrong?", Sapnap caught his wrist again and the brunet tensed.
"Go inside again, Sap. Lizzy is probably waiting", he said through his gritted teeth. They were gnawing on his lip afterwards.
"What? Seriously, Karl are you really pulling the jealous boyfriend thing right now?", his hand slipped down off his wrist and the brunet finally turned around.
"And you're always pulling the 'oh we're so happy, oh we're in love' boyfriend when you're the one not loving me!", he took a step back on the road as he poured out all his insecurities that he had been keeping inside for a long time now.
"What are you talking about? And come back on the pavement, jesus!", Sapnap pulled him up on the pavement and placed a hand on his waist.
"I always tell you how much I love you and you can't even say it back!", the brunet pushed down the hand on his waist and stepped back again.
It was like a flash, the car rushing closer and closer and Sapnap had never reacted so fast before. He pulled the taller boy close to him, their bodies collapsing heavily.
"Fucking hell, will you stop trying to kill yourself if I finally say it to you?!".
Karl swallowed hard, his chest lifting up and down swiftly. He looked around his surroundings with a tear falling out of his eye and running down his reddened cheek.
"N-no. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all these... things. I don't want to pressure you into anything. I should probably-", he pointed his thumb behind him. "should probably go".
The brunet almost stumbled over his feet as he stepped back.
"Karl, no! Wait! You'll not leave, not like this".
"Sapnap, I'm fine. I'll text you when I'm home".
"You won't. I know exactly that you will not text me and that you'll avoid me", the younger boy sounded so desperate and it made Karl's heart arch in pain.
"I-I won't", he stuttered.
His feet slipped down the pavement as he turned around, the alcohol still in his blood making him a little bit too tipsy. He stumbled yet again on the street, not seeing the car that was driving towards him as he tried to get up. "Ow", he mumbled as he rubbed his ankle.
A tight grip on his arm had pulled him up once more and his head was spinning because of the strong pull. "W-what?", he murmured.
"Fuck, Karl! I love you! I love you with every bone in my body, with every cell and everything I have. Please stop falling on the damn street, you idiot!".
The taller boy felt his head spinning even more as he heard Sapnap literally screaming these words at him. He tried to lift up his head and not faint in an instant, the thumb under his chin giving him a little bit of support.
"You shouldn't have said that. I forced you into it", Karl felt another thumb catching the warm tear slipping from his eye.
"You didn't. I wanted to say it a long time ago but I wanted to make it special or something like that. I'm sorry. I love you, little".
"I'll never get used to you saying that".
"You should. Because I'll never stop saying it", there was a smile on the face of him and Karl smiled back at him.
"I love you", Sapnap said again.
"I love you too", the brunet answered and he was shut quite instantly with soft lips on his own.
-------------------------------
Hey, thank you for reading chapter thirty four! I hope you like it :)
Follow me on twitter cyleedd for updates on this story and my other stories! :D
Stay healthy & ily <3
NO SAD ENDING BTW