Legs jumped up and down continuously without any reason though he knew why. He was nervous again. The same feeling of nervousness and slight sadness at the pit of his stomach. He knew the reason behind the nervousness but the sadness? He didn't.
Taehyung glanced at the clock. 9pm. The ravenette still wasn't back from his date. If he wasn't back yet then he certainly was enjoying himself and we could say this time he succeeded right? Suddenly a strange lump felt around his chest and throat. He should be happy if the date was successful right? Then why suddenly the situation doesn't sit right with him?
He stared at his jumpy legs and drowned himself into deep thoughts. He suddenly chuckled loudly. Of course he knows why the feeling wasn't sitting right with him because he was missing the feeling. It's been really long since he has been on a date. It's been so long that he felt tingly and bubbly due to a date. He was happy for his best friend but he couldn't help feeling a little jealous because he wished he could enjoy going on dates as well.
No wonder he was feeling strange from the time his best friend left for his date. He just hopes that he succeeded this time.
He walked to the kitchen and brought out a strawberry milk from the refrigerator and sipped on it happily but the strange feeling in his stomach and chest still did not subside even though he realized the reason.
"It's okay though if he doesn't enjoy the date." Taehyung mumbled to himself, pouting at the strawberry milk.
"I'll just look for someone else." Taehyung continued mumbling to himself.
Just on cue, the entrance of the apartment opened indicating Jeongguk was back even though the boy did yell a 'I am home'.
Taehyung immediately placed the half drunk strawberry milk on the dining table and rushed towards the door to see a smiling Jeongguk.
Somehow the smile didn't make the silver-head smile but then he shrugged the feeling aside guessing he was jealous again and he immediately wiggled his eyebrows with a smug grin on his lips.
"How was it?" Taehyung asked, his eyebrows still wiggling.
"God, you're literally like every mother on this planet asking their child how their paper went after he returns from attending an exam. 'How was it?'" Jeongguk couldn't help but mimic the elder.
"If that's how you're gonna reply to me on time then, tell mommy how was your date?" Taehyung asked impatiently, laughing a bit.
"Mommy, the date was unsuccessful. Happy?" Jeongguk asked, tilting his head with a fake smile etched to his lips as he walked towards the kitchen to drink water.
Taehyung frowned and placed his hands on his hips.
"Why? What happened this time?" Taehyung asked, the frown not disappearing.
"He is trying to move on from a heartbreak and I am really not ready to be someone's rebound." Jeongguk replied as he drank a glass of water in one go. His body wasn't dehydrated but his mind definitely was.
"What the fuck? Really? What an asshole." Taehyung immediately yelled glaring at the glass in Jeongguk's hand.
"No he wasn't. He was sweet and well we kinda became friends. He is a good guy." Jeongguk replied with a sigh, clearly tired. Again not physically but mentally.
"You go on dates, never get a second date but definitely get yourself a friend." Taehyung replied, mumbling, rolling his eyes.
Yes. Taehyung knows how Ji-eun is Jeongguk's friend now.
"I am tired now,Tae. Can I go to sleep now or there are more interrogations?" Jeongguk asked without any expression on his face.
Taehyung stared at the blank Jeongguk in front of him and suddenly he felt cold. The warmness that Jeongguk's features always radiated, missing making him so distant.
And why wouldn't he be? He was so tired, so done.
"Go get some sleep, Ggukie." Taehyung replied as his voice slightly shivered.
Jeongguk simply nodded his head and mumbled out a small 'good night' and then left for his bedroom.
Taehyung felt himself staring at the muscled back of Jeongguk with a blank face. Why does it feel like Jeongguk is going away somewhere far from me?
Taehyung shook his head vigorously and smacked his own head at the back lightly.
"Stop thinking of useless things and go to sleep as well." Taehyung scolded himself and ran off to his own bedroom.
Jeongguk again curled himself into a ball and tried his best to sink into his blanket. His chest hurting again and the corner of eyes slightly burning. Every time he thinks that it's okay, he can handle the pain, handle the one-sided stupidity, one glance of the silver-head and his heart is at the edge.
Jeongguk completely loses himself. His control over himself doesn't stay within his limit. He doesn't know what his next step might be. He could yell, scream, throw things, snap, lash out or maybe get on his knees, crumble into a ball and break down, crying his heart out and he wasn't ready for the elder to witness any of it.
He hid his face under his rough hands and inhaled a deep breath. He needs to try and ignore the elder a bit, maybe not completely because remember? He is pathetic, his life is pathetic and he is weak, fucking weak for Taehyung. But he does have to ignore him because even though he is greedy, pathetic and weak, he needs to keep himself safe. He needs to do this for himself, for his fragile heart. He will ignore Taehyung even if it's a little bit because as he said before, sometimes ignorance is bliss. He may not ever get the feeling of bliss delivered by love but he can at least get it delivered by ignorance.
So that's what he did the next morning. He didn't sleep properly, how could he when he could feel his heart literally tearing inside, his mind on the other hand mocking him. Screaming how big of a fool he is. How Taehyung is so close to him yet he was so far away from his reach.
He woke up way before Taehyung would, prepared the younger's strawberry pancakes and left a note that said, "Had work early today, eat up and enjoy yourself and please don't break anything."
He left the house just so he could avoid meeting the elder. He knows he cannot avoid the elder forever or for a longer time but at least for a little time he could and he would.
While he was making his way towards the cafe, he couldn't help but laugh at himself a bit.
People told him to leave the house, run away, absolutely stop staying there because of a ghost that haunts the house. And here he was, leaving the house early in the morning, running away, trying his best to absolutely stop staying there because yes, his house is haunted by a ghost but the reason being so different. Yes, he is running away from the house because of the ghost but not because he is scared of the ghost, but because he doesn't want to fall more deeply in love with the ghost than he already is.
Every time when the silver-head giggled and Jeongguk felt him stare at him a minute longer than he should, every time when the silver-head would pout, whining because of not getting something he wanted and Jeongguk gave in because there wasn't any chance he wanted the elder upset, every time the elder had his hair wet after showers, and Jeongguk stared at the water beads on his face and nose, he gulped inaudibly, every time Jeongguk found himself drowning in those gorgeous hypnotizing turquoise orbs when he shouldn't even take a second look at it, every time, Jeongguk bought sweets, food, even the ones he hates without the silver-head asking for it just because the elder loved it and every time, Taehyung called him Ggukie, followed by his lips forming a pout because that's how his lips are and Jeongguk craved it and his heart skipped a beat loudly, Jeongguk knew, he knew that he is doomed.
He was always attracted to the ghost from the very first sight and the fear made him inquisitive as well as curious towards him because that made the silver-head more attractive and hot but when the above little things were noticed by Jeongguk, he knew he was not just attracted but he was head over heels for the elder because if you're not in love, you're heart wouldn't ever skip a beat just because of how your own name rolled out of the other's tongue.
Taehyung is a mystery. Jeongguk knows that even after being best friends with the elder, he hardly knows much about him. Taehyung's mysterious nature, smiling aura, giggly state, literally made Jeongguk indulge himself into the silver-head's afterlife.
Yes, even though Taehyung is a mystery, Jeongguk is ready to solve it, find clues about it but he isn't prepared to reveal his feelings because every time he looks at Taehyung, he finds a lot things in his turquoise eyes, even fondness and love but not the love Jeongguk is looking for---longing for. So, for the sake of his heart completely breaking into pieces, he will keep shut.
On the other side, a sleeping silver-head boy woke up and frowned when no one answered his numerous calls of "Ggukie". His frown intensified when he saw his breakfast with a note and not with his bunny replica best friend.
"This has never happened before?" Taehyung questioned mumbling to himself as he stared at the pancakes, suddenly feeling nauseous and not hungry.
He could feel his stomach churning, feeling scared suddenly but he shrugged it away and calmed himself assuring that Jeongguk must be really busy.
The feeling didn't go away till the evening but it increased huge levels when Jeongguk came home from the cafe without uttering a 'I am home' and didn't even spare the elder a glance.
"Ggukie?" Taehyung asked softly, feeling lost and nervous.
He saw how Jeongguk stilled on his steps and hummed, still not facing him.
"Is something wrong? Did something happen?" Taehyung asked with a small voice.
"Apart from you breaking my heart even though it's unintentional, nothing much." Jeongguk wanted to reply but he wouldn't. Obviously he wouldn't because again, he is greedy but not selfish.
"Nothing is wrong, Tae. I am just super busy today." Jeongguk replied with a sigh as he dashed inside his bedroom not waiting for any reply.
Taehyung froze on his spot and felt how you feel when the sand you were holding in your palm slips away even when you try to hold it strong.
Taehyung knew something was wrong. Taehyung now couldn't ignore the feeling in his stomach anymore. But could he do anything? No, he couldn't because how on earth would he do something if the person who can answer his questions was literally slipping away from him.
"I am already late for work, I gotta rush." Jeongguk uttered as he ran towards the main entrance.
Taehyung immediately came out of his frozen state and uttered a loud 'oh' and ran around the kitchen because he needed to feed Jeongguk something.
"Ggukie, eat a sandwich or maybe just drink that bitter liquid yo---" Taehyung's sentence was cut off when he heard the main door shut loudly.
Taehyung froze again in the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand as his mouth was open as his frown was back.
"He did not tell me bye?" Taehyung asked himself in a mumble as he again felt the sting in his stomach which even suddenly occurred in his chest.
"Is he avoiding me?" Taehyung asked himself as the corner of his eyes stung as well and suddenly he sniffed loudly but then immediately laughed loudly.
"No, it can't be. Ggukie can never avoid me." Taehyung assured himself even though his voice wavered, like it was mocking him that 'are you sure?'.
He shoved his thoughts aside and decided to take a shower and work on his skincare routine even though it was so difficult because his thoughts were only clouded with the thoughts of his Ggukie.
When it was 8pm, Jeongguk was back. Taehyung noticed how the younger was an hour late but didn't question it.
Taehyung thought that maybe he can try and start a conversation again? So he went ahead and dropped himself beside Jeongguk, who was sitting on the couch. He didn't know what he would say but thankfully he did have something to say.
He saw how Jeongguk's body stiffened when he sat beside him and he overlooked it as well.
"Ggukie." Taehyung called out softly.
Jeongguk just hummed as he closed his eyes.
"I have another perfect person for yo---"
"Just tell me the name and the place I need to meet the person when I need to meet the person. I am tired now, I am going to sleep." Jeongguk replied shortly as he stood up and left the drawing room.
Taehyung sat on the couch now alone as he stared at his side where Jeongguk was sitting a minute back as he could feel tears brimming at the corner of his eyes.
Did he really do something wrong?
Taehyung couldn't help but think that yes, something definitely is wrong because why else would Jeongguk give him a cold shoulder? Jeongguk was doing what he does every day in his life, so why is it suddenly so tiring for him that he cannot even look into his eyes once let alone speak to him once?
He placed his palm at the spot where Jeongguk was sitting as he gulped a huge lump in his throat.
You're just in the next room, Ggukie yet why do I feel like you're so far away from me that I can't even get a small, little glance of you?
I guess this is the first time I am making Jeongguk suffer in my book and Taehyung being absolutely dense and oblivious!😂😂😂😂
As I said before, the road won't be too smooth!🤧🤧🤧🤧
I PURPLE YOU!💜💜💜💜
Love,
Miri!😚