EMMA
Maggie sits in my lap, her plump legs brushing back and forth over my silk robe. Nadine tugs at my hair, deft fingers curling it into perfect waves down my back, as Gemma rummages through makeup on the counter in front of us.
Beside me, Val is adding another layer of hairspray to her curls, which are already beginning to fray. She grumbles to herself about the humidity but I think she looks great anyways.
She'd look great in a paper bag. I'm just glad she's here.
Kim, temporarily at home in our second guest room, is applying final touches to her makeup, soft brown liner and shimmery highlight over her cheekbones. Swiping a thick brush into a pan, she glances over to pull a silly face at Maggie.
"Here it is." Gemma mutters, holding a mascara wand dangerously close to my eyeball. "Blink." She instructs and I do as I'm told, feeling the thickening effect of each coat that she applies.
I wonder if she'll ever be content with the lashes, each blink growing heavier and heavier as the seconds go by.
"Eyes are done, want to look?" She asks finally, smirking at her work, a hand mirror dangling from her fingers.
"I'm not worried." I tell her truthfully, opening my mouth wide as Mags stares at me, eyes round and intent on my face. "Hi baby, it's almost your turn, hm?"
"Ugh." Gemma pouts. "I can't wait till she can wear make-up. Auntie Gem-Gem is going to crush it in that department, huh, Maggie?" She squeezes Maggie's chubby arm and gets a delighted squeal in return. Gem raises her brow at me proudly. "See?"
She grabs a glass bottle of foundation and a dense cosmetic brush, ready to blend the color on the back of her hand when I stop her.
"Nothing on my skin. Please and thanks." I feel myself blush. "Freckles out, today."
Nadine makes an appreciative sound as she runs her hand through my curls, the sensation so calming it almost makes me sleepy.
"Freckles out." Gemma agrees, making eye contact with Nadine when she thinks I'm not looking. Putting the foundation away, she grabs some gloss instead and tilts my head back.
While Nadine clips and pins every strand of my hair in every which way, I let my eyes close, Maggie's cheek warm against my chest.
They flutter open only when Kim passes me a tall champagne flute, the liquid crisp and refreshing down my throat.
I remind myself to brush my teeth before I get into my dress.
I'm trying hard to be positive today. Well, not that it's difficult - I am so incredibly happy.
It's like all the hard times Beau and I have gone through are coming to a close, a marked point of our lives when things will only get better from here.
Not only am I happy, I'm proud. We did this, Beau and me. Everything that was thrown our way, we got through it. We're making a great life for our daughter.
If you'd told me I'd be getting married to Beau Lewis the day we signed those contracts in the tiny kitchen of my first apartment, I'd have laughed myself to death. And yet... now I never want to know a life without him.
So yes, there are butterflies in my stomach and my heart is beating a little too fast. I had to skip breakfast and any time I think about my husband-to-be, I blush like a little girl with her first crush.
But there's still something missing. No matter how many hours I spent nailing down the seating arrangements, or perfecting our playlist, or pulling together a registry, I still don't have my parents here.
Just like when I graduated from high school, from college. While every one of those days was a celebration, they were also kind of sad, too.
Taking a deep breath, like I have every time my mind has wandered down this road over the past couple of days, I squeeze Maggie tightly and think of the dark, disheveled bedhead waiting for me just down the hall.
It's not a half hour later that I'm holding back tears again. This time, because Maggie just looks so damn cute in her flower girl dress that it's making me crazy.
Like a little, sparkling, white cupcake, she props herself up, her little fingers grabbing the chair, watching as all four friends help me step into my gown.
Despite the simple backyard venue, none of my friends allowed me to go casual with the dress.
A silk, trumpet gown with thin, off the shoulder straps and a plunging cut in the back that reveals the majority of my spine, it's elegant and classic, even if a bit over the top for a lakeside, backyard wedding. As I twist in the mirror, the chapel length train gets caught around my calves and my veil sticks over my shoulders.
I stumble and Maggie claps her hands, a giggle bursting through the air.
"Yeah Mags?" I grunt, thanking Val and Gemma as they get my gown straight again. "You're supposed to be on my side."
"Oh, she is." Nadine coos, scooping Maggie into her arms and nestling her against her chest. "She's going to toss those petals like it's nobody's business out there. Aren't you?"
Maggie's hand is pale against Nadine's cheek and I wipe away another tear, returning my gaze to the mirror.
"Okay." I inhale a shaky breath, taking my bouquet from Kim's hands. White roses. The whitest I've ever seen, as absurd as it sounds. Leave it to Gemma. I exhale, holding the bouquet in front of me. "Let's do this."
My heart is hammering in my chest. The white curtains in front of me blow in the breeze, the smell off the lake comforting to my haywire nerves.
I wish I could've been on the other end to watch Maggie toss rose petals, to watch Jack carry the rings. To see my best friends in their bridesmaids gowns.
To see Beau when he first appeared. He must look so damn good in his suit. I'd kept my promise and didn't steal a sneak-peek before the big day. But it nearly killed me to not see what he'd picked out for himself.
Oh, to have seen him walk towards the altar. I nearly swoon at the mere thought.
No one ever tells you that the bride misses some of the best parts.
Shifting foot to foot, blisters already forming just beneath my pinky toes in the ridiculous heels G insisted on, I try to take a deep breath.
But I can't. My emotions are running wild, my hands shake with the intensity of my feelings. Rose petals practically vibrate in my fingers.
My cue is coming up. I squint, concentrating on the music. I've always loved Canon in D, but hearing it played for me... well that's just otherworldly.
"Ready, Emma?" Parker's voice makes me jump, my pinky toes flaring in protest.
"Christ." I gasp, my heart beating impossibly faster. I grip my bouquet tighter, my palms sweaty. "What took you so long?"
What I meant to say was... Thanks for doing this. Thanks for being here.
He looks great. His hair is still messy, but pushed off his face. A bow tie rests neatly at the base of his throat.
So Beau chose bow ties?
Parker's brows furrow as he sticks his elbow out to me, taking his place by my side. "Jeez. You got cold feet or something? Looking for a getaway car?"
"Of course not." I tilt my head to him, pinching a long German-Shepherd fur from his shoulder and tossing it to the ground.
"I know, Em." Parker chuckles, shaking his head. I put my hand through his arm and he covers it with his other hand. "Relax. Today is a good day."
"I know." I say, exhaling deeply, eyes fluttering closed.
I hear the note I'm supposed to walk on and my eyes flash open. We step forward through the silk, the breeze sending a light ripple through my gown, down its train.
"You look gorgeous, by the way." Parker murmurs as we take our first step.
At the same time, I look ahead and meet Beau's eyes some yards away.
All the air rushes from my lungs.
God, I love him. So damn much.
And I was right - he looks so good in his tux. An uncharacteristically classic and sleek black and white number.
The pressure lifts from my chest and my face splits into a smile, blissful tears clouding my eyes. But I don't blink. I don't want to miss him, not even a second, for anything.
It seems like an eternity before I reach him, before Parker places my hand in his and I step before him, my whole body flushed with excitement, anticipation... love.
I've been told that I won't remember much of my wedding once it's over. Maybe that's true: I didn't catch the looks on our guests faces as I walked down the aisle, I don't glance at the state-officiated woman at the altar, and I can't tear my eyes from Beau to look at my friends.
Well, just one peek, to see Maggie clapping her pudgy hands in Nadine's lap, grinning at Beau and me hugely.
My stomach does flip flops, my mind reeling.
I'm so lucky that this is my life.
Maybe I won't remember everything. But I'll never forget what Beau looks like right now. Dark, disheveled hair pushed from his forehead haphazardly, revealing the deep, green eyes I first fell in love with. They get glassy with emotion but he only stares at me, smile wide over his face as his thumbs run circles over my hands.
I'll never forget the way I can feel his love for me in that look. My love for him, filling my heart so full I'm sure it will burst at any second.
And I'll never, ever forget the officiant asking us to recite the vows we wrote for each other.
Beau gnaws his bottom lip, smirking when I'm asked to go first. Squeezing his hand tightly, I take a breath to make sure my voice is steady.
"Beau." My voice cracks already. Dang. I meet his gaze and try again. "Beau, when I met you, I was so sure I knew everything I needed to know about you. I knew you were a crazy guitarist who liked to party. I knew you had a bad attitude and probably didn't own a hairbrush." Laughter. Beau grins. "I knew you only cared about yourself." His brows furrow. "But what I didn't know... Was that even then, I was falling for you."
"I thought I knew what I wanted and what I didn't. But then you showed me that I really knew nothing at all." I press a thumb to my lash line, emotion bubbling out of me. "You showed me that you're kind, and thoughtful. Protective and funny. You showed me that I was wrong."
"I knew I loved you... When out of everywhere we could've gone in LA, you brought me to that amazing bookstore. When you made me that first pizza picnic in our hotel room. When you let me visit your mom. When you didn't roll your eyes even though Nana told you she hated your tattoos." I laugh, giving up trying to stop the tears. "I knew you loved me when I got your letter after we broke up. The first time." Beau rolls his eyes, expression intensely concentrated on containing his emotions. "And when I heard Emma on the radio. And when I see you holding our daughter."
I take a final, steadying inhale. "Beau, you're the greatest dad I've ever seen. I'm so proud of you and I'm so proud to be your wife. So, now that I'm older and wiser, and know so much more than I did back then, I pinky promise to spend the rest of my life being yours."
"Wow." Beau smirks down at me, so handsome and wicked at the same time, and I know he remembers. "Well, you know I'm not so good with saying how I feel. That's why I'm that crazy guitarist you mentioned." He chuckles, biting his lower lip and pausing for a minute. "The best way for me to describe it, is this: you're my favorite song, Em. The one I'd been trying so hard to write my entire life. The one I can play again and again and never, ever get sick of. The one that hits me in the gut every time. You're the only song I want to play forever." His eyes are intense on mine and my heart swells. "You make me want to be better. You make me better. And I promise to make you happy everyday, Em."
His smile turns devious as his voice drops lower.
"Because, from this point on, it's you and me, and Maggie," Beau winks, waving our entwined fingers at our daughter, "And fuck everyone else."
I might be crying - don't ask!! hahaha
guysssss what do we think!
chapters 49, 50 and an epilogue left!
❤️❤️