Dear Diary,
I've been discharged for several days now. My heat subsided two or three days before discharge. I've lost weight and I've been needing help from Natasha and Pepper to do simple things. Having someone to take care of me sucks but I guess this is what happens to omegas like me.
I've really only felt pain throughout my body. Everything hurts. My stomach, my chest, my head. My heart. There was only a four-day difference between the Soldier coming into my room for the first time and this curse letting up. Still, I wait for it to come again. Bruce told me the second time might be the same and fairly soon.
I'm confined to the Tower again and I believe my freedom will never come again. It's only a matter of time before the alpha takes advantage of me. I know the tactics - make me trust him only to hurt me.
I'm only seeing him once today with Steve and Nat like promised. Never again after this. I don't want him near me at all. Not again.
"Ready to go get lunch, Kay?" Natasha asked after entering her apartment. She watched as Kaylee finished up her last sentence in her journal before putting it away. Her frame was slowly getting thicker, back to a healthier shape.
"I suppose," Kaylee uttered, using the table to support her weight and to stabilize her. She looked up at the redhead, slightly blond coming from her roots.
The omega slowly followed Natasha to the elevator, numbness taking over her. Her mind went blank, not prepared to see the alpha. Her hands started to feel clammy and she felt like she started sweating.
She had a few minutes once she got to the kitchen before Steve came up with Bucky so she got herself a small snack and tried to relax, to calm her mind with slow, even breaths. Tears welled in her eyes as she felt her mind become closed and focus on her encounter.
"Hey," Natasha spoke up, sitting beside her on the couch. "You're having another anxiety attack. I'm right here." She smiled at her, gently holding Kaylee's hand in hers. She rubbed her knuckles slowly. "I won't let him do anything to you."
Kaylee nodded in time to hear the elevator ding of the alpha's arrival behind her. She averted her gaze down to stare at the carpet before her. As Natasha got up, her hand slipping from the omega's, Kaylee pulled her hand to her stomach. I don't want to see him.
"Hey Steve, Bucky," Natasha smiled at the pair.
Steve greeted his friend. He was there to support Buck and for backup in case something happened though he had confidence nothing would. Still, he and Natasha went to the kitchen to grab a snack.
Bucky nodded to his friend and Natasha noticed he looked tense before she disappeared. He stared at the back of Kaylee's head, noticing her figure for the first time. Guilt stabbed at his heart but he slowly made his way to the other side of the couch, sitting across from the omega.
Kaylee seemed to look up at the right time, her eyes bringing him back to a time where she sought out knowledge to answers.
"Since you're smaller, you have to use your size to your advantage. As well as using someone else's momentum," the Soldier said to the small omega across the way.
A bright eleven-year-old stood before him. Lights shined in her eyes but the way they wanted answers to unasked questions would keep in his mind forever. Ever since that day at boot camp, she showed promise and potential. He knew what he needed to do to protect her.
"How?" she asked. "Everyone is so much taller than I am and bigger."
"We'll go through this slowly but you have to pick it up quick. Your life depends on it."
"Why?"
Silence. He hated that question. He didn't know why himself. "Either I kill you or they take you."
"I-" Bucky started.
"Thank you," Kaylee interrupted him, her voice hoarse. "For saving my life."
Bucky swallowed hard, leaning back into the couch. He nodded softly, knowing that was the only thanks he was going to get from her. "You're welcome, Kay-."
"Why'd you do it?"
"Excuse me?"
Kaylee glared at him, energy suddenly fueling her. "You heard me, Soldat."
Bucky frowned. "You rather I didn't?" he asked. He was confused.
"Buck!" Steve warned from behind Kaylee as he came out of the kitchen.
"Why did you save my life all those years ago?" Kaylee snapped, leaning forward in her chair.
There it is, Bucky thought.
"Whatever happens, Bird, I'll protect you from them," he whispered to the young omega as other alphas hollered outside their room.
"Why wouldn't I?" the alpha snapped in question. "They would have killed you!"
"Would've been better than dealing with and becoming an assassin!"
"They started touching me," the omega whined, burying her head in the alpha's chest. "I couldn't do anything! I couldn't move."
"It'll be ok little Bird, I have you," the alpha cooed, holding her tighter. "You'll have to do something for me to make them go away, okay?"
He stared at her. "Do you have any idea the kinds of things they would do to you?"
"Like you didn't do any worse!"
The Winter Soldier slowly opened the door, allowing the other alphas and his handler to see into the small room.
"You going to have some fun before the mission tomorrow?" one of the alphas sneered as they peered in to see the omega in the bed.
She was sitting up, her legs extended before her. She was told to sit still, complete with no emotions. Her hands were folded in front of her. The perfect position for an omega.
"I am," the Soldier growled, attempting to flex his muscles as a warning. His shirt and jacket were on the floor before the bed.
The handler smirked. "I knew there was a reason why you picked her," he laughed. "Come on boys, I'll call up some girls down the street."
"I did what I had to do to protect you."
"You killed several of my friends! Why didn't you think to protect them? They were there the longest!"
"Soldat?" the omega uttered, looking up at him as he walked towards her. "Please don't hurt me."
"Relax, Bird," he whispered. "You sleep there. I'll sleep on the floor."
"I didn't kill them, I swear."
"Liar!" Kaylee yelled, standing up. "I saw their bodies! You marked them!"
"I didn't do it, Kaylee," Bucky said, looking up at her. "Yes, I had sex with them but I didn't kill them."
"Lies! You strangled them!"
"Now around the neck like I showed you!" the alpha yelled from across the room as he watched her take down a beta.
"Kaylee-" Natasha warned, which was cut off by Steve.
"Let them hash something out," Steve whispered. "It'll kill them both if they don't talk."
"Soldat?" the omega looked up at him. He was dissociating from the environment. They both knew what was coming shortly. It was days before her serum trial and tomorrow, he'll go through the machine once more.
"It's ok, little one," he asked, bringing her head closer to him. "It'll be fine."
"I'm not gonna explain things to you if you truly believe that," Bucky huffed. "Why are you starting this bullshit?"
"Bullshit? You ruined my life! You claim to protect me when you didn't!"
"Bullshit, Kaylee!" Bucky snapped, quickly standing up. They both had a few feet between them. "Bullshit!"
"If you want to speak with me, you'll have to talk to the Winter Soldier," the omega huffed, turning back to her book.
"Didn't you hear?" the alpha smirked, snatching her book out of her hand. "He left. Without you."
"Liar," she growled, glaring at him.
The alpha smirked, pulling his fist above her head. "You're mine tonight."
"You should have let them kill me!"
"I'm sorry I couldn't because of what they do to omegas!"
Kaylee looked taken back. "What?" she breathed. "Explain yourself!"
Bucky locked his jaw, staring at her. Anger flared into his body. It was for himself. She deserved the truth. But not in this state.
Kaylee scoffed, walking towards the wall. "Unbelievable. You're going to make things up now?"
Bucky glared at her, a low growl coming from the back of his throat in warning to the omega. She looked back at him when she heard the warning. War raged in her eyes as she looked at his, she only saw guilt and anger.