Copyright 2015 © Rosesareforever
Cruel Fate
Chapter 14
'Shocking Revelation'
His palms were moist with sweat as Ben rubbed them together in order to shake off the nerves wreaking havoc on his body. He had never felt more anxious, not even on his graduation day when he was called forward to speak in front of hundreds of people or when he went on his first interview with a potential employer. This must be what it felt like to be out of his element. It was a wry feeling. He pitied the people where this was their everyday norm.
“Ben, honey,” his mother smiled as she pulled him into her arms for a quick hug when he walked into the living room of his parents’ home. After arranging visitation with Amelia, Ben had called his mother and asked her to organize a family dinner on Thursday night so he could announce the big news to everyone at once. He could’ve waited until Sunday’s lunch, but keeping a secret like that from his family didn’t sit well with him. Ben would much rather tell them as soon as possible and get it over with.
Placing a soft peck against her temple, Ben smiled warmly at his mother and squeezed her shoulder affectionately when he pulled back from her embrace. She was the one person who’s reaction he feared most. He didn’t doubt that she would be elated to know she had another grandson, but he knew for a fact that she would feel sad about the time she’d missed. Seven years was a long time to make up for.
“It’s good to see you, son. I have been anxiously waiting for today. Whatever you have to tell us better be good news. I thought I’d have a heart attack when you called and asked me to arrange a family dinner. Did you finally get yourself a girlfriend?” Never one to keep her thoughts to herself, his mother rambled on, her eyes wide with excitement by the end of her speech. Ben hated to disappoint her. When he shook his head, her bright smile faltered a little, but it didn’t completely disappear.
“She probably would’ve showed up on his arm if he’d finally landed himself a decent woman, mom,” Abby pointed out, winking at Ben. “Lovely to see you, brother, and not on a Sunday this time. It must be my lucky day.” Ben ignored his sister’s sarcasm. She enjoyed taunting him a little too much for his taste and he’d be damned if he gave her the reaction she was hoping for.
“Believe me, you will never guess why he arranged for us to meet,” Ethan butted in, always the troublemaker. Sending him a glare, Ben shook his head. Why did everyone in this family have an unhealthy appetite for drama? If it wasn’t his sister who was trying to spice up the conversation, his brother found a way to get a rise out of someone.
“He already knows?” Abby accused, her tone anything but happy. “Are you serious, Ben? You choose that little dipshit over me?”
“Children,” Harold chided, “Please, for once, act civilly towards each other. You’re worse than a bunch of toddlers.” Always the mediator, his stepfather had a well-established role in a family filled with buttheads. It was a true wonder the man had never lost his patience. Harold radiated calmness and composure. Ben couldn’t remember a time when someone had been able to rile the man up.
“I already regret not waiting until Sunday,” Ben muttered to himself. His family was just too much. Couldn’t they for once make something easier on him? Complicated was too mild a word to describe the situation he was in.
“Let’s all sit down and drink a cup of coffee,” his mother wisely interrupted, ushering everyone towards the couch.
“I think Ben could use something stronger,” Harold grinned, noticing his oldest stepson’s sore grimace.
“I’ll add a dash of Amaretto.”
Abby’s head shot up. “You have a bottle of Amaretto? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s never wise to mention Amaretto in your presence, honey. Somehow, bottles always disappear when you know we have them,” his mother retorted, sending her daughter a pointed look.
Smiling guilty, Abby rolled her eyes. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who offered me my first taste of heaven.”
“Because you’d just broken up with your high school boyfriend. I didn’t think you’d get addicted.”
“I’m not addicted,” Abby protested. “I just like to have a glass from time to time.”
Ethan burst into laughter. “From time to time? You always have a bottle hidden at home.”
“And how, exactly, would you know that?”
“It’s right next to the bottle of bourbon your husband likes so much,” Ethan grinned.
“That explains why it’s always empty. Well, it’s a good thing you don’t like Amaretto.”
Walking in with a tray filled with cups and cookies in her arms, his mother made her way to the coffee table, the scent of freshly brewed coffee lingering in the air. “Ben, you’ve kept us in suspense long enough. Just spit it out already.”
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, mom.” At least not before he’d gotten a dose of liquid courage.
“It can’t be that bad, brother. You don’t have cancer or something, do you?”
“Abby, please, don’t say stuff like that,” his mother hissed. “Do you want me to have a stroke?”
“Calm down,” Ben interfered. “It’s not bad news per se. I’m still healthy as a horse so don’t worry about that, mom. You’d be the first one to know if something like that ever happens.”
“I better be!”
“I want you all to sit down, keep quiet and wait for me to finish what I have to say before you start firing questions my way. Am I clear?” When Abby and his mother grunted but nodded, Ben inhaled a deep breath. “I found out a few days ago that I have a son…” he started.
“A son!” “What?” “Dear lord.”
Ben groaned. Did everyone not just agree to keep their mouths shut? Even Harold, who never said much, hadn’t been able to stay quiet. “Can I go on?” Silence followed. “Like I said, I found out that I have a son. It’s never been a secret that I don’t do relationships, but just casually hook up with women.” He sent his mother an apologizing look. She was the only one who he’d always kept sheltered from his ruthless behavior when it came to women.
“One of those nights, seven years ago, I apparently got a girl pregnant without my knowledge. Since I make it my mission to stay completely anonymous when I have a one-night-stand, she didn’t know my contact information and could never tell me about my unborn child. A while back, we came across each other and I recently found out about my son.”
“How careless of you. I thought I knew you better than that, Ben,” Abby proclaimed, her eyes filled with disappointment.
“It’s not like I didn’t use a condom, Abbs. Accidents happen. It probably broke and I doubt she was on birth control.”
“How did you figure that?”
Shame filled Ben as he looked at his sister. He’d hoped he didn’t have to go into detail. “She wasn’t exactly the type of girl that did casual hookups. I don’t think she expected I’d just leave her after the deed was done.”
“You’re such an asshole,” Abby hissed, her eyes filled with disbelieve as she stood up and left the room without another word.
“I have another grandson?” his mother whispered, tears clogging her vision as she smiled. “How wonderful. When can we meet him?”
“The mother and I arranged that he’ll stay at my place from Friday night until Sunday morning. She still wanted one day of every weekend to spend time with him.”
“Of course,” his mother nodded. “What mother wouldn’t? I’d have cut off your father’s balls had he asked me to give up every weekend. It’s the only time you can properly spend with your kids.”
Great, apparently he should’ve seen Amelia’s reaction coming when she got angry. Maybe he should’ve talked to his mother sooner. “I did ask to have Landon one Sunday a month so I could bring him to family lunch.”
“Landon?” his mother repeated. “That’s his name? How beautiful!”
Ben smiled, looking a bit unsure. “Yeah, he’s called Landon. He actually looks a lot like me. I didn’t doubt for a second that he was mine.”
“Really?” More tears gathered in his mother’s eyes. “That’s wonderful, truly wonderful. Oh honey, this is the best news ever.”
“Landon?” Abby mumbled as she walked back into the room, her temper flaring all over again. “Please, don’t tell me Amelia is the mother. I truly hope you’re not that much of an asshole. She’s super nice and sweet. That woman screams innocence.”
Bending his head in shame, Ben mumbled a soft curse. Leave it to his sister to immediately develop a liking towards Amelia. The two of them had met once and Abby already felt protective towards her. Why couldn’t the mother of his child be a bitch? Why make it so hard on Ben to keep disliking her for lying to him? He’d known from the moment she walked into that room that she was a force to be reckoned with. The shy Amelia he’d met when he was 24 had blossomed into one beautiful, strong woman. If he hadn’t been so adamant about not wanting a serious relationship, he probably would’ve called it fate that she walked back into his life.
“I made a mistake,” he told his sister honestly. “I realized too late that she wasn’t like the girls I usually hooked up with.”
“God, Ben, I never thought I could be so damn disappointed in you. Please, tell me you at least apologized to her.”
“I did. We’re trying to work everything out.”
“Are you going to try to date her properly this time around? Whether you like it or not, she’d be perfect for you.”
“You know I don’t do relationships, Abby.”
“That’s too bad, Benjamin. I demand you try your utmost best to find a way for this woman to forgive you,” his mother interrupted. “The times might have changed, but I still feel like it’s your responsibility to give a relationship a try, for all of your sakes. That little boy has been through enough. He deserves to finally have a family.”
“Mother, I know you only want the best for me, but a relationship between Amelia and me is impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible as long as you believe in yourself, honey.”
Ben was wisely going to refrain from answering before he dug himself an even deeper hole. His family didn’t understand and they never would.
***
Biting her bottom lip, Amelia watched Landon play with his toy cars from a distance, his laughter echoing through the room every time he bumped one of his cars into the couch. She was going to miss him. Casting another glance at the time, she noted Benjamin could arrive any moment now. At work he’d asked her to pick Landon up from school. His final meeting of the day didn’t end until at least six o’clock. He’d suggested to move the meeting and schedule it on another day, but Amelia had told him it was fine. She’d be lying if she said she minded spending a few more hours with her son before his father picked him up.
The doorbell rang and Amelia let out a deep sigh as she headed for the front door. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She’d known all week that this moment would come and thought she was prepared, but she’d been wrong. Nothing could’ve prepared her for the horrible feeling coursing through her at the thought of not seeing Landon until Sunday morning. It was even worse than when she went to New York on a business trip.
“Amelia,” Benjamin nodded politely as she opened the door and stepped aside to let him enter.
“Hi,” she mumbled softly, not able to hide her distress.
“I wanted to ask you something before I leave.”
Confused, she looked up and searched his eyes. “Oh?”
“My mother called me today at work and informed me she expected me to bring Landon and you to our family lunch on Sunday. I couldn’t exactly refuse her…”
Anger seeped into her pores as Amelia sent Benjamin a disbelieving look. “Please, don’t tell me you actually expect me to be okay with this? You can’t just go changing our arrangement. The arrangement YOU wanted on paper. I made plans on Sunday.”
“I know it’s last minute, Amelia. Believe me when I say this was never my intention. My mother is a very persistent woman and she wanted to meet her grandson and the woman that gave birth to him as soon as possible. I tried to change her mind and proposed to stop by her place tomorrow, but she was adamant.”
Amelia shook her head and laughed humorlessly. The great Benjamin Hardman was afraid of his own mother? “You have a lot of nerve asking this from me.”
Groaning, Benjamin rubbed his day old stubble. “Amelia,” he pleaded, honestly sounding troubled.
“I will go to your family’s lunch, but only because I want what’s best for our son and I know for a fact that he would love to meet his grandparents and nephews since he’s never had any family except for me. But next time? You better make sure you don’t wait until the last second to tell me.”
“I didn’t…”
“You know your own mother better than anyone,” Amelia interrupted. “I don’t believe for even a second that you didn’t expect something like this to happen.”
Reluctantly, Benjamin nodded. “I admit my mother’s phone call didn’t completely surprise me, but I was being honest when I said it was never my intention for this to happen. I had hoped I could change her mind. It seems we’re more alike than I ever thought. Once she wants something, she doesn’t give up until she gets everything her way.”
Closing her eyes for a moment, Amelia wondered what she’d gotten herself into. Meeting Benjamin’s family had never been her intention. She didn’t think they would want to meet her. She’d met his sister once and if the woman was anything to go by, Sunday’s lunch was going to be interesting. Benjamin and his sister were alike in many ways, both extremely stubborn and determined.
“Landon?” Amelia called out. “Daddy’s here!”
Not even three seconds later, their son came storming into the hall, a gigantic smile illuminating his face. Running straight past his mother, Landon jumped into Benjamin’s arms and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. Amelia watched the scene unfold with a sad smile. Shamefully, she had to admit she hated how easily Landon accepted his father. Seven years, she’d worked her ass off for her baby boy and he just ran past her… It was an irrational thought and she knew it, but she couldn’t help how she felt. It just plain hurt. Landon loved her, she didn’t doubt it for a moment, but he also loved his father now.
“Give your mommy a goodbye kiss,” Benjamin instructed as he set their son back down on the floor.
Grateful for the opportunity to give Landon one last hug, she pulled her boy into her arms and held on tight. Tears gathered behind her eyes, but she refused to let them escape. It would only make their farewell harder if she started crying. Landon would be worried and probably want to stay home. Grudgingly, Amelia loosened her grip and pulled back slowly. “Have fun, honey,” she whispered, cursing herself for how sad she sounded.
“Are you okay, mommy?” Landon asked, picking up on her sorrow.
Putting on a brave face, Amelia smiled warmly at the little boy forever engraved in her heart and nodded. “Yeah, baby, I’m fine. I’m just going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, mommy,” Landon smiled before pressing a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Amelia giggled and ruffled his hair.
“We’ll pick you up around eleven on Sunday. Sound okay?” Benjamin suggested, his eyes focused on Amelia as he held out his hand for Landon to take.
“Sure,” she agreed with a sigh. What was she supposed to do? Like she’d said before, she would do whatever was best for Landon, but that didn’t necessarily mean she was looking forward to the family lunch she now had to attend.
Leaning against the doorpost, Amelia watched as Benjamin and Landon left, her lips trembling. It wasn’t until they disappeared around the corner that she allowed the first tear to roll down her cheek. By an hour after Landon left, she was one blubbering mess.
***
The first rays of sunlight illuminated the kitchen as Ben poured himself a cup of coffee the next morning, the smell of fresh brewed coffee beans lingering in the air. A smile played at his lips as he gazed through the floor-to-ceiling window of his condo and watched the city traffic from afar. The silence around him was marveling if you knew how loud the city could be that early in the day. It was a good thing he lived on the upper floor of his building and was surrounded by walls so thick that not even a bullet from a machine gun could pierce them.
“Daddy?” Landon’s sleepy voice interrupted his moment of tranquility.
Turning around, Ben smiled kindly at his son and motioned for him to come closer. “Good morning, kiddo. Did you sleep well?”
Biting his bottom lip, Landon hesitated for a moment before finally nodding in agreement. A frown appeared across Ben’s face. Last night, the kid had been excited and chatty, his continuous laughter and giggles echoing through the house. They’d had fun together, played video games on the Wii that Ben had bought him and watched cartoons. It had surprised Ben how easily the little boy had grown accustomed to him. This sudden change in behavior, the silence and hesitation didn’t bode well.
“Is there something wrong?” Ben asked carefully, trying to keep his features warm and friendly as he kneeled down in front of his son and caught his eyes. He’d read a few parenting books about how to interact with children and remembered one of them stated it was important to lock eyes when talking to a child.
Again, Landon hesitated and nibbled on his bottom lip. It was a small gesture Ben quickly learned meant that the boy was nervous. “You can tell me,” he invited, soothingly caressing his son’s arm. He had to remember the boy wasn’t used to being around men. There was a good chance that Ben’s presence intimidate him.
“I miss mommy,” Landon mumbled, his voice faltering a little.
A soft sigh left Ben’s lips as he put his cup of coffee down on the cupboard and pulled his son into his arms. Landon immediately clung to him, holding on for dear life as he quietly started to sob, choking from time to time when he unsuccessfully tried to conceal his emotions. Sadness washed over Ben. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that his boy could already be missing his mom. He should’ve anticipated how hard it was going to be for Landon to be away from Amelia, even if it was only for two nights. For a child, even one hour seemed like an endless amount of time.
“Do you want me to call mommy and ask if she wants to go to the zoo with us?” Ben was acting on a hunch, a last minute change in plans that seemed like a good idea. He wouldn’t mind if Amelia joined them, but what would she think of his proposal? It wasn’t like he was giving her any time to think it through. She’d probably yell at him again when he called her.
This time Landon didn’t waver, not even for a second. The words had barely left Ben’s mouth when his son started to nod excitedly. “Mommy likes watching the dolphins. She always says she wants to swim with them one day.”
“The dolphins, huh? Do you like them as well?”
“I like all the animals, but I love the lions most. My favorite stuffed animal is a lion. I never go to bed without him. Mommy says he’ll protect me from everything bad.”
Ben slowly let go of his son and put him back down on the floor. The remnants of the tears in Landon’s eyes were long forgotten as he excitedly informed his father about the animals he liked most. It was mindboggling how easily Landon’s mood had shifted from extremely depressed to happy and eager. Ben barely had time to keep up. “I’m going to call mommy now. Do you want me to make you some cereal to eat while I’m on the phone?”
“Do you have Lucky Charms?”
“I do.” Well, thanks to his sister he did. She’d taken him grocery shopping the day before to buy the stuff that children preferred most.
“Really? They’re my favorite, but I can’t always have them because mommy says they’re not very healthy. She usually makes me a bowl of oatmeal with only two spoons sugars!” Landon sounded outraged.
“Only two?” Ben repeated, trying to contain his laughter.
Landon furiously nodded. “Yes, only two! Oatmeal needs at least three spoons of sugar before it tastes yummy. Auntie Megan always buys me Lucky Charms. It’s our little secret.”
“You must like Auntie Megan a lot.”
“She’s the best, but don’t tell mommy I said that. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’d be sad if she knew I sometimes like Auntie Megan better.”
Ben pretended to zip his lips and winked at Landon while he took the box of Lucky Charms out of the cupboard. So Amelia was a health freak when it came to their son? Good to know. They probably should have a talk about it before Ben screwed up. He didn’t even want to know how she would react if she knew Landon had eaten pizza last night and a bowl of Lucky Charms this morning.
***
To say Amelia was surprised when Benjamin called her that morning and asked if she wanted to join them on a trip to the zoo, was putting it mildly. She probably would’ve been upset by the fact that he didn’t even consider that she could already have plans, had he not told her how much Landon seemed to miss her. It was clear Benjamin was putting their son’s needs first and that was something Amelia could appreciate. So she kept her comments to herself and accepted his proposal.
Three hours later, after said phone call, Amelia was walking through the zoo, her fingers intertwined with Landon’s while he simultaneously held Benjamin’s. Their little boy seemed to be in the best of moods as he proudly walked in the middle and pulled them both in the direction of wherever he wanted to go. They looked so much like a little family that Amelia had to repeatedly remind herself that this changed nothing. Benjamin and she were pretending. They were trying to make the best of a bad situation.
It was hard not to get caught up in the feeling of finally being part of a ‘family’. No matter how independent she was, she’d always longed to belong, to have a partner that stood by her side. It was easy to dream, to ignore that Benjamin and she weren’t a real couple but just two people that tried to get along in order to make their son happy.
When they arrived at the lion cages, Landon let go of their hands and climbed onto a bench so he could get a closer look at the wild animals. Benjamin halted next to Amelia, his smile warm as he watched their son. “He’s such an active kid. I’m surprised he’s got any energy left,” he commented.
Amelia grinned. “Landon usually behaves like someone who overdosed on caffeine, but once he gets tired you have to make sure you get him into bed soon or he’ll just fall asleep wherever he’s standing. It’s funny to watch sometimes.”
“Don’t you ever get exhausted from having to deal with him? I have to admit I was pretty glad when he finally went to bed last night.”
“Of course I do. Sometimes I just want to start screaming in frustration, but it’s something you get used to. Parenting isn’t as beautiful as people make it out to be. It’s hard work.”
Benjamin nodded in agreement. “It’s a lot harder than I imagined it would be. When my sister gave me a lists of things I should always have at home when there are kids around, I got a little nervous,” he admitted. “It only got worse when I read a book about parenting.”
Throwing her head back, Amelia burst into laughter. It was so hard to imagine Benjamin reading a book about how to raise a child. He was such a confident and untouchable being, seeing him out of his comfort zone was quite amusing. “You really read a book to prepare yourself?”
“It was an eye-opener for sure. I never realized how little I knew about children and parenting until I started reading. Most books did state, however, that you learn through experience and not by gathering knowledge. Apparently, every child is different and has different needs. What works with one kid, doesn’t necessarily work with another. There’s no real guideline about how to handle a child.”
“I guess that was not something you wanted to read?” Amelia grinned, trying not to laugh at his horrified look.
“No, it was not. I was hoping that I could find out how I should behave around Landon, but it seems I have to figure it out on my own. There’s no ready-made answer.”
“You’ll figure it out. Every parent has the same fears when it comes to parenting. We all want to succeed and make our children happy, bright kids.”
Benjamin was quiet for a moment as they both watched Landon call out to one of the lions and try to get its attention. “I’m glad it was you and not someone else I got unintentionally pregnant. You’re probably the most decent and responsible woman I ever slept with. I can’t imagine anyone else raising a child on their own and still maintaining a career. You did an outstanding job.”
Startled and in wonder, Amelia looked up and was surprised to find him smiling down at her, his eyes filled with warmth. It was such an unusual look for him that she actually gaped. Had he been abducted by aliens? This was not normal Benjamin Hardman behavior!
“I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done for our son and am proud that you’re his mother. This situation could’ve been a lot worse for me had you not been you and I do realize that. I’ve been lucky.”
The honesty in his words spoke volumes. It made Amelia both want to smile and cry. He was such an amazing man. Why didn’t he realize that? Why didn’t he understand that he was made to be a husband and father? She didn’t understand why he was still single. He would make someone very happy one day. She also became mad at herself all over again for keeping Landon a secret for so long.
“Thank you.” While she didn’t need his recognition, it was nice to have it. It showed her he respected her and that meant a lot.
Benjamin didn’t verbally reply, he just took one of her hands in his and squeezed affectionately. They spent the rest of the day together as a family, neither of them unaware of the fact that it felt extremely natural to be around each other, almost as if they did it every day.
I constantly seem to get stuck when I'm writing this story. I'm still not completely satisfied with the way the chapter turned out, but I didn't want to make you guys wait even longer.