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the autumn chill that wakes me up,
you loved the amber skies so much
long limbs and frozen swims
you'd always go past where our feet could touch
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The eerie darkness and ominous silence roaming around her room and through her mindset of what she would call a 'dreamless sleep' was, bizarrely, what woke her up in a cold sweat.
She jumped as she sat upwards, ripping the duvet off the upper half of her body and started panting, frantically looking around as she slowly started to calm down, noticing her surroundings.
Looking to her left and out the window next to her bed, she realised dawn had just broken over the horizon, creating small rays of gold and red through the once peaceful, dark sky, now filling her room with a golden glow.
She figured it was around five-thirty, maybe six o'clock.
She lay back onto the bed, staring at the roof and looking at the green and purple paint and crayon marks from when she was little and would jump on the beds, drawing and painting on the roof with Draco.
The same recurring nightmare had clouded her head for the last six years. The same nightmare where she would be tortured with her mothers screaming as she was suffering from her own torture, the same nightmare where she would witness her mother's eyes darken and body stiffen, losing the light of life in them, the same nightmare where she would be constantly on the run from death eaters, like she was a wanted prisoner, causing her to constantly be filled with anxiety and paranoia, the same nightmare where she reunited with her mother later on, but this time in a different place above the clouds.
Accepting that she wasn't going to get back to sleep anytime soon, she decided to start getting ready.
Climbing out of her bed, she walked to her wardrobe to pick out her clothes for the train and went straight into her bathroom to shower and get ready. Shutting the bathroom door behind her, she became more excited by the second to finally get back to Hogwarts with her friends and out of the suffocating manor.
By the time she had gotten out of the bathroom, the sun was now bright enough to create shadows from the many trees the manor was surrounded by, the light beaming into her room through her bare window.
She looked out of it again, this time into the manor's garden which was almost directly under her window. She noticed the flowers, the grass, the memories that came with them. The lilies her and Draco once picked, the grass they once laid in, looking at the stars and deciding which ones were the prettiest even though they had no idea how which ones they were, the water fountain they always used to push each other in and splash each other with only to get scolded later on in the day.
She missed him, how they were back then without the troubles of the world on their shoulders, the old them.
Her eyes were captured by the peonies in the corner that had been planted over the summer a few years ago which had finally started to bloom. The only disadvantage of having them as your favourite flower was that they took a around ten years to do so.
Chloe heard a faint knock on the door as she turned around before it opened and she heard Narcissa's voice.
"Chloe, darling-" she started to say before she realised Chloe was already dressed and making her bed. "Oh, you're already up," she smiled, "I just wanted to make sure you were awake, we're leaving in about three hours."
That means it was around seven o'clock.
" Oh, ok," Chloe nodded, "thanks"
"Are you alright, darling?" Narcissa asked.
"Fine," Chloe replied, "just didn't sleep well"
Narcissa gave her a sympathetic look as she walked around the bed to give her a small hug and a kiss on the forehead.
"Remember, if you ever need anything," she started to remind her.
"I know, thank you, Cissy," Chloe hugged her again and smiled at her.
"Now to go try to wake up the other child for the fifth time," she joked, sighing as she left the room to go force Draco to wake up again, shutting Chloe's bedroom door behind her.
Just as Chloe had finished making her bed she heard a loud bang against the window. She jumped slightly as she turned around to see an owl's smushed face on the other side of the glass. She laughed as she recognised it to be Daphne's screech owl, Ivy.
Quickly walking up to the window and opening it before the owl fell down two stories to the ground, she grabbed the letter from the owl's beak. Ivy looked at her expectantly.
"Sorry, Ivy" Chloe shrugged, "I don't have anything for you, I don't have an owl"
Ivy huffed and harshly bit her finger. "Ow," Chloe hissed, snatching her finger away from Ivy's mouth, seeing a small bead of blood drip down the side of her finger. "I thought you liked me," she muttered as she started cleaning her finger and put a small bandage on it.
Ivy's expression didn't change.
"Fine, I'll see what I've got," she gave in, now searching her room for something suitable for an owl to eat. Finally finding a small packet of cashews in her bag, she ripped the packet open and gave Ivy a few.
"I don't even know if owls are allowed to-" she couldn't even finish her sentence before Ivy had hooted happily, pecked her finger as a way of saying sorry and flown off into the distance. Chloe shrugged and opened the letter Daphne sent.
Hi Chloe,
It feels like forever since I've spoken to you.
During the summer, we went to Greece. Fancy, I know. It was so so so pretty, but not as pretty as me (and definitely not as pretty as you). I almost got grounded for trying to push Astoria off one of the piers in Preveza. She didn't fall in which was very disappointing. She did stumble quite a bit though, which made her scream. But I actually did get grounded the next day when I tried to push her off the boat. She fell in and then threw her shoes at my head. Long story short, they hit me, it hurt.
Anyways, I'm so glad we can finally go back to Hogwarts soon so I can finally get away from her. You know, she fed my bird chocolate! Birds aren't supposed to have chocolate! I started training her to bite people, sorry if she bit you.
Chloe wondered if Daphne would tell her off for giving Ivy nuts.
Probably.
Anyways,
I heard something about Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban. I don't know much about the situation but if you ever need anything or want to talk about anything, I'm always here for you <3
Hope you're ok!
Mum says hi.
Also, don't worry about writing back. Ivy's a bit dumb so she probably flew away already. I'll see you at the station in a few hours anyway.
I miss you, see you on the train,
- Love, Daph
Chloe laughed at the letter before folding it neatly and putting it on a shelf in her wardrobe where the rest of her letters from her friends were.
She moved onto packing the final things into her suitcase before another owl flew straight through her open window, hitting the wall next to her head face-first as Chloe let out a small scream.
"Holy fuc- oh it's you," she gasped.
She looked at the brown clump of an owl next to her, which was frantically rolling around on the ground, trying to stand up again before finally getting to its feet.
She beamed brightly at the bird as she realised it to be the Tonks'. She untied the letter, beaming brightly as she recognised her aunty Andromeda's neat handwriting on the front along with a small package tied to the bird's foot.
Excitement filling her, she quickly ripped open the letter:
Dearest Chloe,
September first, you know what that means.
Merlin, I can't believe you are starting your third year already. You're going to have so much fun, I promise, third year was one of my favourite years.
I miss my little angel, or not so little anymore, so much and I hope you have the best third year, you really deserve it.
Try to keep up the good work in your studies, too.
I remember when I was in third year, I started doing divination and it was one of my favourite classes. I remember you telling us you picked that subject for this year too. I hope you enjoy it!
I love you and I'm so proud of you. - A
Hi, Ted here,
Wow, third year.
Honestly, I don't remember much from mine.
I think that was the year Dumbledore jumped in the Black Lake? Maybe that was fourth, I'm not sure. You know me, bad memory.
Anyways, I love you, Chloe, and I really miss you. I wish you all the best for your third year and I hope you have a lot of fun, get at least one detention for me, please. (Sorry Andy:)).
I hope we get to see you soon!! - T
Holy f̶u̶c̶k̶ Chloe, third year already!
Dora didn't even have to introduce herself in the letter for Chloe to know when she started writing.
In my third year, I made the knights scream at people in French whenever they walked past. I think I need to give you a few more pranking lessons, I haven't heard anything big from Dumbledore about you yet, clearly, you're doing something wrong.
And I KNOW you know french so there's no reason why you can't do that too ;)
I miss you, you're one of my favourite people
I hope you have a great third year (and hopefully do something memorable for once) and have SO much fun t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶e̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶
Good luck!! Can't wait to see you when I can!
The next part of the letter was filled with black ink blotches.
Sorry, knocked the ink bottle over. - D
We went to Diagon Alley last week especially for you and got you some new things for the school year if you'd like to use them. Expect many more letters from us throughout the year. Good luck!
Also, please try to stay safe and out of Hogsmeade this year if you can. (I put my signature on the bottom just in case you needed one for something ;)).
We all miss you so much and can't wait to see you as soon as possible.
Love Andy, Ted, Dora
Chloe started tearing up at the letter. She hadn't seen the Tonks' for around 6 years since her mother was attacked. They still owled each other pretty much every day but it wasn't the same.
She folded the letter and put it in a small, special box in her wardrobe where the rest of the Tonks' letters were before opening the gift.
A dark purple quill, which was now her new favourite, a couple of chocolate frogs, a new notebook, and a few small stick things with a pointy tip on one side and a clicky thing on the other. Chloe furrowed her eyebrows at the object, confused yet intrigued.
There was also a small polaroid attached to the letter from one of Ted's muggle cameras. The picture showed the three Tonks', Andromeda, Ted and Dora, standing together as a family, all smiling at the camera with a small, four-year-old Chloe in the middle.
There was a second photo too, though this one looked a little more recent than the other one (and a lot messier and less formal, Dora must have snuck this photo in when her mother wasn't looking). It showed Dora, all fuzzy and blurry as if the photo was taken while she was running (probably from Ted), and laughing at something.
She quickly wrote a note thanking the Tonks' for everything before putting everything back in her bag, ready to take to Hogwarts.
By now it was around nine o'clock. Narcissa had previously said they were going to leave at around ten o'clock to ten-thirty so she still had around an hour.
She turned to her nightstand, which had a bottle of water, a spare hair tie, her wand and a copy of 'The House Of Spirits', the book she was currently reading, sat on it.
She reached for the book, examining the rounded, and a little rumpled, edges and pages of the outside and her hand-made bookmark slotted in on page 346 for at least the thirtieth time. Her mother had given her this book for her seventh birthday, only three months before her attack.
Chloe had never let this book out of her sight since. She felt as this was the closest thing she had left of her mother, that this book was the only thing that could temporarily, if at all, fill the missing part of her soul where her mother would be.
This book was the only thing that could come close to fulfilling her somber situation of a life, the only thing she could relate her experiences to. The ambience of this book was never, and could never be, big enough to fully complete her life, but it was enough to get her through.
It was her sacred place. The epiphany of the meaning, the quicksand of the plot.
She carefully placed the book into her open suitcase at the foot of her bed before deciding to go downstairs to greet the rest of the Malfoy's.
As she walked out of her room and shut her door behind her, Draco was doing the same thing. He turned around as their eyes met, grey and grey, and his mad, I-hate-mornings expression softened a little as he gave her a short nod and smile. Since their bedrooms were practically right across from each other, this happened often.
Draco and Chloe were still quite close friends, occasionally talking to each other about their favourite songs or complaining about their school work. Considering they lived in the same manor during summers and Christmases and the same common room for the rest of the year, it was hard to completely get away from each other.
Even though Draco hated to admit it, Chloe was one of the only real friends he had and he was scared of losing her. Of course, he didn't like that she was drifting from him, from most Slytherins in general. He didn't like that she was getting friendly with students from other houses or that she was still friends with some of the Weasleys. But, he knew she was her own person and could make her own decisions and if he started to control her or tell her what to do, she would hate him even more.
"Good morning," she smiled.
"Morning, sleep well?" he asked, shutting his own bedroom door and walking towards the stairs as she did the same.
"As well as it gets, you?" she replied, a short look of confusion shoot over Draco's face before returning to normal again. He doesn't fully know she had recurring nightmares about her mother. She never woke up screaming or with any loud noise escaping her room so it wasn't an obvious thing.
"Pretty normal," he answered.
They walked down the many stairs of the manor, finally returning to the kitchen where they were met with Narcissa and Lucius talking to each other in hushed whispers, Narcissa holding a copy of The Daily Prophet.
Chloe only got a quick glimpse of the front cover before Narcissa slammed it face down on the counter, noticing the two had come downstairs for breakfast.
Lucius sighed, rolling his eyes as he stalked into another room.
"What would you guys like for breakfast?" Narcissa asked, ignoring Lucius' child-like behaviour.
"Do we have porridge?" Draco asked, walking to the cupboards to look for them.
Chloe made a face, she didn't like porridge.
"I'll just have cereal," she spoke as she walked through the kitchen to take out the things she needed, occasionally playfully bumping into Draco on the way.
Her and Draco's relationship was complicated, you could say. They were very similar in some ways, both being stubborn, secretive and very competitive, but polar opposites in other ways. Chloe was seen as a 'nice girl' by some, and a 'mean girl' by others mainly because people didn't really know her. She kept herself private, away from publicity, a clandestine life. People thought they knew her from the contented front she put up, but no one knew her undertone expression of surreptitious experience.
On the other hand, Draco was very publicised. Telling people everything, always making sure everyone knew everything that could possibly be good about him, give him more power. He didn't care that others didn't like him, he prided himself in the hostility people felt for him, it made him feel more important.
You could call them friends, though they wouldn't refer to themselves as that. If you were to ask them, "cousins," would be all they would say. But they knew they're much more than that. They were always there for each other, whether it be ranting about school to crying about their parents. They never left each other's side.
"I don't understand how you can eat that," Chloe expressed, scrunching up her face in disgust, "it's basically just oat mush."
"I don't understand how you can eat that," Draco retorted, mimicking her expression, "it's just soggy oats."
"And that isn't?" she rebutted, eyeing his bowl.
"At least I have friends," he remarked. Chloe rolled her eyes, what a petty argument.
"I have more friends than you. If you can even call those goons who follow you around like brainless idiots friends. What else have you got?" she encouraged.
"At least I actually get high on potions assignments"
"Because you're the teachers pet. It's hard to do well when the professor is biased," she smiled innocently, "anything else you want to insult me on?"
"Plus, they are not goons, sometimes they are very helpful. And I have more friends than that!" Draco responded.
"You mean Pansy? Wow, what an achievement! Bragging about having a racist as a friend!" she exclaimed sarcastically, slowly clapping her hands three times. "Please, Crabbe and Goyle can't even understand proper English and Pansy is too busy batting her eyelashes at you and being racist to even use her brain-"
"-atleast my friends aren't blood traitors-"
"Kids!" Narcissa interrupted, "please be nice to each other. Hurry up, go upstairs and finish packing, we're leaving soon," she ushered them back upstairs.
After both of them sighing and rolling their eyes at each other, they got up and trotted back up the stairs to pack the final things in their bags so they could finally get back to Hogwarts.
Chloe walked into her room once again, the last time until christmas or next summer, she didn't know yet.
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first chapter!!
after weeks of procrastination it's finally here
sorry this was kinda really boring but I promise (hopefully) it gets better
also, how long do you guys like the chapters? like shorter, longer, this length??? idk i think this was about 3200 words
please let me know your thoughts !!
don't forget to comment or vote if you like
<3
- j