When Ellie first mentioned she planned that we had dinner at Charlie and Wes' apartment on Friday night, I wasn't initially excited about that. After practice, when Charlie verified with me before the pep rally that we were still coming over, she had also called Wes a 'grumpy midnight pumpkin,' whatever the hell that meant.
Despite a lot of Charlie refills into Ellie's wine glass until poor Ellie's cheeks wore a permanent spread of pink across them and she giggled a lot more, I actually couldn't have been more grateful for that dinner. Even Ellie's reworked leftovers tasted amazing and while I hadn't torn into mine quite like Wes had, my plate was definitely empty by the end of the meal.
During most of the dinner and post-dinner conversation, I sat back and listened while the three of them caught up on stories from their freshman and sophomore years. The table setup reminded me of my Sunday night dinners with the Prakashes, although their dinner topics were more about Sashwhin's dissertation progress, Nallini's hobbies of cooking and sewing, and Dal's school. I had teammates and classmates at UCD but kept myself pretty isolated and my neighbors turned into a nice, grounding extended family.
I should call them Sunday.
Sunday dinners with my neighbors usually lasted about two hours, included more than one round of food so I practically rolled myself back across the hall. I usually hung out with Dal beforehand though. His favorite activity was kicking a soccer ball but I'd convinced him a few pigskin tosses weren't the worst alternative.
The Prakashes were a very reserved married couple in terms of PDA's but during dinners, Sashwin reached across the table and casually held Nallini's hand almost the entire time. The gesture served as a bittersweet reminder that, at one point in time, Ellie was my family.
My memory lane trip put a slight damper on my mood during dinner but I happily absorbed whatever Wes and Charlie told me about Ellie. The version of Ellie that they knew and talked about sounded a lot like the one I'd known and hoped still existed. I learned that she needed a lot more prompting out of her routine schedule, even though she impressed me with how hard she studied even during the first week, but was still willing to try new things. She also seemed a lot more directly confrontational but I'd already seen that myself. Full honesty, I was more than slightly turned on by Ellie's forwardness when she chewed out Darrius and shut down Emmitt during Human Anatomy class.
The one exception to Ellie was how guarded she was with me. She was closed-off when we first met because of her assault experience, like a form of self-preservation, but she had no reason to be now because I assumed no one else knew. While part of me was relieved that she hadn't dated around or been snatched up by some other guy because who wouldn't fucking want her, I was slightly concerned about why I assumed she was closed off.
Something's holding her back.
She hasn't forgiven me, or maybe she hasn't forgiven herself?
She could've knocked me over with a push from one of her delicate fingers when she asked me out on a date. Part of my ego was bruised that I hadn't asked her first but there was no way in hell I'd have turned that offer down. Truth was, I waited to make any real moves until after we'd talked. Despite how she'd tested my restraint with flirting, Ellie's emotional walls were up so high that the last thing I wanted was that I ruined my chances from the start.
I worried that she first thought that I'd agreed to the date out of pity but the truth was that a giant fucking knot twisted in my chest when she asked me out. The longer we sat at the table after dinner and talked, the longer I held her hand and absently stroked my thumb over the valley of soft skin between her index finger and thumb like I used to, the tighter my chest knot got.
"That was fun." Ellie's shoulder's bounced as she giggled into the side of my arm while we stood at their door to leave. Wes grumbled something about going to sleep early the night before a game, then walked into their bedroom with a slight hand wave. Even though I wasn't a starter, I was pretty tired from practice and Ellie looked like once she hit that awful air mattress then she'd pass out pretty quickly.
I leaned over and my nose twitched at the strong wine smell on her lips. "Are you okay?"
"Peachy." She giggled but swayed a little bit and grabbed onto my closest forearm.
"She's a bit of a lightweight." Charlie offered me an apologetic look and handed Ellie the empty food containers.
My aversion to alcohol flared a slight annoyance inside me. "Then why give her so much? Or... any?"
"She's been a bit... tense lately," was her shrugged response but her eyes were serious when they lifted to mine. "She's also a bit more open when she's buzzed."
I stood for a moment while my mouth twitched sideways at that information because knowing it had done nothing for the annoyance that I still felt inside. "Let me get her to bed, thanks for dinner."
Wes nodded at me, then Ellie and I exited into the hallway. Charlie slipped out behind me, where Ellie wrapped one of her arms around her in a big hug.
"Love you," Ellie whispered softly but her head was tilted back far enough that I heard every word. "See ya tomorrow, Charlie."
"You too, Ellie." Charlie squeezed Ellie's shoulders once, then shifted her attention to me. Right when I turned and placed one hand on Ellie's lower back, Charlie's softly spoken words hit me from behind.
"Don't hurt her."
I turned back slightly and saw Charlie's face was full of concern while she hugged her elbows across her stomach. The candid statement caught me slightly by surprise but I appreciated her forwardness and replied, "That's the last thing I want."
"Good." She leaned against her doorway frame. "She needs you more than you think."
She already has me.
I wasn't ready to admit that to anyone past Ellie though, so I just said, "Thanks," over my shoulder, then heard the soft door click behind us.
Thankfully we only had one hallway to walk through and we did silently. Ellie leaned one shoulder against the wall, her eyes were dark and full of some unreadable expression while she gazed up at me as I unlocked the apartment. She took a couple of unsteady steps into the apartment and my hand found its spot at her lower back before I locked the door behind us and flicked on the living room light.
"Okay, I might be slightly buzzed." She giggled quietly and looked up at me with slightly glassed over eyes. "Might be the liquid courage but I'm glad you're here. Despite how I now know what devious you are, LT Hightower."
"Logan." I chuckled quietly at her interesting choice of a name for me, then steered her towards the bathroom and took the containers from her hands. "Devious, huh?"
Only Ellie still has perfect English while buzzed.
"The kissing booth stunt." She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the bathroom door opening. An obvious pretend pout played on her full lips because her eyes stared up at me with twinkles of amusement. "I never knew that."
"I'm sure there's a few things I never knew," I assured her from the kitchen, where I set the food containers on the counter.
"You're not going to kiss me now, are you?" Her dark eyes tracked my movements as I stepped closer. "You tried earlier."
"No." Despite how I appreciated her unfiltered boldness, I only smiled and shook my head. "Not when you smell like you found the bottom of that wine glass. You should brush your teeth, then let's get you in bed, liquid courage."
"And pee," she replied with another giggle. "Definitely have to pee."
"Definitely do that too." I bit back a laugh and led her into the bathroom. When her hands grabbed at her waist and yanked her pants straight down, I reached out and closed the door for privacy.
I have no idea what's going on right now.
After I heard a few obvious sounds that Ellie had used the toilet then brushed her teeth, I opened the door and found her half-sagged over the pedestal sink. Fortunately she'd pulled her clothes in place and, based on the ball of hair she'd left on the sink edge, I assumed that she'd also brushed her hair.
"Come on." I took her hand and led her into the bedroom. In her state, I didn't want her to sleep on that damn air mattress. "You can take the bed tonight."
"But..." She stopped, softly whimpered, and looked at me with large, sad eyes. "Your game tomorrow."
"I'll be fine," I assured her and my free hand applied a little more gentle pressure to her lower back until she walked again. "It's a night game, so if I sleep like crap then I'll nap beforehand."
"Me in your bed, twice in one day." Her eyebrows lifted at me, then she blinked at the bedroom lights when I turned them on. "Pretty smooth, LT."
"Logan -" I started when Ellie lifted both elbows overhead then stripped off her T-shirt.
Everything in me internally groaned once I saw she really had worn her black lace bra tonight. My resolve was tested once she just as quickly removed her pants and, sure enough, the black lace thong was on her too.
My blood pressure spiked when she added a slow, slightly wavered turn. As the curve of her lower back that led into her round, firm ass came into full view, I became the light-headed one as I shamelessly drank in her appearance. The best part was the shy, almost coy smile on her lips when she turned and faced me again.
Fuck, this is torturous.
Don't take advantage of her.
I walked into the closet, where I possibly adjusted myself for more breathing space in my pants, and grabbed one of my T-shirts. I came back to where Ellie still stood and slipped the shirt over her head, which earned me a slight pout on her lips once the collar slid over them.
"Trust me," I assured her and tugged my shirt halfway down her thighs. "You look more than sexy but you need some sleep, baby."
With wider eyes at my choice of words, she stepped closer and gently grabbed my forearm with both her hands. Without a blink, a soft smile spread across her lips and she whispered, "Don't tell anyone but I like when you call me that."
"I know." I leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss onto the top of her head, then closed my eyes for a moment because every part of my body except the logical part of my brain wanted more. I also knew she probably would've told me anything at this moment had I asked but these weren't the appropriate circumstances. "Let's get you to bed."
She gently slid into bed and I pulled the covers up over her shoulders. A beautiful smile spread over her lips when I knelt down by the side of the bed and she whispered, "Thank you, Logan."
"You should get some sleep, baby." I smoothed one hand over her soft, dark hair, then tucked a few strands behind her ear. "Sleep here, I'll take the sofa."
Right when I stood up, a soft hand grabbed mine and tugged me back down. Ellie's eyes were now closed but her grip on my hand was as firm as her requested, "Stay."
Every part inside me agreed with her except my conscience, so I shook my head. "Ellie, that's not a good idea."
"Don't sleep like crap," she pressed with another squeeze of my hand. "I'll feel bad."
"It's okay," I practically cooed at her and smoothed one hand over her soft hair again. "I'll be fine."
Her eyes opened and surprisingly shone with tears. "Please stay," she whispered in a husky voice. "I haven't told you how sorry I am yet."
Well, fuck. What am I supposed to say to that?
"Are you sure?" I hesitated and searched her expression for any signs she hadn't meant that. Instead, she lifted her other hand and pressed her fingers into my cheek.
"Please," she repeated in a soft, whispered plea that broke my last resolve.
My chest heaved with a slow, deep sigh, then I ran my free hand's fingers over my hair. "Okay."
Ellie's eyes followed my movements while I removed my clothes, used the bathroom myself, and brushed my teeth. I paused for a moment, stared at my mirror reflection, and questioned if I'd made the bad call here.
Even though nothing will happen, I don't want to be someone she wakes up next to and regrets.
Hopefully she's asleep, then I'll just go out to the living room.
Still awake with her eyes trained on the door when I entered, Ellie had moved further over in the bed. She watched as I stacked a pillow on the bed in between us, then turned off the lights. My hands clenched into fists since I pictured my arms wrapped around her while her head rested on my chest but the last thing I wanted was she woke up completely freaked out about this. Plus, while I appreciated her honesty, these weren't the circumstances under which I'd hoped we ended up in bed together.
Ellie's eyes slipped closed and pretty quickly her breathing evened out. While mine adjusted to the dark, I watched her for a few moments. The last thing I saw was how peacefully beautiful she looked, then slipped into a fast sleep myself.