A/N: Getting back into the groove of writing after being stuck with kid for the last two weeks amid Covid-19 resurgence where I am.
Lots of feels ahead (I hope) and do note that the images borrowed from the Internet are actual, rare images of pre-war Korea during 1945-1950.
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"Yes...I understand. My sources have confirmed that the roadblocks remain in place, and that the rioting has resumed." Jeong Hyeok held the receiver closely to his ear, listening keenly to the Governor on the other end of the line. "Only if it is deemed appropriate, Sir. Miss Yoon isn't inconveniencing me in the least..."
It was most inappropriate to feel any form of joy given the current political situation, but Seri quietly nodded in agreement, failing to keep the smile off her face.
Going by bits and pieces of Jeong Hyeok's exchange with her father, and what the latter had told her prior to requesting to speak with the Captain, she had gathered enough to figure out that her stay at this apartment had been extended.
Still, there was something unsettling in the Captain's expression as he remained on the line with the Governor.
From what Seri had heard on the radio, and received in terms of information from the Fifth Company boys when they came delivering food, the riots out there on the streets had restarted with a vengeance upon the President's violent dismissal of calls for his resignation.
Even the terms for a truce had been grossly condescending, with the authorities suggesting throwing money and basic benefits to appease some of the demonstrators.
Needless to say, such senseless plans had backfired spectacularly, plunging Seoul into greater turmoil.
More formal pleasantries were exchanged, before the former military captain put the receiver down.
"What else did my father say?"
"There has been another attack on a railway station with numerous casualties," Jeong Hyeok explained, softening his tone as horror gripped Seri's face. "Involving even the defense minister's extended family members."
The demonstrators were increasingly desperate, seeking to hurt the family members of key leaders in the cabinet to make their voices heard.
Her initial elation at being able to spend a longer time in his apartment was replaced by growing worry.
"Seeing this is what the rioters are planning for now,"The Captain continued seriously, giving her a glimpse of the military officer he used to be. "The Governor has requested for me to keep you here until the streets are completely safe."
"...and when will that happen?"
For a moment, Jeong Hyeok struggled with a fitting response, his expression troubled.
"It's anyone's guess. For now, you are safe with me. Remember, as long as you remain within my sight, you will be safe."
Seri nodded, well knowing he was a man of his words.
"Your parents, and..." Jeong Hyeok added, though he couldn't bring himself to name the other man whom the Governor has mentioned over the line. "Everyone else is very worried for your safety. He also added that the hospital you work at has been informed of the reason for your absence—"
The Captain never got to elaborate, for the governor's daughter had wrapped her arms around him in a close embrace, head resting against his chest.
"Will peace ever return to this country, Captain Ri?"
Caught by surprise from the unexpected closeness, the former military man, who wasn't used to such simple physical affection, stood awkwardly.
These words, and this embrace, reminded him of the very first reasons why he had always harbored secret admiration for the governor's daughter.
Not only was she his ideal in terms of appearances or demeanor, Yoon Seri also possessed all the qualities that mirrored his own.
Loyalty and righteousness, except that she came in a feistier package than his stoic, subdued one.
If only things could have turned out differently between them.
But for now, in this private space, no one else existed or mattered.
For as long as the turmoil outside raged, she was his, destined to leave when peace returned.
Jeong Hyeok slowly raised his arms to wrap them around Seri, pulling her closer to himself. Her slender frame felt so fragile against his much broader one, but yet she was such an immense source of strength and warmth to the darkness within him.
Relaxing in the embrace, the governor's daughter closed her eyes. The Captain clearly held no answer to her question, but at this moment, they found peace in each other.
That was when she heard those words which made her push back slightly from the embrace to seek his gaze in disbelief and joy.
"I shouldn't be saying this," In a low husky whisper, he echoed her sentiments, "But I'm glad you're staying here for longer."
"As I am, Captain. As I am."
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The greatest problem with discarding inhibitions to yield to temptation was that it set one's heart on a downward journey along a slippery slope.
From secretly admiring the handsome Captain and appreciating all that he had done for this country during the Korean War, Seri had allowed herself, time and again, to indulge.
First, it was her incessant pestering of Ri Jeong Hyeok at his noodle stall.
Then, she started bringing him soup, snacks— all under the disguise of friendliness, just so that she could spend some time with him.
For a few months, that was the furthest her indulgence went. Respectful admiration, close friendship...whatever the label, it didn't change the fact that their relationship remained within the boundaries of propriety.
It took a riot to change all that.
Due to an unexpected twist of fate, they became housemates.
Living under one roof, albeit temporarily, Seri witnessed with her own eyes the intensity and pain of an emotional meltdown, and was hit with realization that it was the hardest to see the strong ones fall.
Yet it only renewed the determination which she never knew she held.
The determination that led her to decide she'd very much wish to be a part of Ri Jeong Hyeok's life, to give him the warmth that life had cruelly taken from him.
Self-control ebbed away like sand in the wind.
After the first kiss, it was increasingly obvious to Seri that their hearts had already crossed the borders of friendship, way before the kiss had taken place.
She should have stopped.
But the second kiss took place just seconds after the first, leaving no room for excuses or whatsoever. It wasn't a moment of folly, it definitely wasn't a mistake.
It was a desire.
Then came the third, fourth and fifth kiss. With each one, Sang Woo's existence in her life went from being a tolerable arrangement over which she had no options, to being something immensely regrettable and increasingly dreadful.
Foolishly, Seri had reassured herself on multiple occasions that she would be able to end what she had started here in this apartment, and draw a clear line with Jeong Hyeok when it all ended.
But that too, seemed increasingly impossible, as she silently gazed upon his sleeping visage, now just a mere distance away from where she was on his bed.
They weren't exactly sharing a bed, but the Captain was sleeping on the floor by the bed— far enough to fool themselves into thinking such interaction was proper, yet near enough to throw everything in her mind into chaos.
He did not have to look so serene and innocent as he slept without a crease of worry on his face, but he did.
The typically intimidating Captain looked almost childlike, she concluded, as the former softly breathed and allowed slumber to hide his demons away.
How was she supposed to feel now? They were literally breaking more barriers down with every bit of interaction, going further and further down this forbidden path.
Sitting together in Jeong Hyeok's bedroom, listening keenly to the radio for information, it wasn't long before the device was switched off due to limited fresh information.
It was a horrible day for the existing political situation— two members of the police force were killed by rioters, who were understandably increasingly incensed by the lack of progress in the situation.
Short grocery runs to the store along the same street, or going out to the water rationing point, were all rendered impossible.
As if the timing couldn't get any worse, the power supply was cut off.
All they could do was wait, and that was exactly what they did.
In the darkness, save for the faint glow from the oil lamp, Seri was seated on the bed whereas the Captain kept a respectful distance by occupying the only stool in the room.
The conversation had initially been centered on politics and socioeconomic issues; they quietly discussed the prospects of civil peace-building, and lamented the red tapes and corruption which stood as hindrance to social development.
In the face of burning curiosity over other topics, the political conversation soon ran dry.
The darkness, usually a sanctuary for the lonely soul, only fueled the growing tension, for she had no way of seeing his facial expression.
"Do you have anything to ask me?" Keen on escaping the awkward silence— well, awkward on her part, Jeong Hyeok seemed perfectly comfortable with keeping quiet— the governor's daughter eventually asked.
"Say...umm...favorite color or childhood ambition or whatsoever."
There was a pregnant pause.
A very, very pregnant pause.
The former military captain sat so still, Seri even wondered at one point if he had somehow fallen asleep, until his head moved ever so slightly and she realized he was hanging on to her words.
"Well..." Burning with even more awkwardness, which was ironical since her initial thought had been to prevent uneasy silence, Seri hastily added, "You don't have to ask anything, actually, I was only finding things to talk about—"
The words left his lips before he could hold them back.
"Can you promise me that you will lead a happy life with Mr. Cha?"
It wasn't quite the question she had expected, but trust this former soldier to surprise her when she least expected him to.
Silence returned to haunt the space between them.
He didn't know what he was doing, asking such a question which he knew would hurt her, and hurt himself more.
But what Jeong Hyeok knew very well was that whatever he and Seri shared here was on borrowed time. One day, the governor's daughter would have to return to her world— the world in which there was no place for a crippled former soldier who now ran a roadside noodle stall.
"I'm afraid I can't."
His head snapped up at hearing her answer, before she emphasized it.
"I can't promise you that, Captain Ri."
They both knew the reason for that.
"Perhaps I could, if we had this conversation a year or two ago." The governor's daughter added, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the edges of the blanket pooled at her lap. "But I'm not too sure now."
"...why?"
Shifting forward in the bed to close the distance between them, Seri slowly reached for the Captain's hands, feeling warmth grow in her heart when he made no move to withdraw from her touch.
His hands were uncharacteristically cold, as if betraying his nervousness.
Fingers slowly interlaced— joints, soft ligaments wonderfully aligned— palm meeting palm, feminine softness embracing calluses and scars.
"Because it had never felt like this." The governor's daughter bravely whispered.
In this incredibly intimate act of holding hands, the past seemed irrelevant, and the future, fathomable.
"...from when?" His guttural whisper elicited a smile on her face.
"That's a much better question than the first one you've asked, Captain." Seri's quiet reply held teasing hints, as she gently tightened her hold on his hands. "The summer of 1954, if I have to be specific."
A barely-audible, questioning hum was heard.
"We had that confrontation with the thugs at our noodle stall, remember? When they refused to pay?" She replied, mental images flooding her memories. "You held my hands, just like this, when I was terrified and couldn't stop trembling. Something came over me, and it was probably the first time when I realized there are beautiful things in life that cannot be put into words."
That would have been around eight months ago.
"Now it's my turn to ask questions..." The governor's daughter continued, feeling her heart race at the way barriers crumbled further between the two of them. "...from when?"
Jeong Hyeok released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, allowing a faint chuckle to escape him when he realized Seri had thrown the same question back at him.
Never did she question the existence of his romantic feelings for her, the former soldier realized, as the governor's daughter added endearingly, "Be as specific as I was. I want to know the details."
The former military officer held his silence for a second. "24 July 1948, at the Capitol Building during the presidential inauguration."
1948...?
Momentarily overwhelmed by surprise, all Seri could do was to search Jeong Hyeok's face for answers in the dim glow of the oil lamp. Did they not meet in 1951, when he saved her at the train station while she was evacuating Seoul?
"You were with the Governor, attending President Rhee's inauguration back then."
Realization and surprise led her eyes to widen, as she nodded eagerly. "Yes, I was there! You were..."
"I was also there, as part of the security forces, escorting the presidential aides when I first saw you. There were so many people, and we were understandably concerned about any attempts at sabotage by the North. The family members of the political leaders had been instructed to stay as far away from the masses as they could."
She most definitely remembered that, though Seri would say she hadn't expected this level of detail when she asked him to be specific.
But then again, this was Ri Jeong Hyeok.
"You were the only one who rushed forward to help when some of the children standing at the front fell amid the jostling in the crowd. The military had been on high alert; I was ready to shoot if required, but you eased the tension with soft power and confidence." The former military captain added, pinning his eyes on Seri's gentle silhouette. "I remember thinking, that girl must be crazy, but...what a powerful impression it was."
That drew a chuckle from the governor's daughter, before Jeong Hyeok's next words conjured renewed flutters in her chest.
"Then I found out from someone else that this girl is Yoon Seri, the only daughter of Seoul Governor Yoon Jeung Pyeong. Then I found myself looking forward to 15 August 1948, when the government was sworn in. True enough, I found you in the crowd once again."
Fighting to suppress a smile, Seri asked, "You remembered me so clearly?"
"You asked for details." The Captain laughed quietly. "It isn't everyday that one comes across a beautiful girl who is so courageous. Since then, I thought, it's alright, even if this girl never noticed me. I will do my best as a member of the military forces to protect her father, and also, keep her from harm."
These words should have been fully accepted with joy in her heart, but given the circumstances, all Seri could do was to close her eyes as she held his hands tightly.
If only she had known, if only she had noticed the presence of Ri Jeong Hyeok in her life, before the betrothal had taken place.
"Time went by, and the war began. We never met again, until—"
"—January, 1951. At the train station." Seri completed his sentence.
The former soldier nodded. "Subsequently, during the war, I managed to hear about you. Some of the officers said that the Governor and his daughter had returned to Seoul, and that you were working at the frontlines as a nurse."
"That part is true. I remember telling my father I wished to do my part to help as a Seoul citizen, and that was how he had agreed."
"I found that extremely respectable. That was probably when I swore to myself that I wouldn't allow anything to hurt you; not even bad news."
"Captain Ri..."
The darkness helped, allowing him to speak in a way he would never have been able to if her eyes were meeting his.
"I remember telling myself; I cannot die, I have to live on so I could be your friend. It sounds silly now, but those thoughts were genuine." He continued, deliberately omitting his greater ambitions. "Things had eventually turned out differently from what I'd have wished for them to be, but still, we met again in December last year."
Breaking their contact to release a hand, Seri slowly raised a palm to cup Jeong Hyeok's cheek. "Why didn't you tell me when we spoke in the garden during the party? Why were you acting so cold towards me when I started visiting you at the noodle stall? You could have told me this from the beginning..."
It was still too late for anything, she remained an engaged woman, but any moment with Jeong Hyeok is one to be treasured.
"I gained your friendship. That is good enough." Maneuvering such that he held her hand in his instead, the former soldier replied, "These hands that helped countless people do not deserve to be tainted by these which have taken the lives of so many."
"You've taken those lives out of duty to this country, Captain Ri. You were fighting for us. I am honored to hold these hands, and to call you...my friend."
Someone had to sacrifice for peace, even if it meant giving up something in service or deed for the undeserving. Jeong Hyeok knew he would gladly do it again and again, to defend this country in which he so firmly believed.
Nodding stoically, the Captain added, "No matter what the future holds, I'll still watch over you, Miss Yoon. Always, even if it is from a distance."
Even if she was no longer by his side, even when she became Mrs. Cha one day, he would still find a way to protect and honor Yoon Seri.
"So will I. I might not know how to use a rifle, but I will protect you in whatever way I can."
He nodded, squeezing her hand gently as he ran the pad of his thumb over the softness of her skin.
"I boarded the wrong train back then, but here we are, at the right destination." Seri softly whispered, wishing for the umpteenth time to never wake up from this dream as she recalled her words to Jeong Hyeok at the train station.
"No. This isn't your destination. Your journey is a long one...one that will bring you to a much better place." His reply was poignant.
No matter how much the Captain hated to admit it, Seri had much better prospects being married to a high-flying, promising bureaucrat like Cha Sang Woo, than to a cripple like himself.
"Then what about you? Where is your destination, Captain Ri?"
He smiled self-reproachfully, hoping the darkness masked his regrets.
"I was too late. I missed my train, so I have to go on a different path now."
They fell into silence again, weighed down by hearts which had only grown heavier, despite having spoken to get the deeper thoughts off their minds.