It's been almost three months since Jen and Brad split and it truly has been the hardest three months for the both of them. Five weeks ago, they had the 'talk'... the 'talk' that neither of them wanted to have... the 'talk' that both of them put off for as long as humanly possible, but the 'talk' that they both knew had to happen.
The past three months have been a reflection for both Jen and Brad. She's realising that she really cannot live without him. They've been together for eight years, they share four beautiful children and she really doesn't want to throw all that away. She knows she needs to have a conversation with him about what she's feeling but she's terrified that he's still one hundred percent certain on this separation.
So much has happened since they split. Jen has tried looking for a place for her and the kids, which proved almost impossible since their split is still very much under the radar... only a handful of people in her close friendship group knows, so in the end, she decided that it would be best for her and her families privacy if she, along with her four most beautiful creations, stayed with Courteney, David and Coco.
To say it's been difficult to prevent the media from getting wind of this would be a huge understatement. Brad still occupies their house and every day after work, Jen goes back there until all of the paparazzi leave, and then she goes back to Courteney's. Brad understands why she's doing this... she's doing this to protect her family... she's doing this to protect him. Instead of it being awkward, it's more emotionally painful... the both of them being in the same house in close proximities everyday for a few hours until they solve this. Jen still hurts everyday she sees Brad and he can see this. He sees this because he feels the same way. It kills him a little bit more each time when she leaves. He knows he's the reason for this and he's blaming himself considerably. It's his fault she's unhappy... it's his fault that she's putting up a front around their children... it's his fault that she's still absolutely miserable, and unlike the other times she's been upset, he's unable to comfort her.
He can tell that she doesn't want to be there with him, in the same house. He can tell that she wishes that they weren't public people so this would be slightly easier to hurdle around.
They also spent the girls 5th birthday apart... not apart in person but apart in their now non-existent relationship. Their children's birthdays have always been so special to them. They always make a big fuss and this time, that didn't change. They, as grown adults, still provided the best birthday their daughters could've wished for. They worked together as a team, no matter how hard it was, to make sure their two beautiful first borns, thoroughly enjoyed their day, and they did.
The girls had a fantastic birthday. They celebrated it in 'Brad's house'. Everyone came together... well, only the people who knew about their situation. She stayed over the night before and the night after, wanting to keep this as normal as possible for her daughters sake. She didn't want them to feel any different on this birthday, although things in their family circle have changed dramatically. Brad and Jen threw the most amazing party with a petting zoo, so many balloons, a disco with party lights and even a magic show.
For that one day it was like they were one big happy family. If anyone on the outside were to have seen them, it looked that way too. They were laughing together, playing with their children together, taking family photos and they even had their arms around each other at a few points during the day. But at the end of the day, they're both mature adults and they definitely were not going to let their some what of a messy break up come between the one day a year they get to celebrate their daughters.
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(Jen's P.O.V)
Brads sister has currently got the kids, she's taken them out for the day to some play centre, which the girls and River were very excited about. She's just called me saying that they're all having so much fun, especially Emery who is apparently loving the huge ball pit, but that doesn't surprise me since he's obsessed with his own ball pit.
Since as I still have a few hours to myself, I decide to take the photo albums of the kids out of my suitcase and take a look through them.
I'm sat in bed with a huge album on my lap, flicking through all of the amazing photos Brad and I have taken and compiled all into one book. I can feel tears pressing on my eyes when I come across a picture of the girls when they were first born. I remember Brad taking this photo of them just after they finished feeding for the first time. They were definitely drunk on my milk in this photo, probably dreaming about milk and my boobies too.
The next two photos I come across is of Brad with River when he was born and then of Brad with Emery at the same age River was.
My tears are flowing freely as I see how he looks at his children. He was and is still the most amazing father to them. I honestly couldn't have wished for my children to have a better dad... he's truly one of a kind.
The next photo warms my heart. It's Brad holding Pollyanna with Ophelia standing in front of them eating a cookie. I remember this day so well. We had taken them to a birthday party of one of my friends' children. That day was filled with laughter and seeing my daughters toddle around... it's a day I'll never forget. And the way Brad is looking at Ophelia... you can totally see how in love with his daughters he really is.
Now, I don't normally like paparazzi photos but the next two are exceptions. They're a little blurry, but they're photos of me holding River as we were waiting for Brad to come out of the airport after a business trip. I remember being so excited to finally see him again, and so was River. The girls stayed with Courteney that day but as soon as Brad saw us both waiting for him outside of the car, I remember seeing the biggest smile appearing on his face and the pace of his walking quickened as he couldn't wait to finally reach us.
And in this next photo, I couldn't help but kiss my baby's chubby little cheeks.
Not being able to look through any more photos, I close the book and lay back down on the bed. After a few minutes, this overwhelming feeling comes over me and I just have to see him... I have to go and see Brad.
Probably quicker than I've done anything, I change out of the slacks I've practically been living in, throw on a hoodie, a pair of leggings and some trainers, grab my keys and head out of the door.
As I pull out of Courteney's drive way, a million and one things are rushing through my head. I don't know exactly why I'm going to see him but I just have to... I need to. I don't even know what I'm going to say when I get there, if I'll say anything at all but something is overpowering me and I can't stop it.
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Jen has just pulled up outside Brad's house... well, technically it's their house but she doesn't live there anymore given their current circumstances. She's crying, shaking, sweating and she feels sick to her stomach. She doesn't know what she's going to say... she doesn't know what she's going to do... all that she does know, is that she absolutely has to see him.
She gets out of the car and hurries to the door where she barges in and frantically hunts for him.
"Brad!" She calls out from the living room
"BRAD" She shouts even louder this time as she makes her way from the kitchen back into the living room
"Jen, what are you doing here?"
Hey guys!
I'm so gutted to say that there will be only one more chapter after this one and then the book will be finished.
When I first started this, I had no idea how popular it would become, let alone rank up a whopping 50k reads🙈
I never intended for this book to be as long as it has become, but I guess I loved it so much I just had to continue it.
There's a reason I'm ending this book at the next chapter, which you'll find out when I post it.
But until then, keep safe.
Love you all🕊🕊