"Am I still dead?" I felt alive. I had a beating heart and a warm body.
Luis scooted forward and carefully put a hand on my knee. When I didn't push it away, he said, "No. When we were dying, the same thing that happened in the dungeon happened that day. Roots shot out and anchored my soul into my body then you took a sliver of my soul from me.
The rest of the roots shot into the ground, and every tree around us died. They buried us under the gold and brown leaves that fell from their branches. I woke up alone but you'd left a piece of your soul within me in exchange for mine. When I tried to find you, spells blocked me from doing so."
I'd left a piece of my soul with him and I had a piece of his in me. The idea boggled. I knew why he couldn't find me in the forest, no one should have been able. "Mother's protections. I hope they didn't hurt you."
"The spell dumped me into San Francisco. Because I was still a child, I didn't have the abilities I have now. I had to stay there, and once I was there, I'd lost my memory. Fortunately, there were a few Phoukas in the area that took care of me."
"I'm sorry. Mother must have done all that to you when she came for me."
He shrugged in response. "She could have killed me for what I did. I got off easy."
I touched his chest over his heart. Was my soul piece lodged there? "Why couldn't you tell me all this from the moment you met me, Luis? Why did you wait until now?"
He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. Then he leaned against a wall. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd make the face you're making now."
I stood up and touched his arm, "What face is that?"
"Like I'm a monster."
I stifled a laugh. "Luis, I can pull souls from people like I'm a succubus, and I can talk to ghosts and do...uh... other things..." I winced and realized that I was outing all my undead skills. "How would I think you were a monster when I am an even worse monster? If you had told me about it, maybe we could have worked it out together."
"Or... you might have told me never to see you again. It's much better when my prey stays still," Luis said with a crooked smile.
That could have been the case. Ultimately, I might have rejected him even though I wanted to pretend I was beyond that kind of judgy attitude. I'd only been fourteen, and I had been traumatized. "Tell me one thing, Luis."
"What is it?"
"Were you involved with the men that chased my mother and me into that alley?"
"No, I sensed you once you were in my territory. I assume your mother chose that alley because she knew I'd find you. My memories returned once I saw you huddled behind the trash bins."
I swallowed as I looked over at him. The fae couldn't lie, so I was relieved.
Luis's involvement in the plot to kill me shocked me. While my mind recognized that he had been a victim as much as I was, my heart was still breaking. It was breaking further that for four years, he knew everything, and I knew nothing.
"I'm angry that you knew all this and didn't tell me. This is a lot, Luis." I scrubbed at my eyes when they threatened to tear up. "The only reason I'm going to let it go, for now, is because you're my best friend."
He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around me. My eyes widened as I put my hands on his shoulders. Relief like warm bath water and a cotton candy feeling of affection floated between us.
"You're more than a friend to me," he said, and a now-familiar feeling of a silk tie tugged possessively as longing evaporated the affection and relief. That drew another spike of surprise from me.
"It didn't happen exactly like that with me," Adrian interjected, allowing me to pull up my defenses.
I pulled away from Luis and his provocative statement. As I did, I could feel a blush creeping up my face. What did I just feel? Was Luis truly desiring me?
"What happened?" I asked Adrian as I tried to compose myself.
"The roots and everything came out, but you didn't kill any plants or anyone else. You made Joseph wither - he barely escaped with his life. He looked like a papery husk. But, the soul exchange thing... yeah... that was the same. You did that after. "
I mentally patted myself on the back before realizing how horrifying my satisfaction was. I'd said I didn't try to murder Joseph, but that was a lie. "I must have frightened you, Adrian. I'm sorry that I'm such a dangerous freak."
His expression darkened. "He deserved it. I wasn't frightened at all, Matt." He smirked, and his mood brightened, "I like freaks, I guess."
My brow lifted as I threw a kernel of corn that had escaped a bag at him. That sounded like flirting. That wasn't flirting, was it? He caught the grain of corn. Impressed, I asked, "Why were you waiting for me by Franco's, anyway? I thought you were there to beat me up."
"I wanted to see you again. All that attitude was a smokescreen. The guys I brought with me assumed you were going to be part of the band we were forming."
"Band?" I raised my brows
Then he pulled out a printed sheet from his jeans pocket. It was an offer by a Korean entertainment firm that had searched for foreign musicians to add some flavor to a new idol group.
"What's this?" I asked, then I laughed so hard my body went weak, and I seriously believed I would pee my pants. "Oh, God! Oh no!" I laughed some more as I held my sides. "I assumed you guys were a gang! I thought you were going to beat me up! You wanted me to-to-to join a boy band?!"
Adrian's cocoa-colored skin turned darker as he blushed. "Shut up. When I found out where you were, I realized you probably were still hurting for money, and it seemed like a good idea. I wanted you to owe me, okay!"
"Oh my god, Adrian, thank you!" I was wiping my eyes. "I needed that. I'm glad you didn't want to beat me up. But why did you want me to owe you?"
Adrian looked at the ground. "I missed you. Yes, I've been doing okay. I have a great foster mom, but I always wondered about you. I wasn't close to Luis, but you were -- well, something else. I thought I was mad at you, but that van went after you, I couldn't have you disappearing on me again."
I punched his arm. "What you did was stupid! My god, Adrian, I thought you died when you hit that pavement!"
"Ow!" Adrian said as he grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me into a hug. "Something strange happened in the dungeon though, Matt. It felt like you took your piece of soul back, but you kept mine."
I pondered over that puzzle, "Huh. Same with you, Luis?"
He nodded while glaring at Adrian who still had his arms around me.
I glared back at Luis when Adrian released me. Before I could chide him though, Dominic had pulled me back onto his lap. His protective aura wrapped around me, and I felt my tension ease.
"I don't want to get married, Ace." Adrian grimaced as he called me by the old nickname he gave me. "I mean, I'm only sixteen."
"I don't want to get married either; I hope we find a solution."
"How about we figure all this out after the trials," Dominic said as he kissed the back of my head.
"Yeah... It's only been a day, but we need to make a game plan." Adrian said, oblivious to both Luis and Dominic's expressions as he plopped next to me and tucked his arm around mine. It felt nice to be closer, and I supposed everyone must be feeling the same. Even Erick, the bane of my existence, had found a new seat on the floor next to Adrian. His shoulder was touching Adrian's knee. Luke sat on a bucket on Dom's other side, and even Luis, eventually, sat down at my feet.
I noticed Elsie and Jeanne huddling in a corner and I felt guilty. They'd thought that being my banmuinen and becoming broodmares was a step up. If I won the trials, I would do my best to change things so that they wouldn't have to endure conditions like this just because they were poor.
"I don't want the ladies to... uh... help me repopulate the royal nursery. All these crazy customs have got to change."
"You're seeing this as an outsider, My Lady," Elsie admonished as she stepped away from the corner. "The Oak Mother gave us these traditions. We follow our blessed Goddess for our glory, and it honors us to be named the Elect's banmuinen."
When Jeanne nodded in agreement, I realized it would be harder to fix things than I thought. The beliefs were so ingrained.
"Well, I'm not into traditions. I'm not like you guys, and you're worth more than just being substitutes."
I wanted to leave, but I was penned in on all sides. "This is a little weird. Why are we so huddled together?"
I glanced at Erick; he'd been watching everything silently, but once he met my gaze, regret poured from him, and it felt steel wool against my mind. He gave me his theory about why we were smooshed together like a flock of sparrows in winter. "I think the roots make us feel more at peace the closer we are." He glanced at Luke who was glaring at him, then added, "My Lady."
I thought about this then asked the rest of them, "Is that what the rest of you think?"
Luis shrug-nodded and I heard some other grunts of agreement. The idea that I would find peace within my betrayer's presence didn't make me too happy, but the comfort of their closeness did mute my resentment.
I broke eye contact with Erick by turning to poke Luke in the arm. "Make sure I'm not surprised by freaking news like this again. Do you want me to make the right moves and play this game to win? Level with me on everything."
"I was hoping to break this all to you gently. We all believed you might have tried to run." His eyes narrowed.
"You're just fortunate that I love my friends." I punched the spot where I poked him.
He rubbed the spot where I punched him, then straightened his sleeves. "It's lunchtime. Would you please come to the dining room? Your aunt and your cousin are waiting for you."
I knew I was going to regret this, but I said, "Let Beth and Erick eat with us. I don't think I can get rid of her as my banmuinen right now, and Erick is now my, err, betrothed..." A lift of my lip showed my disgust at that thought.
"Very well. Please continue to the dining table, and I will bring Beth to you shortly."
I escaped the friend cage I was in and headed out the door.
Two days ago, I was living in a treehouse and eating convenience store hotdogs. I just had Luis, pretty much. Dominic was a friend, but I didn't see him except for work and an occasional lunch or play date. Adrian had been a blip in time. I was more involved with learning how to live on my own while also trying to remember that I had to pee standing up.
It had been a nice and simple life, even if it was a strange one. When we arrived at the dining room, and I sat down, I mulled over this. Was it a good thing that I'd been so isolated?
Yes, It made sense to keep my friend list short. After all, I was a magical being, and I had been due to change genders on my birthday. If I'd let too many people close to me, they would have found out. Plus, I was dangerous.
"What's on your mind?" Dominic asked as he sat down next to me. Then he handed me a platter of meat.
"Nothing just got a headache." I took the platter and smiled, wishing I could share my thoughts with him, but I didn't want to burden him. He was already going through so much.
"You're hiding something, but that's okay. He smiled and put some meat on my plate.
"I can do that Dom." I loaded more meat on my plate. Let it be said that dire circumstances, heart-wrenching reveals, or ridiculous choices couldn't quell my appetite.
I passed the platter of meat to Luis, who'd sat down on my right. Then I nodded to my aunt and cousin, who were already at the table. Regina nodded at me in greeting as she primly cut her steak. Her mother smiled at us politely.
Guards led Beth into the dining room and sat her down in front of me. Beth looked bedraggled. Her bun was loosened and messy. She had a smear of dungeon grime on her left cheek (yuck), and someone had slapped the other cheek. I didn't feel sorry about that. She hadn't held the knife that had killed my mother - none of her clan had, but they were responsible—all of them. Erick wiped the grime from Beth's cheek, and my attention centered on him. Then he met my eyes.
I remembered how he'd been with me on the airplane. He'd bedecked me with a jeweled comb and had me cradled on his lap. That he was being so gentle to someone that caused the loss of my mother curdled my blood. I could hurt her by telling her all about how flirtatious he'd been on the plane with me. I could scour the idea that he professed to love me into her skin. She deserved it.
But Mother had always told me that ugliness stems from the heart. I had always been disappointing to her - the pinecone birthed from an orchid, so I could at least try to uphold her memory by not being ugly. I could try.
"I've decided that I won't execute you, Beth." I put down my fork and sat back.
Luis pounded his knife against the table, and I put my hand over his hand in a warning. Hatred spooled from him through our link, and I pulled my hand away. I didn't want it to color me. Beth was grimacing at me as though I pronounced her doom.
"You probably want to know what I am going to do with you. I haven't thought it all through yet. For now, you'll both continue in my court for appearance's sake. I agree with Luke on that." I nodded to Luke as he sat down at the table. With a grim look, he gave me a slight bow.
"As for later? Banishment maybe? I don't know. That seems like a great idea. I got along fine without seeing either of you for four years."
I felt a twinging in the link as the peace I felt became unbalanced. The imbalance felt like the worst sort of vertigo, and my knife clattered onto my plate. Next, I saw that the branch that tied me to Erick grew spikier as though thorns were sprouting from it. I frowned at it and wondered what it meant.
Dom put his arm around me and whispered, "Are you okay? Something feels wrong..."
Just as I was going to tell him I was fine, Erick rose from his spot next to Beth. "No."
I widened my eyes with surprise. "No?"