"HOW WAS IT?" SHELLY was grinning as she took a bite of Avery's cinnamon roll. "Yikes! That's cold." Her upper lip curled, and her nose wrinkled. "How long have you been staring at that poor roll?"
Avery just looked at Shelly, asking a question by saying nothing. Shelly quietly stared at her. They'd formed a sister bond as children, and Shelly could tell what she was thinking just from the expressions on her face and the movement of her body.
"What's going on? How was your meeting with your dream wedding planner yesterday?"
Shelly batted her lashes as she mentioned 'dream planner' because they share the same. A choice they'd both made when they were still in high school.
Avery nibbled her bottom lip, and her mouth curved a half-smile. Her eyes glinted, and she looked away. It had been a month since she and David talked. The night when the begging, forgiving, and make-up sex happened. That night, they both put their relationship nightmare to rest. David asked for another chance, and she agreed. She told Shelly everybody deserves a second chance, especially in love.
"I won't judge you," was Shelly's only reply.
Avery had been assuring herself she had done the right thing. She would regret not trying. She could have blamed herself for causing her and David's family pain if they'd canceled the wedding because she couldn't try working things out between them. But who was she to judge him? People make mistakes. She wasn't a saint in whatever happened between them! She wondered if she maybe lacked something.
Shelly tapped her hands on the table. "Ave!"
Her eyes blinked. Her best friend's loud voice zoned her back to the present.
She loved him. She did the right thing.
Avery needed someone to assure her. But something was niggling at her, a feeling that something wasn't quite right. She couldn't put her finger on it. Even though everything went back to normal in their relationship, her instinct was saying otherwise.
Not bothered by her best friend's yelling in her face, she asked, "Is this normal?"
"What?" Shelly asked, her eyes widening.
"After you forgave Art, did you still feel the same warning signs? Like your woman's instinct was trying to tell you something else?"
"Did something happen, Ave?" Shelly asked as she rested her chin on top of her clasped hands.
Avery shook her head. "Nothing happened... not yet. Maybe I'm just paranoid."
Shelly tsked and shook her head. "Did he do anything? Tell me what's bothering you."
Avery crunched her lips. "Was it the same with you, then?"
"What, what? Give me specifics so I can understand?" Shelly tugged her hair.
"Ouch!" Avery pretended to slap Shelly's hand. "I'm not complaining. David has been the best since we agreed to move past his cheating. It's just I've got a feeling that something is still wrong."
Shelly nodded. "Is the locator app still active on his phone?"
"Yes... Why?"
"Don't beat yourself up too much. Smart women like us feel more guarded and suspicious after getting cheated on because we don't want to make the same mistake."
"Did you feel the same before? Whenever David tells me something, like an auto-pilot, I always look him in the eye and feel in my heart if it's the truth or a lie." Avery closed her eyes.
Shelly paused. She had been in the same situation and wanted to ensure that every word she said would be less hurtful, if not comforting, for her best friend. Though they were best friends, Shelly kept some things to herself because she felt she had been a burden to Avery while experiencing her relationship shit show. Keeping some things to herself saved a little of her dignity.
But she wondered how she would tell Avery that the most fucked up role in a cheating game was being cheated on? First, you get hurt and betrayed. Second, you get to make the hardest decision---to forgive or not? Then, when you forgive, have the bravest face, the determined mind, and the strongest heart.
"Ave, that's normal. It will take time for you to feel at ease. But it doesn't mean that you have to disregard the signs all the time."
Avery nodded. "It's been a month since we had that talk. David has been the absolute best. I can't see any chance for him to see whoever that woman was or any other woman again. He'd been spending most of his time with me."
"Then stop the paranoia! The make-up sex glued you to each other." Avery shushed Shelly as she looked around the cafe. Shelly continued talking, not minding if other customers could hear her. "Sometimes it annoys me when he calls asking your whereabouts whenever you're not with him."
"Really? You think?" Avery giggled.
Shelly took a deep breath. "It's going to be hard at first." She squeezed Avery's hand. "It might take months, years, or even a lifetime. Forgiving is easy. To trust the person who betrayed you even once is harder."
"I'm sure I forgave him. Trust him?" Avery sighed aloud. "I'm trying. I want so much to trust him. Same as before everything happened. I feel guilty sometimes because I see how he's been trying so hard to make me feel better, but he feels I still have doubts."
"Well, fuck him! That's the price he has to pay! Nothing compared to what he did to you!" Shelly whispered with her nostrils flaring.
Avery shoved her hair away from his face, straightened her body, and pouted her lips. "It's his karma for cheating on a smart, gorgeous, one-man-woman like me!"
"You got it right, girl!" Shelly gave her a high-five like the mean girl she pretended to be when they were still little girls. "Now tell me what happened at your meeting."
This time it was Avery's turn to roll her eyes. She raised her hands in front of Shelly's face. "Okay, okay! You're my maid of honor! I know that's what you're curious to know."
Shelly gave a lopsided grin. "That's a given! I couldn't forgive you if you didn't make me. That'll be the worst cheating in all relationships there is!"
"You're crazy, Shells!" Avery smirked at her best friend.
"Have you chosen a date? Just make sure it's months after mine." Shelly winked at Avery. "You're also my maid of honor, remember?"
"We haven't chosen a date, but David wants it soon. I think long preparation is better. So I guess we don't need to rush."
"But how long is long?" Shelly stared at Avery's face as if she spoke Greek.
Avery's lips curved into a small smile, and she sighed. Shelly knew Avery was trying to say something between the lines. But Avery knew she would keep it to herself. She wouldn't want to add fuel to the fire. No judgments.
They may have swept the issue under the rug for the time being, but they could read each other like a book.
"I'm always available for you, Ave. Don't forget that!"
"I know, Shells. I love you so much!"
"Me too! And Art knows." Shelly formed a heart with her hands. "You both are in my heart!"
Avery gave back a finger heart. "I know. And I'm thankful."
Shelly took a breath and held Avery's hand. "But seriously, Ave, the locator app is on your phone for a purpose. There's no harm in using it sometimes. When a woman's instinct is strong, it can be a sign. You should listen to it."
***