*TW: ABUSE*
***
A/N: Hi loves. Sorry for not updating constantly. I'm behind in school and the end of the year is coming and I need to be caught up to pass.
Therefore, I'm only going to be updating on Saturdays.
I hope you understand and thank you. I love you <3.
***
Theo Nott.
She sat there, a smile on her face as she laughed at something Astoria said. She tucked her hair behind her ear, looking at me as she took a bite of her food. She smiled and then turned back to Astoria.
"Do you guys want to go to Hogsmeade tonight? I can pick up some fire whiskey for this weekend and we can either throw a party or just spend some time in one of our dorms?" Draco asked, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.
"Hogsmeade sounds fun," Astoria said.
"Ou! I need more snacks for my drawer so we can stop by that new snack shop." Sadie said, putting her fork down and grabbing her napkin.
"Great! So after classes, we meet up by the fountain?" Pansy stood up with Blaise.
Everyone nodded and waved as Pansy and Blaise left to most likely go and shag. After all, it was their free period. Astoria, Draco, Sadie, and I had a transfiguration.
"You guys ready?" Sadie asked, standing and grabbing her bag.
I stood up and grabbed my bag, walking around the table and over to her. We all sat at the end so it didn't take long to be standing next to her. Draco and Astoria shared a glance, slowly backing away and out with the rest of the crowd.
I threw my arm over Sadies shoulders, pulling her closer to me and making our way to class.
"How's your morning?" I asked, walking through people.
"It was good. Slow and boring, but good." She smiled.
We were getting closer to the classroom now and I hadn't gotten what I wanted just yet. So I looked around and then quickly directed Sadie into a broom closet.
"Nott, what are you doing?" She asked and she tripped over a mop and fell backwards into a bucket. She screamed "You fucking asshole!"
I laughed and she kicked me in the shin. I bent down and grabbed her hand, pulling her back up to her feet "You're the one who fell. I didn't push you."
"But you shoved me into a closet for no-"
I cupped her face and pulled her closer to me, slowly kissing her lips. Tingles ran all through my head and down my body, shocking me in every way possible.
I pulled away and looked into her eyes, a smirk on my face. "I did have a reason."
"Well, it was a very dumb reason." She tried to hide her smiled as I kissed her cheek and down to her jaw.
"Really?" I nipped at her skin, her head moving to the side to give me room. My hands found her hips and pulled her chest against mine.
She nodded, her hands gripping my robe. "Seems like you're enjoying it..." I dragged my tongue across her collarbone and then stopped. "But if you think it's a dumb reason, then we might as well get to class."
I smirked and pulled away watching her start to pout. "You're so rude." She huffed.
The bell then ringed. "Look at that." I smirked, opening the door behind me "Time to get to class."
She rolled her eyes and pushed past me, walking away and into the classroom. But right before she entered, she glanced at me with the slightest smile on her face.
I smiled to myself, knowing that she wasn't mad and knowing that I had her.
McGonagall stepped out of her class and looked at me "Your fathers here." She said, "He would like to see you in Dumbledores office."
I took in a deep breath and nodded as she sent me a smile and knowing nod, turning and shutting the door.
This wasn't good. But it was never good when it came to my father. His random visits at the school were usual, nothing new. There was no reading to them either.
I walked down the corridors as slow as I could, hoping to avoid this interaction at all costs but either way, he'd write me snd we would have to meet.
***
Finally arriving at Dumbledore's office, I stood and caught my breath, knocking on the door and watching it slowly open.
My father leaned against the wall, looking out a window. Dumbledore sat at his desk.
"Theo, thank you for coming." He smiled warmly. My father then turned to Dumbledore, giving him a slight glare. "Right then. I'll give you two some time." He stood and walked out.
"Father."
"Theodore."
His voice was deep and booming through the room like it was a threat. He never spoke to me as a loving father should, but like he had hate towards me. That started when my mother died.
"You're not going to classes and you're almost failing all-"
"Why does that matter? I already have a job at the Ministry when I get out of here, don't I?" I cut him off, my hands digging deep into my pockets.
His hand came up and I flinched, turning my head and waiting for the hit.
"The Ministry informed me that you do indeed need to pass your classes. If not then that spot of yours goes to someone else." He gritted his teeth, lowering his hand.
I looked at him again, anger filling my eyes, "You act like I even want the job. Why can't I try and do something that I want to do? You're always giving things to me and I hate it!"
His hand came up again and this time made contact with my skin.
My head stayed turned, eyes closed as I tried to steady my breathing.
Nothing new. I told myself. Just stop interrupting and back talking and he won't do it again.
"You know better than to irritate me, Theodore." He huffed, rubbing his hand. "Listen, it's the best job that you'll ever get. Now get back to class and pass it."
I turned, not looking back at him as I walked out the door and passed Dumbledore, a frown on my face as I made my way back to my dorm.
Fuck classes.
Fuck passing.
Fuck my father.
I never understood what I did for him to hurt me. I never understood what I did to not be enough for him. Maybe it was because I looked like my mother more. Or maybe it was because I acted more like her. I'd never known and I don't want to.
I threw open my door and walked into my bathroom, looking in the mirror. I brought my hand up to my cheek and lightly traced my fingers over the forming bruise.
I leaned my hands on the counter and looked down. I shook my head and closed my eyes, the vision of my father's face filing in the blackness behind my eyelids.
I hated it; hated him.
He never looked at me like I was his son anymore, but as a disgrace to the Nott family.
Anger flooded me and I didn't even realize what I was doing before I brought my hand up and punched the mirror, breaking it into little tiny pieces and cutting the skin on my knuckles.
I shook my hand as I backed away and into my room, sitting on my bed and looking around.
I wished that I could go back in time and change everything. I could go and tell my mother to see a doctor sooner. I could help her fight and not have her leave me.
I just wanted her here because as soon as she left; as soon as she passed, my father changed and was never the same. He left me too.
I stood, walking over to the shelf above my dresser. I pulled down the little box and pulled out a moving picture. I looked at it and smiled.
We were on vacation in New York. My mother and I sat at the edge of a fountain, me on her lap as she smiled and I did the same. Then, she started to tickle me and I laughed.
It was one of the last family trips we ever went on.
My door creaked and I didn't bother to look, thinking that it was either Draco or Blaise.
"Mate..." I sighed. "Can you leave? I'm not in the mood."
"Oh. I- Uh. Okay." Sadie said and I heard her footsteps retreating.
I looked up, watching her open the door again "I thought you were one of the guys. You can stay."
She turned and looked at me, smiling, and then, as she examined my face, it dropped and she rushed over to me.
"What the bloody hell happened?" she asked, her hand brushing across my cheek lightly. She then saw the blood on my knuckles. "Theo-"
"It's fine. I'm fine." I cut her off, pulling my hand away and turning back to the box.
"What that?" She asked, looking over my shoulder.
"Nothing." I lied, shoving the photo back into the box, along with the other things I pulled out.
She sighed "Okay. Just let me clean you up." She started walking to the bathroom, "Who'd you get in a fight-"
I looked away, putting the box back on the shelf. I knew she saw the broken mirror and that she was standing in the middle of the doorway, waiting for me to say something.
But I didn't. I couldn't.
"Theo, what happened?"
"It's none of your business, okay!" I yelled looking at her "You ask all of these fucking questions when it's none of your god damn business!"
"I ask you these questions so that we can open up to each other!" She yelled back "I ask you these questions so that I can know you deeper than just the sex!"
Sadie stood there, her hands clenching into fists at her sides "I ask you these questions because I want to know you. And you're acting like you don't ask me questions either." She started to walk to the door, her hand gripping the doorknob. "Don't come crying to me when you want a quick fuck."
I stood up straight, my mind and heart begging, telling me to ask her to stay... but my mouth didn't open and the door did.
She didn't look back at me. "See you, Nott."
My hands went to my hair and I pulled at it as the door slammed shut.
I just fucked up.