I'm inside a huge white space. I don't discern any edges, or walls. So am I really inside? It's so white it hurts my eyes. Do I have eyes? And if not? How can it hurt? I think I lift my arm, but I don't see it. Do I have arms? Or no eyes? And that's why I don't see my arm? Am I here? And where is here?
It is all so confusing. What was I doing before? What am I supposed to do now? Why am I here? It's silent here, or is it not? Or don't I have ears? Do I have a body? Or am I just thoughts?
All of this happens within seconds but it feels like it takes hours. And I don't realize I'm in a loop. A circle if you will, and after the last thought it's like waking up again. And the whole process starts anew.
And I don't have any clue how long it's already happening? How many run-throughs have already happened? And thinking is very difficult and feels very heavy. It's like wading through gelatin, and an image of a huge bowl filled with gelatin pops in front of me. Or is it inside my head? Anyway I'm sinking down into the gelatin and moving is very difficult. And it feels kinda like a deja-vu.
Wasn't I supposed to rescue someone while being stuck? Who am I supposed to rescue? And wasn't there someone helping me? Who was it? And who am I? Do I even exist?
And the cycle starts again, and every time I lose the memory of it. Time passes. Is there even such a thing as time? What is my purpose? Shouldn't I be doing something? Is there even someone else here? Or am I all alone? Weren't there important people waiting for me? How many were there?
Was it 4? No, that doesn't feel right. It's more. Seven? Yeah seven. That feels more like it. But who are they? They feel important. Why is that? I feel like I'm hurting. Like something is cut off. But I can't feel pain, right? I'm not real. Maybe I'm just a thought in someone's head. Thought up to entertain themselves. But why?
Slowly the circle gets bigger and bigger. So it takes longer to run through. Thoughts are added and I'm slowly regaining my sense of self. The first name to pop up is my own. At least I think it's mine. I can't ask anyone, but it feels female. Am I female?
The second name popping in my mind doesn't tell me anything. I don't know who Yoongi is. Is it me? No I can't be, it doesn't feel like that. But when his name floats around me, the pain grows. It's like he is cut off. But cut off how? How are we connected?
The third name has the same thoughts run through me. I'm slowly going insane. Or am I already there? I don't know. But with every new name I feel more alive and present. And names keep popping up and there are so many repeating over and over.
Yoongi, Taehyung, Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin. Those seven out of all of the names that play like a recording mean the most to me. But I can't remember why. Why?
And the circle keeps growing, even if I don't remember it happens. And for me it feels like it's over in seconds, but a logical voice keeps whispering. And the voice grows stronger and stronger. Something isn't right here. But what?
And as it gets louder I think it's my own voice. It feels very familiar. Supplying me with information. And slowly I remember who I am, and who the seven are. And even the other names make sense, but aren't as important as the seven.
'Soulmates,' rings suddenly loudly around me. Soulmates? Is there such a thing? And it becomes so overpowering that it scatters all other thoughts away. I have soulmates? Seven? No, that's not right. Or is it?
And then I remember I have 4 Soulmates and wear the mark of a potential fifth one. And the other two names? I think they are mine too. Just not bonded yet.
And as time progresses it all falls back into place. I'm Y/n, also known as Aqua. An Idol, soulmate to 4 of the members of BTS. And my former members of Gemstones are trying something. Is this it? No, no I now remember Chul-Moo.
The white space around me gets a blue hue, and I'm floored with sadness when I remember Chul-Moo killed Yong. All just to get to me. But why though?
Am I back enough to myself so I can contact Yoongi? I try but nothing happens. Why can't I reach him? Am I too far away? We drove for a long time before I fell asleep. And now I realize he drugged me with sleeping gas. I don't have a clue what happened after and how long I am shackled by this white space. All sense of time is lost on me.
Slowly I regain my sense of body and feel myself lying down. I try to move my arms but nothing happens. I'm still immobile even if it doesn't feel like that.
Can I pull Jin to me? I try and try but I stay alone. Maybe he isn't sleeping and that's why it won't work. Can I send Taehyung how I feel? How do I feel? It's all mellow. Muffled, like a lot of cotton pressing down on me. Completely cocooned by it.
I keep trying to reach them. Over and over. I even try Namjoon, even if I don't have a clue how to get into his mind. But I get nothing back. It's all gone.
The changes are subtle, but at some point the white starts to thin. I move my fingers and get elated when I feel them move. And I even feel fabric, so I'm lying on a bed. Or is my brain so over active and I'm imagining all of this happening?
To distract myself from the depressing thoughts and not reaching the guys I start to count. I lose count a couple of times, but start again at 1. Many, many counts later I feel myself slipping into fully awake.
I keep my eyes closed and don't move, just listening. I can hear myself breathe but that's it. And just as I'm about to open my eyes and lift my arm I hear a second person breathing. I freeze up and relax back down.
I listen but no new sounds are added. Just breathing. And I stay like I am, waiting for something else. Anything to tell me who it is. The time passes and suddenly I hear snoring. The person fell asleep. But still I don't open my eyes. What if there is a second person, breathing in sync with the first so I couldn't hear it.
I keep listening, and jump when suddenly a door is thrown open. The sleeping person startles awake and grumbles something I can't understand. "Is she still not awake?" The new person asks and I'm floored when I recognize the voice. I never suspected her.
Is she doing this alone? Or are there more I didn't suspect? "No," the man grumbles, "you better leave if you don't want her to know it's you. She might wake any moment. I'll watch her." He tells her. "Watch her?" She says and she snorts. "You were sleeping. How are you watching her when you sleep? Anyway, once she is awake, secure her like we discussed so she won't need constant supervision and then you can carry out the next phase of the plan." She hauntingly tells him and he grunts as a response. I hear her huff and then leave.
He gets up and closes the door. So if the plan can only continue once I'm awake, I better not let them know. I keep my eyes closed and try to reach Yoongi again. I'm fully awake now, so it should work now, right? I try, but it feels like the thoughts slam back into my brain. Like they bounce off of something. What? How?
That has never happened before. How is that possible? Does this mean he can't reach me either? I try all my connections, but with all it slams back into me. And for Jin's I need to sleep. Consciously relaxing all my muscles, even my brain, I slowly drift deeper into glorious blackness.
I get propelled into the nightmare right away, but Jin doesn't come. I keep calling and calling. He probably isn't sleeping. I don't know if it's daytime or nighttime. Bummer, now I still can't reach anyone of them. And I watch Sexy die again before me. Luckily I don't wake up in shock so I can keep the ruse going longer.
The next time I'm awake, I pretend to still be sleeping and just lie there listening. Time passes but I don't know how much. The loss of time is unnerving but if I want to stall them I need to keep doing this. Let's see how stupid he is?
Suddenly he grunts and I hear him get up, take very loud strides to me and I know this is it. Now it's over. He grabs my shoulders and shakes me violently. I gasp and my eyes fly open of their own accord. Fuck, now I can't pretend anymore.
"I knew you must be awake. I took the iv out two days ago." He grunts above and I try to lift my arms to push him off me, but I can't move them. And now I feel the bands around my wrists. Why didn't I notice that before? I don't dwell on it and dismiss it, looking up at him.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask him and my voice sounds scratchy. He releases my shoulders as he stands up, turns around and walks to a table. When he gets back he's holding a syringe, and as I can't move my arm he has free access. The syringe enters my arm, and he shoots the liquid into my body. And a numbing feeling starts at the spot where the needle entered my arm.
Slowly my whole body feels numb and I can't move no matter how much I try. My mind is still present though so I register everything that happens. I don't question him further. He probably doesn't even know why he is doing this. Her telling him what to do proves that.
He releases my wrists and I would jump up and run away but nothing happens and he switches my bed for a dentist chair. What? Why? I get strapped to it again and he promptly leaves me alone in the room after positioning the chair so I'm sitting more upright.
And now it gets boring as the time passes me. And I let my eyes rove around the room, but other than a bed, a table and a chair there is nothing in the room. The walls are made of concrete and the floor is too. It gives me a factory kind of vibe.
Eventually I fall asleep again and try to call for Jin right away, but again nothing happens. I don't understand why? Why will he not come? Is he still awake? And sleeps when I'm awake and we miss each other? But what about Yoongi and Taehyung? When I try them, it gets send back into my body. Like it bounces off the wall and can't go anywhere else than my body.
The mood in the house is one of death. Just like how I feel. Y/n has been missing for three days now. The police has no new clues so far, but both her bodyguards are missing too. Are they the ones responsible for her disappearance?
Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook have locked themselves in their room and only come out to use the bathroom or eat. Hoseok has buried himself into work and comes home late and leaves before the rest of us is awake.
Jin has taken up residence in the kitchen and is just cooking and what we don't eat gets brought to the company by Hoseok. I myself just go through the motion and keep it together as much as I can. If one of them were to seek comfort I'm ready.
But most importantly I need to get Yoongi out of his funk. He's taken it the hardest. I haven't seen him in three days. So he never left his room, not even to eat.
I visit the kitchen and make a plate of food for him and walk up to his room. I open the door slowly and I see him lying under the blanket, his back to the door. I walk in and close the door.
Nearing the bed I place the plate on the bedside table. I sit down on the edge and look at his face. He's awake and just staring ahead. My shoulders slump while I think on what to say so he will snap out if it.
"I can't reach her. I keep getting it back with a delay. Like she is behind something it can't penetrate." He suddenly croaks, sobbing after. His entire frame shakes with the sobs. It is probably the first thing he said for three days. I sigh, "I know," and he turns to me, watery eyes looking up at me.
"But you need to pull yourself together. Once we find her you need to be strong for her. She will need it. If we support each other we can get through this. The others and me feel the same, you're not alone." I say and reassure myself too. We need to keep it together. Who knows what has happened to her.
We stare at each other, and eventually I see a change in his eyes. They dry up, and he slowly sits up. I give him the plate and he gives me a brief smile. He slowly eats and I sit, giving each other comfort in silence. I get the plate when he is finished and I get up from the bed.
Yoongi follows me and enters the bathroom and I walk on to the kitchen. Getting into the hallway I hear the TV and make a detour to the living room. And to my surprise everyone except Yoongi is watching the TV.
I sit down on an empty seat and listen to the news segment. Appenrently there are two more people who were attacked but as it didn't happen in Seoul, it took some time for the police to make the connection. At the moment there are only two people alive of the 25 attacked. And I'm shocked to hear 23 died.
And the next segment is hard to see and hear. It's about the disappearance of Y/n. And when a picture pops up I can't keep the tears away and let them roll down my face. Taehyung hugs me from the side and when I glance at him he smiles sadly at me and I see tears roll down his face too.
When the segment is over I get up and walk to my room. I need to be alone, at least for a while. I burrow into my bed and eventually fall asleep.
I'm alone in the room for a very long time. But as there is no clock I really don't know. All I know is I'm strapped to this stupid chair, hungry and thristy beyond I've ever been. I feel weak, and I can't connect with the guys.
I drift in and out of sleep multiple times, so I suspect days pass. The hunger growing with every waking moment. My mouth is so parched its like it's glued together. And breathing through my mouth hurts.
Suddenly the door opens and I'm alert right away. Chul-Moo comes into the room holding a tray, a big smile on his face. He places it on the table and comes my way with a glass of water. He helps me drink and I do greedily. When the glass is empty he feeds me a sandwich and as I chew I observe him. I don't bother talking, he won't answer me anyway, so what's the point?
He starts to buzz with jittery energy the less there is of the sandwich. And when the last bite is in my mouth he jumps up claps his hands, giggles and rolls the chair, and me with it out of the room.
"Finally the last phase can start and then it's over. I can't wait. She's almost mine."