The presenter waited some more seconds before saying something. In the meantime, on the behind screen the names and the pictures of the eliminated, which were six people, so one more than they were expecting.
Wooyoung had frozen in his place. He could feel his blood stopping his running, the breath getting caught in his throat, the head getting dizzy. He wasn't able to process the information, yet his body did. And he tried his best to stay still, because he didn't want to have an excessive reaction in front of the cameras. He was about to pass out.
Instead, Seonghwa and San had shocked looks on their faces. They also shared a concerning gaze, and Seonghwa had to stop San from running towards the other. San was also about to cry but did his best to roll tears back in his eyes. Yet, they were clearly watery and red.
What the fuck?
Some more guys were crying.
"We were so close..."
Then, the presenter added some words and the broadcast ended. Everything was muffled and foggy. Wooyoung made his legs to move for the backstage, to follow all the guys, but his mind was shut. It was somewhere else. When they finally reached the back room, he sat and stayed silent. Seonghwa ran in his direction, together with San and Hongjoong. San was now clearly crying.
"Wooyoung... Are you okay?" the dark-haired boy looked like a dementor had just eaten his soul. Pale skin, widened eyes, not a clear feeling of what was happening around him. Seonghwa stayed at proper distance, and forced San to stay there, too. The guy didn't say a word but close his eyes and started to take deep breath.
"Woo... Please, talk..." he buried his head between his fingers and stayed like this for minutes. Seonghwa suggested to leave him some space, but San didn't want to. San was acting like the rational part of Wooyoung: crying, yelling at everything and everyone, because it simply couldn't be. Seonghwa had to hug him tightly to shut his mouth, the other trainees were a bit confused for his reaction, though it was clear that the two were very close.
"San, listen to me. This is not the end. There's a life outside. You're gonna meet him again, ok?" Seonghwa kept pushing the shorter's face in his chest, as his crying became more sobbing and desperate and the grip on his shoulder wasn't planning on loosening.
___ • ___
Wooyoung walked in his room and sat himself on the ground, against the door. His roommate wasn't there. He got eliminated, too, so he was talking and doing stuff with some friends, before packing. They had to leave immediately. But Wooyoung definitely needed some more time to process everything. He still didn't have energy to cry out his feelings, nor to try to answer all the questions he could have. Which he didn't have, actually. The voice of his thoughts was just a mess right now, he couldn't understand a thing.
That's when some knocks burst into the room, making him to flinch out of the blue. The person outside wasn't talking, but he was sure he was San.
And he was right.
Just as he opened the door, a messy San appeared. Even if the guy wanted to jump into the room and hug him tightly, he forced himself to leave Wooyoung some space. By the way, the younger didn't like that look of pity. It was the last thing he needed, honestly.
San slowly brushed his face, making the shorter's gaze to go on their feet. He tried to make a step further and Wooyoung let him enter the room, closing the door behind them.
"How much time do you have before leaving?" San tried to speak quietly.
Wooyoung processed the question, opened his mouth to answer, but the voice died in his chest. His eyes watered immediately, like he just understood everything. He stared deeply in San's dark eyes and he could see all the past months in them: the training, the final exam, the first win. San. Lights out.
His breath started to come out hard and rough, and that's when San urged to hug him and circled his arms around his body.
Wooyoung broke in tears and sobs, surrounding San's wide back with his arms. They stayed like this for several minutes, before someone was about to enter. For sure it was Jisung, Wooyoung's roommate. The latter didn't want to move, though, so San took his hand and look at him in the eyes, brushing away the tears. Wooyoung shook his head, he didn't want anyone to see him that way. San nodded, he could understand the other's worries even without hearing them from his mouth. So much considering how they started.
San opened the door and Jisung rushed into the room.
"Hey, Jisung, how are you?" he asked with a caring voice. The little guy flinched at the sudden voice. He had clearly had a crying session, too. His eyes were red and had no positive emotion in them.
"Oh, hey, San... Well, I have to pack." San nodded while Wooyoung was hiding behind his back. The taller kept the door opened so the two could rush to exit the room, as Wooyoung wished. San gave a little pat on Jisung's shoulder before letting the other to run out, following his figure. Before he could run away even from him, he took his wrist and walked the two in a place which was the only right one at the moment: the dance room.
They rushed not to be seen by anyone and closed the door behind them. Wooyoung stood still, again that blank look in his eyes, which scared San a lot. His cheeks were wet and shiny, but he could see no emotion in his pupils. Even during the hardest moments, when the younger hid his feelings, you could see something inside him. Instead, now it seemed totally empty. Like he even hasn't any more tears.
San slowly walked in his direction and started to brush his face.
"Woo... Talk to me." He tried to say, but Wooyoung shifted his gaze away, eyes watering again hearing that caring and so beloved voice. The taller slid closer and buried his face in his neck. Wooyoung was doing his best not to cry again but feeling the skin of his neck to get wet because of San's tears wasn't helping him.
"Please, talk to me." He was squeezing his back so hard. Wooyoung suddenly remembered when the eliminated was Yeonjun, and how destroyed he felt for his departure. He started to brush San's hair, confident that helping him to release the fear could also help himself not to think about the life he was going to face, now, coming back home. He brought San's chin and lifted his face to look at him, both their looks were tarnished for the tears and San was even sobbing.
"I-I'll be fine." The younger tried to say and added a little smirk, before breaking in tears again. They stayed like this, body interlaced together, breathing their own fragrances, feeling closer for the last time in a while. They both knew it wasn't a farewell.
Wooyoung hasn't faced the reality of not seeing San until now. He was desperate for the program, for his training journey, but then he just remembered that he was going to have no possibilities to talk to him until the end of the program. He wasn't confident enough at the moment to hope that they could recatch after that time, even if it was just a week.
"S-San... I have to pack." He choked out, pulling a little back. Of course, San wasn't planning of leaving his body, making Wooyoung to feel even worse about the upcoming departure.
"You deserve to stay here..." San muttered in his neck. This made Wooyoung to mask a sigh under a little chuckle. He brought the older's face again in his palms and look at it straight in the eyes, as they used to do, as they loved to do, connecting their souls like no one had ever done before. That's the only way Wooyoung felt good and free.
"So win this fucking program for me too, ok?" Wooyoung added and soon after they pulled their bodies to share an intense and dramatic farewell kiss, with San keeping his tears to roll down and the other trying his best to comfort him. At least, he could have more time to process everything, while he had only a few minutes to comfort San.
Soon after, they made their way out to their rooms, and Wooyoung packed everything. He just threw everything in the bag, without minding organising it, as he used to do. His mind was totally shut, and it was the best thing so far not to freeze again. Not now.
He kept this mood for the whole time of packing, then walking out the building. He did his best not to look his behind. He wasn't ready. Though, he couldn't even spend the night home: of course, they brought the trainees to another hotel just for the night, before letting them to come back home definitely.
Ha sat on his bed and his first instinct was to take his sim back into his phone, searching immediately for a certain number. It was late night, but since the live broadcast, he was sure that person was awake, waiting for his calling. The first smile of the last hours appeared on his lips as hearing the voice at the other side.
"Hey, Yeonjun. Did you miss me?"
.
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re-reading this chapter made me emotional omg
despite everything, i hope you stop to blame woo because he's clearly a good person, he just needs some times to open himself with people😭
GUYS PLEASE STOP HERE A SEC
firstly, thanks for reading and not hating me too much for this (i hope)
but i need your help for something, it's really important and takes really a little time
In my bio you will find a form for an online dance contest. it's really important for me and it will help me to buy some things i need for my work (which is video recording), so please, in the soloist category (the second column) vote for me >>> Kys - Dream of you
thank you for the ones who will do it for me💙
(ps- sorry for spamming in this story but i'd like to reach more foreign people for my work ;_; )