Chapter 47: His Own Worst Enemy
Well into studying, YN hit his usual wall that he did in their time together trying to learn, prompting Rem to bring up other things to help take his mind off of his struggles.
Rem: Oh, did YN-kun hear? We'll be having a very special guest tomorrow!
YN: Let me guess, is he the 'Genius, Wandering, Womanizing, Dragon-taming, Headhunting Chef?'
Slightly frowning at YN's description of someone she looked up, Rem responded.
Rem: YN-kun, you shouldn't be so quick to reproduce rumors. Dias Lepunzo Elemanso Oplane Fatsbalm VI is a well known and respected chef. He's at the forefront of Lugunica's culinary skills, and as someone who also wants to be the best she can at cooking, Rem must follow his example.
Afraid he'd said something wrong, YN backed Rem up.
YN: No no, no disrespect. That's just what Subaru got done trying to shove down my throat. He's convinced this guy was only invited to shun and ridicule Emilia's table manors. Something about cursing her for failure forever more or something stupid.
Seeing the new confused look on Rem's face as she tilted her head, YN waved away any worry she might have.
YN: Eh, don't worry about it. It's about as stupid as it sounds.
Rem: Well, it is said Dias Lepunzo Elemanso Oplane Fatsbalm VI is strict on table manners... and is well known for being quite... eccentric.
YN: Rem don't tell me you're—
Giggling, Rem resolved any worry YN had now. But, going back to her more somber expression, Rem thought in silence for a moment more, a hand to her chin.
YN: You look worried now though.
Closing her eyes and shaking her head, Rem weakly smiled.
Rem: No, not worried. Just anxious... And maybe a little guilty. Nee-sama agreed to cover Rem's duties during his visit so Rem could shadow Dias Lepunzo Elemanso Oplane Fatsbalm VI-sama's cooking and learn from the best.
Having a brief idea come across his mind, YN developed a last minute idea.
I don't like the idea of Rem being alone with someone like that...
YN: Hey, why don't you tell Nee-sama that I'll cover for her?
Putting a hand to her chin, Rem shook her head.
Rem: Nee-sama knows your position here is only 'part time' and she will want to honor what Roswaal-sama expects. Rem doubts she would agree.
YN: B-but it gives her a break, and a chance for you both to learn something new together. Ya know, sisterly bonding.
Mulling over it more, Rem finally nodded in agreement.
Rem: Hmm, Rem will ask her what she thinks then. It shouldn't be a problem if Rem brings that up.
Thinking again to his goal, YN added one more bit on there.
YN: The only thing I want in exchange is to at least meet the guy when he gets here. It's not everyday someone like this comes along.
While not lying, YN did his best to hopefully arrange an opportunity to talk to the chef to procure the tometos he'd need while also keeping his surprise hidden from Rem.
***
Close to mid-day, YN was busy dusting an upstairs hallway when Ram came to greet him.
Ram: Roswaal-sama and the chef will be arriving shortly, will you be downstairs to greet them?
YN: Yeah I'll be right down.
Ram: And do you know where Barasu is? As much of a bad impression he gives to the rest of the staff, it's only customary he also be there to greet the guests.
YN: I think Rem said something about him not feeling well and going back to bed.
Seemingly annoyed at hearing that Subaru was out of commission, Ram crossed her arms and tapped her foot.
Ram: Damn that Barasu, if he leaves me alone to finish all the chores...
Snapping herself back to YN, Ram dropped her previous composure.
Ram: Just be presentable shortly. I'll see you downstairs.
Finishing up, YN quickly washed his face and beat any dust he'd gotten on his works clothes off before joining the twins downstairs to welcome the return of Roswaal and the arrival of the chef-guest.
YN didn't wait long in the foyer with them as the door to the mansion opened.
Roswaal: Ah it is so goooooood to be home.
Rem & Ram: Roswaal-sama, welcome back.
Each flanking the door on opposite sides, the twins bowed to their employer, grabbing each side of the door as they did.
Standing to the back of Rem, YN also bowed, although he stayed silent, doing his best to fit in and not draw attention to himself.
Following Roswaal, a rather massive and rotund man waddled in. In his wake, a servant, their person concealed by a long, black hooded coat pushing a rather large luggage cart also followed.
???: Ah, civilization at last, I say.
Walking to where Roswaal had stopped, the rotund man circled him, looking about the mansion. The light from the chandeliers reflected hazily off his greasy hair.
Roswaal: Everyone, this is Dias Lepunzo Elemanso Oplane Fatsbalm VI, our honored guest and orchestrator of tonight's meal. Pleeeeease be as respectful as possible.
Shutting the door in perfect unison with a "*cer-chunk,*" the twins approached the guest in question and bowed once more.
Rem & Ram: We are honored to have you here, Dias Lepunzo Elemanso Oplane Fatsbalm VI-sama.
Eyeing the twins in a most lustful manner, Dias-blah-blah-blah had a bead of sweat run down his brow as he licked his lips, and started to breath heavily.
???: Ah what a greeting indeed, I say. And twins as well. What a pair of beauties you have to do your bidding. They wouldn't be willing to assist in more ways than one would they, I say?
Already not liking the words coming from this guy in regards to the twins, YN stepped up behind them, but also bowing just as they had, hoping his presence might dissuade any further choice comments.
Seeing the groundskeeper appear before him as well, the rotund man had a sour expression on his face, and let his displeasure be known.
???: Hmm, unfortunately this display of beauty has now been soured. Surely since he's here the reserve of fair maidens must be in short supply now.
Knowing now was the most optimal time to at least ask on the possibility of perhaps seeing if the chef had any tometos worth sparing, a bad taste began to develop in his mouth.
Going to turn away, the rotund man was brought back by YN's sudden words.
YN: Surely a professional such as yourself should ascertain a much higher degree of flattering remarks, no?
Looking down upon the three in front of him, the twins also looked back to YN, standing such that each of their visible eyes could see YN standing between but just aft of them both. With all eyes on him, the large man in question defended his honor.
???: I beg your pardon? What does my professionalism have to do with my remarks, I say?
Remaining bowed, YN spoke his reply.
YN: It's curious that someone whose talent is making extravagant cuisine, would have such bad taste in compliments. But alas, that cannot be the case, perhaps our renowned chef is tired from his travels.
With both of the twins' eyes now opening wide to YN's sheer passive aggressive comments to the chef, they did not orchestrate a look of concern, but rather shock he had chosen to be so bold in his words, something that was unlike him.
Standing straight from his bow, YN turned his eye to see how Roswaal would react. Expecting a scowl, he was surprised to see that wasn't the case.
Out of view of the lumbering figure, Roswaal held his gloved hand over his wide smile, as if containing his amusement, his shoulder slightly rising from the muffled chuckles.
As he observed those that he knew around him, the rotund man's forehead was now becoming shiny with sweat as he fidgeted in displeasure at YN's words. While taken in the context they had been spoken, it was clearly impolite, but having learned well from Ram, YN had nearly mastered the ability to speak with utmost respect, but be condescending.
Deciding the servant was not worth his time, the large man turned away and barked out his request.
???: I no longer wish to dwell here, I say. I will be off to the kitchen.
Rem: Let Rem guide you.
Seeing his displeasure from his comment, YN knew he had forfeited his chance to ask for any tometo he would be willing to spare.
Leading the man away, Rem escorted him out of the foyer and toward the kitchen.
Watching as the blue haired walked away, YN keenly observed the man in question eyeballing her in ways he should not, looking directly at her rear. Noticing he was not alone in this observation, YN saw Ram's knuckles turn white as she tightly clenched her fists.
With the only three left in the foyer now being YN, Ram, and Roswaal, a brief silence fell other the group before being broken by the mansion's owner
Roswaal: Myyyyyy, I must say, this will be an interesting evening.
Thankful to not be immediately scolded, YN felt some of the tension in his chest relax. While not sure if he'd avoided Ram's wrath though, it was clear her attention was taken elsewhere with the frustration she still currently bore.
Roswaal: Ram, how do you feel about our new guest?
Taking a deep breath and letting her fists go loose once more, the elder maid regained her composure.
Ram: Ram would not have anything ill to say about one of Roswaal-sama's esteemed guests.
Roswaal: And your true feelings?
Silent for a moment before replying, Ram spoke much lower, clenching her fist once more.
Ram: What I would do to a man who looks so sinfully at Rem...
Seemingly just as, if not more disliking of this man then YN, Ram made her feelings known. YN felt a relief in the comradery of displeasure it seemed everyone had of him.
Shrugging now, Roswaal turned his attention to YN.
Roswaal: I must admit, even I was caught off guard by your witfulness there. Perhaaaaaaps YN-kun should be in charge of greeting guests from now on.
Putting a hand to her chin, Ram seemingly and seriously considered her master's words, as if trying to find wisdom in them.
Roswaal: Buuuuut, as much as I would like to entertain both of your thoughts on the matter more, I'm afraid I must go sort through some very important documents before dinner.
Bowing at her master's departure, Ram waited before saying anything more till he was well and gone.
Ram: *Sigh* Well, at least the chef was kept from making any further remarks, thanks to you.
Scratching the back of his head, YN appreciated the words.
YN: I think I really spoke for both of us there. I don't see how some people get off thinking they can act that way. But anyway, shouldn't you be joining Rem in the kitchen?
Shaking her head, a look of annoyance grew on Ram's face.
Ram: While YN did cover for Ram's early morning duties to free her day up later to spend time observing Dias-sama, it appears Barasu has decided to abandon his duties for the rest of the day, feigning sickness. So Ram will be forced to cover for him it seems.
YN: Don't worry about it Ram, I'll cover for him so you don't have to.
Shaking her head, Ram denied YN's offer.
Ram: No, YN has already worked more already today than what is expected of a part timer, Ram cannot allow it.
YN: But wouldn't it be better if you were with Rem so that way she doesn't feel intimidated? I'm well aware she can handle herself, but I still don't like the idea of her being alone with someone like that.
Sighing in agreement, Ram shared YN's sentiment.
Ram: Fine, I give in. As her Nee-sama, Ram cannot allow herself to be upstaged when it comes to how protective she is of her.
Turning to YN with a more serious gaze, Ram changed the subject.
Ram: As a maid serving Roswaal-sama, Ram's loyalty to him prevents her from having said things like YN was unafraid to, for that Ram must voice her displeasure with him.
Fully expecting a scolding now, YN readied himself for Ram to deal him discipline.
Ram: But—
With her expression softening, she continued.
Ram: As Rem's Nee-sama, she must express her appreciation for YN saying what Ram could not. That being said—
Going to follow in her sister's footsteps and head towards the kitchen, Ram looked over her shoulder, speaking low as she did.
Ram: In the event YN finishes before the meal is over and everyone is absent from the kitchen, Ram may leave a window open. Should a few tometos potentially go missing from Dias-sama's personal supply he brought with him, I will make sure their disappearance is not heavily looked into.
Surprised to hear the pink haired maid speak as such, she departed from the foyer, ready to join her sister.
Knowing he would have a few more hours of work ahead of himself, YN set about performing even more tasks, determined to be finished within the "recommended" time frame
***
After several more hours of domestic chores YN wasn't exactly accustomed to, he was beginning to feel the strain of so many worked hours.
In the midst of dusting an upper floor frame of a painting, he noticed Ram bringing Emilia and Beatrice towards the stairs leading down to the foyer.
I guess soup is on, huh?
Finishing up as quickly as he could, YN set about leaving out the backdoor of the mansion. Staying close to the shrubbery he had just trimmed, it left him enough room to sneak between them and the mansion, concealing himself from being seen through the dining hall windows.
Arriving at the kitchen windows, Ram truly had left one of them open. Although it wasn't going to be easy to access, YN figured if he—
*rustle rustle*
Ducking down back behind the bushes, YN was not alone. Peeping his eyes from around the corner, another person was also present, spying much as he would have.
Who the hell is this??
Getting a better look, it was women of all people, and definitely not one he'd seen at the mansion before.
With long dark hair and a long dark dress, a sudden bolt of fear ran through YN's spine.
I-is that—??
He had only encountered one other woman in this world with long dark hair.
Did Elsa come back for revenge?
Remembering comments made on Subaru's own hair, he recalled it being said that black hair was quite rare. It had to be her, the chances of it being anyone else were slim to none.
A panic began to build in YN, what was he supposed to do? Everyone was currently inside about to eat. While Emilia was able to somewhat hold her own against the assassin, Roswaal might be a worthy opponent as well.
And with both Rem and Ram in there...
Was she trying to get the drop on them? Or was she here for the chef of all people? No, that's too convenient. And unlike her. She wouldn't walk into a room of such powerful people without a plan.
As the circumstances began to offer more questions than answers, YN began to increasingly worry.
Taking another look at the women he suspected to be Elsa, YN breathed a sigh of relief.
Noticing the endowment of the women in question was much less than that of Elsa's, and the dress not nearly as risqué, but almost bordering on extremely modest, hiding as much skin as it could, YN concluded this woman was most definitely, not Elsa.
Her hair as well, unbraided and covering one eye, also was very unlike "the gut hunter" he knew.
Feeling his worry and fear turn into resolve knowing the threat was now non-existent, YN was now determined to find out just who this woman was.
Boldly stepping out, still unnoticed by the dark haired women, YN pointed his finger and shouted, trying his best to conjure a "jaded and cynical groundskeeper" one might expect to run across at a well-to-do estate.
YN: Hey! What do you think you're doing, eh?
Startling the women so bad she tripped over her own heels, a rather masculine sounding cry came from her.
Walking up the woman who was now on the ground, YN crossed his arms.
YN: I asked you a question. State your intentions and comply peacefully or I will be forced to—
???: Gah, YN! Are you trying to get me to break an ankle?!
Hearing the masculine voice again come from this woman, YN also seemed to recall a familiarity in it as well.
YN: How do you know my name?
Ignoring his question and pointing up to him, the woman in question barked back.
???: A better question is what are you doing back here?!
Hearing the voice speak more, YN recognized the owner of the voice. The true owner.
Suddenly a wash of observations and realizations became clear to YN.
The dark hair. The flat chest. The inability to walk in heels. The faked sanpaku eyes.
YN: S-Subaru?!
Uncrossing his arms and throwing them to his side, YN was actually blown away.
Realizing he had actually managed to fool YN, Subaru sighed, realizing the entire misunderstanding.
Subaru: Yes, it's me.
Still unable to garner the words, YN could not for the life of him understand Subaru's logic here.
YN: W-what are you doing? What could this possibly— actually. Ya know what? I don't wanna know. All I know is I'm here to look for—
Subaru: It's not in there, —his luggage.
Going to walk past Subaru, YN had decided to see if he could see into where the chef had brought his luggage that certainly also contained his supplies, where the tometos surely would be.
Stopping before he could look, YN turned to Subaru, who was still laying on the ground.
YN: How would you know?
Subaru: Because, he just had his assistant wheel the whole thing in with them to the dining hall. They're about to start.
Looking down, YN cursed under his breath.
Still unsure of what Subaru was doing though still, YN had to ask.
YN: So, what's with the get up? This an uhh, hobby of yours?
Seemingly halfway embarrassed now, Subaru tried to explain.
Subaru: Well, you remember hearing how this chef apparently only serves women right? I figured if I crossdressed then maybe I'd have a better chance of getting into the meal...
YN: But what were you going to do about your voice?
???: That's where I come in!
Hearing another familiar voice, it was filled with its usual androgynous tone.
Flying out from the chest region of Subaru's dress, the little gray cat puffed out his chest, as if proud to be playing his part.
YN: Oh not you too. How did he manage to talk you into this?
Actually surprised to see the great spirit in cahoots with Subaru on his "plan," YN couldn't believe it.
Puck: I'll do anything to protect Lia's innocence, and for the time I've known Roswaal, this wouldn't be unlike him.
Referring back to the theory Subaru had in regards to Roswaal's intentions behind the chef's visit, Puck seemed to have been convinced of it.
YN: So what were the two of you even trying to accomplish by sneaking around back in here?
Subaru: A little reconnaissance never hurt, and we couldn't exactly just go barging in on our own, ya know?
Scratching the back of his wig, Subaru admitted that while they did have the means, they lacked the opportunity to strike.
Face-palming at the entire ordeal, YN realized he was wasting time here discussing the details of their plan.
YN: I can only hope Ram has made another opportunity for me to snag those tometos. I've gotta go make sure now by—
Going to depart to spy into the dining hall, YN was halted by Subaru.
Subaru: Wait. I'll make a deal with you.
Out of any real options, YN gestured to Subaru he'd at least listen.
Subaru: If you can get us an excuse for us to enter, I'll be sure to get you some tometos if Dias-blah-blah-blah has any.
Knowing at this point it was his only real avenue for success, YN reluctantly agreed. After all, this way it meant less risk for him, and more blame on Subaru should something really go wrong.
With YN helping up the crossdressed Subaru, he regained his balance on his heels, and patted his dress smooth.
Subaru: It's simple, you won't even need to do much.
Briefly explaining his idea, the three were off to accomplish their goals.
A/N: Here's this weeks chapters. A bit of build up for the show that will come later. Thank you all so much for the continued support. I love reading all the comments and seeing the reviews. I hope you all look forward to next week's chapters!