I'm alive everyone! I needed a break to get over this rut. Trying to write while feeling like this sort of heartbreak is not easy.. but I haven't abandoned you!
I hope you enjoy the chapter!
.........
"I like your new haircut," Armin smiled from across the table, sipping his soup casually. Novia gave a nervous grin back unsure of how people would react to her cutting her hair. So far it was going unnoticed by most of them. Although, now that Armin initiated his opinion, everyone else started to become aware of it too.
"Thanks....right now I'm feeling a little iffy about it." She nervously laughed. It was the truth. Last night what she did was definitely off of an impulse. Something about Floch's comment rattled her to the core....She cut her hair to where it rested at her collarbone and added bangs to change things up. Maybe a small part of her wanted Floch to find her unattractive so he'd leave her alone for good or just somewhat unrecognizable. At least, that's how she planned out the potential scenario in her head.
"Don't be.....the bangs are a nice touch, but I mean you look cute with short or long hair." Mikasa complimented, reassuring her kindly. Novia blushed at Mikasa's innocent praise....the use of the word 'cute' specifically alluring her.
Jean took this chance to also chime in on Mikasa's compliment. "Yeah Mikasa's right, no matter what hairstyle you have goin' on, it suits you nicely." Jean froze as soon as those words came out of his mouth. They sounded more heartfelt then he anticipated. A light blush appeared on his cheeks and Novia chuckled, knowing exactly how he felt. "Thank you guys, seriously.....I appreciate it." Everyone nodded in affirmation like it was no big deal.
Novia glanced over her shoulder to see Eren coming down the hall towards her. She smiled at him to show her acknowledgement, happy he was directing his way to her. Ironically, a cold stare permanently spread across his appearance ...She could sense something was wrong, so she got up from her seat.
"Hey, Eren....you okay? You seem a little on edge today?"
He gave intense eye contact, staring at her as if he was guilty of something, a longing gleam was showing through his beautiful green eyes. "Listen....we need to talk. Privately." He sternly demanded. This extended Novia anxiousness and she gazed down at her feet in habit. She could already tell by the careful usage of his words...this was a delicate circumstance.
"Please don't let this be what I think it is..." she mumbled lowly. No...not this. It couldn't be. The familiar feeling again. Of loneliness. Of abandonment spreading throughout her body. She didn't want anymore sleepless nights of her questioning all the things she could've done different if she had another chance. A flashback of Levi lingered within her...
"....C'mon Novia." He sighed taking her arm and going back down the hall. This was painful for him...truly. He didn't want to hurt Novia like this. He was fully aware that the captain pulled this stunt once before and by repeating his actions, it would break Novia entirely, especially because of how hard he had worked to earn her trust, to prove he wasn't like the captain in the slightest, yet here he was....duplicating his mistake.
Eren spent all night weighing out his options. He came to the conclusion that the hurt she would feel from this would only be temporary, whereas Floch's consistent harassment would leave deep scars of torment for her he couldn't bear to witness. He did enough damage, so Eren knew he had to protect her, even if it ended with her hating him.
As they entered a private empty room, Novia yanked out of Eren's grip, disgusted by him already and he haven't even spoken a word yet, his body language said it all. "Please tell me this is a joke. That you needed to speak with me because I didn't come to your room last night and that you're not actually mad." She optimistically hoped.
Eren brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing it. "That's not the reason. But from the expression on your face it seems you already knew that....." He took a deep breath, not meeting Novia's tormented blue eyes. Here it goes. He was trying to focus on the fact this whole mess would benefit her in the long run.
Before he could get the words out he caught sight of Novia's true appearance as they stood in silence, his eyes flashing with comprehension. Her hair......she, cut it?
"Wait Novia?...you, you cut your hair. I like it...a lot." Eren breathed, speaking mostly to himself aloud. The bangs made her seem so much more mature, more independent, more fitting. He suddenly had a moment of weakness...
He naturally reached his hand out to go tuck a loose strand behind her ear. Novia brought him back to reality by impatiently swiping his hand away. "Don't stall this any longer Eren, just spit it out already."
Finally, in a bitter tone, Eren fakely played Floch's game and let it all out. "I'm done messing around with you Novia. Yeah it was fun and all, but I don't want to do it again. Ever. I used you for my own personal fun, that's all... I don't want you anymore." Novia's rejection to his touch made Eren spill his forced words out harsher than he anticipated but, he understood the longer they stood together in that room the harder it would be to do.
Novia processed each and every one of Eren's words carefully and to her own surprise she started laughing. It was all in irony of course. She was so over crying to the point she now felt obligated to laugh.
Laugh at the fact she was stupid enough to believe everything he said. Laugh at the fact Eren was no different from Levi. Laugh at the fact she allowed herself to once again be persuaded to give away her trust.
Laugh at the fact she couldn't escape the repetition of being disappointed time and time again.
Novia wiped a hysterical tear from her face, now giving Eren a repulsive glare."Don't ever come near me again. I want nothing to do with you. You truly disgust me....Everything you've ever told me," She paused taking an exhausted sigh, "I knew it was all bullshit." And without saying another word she left Eren in that room all alone, slamming the door so hard, the knob broke off.
"Fuck you for making me push her away...." Eren whispered....all his anger directing towards Floch.
......
*One Week Later*
Novia sat in her room, quietly reading a book she had borrowed from Armin. The familiar heartbreak and loneliness had started to sink in once Novia sat alone with her thoughts the night Eren said those awful things. Not only did she now have to worry about avoiding him, but the captain still remained eerily silent about the night she blew off their scheduled punishment.
Why hasn't he said anything yet? There was no way he was letting her off that easy. Not even at training has he remotely looked in her direction. It was strange and because of that, Novia let her anxiety wash over her well being completely. For the past week she had tried her best to not cause a scene and act as normal as possible.
Eren's friends were her friends too, so being discreet was the only method to hide what was truly going on. Even though she was sure Jean and Connie had figured it out already...
A knock at the door spiked Novia's anxiety, simultaneously detaching her from her thoughts. "Come in." She nervously spoke hoping it wasn't the captain.
Little strands of blonde hair poked through the door. "Hey Novia, can me and ymir talk to you for minute?" Novia smiled and put her book down once she saw Historia's gorgeous features come into view. "Of course, come sit." She patted the spot next her on the bed scooting over.
As they both entered the room, Novia could sense a little nervousness radiating from both of them. "You guys okay? You're acting kinda weird?" Novia chuckled anxiously. Ymir gave a slight smirk as she sat down...
"Nope I'm all good! I'm actually still trying to process this wonderful idea my lovely Historia just came up with a little bit ago...in fact," She teasingly gestured for Historia to continue her thought. "Why don't you tell her what you told me. Don't leave out any details." She winked and Historia blushed. Novia eyed them both in curiousness, confused on what they were getting at.
Historia took a deep breath, her cheeks completely red. "Well first of all....How would you feel about going camping on the wall with us? Tonight?"
Novia gazed back at Ymir and just saw utter amusement within her eyes.
.......
Ahhhhhh we know what they're going to ask and I'm very excited to write the next chapter. Novia needs a break from all these stupid men am I right;) ?
Hope this was worth the wait. I can't promise when I'll update but I can promise I'm bound to finish writing this story!
xx,
Rey