Vee Vivis
I was in the pub with my friends for another drinking session to celebrate our gathering in the first day of another year in our college life. I was supposed to enjoy this night that I am finally a free man once again after breaking up with that younger guy named Masa Masahiro.
But the opposite was happening instead. I can't get him out of my mind.
"Vee! What's wrong with that long face of yours? I thought you are finally happy to be single again." Phailin, one of the girls from the group leered at me. She was one of those friends who rooted for Masa and me. When I told them earlier that we were finally over, Phailin almost cried in disbelief.
"Right! You have been waiting for this moment since the first day of your relationship with that nong right? Why do you look like your broken hearted? Are you finally having feelings for nong Masa?" Rune who sits beside me asked while repleneshing my empty glass with another round of beer. I didn't answer him nor Phailin. I just emptied my newly refilled glass in my mouth like I was so thirsty for it.
I don't even understand why I am acting this way.
When that nong and I started dating, it was just like being friends but with a little responsibility towards each other. When I take him along with me to meet my friends, I can sometimes forget he was on the table with us. I eat together with him during breaks out of obligation. Everything I did with him, I only did out of obligation and not because I like or love him.
After a month of doing that senseless and tiring routine, I grew weary and I started to feel pity for the younger person. I pity him because he was being so patient with me. I know he can feel how I was treating him. But he chose to stay with me still hoping that someday, I would finally look at him the way he looks at me.
The way he stared at me this morning was a totally new experience. It's as if he's a different person. His eyes no longer shines with innocence and glee. It was replaced with an eerie shade of contempt and grief, like the eyes of a person who have undergone a series of unfortunate events in his life.
I don't think the break up alone did that thing to his eyes. Something must have happened in Japan.
"Speak of the devil Vee! Have you seen your facebook yet?" Luke asked making everybody in the table dived down to their mobile phones. I did the same.
Masa Masahiro
2min
Change his relationship status to SINGLE.
Jane: Is this really happening? Like for real, real? 🥺😖
Pran: Single and ready to mingle with ____?🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻🤔
Masa Masahiro: haha... I told you already Pran! Anyone will do. 😉
Karl: Why? What did Vee do?
Phailin: Nooooooo...Nong Masa.😭😖
VMfc: You too look so good together. Why break up?
I almost slammed my phone down the table and poured more beer to my glass, gulping it immediately to calm down my nerves. I am getting angry and I don't like feeling this way.
The table grew silent as my friends noticed the sudden change in my mood.
"Vee? Are you ok? You are not affected by this right?" Nin who is the other girl apart from Phailin was the one who was brave enough to ask.
"The hell I am!" I forcefully bring my glass down the table spilling it's contents around my friends. I inhaled deeply and leaned back at the couch, closing my eyes, trying to relax. I felt someone patting my shoulders but I ignored it.
Why am I so worked up on this? I do not love that Nong from the very beginning until this morning when I finally ended everything between us. Why can't I forget the way he looked at me as he poured that icy lemonade in between my pants? His seductive smile complimented well with the depth of his staring like he was trying to pull me in.
Ugh! What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I thinking this kind of things?
*
"Is that Nong Masa? Oh my God! Why is he suddenly this sexy?"
"He broke up with P Vee right? So I can hit on him?"
"Too bad he doesn't like girls. I really like him though."
"He doesn't like girls? But I saw him flirting with one a moment ago inside the girl's washroom."
"Really? Does that mean he's bisexual? So I can have a chance to hit on him?"
"Do you think Vee would mind though?"
"Nah! They are over! Vee doesn't have the right anymore."
My eyes flew suddenly open with the words of that last person I heard talking. They were a group of engineering students drinking in the next table. They were talking casually because they haven't seen me sitting next to them. And they were talking as if that younger person was also in the same pub we were in at the moment.
"Vee. Don't mind them. They are stupid and don't know what they are talking about." Phailin eyed the group of engineers from the next table like they are some kind of filth.
I have no interest in any of them. What I wanted is to find that person they are talking about. I scanned the place trying to look for that younger person.
"Vee? If you are looking for Nong Masa I saw him walked out of that door seconds ago." Kit pointed at the door in front of us. I hesitated for a while but my legs was pushing me to stand.
"Talk nicely with each other, will you?" Nin reminded me. I just nodded at my friends and hurriedly went out to look for my ex boyfriend.
"Call us if you needed some help ai Vee!" I heard Rune yelling after me. But my attention is now focused on finding that younger person.
I found him as soon as I walked out of the door. At first I thought I had mistaken another person for that nong. It's because the person I'm seeing in front of me was locking his lips with some beautiful girl I am not familiar with.
The two persons were glued to each other, ignoring the people that were staring at them in disbelief. Some of the bystanders were even taking pictures and video of the two of them. Masa continued to devour the lips of the girl he was clinging to.
I don't know how long I was looking at them. I wasn't able to move a muscle from experiencing the strangest thing that I have ever felt in my entire life.
Something was happening inside me that made me want to scream at the top of my lungs. There was also this irrational urge of wanting to pull Masa away from that girl and punch that pretty face of his until he can no longer see anyone else but me.
"Shiya! Is that P Vee watching? Oh no. How can Masa do that?"
"Did they just broke up?"
"The nerve of that nong! Poor P Vee."
The buzzing voices around me added more to my raging feelings as I blindly step closer towards the nong and the girl who finally ended their kissing. The younger person was now twirling his fingers on the girl's hair while his other hand moved down to her thin waist. He was smiling seductively down at the girl who was clearly bewitched with his charm by now.
"Masa." I don't know why my voice was all shaky when I called out his name. He turned slowly to look at me and raised his eyebrows as if annoyed from being interrupted. The girl turned white when she realized who I was. She immediately pushed herself away from Masa.
"P Vee kub. Uh. I'm sorry. I'll go now." She hurriedly walked away leaving Masa and me staring at each other.
"What?" He barked at me before lighting up a cigarette to put in his pretty mouth. I don't even know that he smokes. No, he never smokes before. I'm sure of that.
"You smoke now?"
"What about it?" He inhaled deep in his cigarette and blew the smoke out of his mouth in my direction. He still has that gloomy aura in him as he stares back at me with his unusually cold eyes.
"What happened to you?" I asked stepping more closer that I can now inhale his cigarettes. He leaned the back of his head to the wall as he smiled staring up the night sky.
"What is it to you? Didn't we broke up already?" His lack of honorifics to me as his senior bothered me. Ever since he came back from Japan, he was talking to me rudely like this.
"Nong, you were acting weird ever since you came back from your vacation. You are not your usual self. What happened to you? Or are you just retaliating because of our break up? Can we talk about this?" I was now closer to him than before. He removed his gazed from the stars to look at me. There was no trace of smile on his face this time.
"You are just like Saya, P."
"Huh? Whose Saya?"
"What's wrong with you people? How many times do I have to say that when you guys break up with me, then break up with me! End the story right away! Why do you keep on coming back? For what? To throw me some pity?" I can smell the alcohol from his breath. Is he drunk? He was already stuttering a little. I don't even understand half of what he was talking about. Saya who?
"Well I don't need your pity! I can survive this on my own! So back off already! Hottoite yo!" He was so loud that people that were passing by started staring at us again. Masa glared and flicked his fingers at them making them go away. It was now evident that he was drunk as he swayed on his feet when he tried to moved from the wall where he was leaning for support.
"Careful." I grabbed on his arms to prevent him from falling to the ground. I put my other hand to support him in his waist, pulling him up to stand. He turned his head to look at me, his eyes half close from drunkenes.
"Huh! You! You care for niisama? You care for me now? HaHa!" He started making faces while his fingers kept on pointing at my face. I helped him walk towards my car. This nong needs to go home now. Problem is I do not know where he lives.
In three months time that we dated, I have never offered myself to take him home after class. Not even once. He was also discreet not to push it to me. He always respected our boundaries. I told him I'm not ready to let my parents know about us. So I don't know where this kid lives.
"Oi! Where are you taking me? I can go home on my..." I slammed the door at the front seat of my car before he could even finish complaining.
"Where do you live? I'm taking you home." I asked while I started driving us out of the pub's parking lot.
"Huh? Nani? You do not know? Hontou?" He twitched his body from the car seat to look at me. His eyes unbelieving. Why does he keep on inserting Japanese words in between his sentence? It becomes annoying as I do not understand any of it.
"In three months you haven't taken nii, me home?" He continued leaning his face closer to mine. I can smell the mixture of his cologne with the alcohol and cigarettes he took. It was strangely an alluring scent. Damn!
"What is wrong with you? Why do you keep on asking me those things as if you didn't know it yourself? Are you on amnesia or something?" I tried to focus my eyes on the road.
"Huh! Haha. Amnesia." He laughed at the word. "In between the two types of amnesia, which do you think sounds better to have? The Retrograde one where you forget your old memories but can start anew or the Anterograde where creating new memories would be difficult but you can retain the ones from your past? Which one would you rather choose P?" I forgot this nong studies medicine. He answered my questions with a more complex one.
"Why are you asking me this?!" How can I choose between the two? Both seem to be terrible choices to begin with.
********************************
The younger person beside me just sighed loudly before sitting back straight on his seat.
"Don't you find it thrilling to have this kind of desperate choices once in your life P? What if you really encountered one someday? Will you be brave enough to choose what you think will better benefit you?" He is now talking more seriously while looking out of the car window.
"What really happened to you Mas? Was it me who causing you all this? Were you really that hurt because of the break up? Tell me please. Because my conscience won't be able to let me rest if I continue seeing you like this." I still asked even though I know that I was not completely the cause for the sudden change in his personality. I would also like to add that even if I haven't love him, I still care for him as his senior. I'm not sure I can't bring to say those lines now.
"Stop thinking that only love can change a person P. The world doesn't revolve on love alone." He responded now looking in front of him.
"Then what is it? Tell me." I pushed.
"You aren't anyone in my life right now P. Why do you think I would tell you?" He chuckled softly mocking me.
"Masa."
"I don't think you would believe me anyway." He looked sideways to look at me. The side of his mouth slightly twitching like he's challenging me.
"Try me. Sometimes a friend is a better listener than a lover. You know I am always this way for you." The word friend to describe me was a little difficult to pronounce. The younger person was now staring down at his hands.
"I died in Japan P. Masa died in Japan." He said in a deadpan voice. There is no sense in what he was saying to me.
*
"Be serious Mas. I am listening to you." I responded trying to control my irritation. I saw him closing his eyes and leaning back at the car's backrest. There was no hint of smile in his handsome face again.
"I didn't imagine being dead is this complicated. I am like a ghost having that two types of amnesia at the same time P. Someone else's past is preventing me from making new memories of my own. It's suffocating."
Masa's voice trembled as he told me all this. I still didn't know what he was talking about. Is he making fun of me? Am I that insignificant now that he can't tell me what's going on with his life? Does he have to go to this extent to lie to me and tell me he's a ghost?
"But I have to continue doing this. I've made a choice. A difficult one. And I have to stand with my decision. There is no turning back for me now." He diverted his gaze from his hands to look back outside of the road.
"Whatever! Don't tell me then!" I fired up at him now feeling frustrated. If he refused to tell me, then fine! I'm not gonna beg further. He is no one to me after all.
"P Vee?" I was a little startled when he called my name. I'm not planning on answering him. I can't let him continue to play around with my sanity.
"P Vee?" He called me yet again. This time, more softly.
"Thank you." He said making me to look sideways at his direction. He was still lost staring outside the car window.
"What the hell for?" I asked crudely.
"For listening." He simply answered. I can only roll my eyes from the pluckiness in his behavior.
"P Vee?" When will he stop? I didn't remember the old him to be this annoying. Is it because of the alcohol? I've never seen the old Masa drunk before. Everything that I am having with this guy ever since he came back from Japan were all new to me. Even this lengthy and senseless conversation we had just now.
"P? Did we kissed before? Or had sex?" I almost hit the breaks from this outrageous question from him. I choked on my own saliva and tried to cough it out desperately.
"Your reaction tells me we haven't done any." He was chuckling while patting on my back.
"Are you on drugs or something?" I felt my face heating up but has nothing to do with the alcohol. I avoided his eyes and just focused on the road in front of me. Why is my heart beating so fast?
"P Vee." Ugh. What now?
"P?" He continued calling me in his small voice that I can now describe as cute.
"What!" I yelled at him without looking his way.
"Can I sleep at your place tonight?"
🤔🤔🤔
📌Some Notes
*Let me summarize to you the names of the supporting characters because even me gets confused sometimes.haha. I came from writing Waxing crescent where the supporting characters were mostly derived drom the original novel. So choosing Thai names on randon here in Love Chromosomes is a little bit tricky. So XX chromosomes for female while XY for male.
Vee's friends:
Phailin(xx)
Rune(xy)
Luke(xy)
Nin(xx)
Kit(xy)
Mark(Masa)'s friends:
Jane(xx)
Pran(xy)
Mark's ex girlfriend: Saya