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The time to find out the baby's gender was inching closer and closer as the night went on. Nessa tried to distract herself by mingling with her close friends and spending time playing the ridiculous games that Noah and Bryce had set up in the backyard but she was itching to know what she was having. Her heart hopes that it's a girl for Josh but she knows that no matter what color lights up the dark night sky, the both of them will be happy.
"Are you ready?" A very excited Mads asks as she and Addison help Nessa walk over to the area she she and all the guests will stand as the fireworks go off.
Pressing her lips together into a thin line, Nessa asks herself the same question. Is she ready? Is she ready at all? The quick answer is no but the follow up is that she will be. She has to be.
"As I'll ever be" she manages to reply.
Her olive green eyes dance around the dull lit backyard. Josh and the boys did a good job hanging pretty lanterns and fairy lights to make it seem more magical because after all, that's how they wanted to remember tonight. As magical. Her hand rests on the curve of her growing bump and she feels content. Holding her stomach has quickly become the thing that calms her down the most. Maybe there's some deeper psychological meaning as to why or maybe it's just simply because she knows her baby is inside. Either way, she loves the feeling it fills her with more than anything and Nessa knows that when the bumps gone, she's going to miss it profoundly.
After helping to set up the fireworks, Josh takes a moment for himself in the kitchen. He props himself up onto the island and just breathes. He thinks about taking out his phone and calling his parents but they're out of town all week for business so the last thing he wants to do is disturb them and although they both insisted on staying to support Josh and Nessa, the couple decided that they appreciated the offer but it was okay for them to miss the party.
Another thought that crosses the boys busy mind is how close they are to having their baby. It scares him to death knowing that he's going to be responsible for a life. He's going to be responsible for that tiny little person that he helped create and that terrifies him but what haunts him the most is the fact he might not even get the chance to be responsible for that little life. Not if the universe says 'fuck you' and the worst happens. That's what scares him most.
"Hey, what're you doing in here? We're about to set the fireworks off" Anthony asks as he pokes his head around the corner. Josh immediately shakes off all the worry he's been keeping to himself and paints on a smile that wipes away any doubt that he's not coping.
"Just needed to breathe for a sec" he says with a grin, joining one of his best friends before they make their way out into the backyard.
The guests are all crowded around in the one area, their mumbles of excitement roaring louder than the low music that's playing in the background. Josh finds his way over to the spot Nessa is standing at- watching as Bryce and Blake get ready to light the explosives.
Neither of the two register that the countdown has started as they're both busy trying to drown out the noise that is their beating hearts pounding in their ears.
Nessa looks up at Josh intently.
7
He feels her gaze and looks down at her, squeezing her hand so that she knows everything's okay.
5
"No matter what the result, we'll love it just as much- right?" She asks with an uneasy smile and raised eyebrows. Nessa knows the answer but she needs to hear him confirm.
3
Nodding his head, Josh pulls her in close to his side and her arm hooks around his waist at once. They join in on the last few seconds of the countdown- together.
2
1
In a matter of milliseconds the rockets shoot up into the sky- a deafening and intense bang quickly followed after. The pitch black night sky is promptly lit up with a beautiful contrasting shade of power pink and the reactions from the guests start to overpower the sound of explosives that are still scattering above them. Everyone cheers and laughs happily as they start to hug each other and the ones who guessed girl from the beginning are understandably bragging about how they were right.
But in their same spot- Nessa stands with her hand on her bump of course and her eyes brimming with tears of happiness. She can't quite fathom what she just found out but she is overjoyed with the fact she is having a beautiful baby daughter and she now has the opportunity to be the mother that she had always needed her own mom to be for her.
Josh let's go of his hold on Nessa and slowly disappears into the darkness of the night while his friends are celebrating- too busy being excited to notice that he's gone. But Nessa doesn't fail to feel the absence of her boyfriends touch. She spins around with a smile- expecting to be met with an emotional Josh who's going to have a daughter. But instead she only sees the space where he once was.
It doesn't take too long for her to find him however. He didn't exactly go somewhere nobody would find him which makes Nessa feel a little better. She watches as he looks over the balcony at the view of Los Angeles that's rather breathtaking at night. The city lights dance around and distant noise from the earlier busy streets starting to sleep calms him while he fights back any emotion that threatens to surface.
"Something tells me that those aren't happy tears. And that worries me Joshua". Nessa's quiet voice startles him for a split second until he shrugs it off.
Slowly, the boy clenches his eyes shut tight before sniffing and wiping his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He doesn't want to turn around and face her but he knows that he has to.
Stepping a little closer to him, Nessa hesitantly reaches out to touch his face delicately but he swiftly backs away, clenching his jaw in frustration. This movement angers the smaller girl.
"What's the matter? Aren't you happy?. Did you change your mind about wanting a girl and so you're what?....You're pissed it's not a boy?. Josh you said you'd love it no matter-"
"It's not that". He cuts her off quickly.
Confused, Nessa throws her hands up in the air. Another reason then pops into her head and she gasps, feeling like the wind has just been knocked out of her. Her bottom lip starting to tremble. She doesn't want to believe her assumption but if it's not about the baby's gender then she has no other answer.
"You've changed your mind. Haven't you?".
The sentence that flew past her quivering lips was hushed but to Josh it boomed in his ears. His body started to fill with rage as the accusation was hurdled towards him. He pushes himself off of the railing and turns to face the mother of his unborn child with creased eyebrows and dark- yet fiery eyes.
"Absolutely not! How could you even suggest tha-"
"What am I supposed to suggest Josh?" She cries in frustration. "You left me. Standing there alone, mere seconds after we find out that we're having a daughter and then you don't want me to touch you! What's that all about?".
Josh softens his expression, now realizing how his reactions and silence has led her to make up all sorts of scenarios in her head. He didn't mean for her to think like that and he sure as hell didn't mean to leave her standing alone after getting the best news he's ever received . The best news they've ever received.
"C'mere Bambi". He softly smiles, pulling at her arm gently. She reluctantly allows herself to be pulled into his arms because she needs to be comforted and he needs to explain.
"Joshua. I love you. I need you to tell me the truth about why you went off and why you're behaving so out of damn character right now" she sighs, resting her head on his chest.
Josh takes a deep breath before using his hand to tilt her chin up. Nessa looks up at him- her large green orbs staring into his. He takes the opportunity to place a soft, intimate kiss on her forehead.
"I'm not upset at the results. I'm happy, even if I don't look it" He promises. She nods, gesturing for him to continue.
"I'm scared Bambi. Now, more than I was ever before. Since the second I found out about this baby- my head has been filling non-stop with milestone moments that I can't wait to be apart of and activities I'll be able to do and it's always been with my daughter." He confesses. "I've thought about her first day at daycare and how she'll be sad to leave at first but also at the same time she'll be stronger than me and be excited to start her new adventure. Then I thought about me teaching her how to ride a bike and how to swim and play football or soccer or whatever damn sport she wants to play- if she even wants to play. I've thought about our first daddy daughter dance at school and then eventually her prom. I've thought about every little detail and I don't want to lose that. I cant lose that".
The truth lingers above them both as they stare at each other- Nessa at a loss for words. That was the sweetest most heartbreaking thing she's ever heard. Josh isn't upset that they're having a daughter. He's upset that the daughter he's always wanted to have might get ripped away from him before he even has the chance to hold her. It makes perfect sense now.
Nessa takes his face into her hands and uses her thumb to caress his cheek gingerly. Josh has been her rock so many times throughout her pregnancy and life in general and he has offered her so much comfort in times when she's needed it most. It's now her turn to do the same for him.
"You are not going to lose her, okay? You are going to be able to do all of those things with our daughter and I can guarantee that because she's part me and part you and we're both the most stubborn people alive so that sure as hell means our little girl is going to be too. Don't doubt her just yet because she hasn't given us any reason to and I already know for a fact that she's going to want to be just like her daddy and be the best football player there ever was".
Josh nods his head while beaming down at her - feeling the most content he has felt all day. Soon he crashes his lips onto hers and they share an intimate moment that's pure and special to them . A moment that they'll always remember.
Pulling away, Josh has a mischievous look on his face. "You really think she'll be the best football player?" He chuckles.
Nessa nods her head firmly.
"Definitely. I can see it now! Abigail Julia Richards! Super Bowl champion" She smiles, gesturing with her hands as if she were reading off of a billboard.
Their laughter dies down and Josh gets serious again for a minute.
"Abigail? That's her name?" He beams. He can't believe she remembered how badly he wanted to name the baby that. Confirming it with a kiss, Nessa smiles.
"Abigail Julia Richards. That's her name".
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HI!!
so what do we think of the name?
im going to be posting more sneak peeks and polls on my insta this week so make sure you go follow it for the chance to see and take part!!
( @ nessarights )
this book is unfortunately coming to an end
very soon but before i can write the final chapter- i need to know if you guys want this book to have a sequel !!
im gonna make 2 final chapters and depending on whether or not y'all want a sequel, i'll post the chapter that fits. the chapter that doesn't fit can be posted too so y'all can see the alternative!!
anyways that's all i gotta say right now.
hope you enjoy reading :)