I never did call Harry.
Maybe I didn't want to sound clingy, maybe I was too scared, I don't know.
I debated in my mind calling him, never once being able to bring myself to do it. It was later that afternoon as I walked through the local vinyl record shop, looking for something new.
Music was definitely a hobby of mine. Not making it, but to collect and listen.
My finger traced over hundreds of vinyls. Every single one a different color or design, each holding inside their slip a piece of artwork someone had put out.
Every song was a story and every singer told their story through song.
As I look around glancing from record to record, questioning if my bank account can go through another splurge at this store.
That's the bad thing about college. You're broke as fuck.
I come here often, almost as much as the bookstore. I find peace and tranquillity here as well. Whether it being the soft music in the background or the minimal amounts of people, the copious amounts of music to choose from. It all gave me the same feeling.
Every record looks different, each catching my attention in their own way. As I shop, my mind can't help but go back to Harry and his number sitting there in my phone, waiting to be called.
His name runs through my mind as I look at every record that somewhat reminds me of him. The dark edgy covers, the red covers for his boxing gloves, the pinks for his personality at times.
Should I call? He did ask me too.
I never usually called. I did with Grayson at first, he just never answered so I stopped. What if Harry didn't pick up? What was I going to say?
Without a second thought, I pull out my phone quickly, swiping to the messages app. I open a new message and I start typing his name quickly into the search bar before I can back out.
Harry Styles:
Me: i miss you-
I type out, but decided to delete the message not wanting to sound clingy, or more importantly admitting to myself I missed him.
I start again with a simpler message.
Me: hi.
That was good. I think? Fuck, I hate this. I sent the message before I could chicken myself out. I watch as the message turns blue and then underneath my small text it says delivered.
Immediately I want to throw my phone across the room. Now here I am, standing in the middle of the record shop with a death grip on my phone waiting for a boy who I barely know to answer my text.
While in need of collecting myself, I calmly place my phone in the back pocket of my jeans I changed into from this morning. My ripped denim and tight black halter was all I wore today.
I didn't have any classes so my day was completely clear. Anna and I had gone separate ways after coffee. She was supposedly hanging out with some friends from her english class. She invited me, but I would have rather done something else.
Anna and I spent so much time together usually that it was nice for her to go and get out some other times. I'm really glad she's been spending a lot of time with Grant as well. He seems like a really good guy, and I need to get to know him better.
I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket a moment later, making my entire being freeze. I took my hand off the vinyl I had picked up, placing it back in its original position with shaky hands.
Why am I so nervous?
I slowly reach my hand into my pocket, taking out my phone to see the notification.
Harry: Hi love.
It reads so clearly that I think I've imagined it. His grey message underneath my blue one very clearly responded to mine.
Harry: I've been waiting for this text all day Blue, I didn't think you would let my number sit on your desk for decoration.
I chuckle to myself at his smartass personality. I continue my walk through the record store, trying to find a quiet place to sit. I didn't want to continue standing, possibly being in someone's way, as I texted.
I spot a small arrangement of cushioned chairs in a back corner. I make my way over, sitting down in a smaller blue one.
Me: It just fit the theme of my room so well.
I typed quickly and hit send. I watch as the little grey bubble with three dots in the center pops up. I'm surprised he's responding. Grayson never did.
Harry: Mhm. Meet me?
Was he done with his errands? I thought he had things to do today. I suppose he finished with them after he had left this morning.
Me: I'm in the local vinyl shop.
There's only one vinyl shop around campus, he knows the one I'm talking about.
Harry: I'm across the street at La Madeleine. I'll be there soon.
La Madeleine was a cute restaurant that a ton of college students went to for lunch, it was quick and easy for in between classes.
With that and an excited giggle escaping my lips, I stand from my chair and head towards the modern wall for the vinyls.
My eyes scanning over every popular artist today, nothing necessarily catching my eye. I ran my fingers along the rim of every piece of film plastic covering the cases.
Usually when I buy vinyls, I buy them used. The turntable I have sits on top of my dresser back at the apartment. It's light grey and I love it.
Vinyl records are so much more fun playing than having it play from my phone. I have all the classics from Fleetwood Mac to Etta James.
My fantasies of dancing in the kitchen like it's a dance floor are minimal and unrealistic. Everyone dreams though.
I shuffled through a few more selections
I hear the chime at the entrance door, knowing someone had just walked through. I watch as I see his curly head of shoulder length hair walk into the store. His head is on a swivel looking around for me, his eyes soon catching mine.
A bright smile appears on his face as I give a shy smile back. I glanced at his attire, he changed I suppose.
He wore black skinny jeans as always with a button up that has intriguing designs with colors of browns and blacks littering the material in geometric shapes.
"Hi love." He repeats his text to me outloud, making me smile brighter at him.
"Hi Harry." I say back to him, glancing at him quickly then going back to my previous record.
As I continue examining the record, flipping it over to see the track list. I watch as he mimics my movements out of my peripheral vision. I don't say anything, just continuing my search for new music.
I pick up a newly pressed vinyl of the 70s movie Grease, flipping it over to look at the back. The tracklist of this movie was definitely one of my favorites.
I saw Harry watching me from the corner of my eye and I set the Grease vinyl down, switching to another. The atmosphere seemed awkward, neither of us knowing what to talk about.
I could feel his presence behind me. He scoops my blonde hair in his hands and pulls it gently so all of it rests on my back side. He runs his hands down my shoulders and arms, speaking quietly.
"Let me take you somewhere, Blue."
I turn my head to make eye contact with him. My confused glare meets his hopeful one, and I slowly nod.
He chuckles lowly at my hesitation. He swipes his hand through his dark hair quickly, pushing it from his face as he peers down at me for a moment.
I feel him intertwining our fingers and pull me towards the exit as I question where the hell he could possibly be taking me.
As I am dragged out the door, he glances back at me, sensing my nervousness once more.
"Don't worry Blue, we are just walking, no need to be frightened." He reassures me, practically reading my mind.
Damn how does he just know everything?
My nerves are settled and I quickly focus on the direction he is leading me towards. I know we are walking North of campus and the only things down here are a children's playground and a club. A stripclub. There is no way. I know we are comfortable with each other but not "Hey lets do some bonding and go to a stripclub" kind of comfortable.
I halt my current steps causing Harry to look back at me getting ready to speak.
I interrupted him, "Are you taking me to a stripclub?" I furrow my eyebrows trying to convey the message.
"Because I know you are a guy, and I know you have um- needs? But why are you taking me? I would much rather look at records than naked women." I rush out quickly.
His laugh fills the air so quickly I almost feel embarrassed.
"Blue stop. Why do you think I would go to a stripclub at this hour, especially with you?" He says confused by my previous statement.
"So, you aren't taking me to a stripclub?" I questioned.
"No I am not, unless you want to..." He smirks back at me, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Damn sadly there are just too many clouds in the sky for me to enjoy... naked...women?" I spit out internally questioning myself.
"Got it strippers when there are less clouds in the sky I'll take a mental note." He states
He continues to pull me North, father and farther from campus. He passes the strip club with a small smirk on his lip. His large hand is still engulfing mine. I can feel the rings on his fingers as he tugs me along. His long legs allow him to walk faster than me. I'm relatively tall, but in comparison to him, I'm not.
He leads me over a patch of grass and towards a children's park. It was at the beginning of an apartment complex not far from the edge of campus.
"A park" I say stating my realization that we in fact weren't going to see strippers.
"Yes, you are correct Blue this is in fact a park." He says quickly, dropping my hand and running towards the swings.
I watch as he sprints over to the metal chained swings like a child. I laugh to myself at his childness and begin my walk over to him.
I walk through the playground mulch, watching him lightly move back and forth on the swing. His legs are still completely on the ground.
"Take a seat, Blake." He gestures his hand towards the empty swing next to him.
I grab onto the chain pulling it towards me, taking my seat in the plastic that was the swing. I move my feet just like his, back and forth.
My legs were shorter than his so once I began moving the soles of my feet weren't completely flat on the ground.
He watches my every movement once more. He tends to do that. He tends to study what I'm doing like he's trying to figure out a mystery.
"Thank you for last night." He mumbles under his breath, kicking his feet at the mulch.
"What do you mean? I didn't do anything." I question, looking at him curiously. If he was referring to the fact that I left him hanging in the bathroom with a boner, he deserved it.
"I wouldn't have made it home by myself." He tells me, continuing to look at his feet. Anna was the one who drove us, we should be thanking her.
"Oh. Well it was nothing Harry. No problem." I shrug it off with a wave of my hand nonchalantly.
"You also let me have fun last night. I haven't had fun in a while." His voice was at such a low whisper I couldn't even tell if he truly wanted me to hear it.
"Oh." I whisper in return, not knowing how to respond.
"Yeah." He sighs.
"Why don't you have fun Harry?" I question him cautiously. He never tells me anything. I don't expect a full response.
"Reasons." He states shortly. I turn my head away from him so he can't see my eye roll. All I want to do is learn a bit more about him and he won't tell me anything.
"Well okay then." I respond back dramatically and sarcastically. He definitely noticed it.
"What about you?" He says quietly, knowing I'm upset he won't tell me anything.
I decided to let it go. If he didn't want to tell me, he doesn't have to. Trust comes with time I suppose.
"What about me?" I wonder to him, both of us are beginning to swing a bit higher.
"What's your story?" He questions, his gaze meeting mine.
"I don't really have one." I mumble in response, my life wasn't that interesting.
"I know that's not true." He presses, he seems interested in getting to know me. Maybe if I let him in some, he will return the favor.
"Well. I'm a sophomore at USC, my major is biology. I'm trying to get into med school after I get my undergraduate degree to become an orthopedist." I stop myself, "but you know this already."
"I want to hear more." He tells me truthfully, both of us swinging at a consistent pace.
"Um.. I'm an only child, my mom wasn't able to have kids after me. My dad died when I was eight, Anna has been my best friend since forever." I stop to take a deep breath after mentioning my dad.
Harry's swinging slows down at the mention of my father as well.
"I have only had two boyfriends in my entire life, Grayson and a guy named Andrew who was in my advanced calculus class junior year." I continue my ramble about my life as he listens intently.
"I read every chance I get. Only because false realities are more fun than real life. I hate cars because of my dad. I love sushi and crave it everyday but I can't afford it." Out of breath I stop my ramble. He looks over at me with wide eyes and I realize I've probably said too much.
"Woah." Was all he said and I internally cringe.
"Sorry that was a lot." I apologize quickly. The memories of my dad and I sometimes come back in flashes. I don't have many, but the ones I do I appreciate.
"That's why I'm nervous in cars. And why I hate hard core drugs too." I continue telling him, letting out a shaky breath.
"Why do you hate hard core drugs?" He questions, probably not understanding what that has to do with my father's death.
"Because the guy who killed my father was on heroin." My voice was short, but not in a rude way, just the sentence itself held a lot of emotion.
"Oh." Was all he said.
His face and demeanor seemed to change after I told him that. His posture got straighter and his eyes went a little wide.
He seemed shocked at the information. I wasn't surprised, most people were. I just hope he didn't pitty me for it.
The tears run down my cheeks freely now, I can't stop them anymore. My mind is racing with every memory of my father, my mom coming home crying, me never seeing him after he left. It was all coming back to me. Every memory I had tried so hard to forget about.
Harry seemed to hear my silent sobs as when I opened my eyes I saw him crouched in front of me. His hands rested softly on my knees stopping my swaying.
"Oh my Blue baby." He whispers softly, his hands reaching up to cradle my face using his thumbs to wipe my tears from under my eyes.
"I miss him, Harry." I pour my whole life story out to the boy in front of me, who I barely know anything about. Even though I've had trust issues for so long he seemed to walk right through them and I didn't even notice.
"Baby, I know you do. He's in a better place though, I promise." His reassuring words only make more tears slip from my eyes, coating my lashes. His thumbs continue to stroke my cheeks. He sits there with me, only mumbling sweet words and reassuring phrases.
He seems to get it.
He stands a little bit taller to bring his face to mine, capturing our lips in a sweet kiss. He's trying so hard to make me feel better. I can taste my tears on my lips, him not making the kiss about anything sexual. He just wanted to take the pain away.
His lips depart from mine, and his green eyes capture mine once more. Once he sees that I'm okay, he grabs my hand giving it a squeeze before he takes his seat at his swing again.
We both sat in silence for minutes. The time continues to flow and we sit in our swings, the slight creaking coming from the chains.
"I don't like verbally saying goodbye." This would be the last I'd say on the subject. I hate goodbyes. It was the last thing my father ever said to me as he walked out the door.
Goodbyes were permanent. They had no indication of the person ever coming back. See you soon was better.
"Why?" He asked curiously, his posture was more relaxed now, not as rigid and uptight.
"The last thing he said to me was goodbye. Goodbyes are permanent." Telling Harry this seemed to be rather easy. He listened and never made me feel stupid or embarrassed.
"Well then. You won't hear a goodbye from me." He states confidently. It makes my heart race.
"What will you say instead?" I turn my head to face him, finding him already facing mine.
"Until tomorrow."
A/N: Blake is played by Scarlet Leithold if anyone is wondering. I know I didn't put their real names in the introduction, but I will through out the story.
Follow my tiktok and twitter in my bio for updates on chapters. I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU!!