A baby-pink painted bedroom. Hung on the walls were counterfeit plants in small attractive clay jardiniere, then some few cartoon characters atop the P.O.P, just right for a growing little Princess. Zainab smiled as she tucked the girl into bed then sat beside her laid frame, the beautiful shawl on her hair hung loosely over her left shoulder and she chanted the night duas softly.
On the table near the bed sprawled around the girl's toys, crayons and some white papers which weren't white anymore. She'd made so many attempted drawings of her and her mother. Her family. Zainab smiled at the girl's creativity. She looked over at the girl once again, and she, she felt pride swirl in her heart. Keeping Leila was the best decision she'd ever make!
She arranged the table, walked to the door and switched the lights before she exited. Instead of her to sleep too, she sat down alone in the living room, in the radiance of the faint lightening.
Her eyes descended on the laptop she'd left on while getting her daughter ready for bed, and her face became more serious than before.
'Being able to make a change...means being at the top Aabu'
Her hands reached for the bridge of her nose and she huffed a tired breath. When would she stop relating happenings to her mother's wise words? She knew what her answer might be.
It would be impossible to erase the teachings and principles which her mother instilled in her. But behold...seemed she was the only one who knew how much she'd never drag those teachings in the mud. One mistake, and everyone judged her; one decision and she'd been disowned.
She pushed her head backwards and hit the edge of the black sofa in an attempt to dismiss her depressing thoughts. The cotton shawl on her hair was toppling off and she held onto it, took up the laptop and went to her room, adjacent to that of Leila.
'When you find something right
And it keeps you happy,
Aabu hold onto it'
She closed the laptop with great force then laid down, but as always she wasn't able to sleep, not that she'd care, but then, surprisingly...that night something else appeared to keep her awake. Revolving here and there in her mind.
Ruwaida Mahmoud
She sprang up on the bed, brooding over Dr Muhammad and his wife's last visit to her office. She looked around the room without a course. She'd never felt such attachment with any of her patients before.
Again, she dragged her laptop and brought it to her laps, soon, talking to one of her college mate over her Skype application.
The video call went in instantly and she heard a feast of shuffling in the background. "Do you have to call me this early? Oh- forgot the time is quite different," the small voice hoarsely spoke, then appeared over the screen.
"Yeah it is," Zainab laughed at her friend's bushy hair. "Quite late here too,"
"I see...so what's up? You don't just call me anymore...," the young woman joked, even tho, there was much truth to it, but Zainab had her reasons for not keeping in touch. They both knew she couldn't. It was impractical to bury memories, but better for the heart to stay away from that which brings them back; afresh.
"Tasha you're an oncologist and that, a great one...I need your help,"
"Sure bruh! whatcu need?," Tasha adjusted her phone and sat properly, all signs of sleep leaving her system instantly.
"I'm sending you some transcripts of a leukemia patient's medication records...if feasible, I would like to know the therapeutics that could possibly work at her stage of cell overgrowth,"
"Alright I'll be waiting, and be expecting my call by tomorrow," Tasha gridded her screen so she could view the jpeg files which Zainab sent to her before she looked up with a reassuring smile. "I'll look at it Zeynep...you should get some sleep," Zainab smiled back with a slight nod before she'd end the call.
She hoped for that sleep so dearly.
When she felt something tucking her hands and face , an unbeknownst smile etched across her face. That was how Leila woke her every morning. The girl was an early sleeper and an early raiser into the bargain. "Mama wake up,"
"I'm awake! I'm awake," Tho, she hadn't much sleep, she was still able to get Leila ready for school, and also make it early to work. Her neighbor in the apartment suggested she drops Leila since after all, her twins attended the same school, turned out to be a great relief to Zainab.
Zainab threw herself in one of the armchairs in the office which she shared with Dr Aisha. Her stay in the hospital was most of a contract, reason why she'd to share an office and also a few patients to attend to. Aisha returned from the early meetings and they both worked in silence, each busy with her own thoughts.
Zainab's were in turbulence, as Tasha had still not texted nor called her. And if her perceptions were right, then the day in Kuching Malaysia was almost over and Tasha had promised to call the very next day!
"Just sitting and placing the pen on your lips isn't going to help much," Aisha spoke, with a sort of curiosity. "Have something then maybe we could talk," She'd noticed Zainab to have being in with a look of blind misery in her eyes, although, Zainab mostly looked that way, but that day Aisha could see it quite prominently as there was no will nor power in Zainab to hide it.
"I ate something before I left home, thank you, I'm just a little stressed," she replied and pushed a smile.
"Talk about it, Zainab," Aisha enthused, gently, before she moved to sit closer to Zainab. "I've been noticing you...I'm sorry if that seems stalky, but you always look pale and in a low spirit. I hope there's nothing which bothers you?,"
Indeed! There was nothing bothering her. Everything bothered her! But she need not to tell Aisha about it, she felt safer while knowing her past was far from someone having its acquaintance. "No...I actually am just stressed, do not worry," She placed down the pen she held and smiled. The smile never reached her eyes.
"If you insist then I won't pressure you, take care of yourself," Zainab gave her a contemptuous nod watching as Aisha took some files from her table then dashed out.
A loud sigh escaped her lips and she sank into the twirling chair. She needed something to take her mind of the stress revolving her world, and binge watching series during work hours was nothing out of the ordinary for her.
And that she did. Amidst her movie, a mail came in and she was reluctant to check at first, not wanting to exit the film. Despite that, after having a war with her subconscious, had she checked through her newest mails.
She smiled joyously. "Oh Tasha!," She murmured and stood from her chair in promptitude. She picked the file which Dr M abandoned on her desk out of fury and she took the stairs to his office.
Muhammad sat with his chin scuttled into his large hand, staring unblinkingly at some papers in his other hand. Haven't found the door slightly opened, she knocked then walked in.
"Dr Zainab?," Muhammad raised his head abruptly as he noticed her. He pointed towards the vacant sit on his left and she sat down without a word. "Something wrong? Is there a new patient in the ward?,"
Zainab shook her head impatiently then passed the phone to him. He hesitated, subsequently stretched his hand and took it. "I talked to my friend in Kuching...about Ruwaida," He closed his eyes briefly indicating his unwillingness to discuss such at that time.
He was checking through the mails lamely, and all her joy went downhill. That was not what she'd expected to be his reaction. "And she said that this would help? Fruit therapy?," He inched the phone slightly.
"She's a very good onco...,"
"Dr Zainab,"
"You should listen first...she'd suggested two options there, either fruit therapy or bone marrow transplant...,"
He refused to allow her speak. "You don't understand, that second suggestion is as risky as death Zainab...I can't risk my wife's life," He looked at her sternly and she turned to face him directly. It was going to be a long difficult talk.
"Dr Muhammad isn't she worth taking the risk for? Don't you wish to see her up and good again?," she put out a hand on the desk in gestures.
"I don't know," Muhammad huffed and passed back the phone to her. " I really do not know...Waida is...! Ya Allah what should I say? I just don't want anything to happen to her...,"
"If you really claim to not want anything bad to happen then you should be ready to accept any medication. It would be even riskier to just stay put of therapy Dr M," And she went on. "Someone once told me, A try is better than not trying, at least...it eventually becomes a lesson if not an achievement," she smiled with sadness incised in her eyes.
"We've tried Zainab, the chemotherapy, the oral drugs, she ain't getting better," There was silence for a while before Zainab spoke.
"We never know, maybe this is what Allah has destined...we should try, Allah will help her with His might," Zainab sounded cheerful.
He reasoned with her. "Fine! What's next?,"
She took back her phone and grinned. "You meet Tasha in Malaysia,"
******
Going for a honeymoon eh?! 😅
:( I don't think so
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