Content Warning: R-18
"Dala ka condom, ah." Para akong hihimatayin sa sinabi ni Annica sa akin. Agad naman siyang binatukan ni Arya dahil sa kawalang-hiyaan na sinabi.
"Alam mo ung condom ipapasok ko diyan sa punyeta mong bibig." Saad ni Arya at hinablot ang bag ko mula kay Annica na ngayon ay tawang-tawa naman.
"Ito! Joke lang kasi! Pero syempre, incase of imergency! Tsaka antagal na ni Monique at Rahim na nagsasama! Wala ba silang intimate moments! Dapat laging handa! Sige ibibigay ko sayo ung tatlong pakete kong reserba, tutal wala 'rin naman akong dilig!" Pakiramdam ko ay matutunaw ako sa mga pinagsasabi ni Annica sa harapan ko at mas lalo pang pumula ang mukha ko ng ilabas niya ang tatlong pakete ng condom mula sa wallet niya at inilagay iyon sa kasuloksulukan ng bag ko. Kapag iyon nakita ni Rahim, aawayin ko talaga siya!
"Ayos na ung swim suit mo, Monique." Saad ni Arya bago humilata sa kama. I look at my friends na nandito ngayon sa kwarto ko dahil ayaw nila akong tantanan. First time ko nga naman kasing mag-o-out of the country ay iyon pang kasama ko ang boyfriend ko. Hindi tuloy sila mapirmi.
Arya settles herself in my bed. Dahil nakasando siya ay kitang-kita ang tan niyang balat mula noong nag-Romblon kami. I remember Annica pushing Arya to try dating pero mukhang desidido na itong kumuha ng master's study niya sa susunod na school year. Alam ko 'rin ay natanggap siya sa isang perfumery corporation. Her long wavy hair is much longer now compare to her normal length. I still wonder kung dahil ba ito sa huling break-up niya. Ni hindi ko na ulit siya nakitang masaya, hindi katulad noong andito si Ven ay halos araw-araw siyang nag-go-glow. Iyon ba ang sinasabi ni Annica na bagong dilig? Nakaka-glow ba talaga iyon? Dios mio! Ano ba itong iniisip ko?!
Annica on the other hand ay busy na ngayon sa pag tutok sa laptop ko. She was invited to work in the government in US. Siguro dahil na-i-recommend siya ng mga proctors at pannels noong huling thesis defense namin. Balita ko kasi ay balak iyong i-present sa US this month, and namumutawi na agad ang offers para sa kanya. Annica is still on her bossy attitude always, masyado pa rin siyang mahalay pero after the incident kay Captain, hindi ko na siya ulit nakitaan ng kalandian. I even saw na wala ng dating apps sa cellphone niya after. At kahit pa maraming sumusubok sa kanya, ay mukhang hindi naman din siya interesado.
I wonder if it's the heartbreak or we were just growing that finding love were one of their least priorities lalo pa't nag-sta-start na sila sa mga work nila. Ako naman ay papasok na bilang first year med student student, dahil maswerte ako at nakapasa ako para sa med school. Hindi ko rin alam kung saan ako pupulutin kapag nagkataon na hindi ako pumasa.
If in any case, siguro nga we were just growing that our priorities changes. Maybe their pain is a factor pero mas naniniwala akong mas mahalaga ang mga bagay na pinagkakaabalahan nila ngayon kesa ang pagproblema sa heart-breaks nila. I'm happy for them because they were so strong. Yayain lang kaming uminom ni Annica ng Red Horse and then their problem would instantly swift away.
"Annica, kapag ba natanggap ka ng tuluyan sa US, you will stay there for good?" Tanong ko sa kanya matapos i-zip ang huling pouch na may laman ng toiletries ko.
"Ang condition ko lang naman ay uuwi ako rito every after 6 months or a year depende sa bigat ng work load ko. Miss mo na agad ako hindi pa nga ako naalis." Lintaya niya kaya naman napa-irap ako.
"Hahanap ka lang ng sugar daddy sa US, eh." balik na sita sa kanya ni Arya, agad naman niya iyong binato ng throw pillow mula sa maliit kong couch na tinawanan lang ni Arya at naka-tanggap naman siya ng middle finger mula kay Annica.
I silently smile to myself while looking at the two of them pester each other. I'll miss this. Siguro nga parte ng buhay ang pag-hihiwalay. Like the last stage of cell division, telophase; it is the stage in which the chromatids are now full condense, finally ready for division. I can see that this is the phase in which we are now, we were already done with college and it is now the time to face our own challenges individually in our adult life.
Ganoon rin kay Rahim, kaya nga sinusulit ko ang bawat oras na kasama ko siya dahil sa pagpasok ng school year, for sure ay mababawasan ang oras namin sa isa't isa. He will be in his fourth year in law school, ang pinakamabigat na year para sa career niya. After that, he will start to review for his bar exams habang ako ay nasa first and second year ng med school na kung saan crucial din for adjustment period.
Iniisip ko pa lamang na baka may mga araw na hindi kami magkikita o makakapag-usap man lang ng maayos ay parang lumulubog na ang puso ko.
"Siguraduhin mo lang, Monique na hindi ka sasaktan ni Rahim. Ako mismo sisipa sa pinaka-maselan niyang parte kapag nagkataon! Masaktan na si Aryanna, huwag lang ikaw!" Agad naman siyang binato ni Arya ng unan pabalik dahil sa sinabi niya. I look at the both of them and felt a warm in my chest.
For the past four years ever since that incident, ako ang pinaka-prinoprotektahan ng dalawang ito sa aming tatlo. Maybe because I'm the most fragile one between us but deep inside I'm very thankful that I'm being babied by the both of them. I remember seeing them cry while I was laying in my hospital bed, almost dying. I couldn't bring myself to be like that again in front of the both of them. I know they deserve the world because of how precious they are to me. Dapat lang na ibinibigay din sa kanila lahat. They deserve to be happy.
"Ipagdadasal ko na sana magka-jowa na kayo ulit." I said and laugh a loud, agad naman umangal si Arya at tumawa si Annica dahil sa sinabi ko.
In one life time, it is hard to find people that will stay true to you amidst all the bad situation that you've been with. I'm so grateful that I have friends like them.
"Rahim, mag-iingat kayo roon ah." Paalala ni mama kay Rahim. Gusto ko mang mag-face palm dahil mas nauna niya pang daluhan si Rahim ng makita itong nasa sala at inaantay ako. Today is the day that we are going to Bali!
"Opo tita. I'll take care of Monique." Saad ni Rahim sa aking gilid matapos mailagay sa back seat ang bag na dala ko.
"Papa, Mama. We'll be going!" I said at lumapit na sa mga magulang para makapag-paalam.
"Ma, si Rahim talaga ang anak mo sa aming dalawa, e." bulong ko sa ina ng yakapin ko ito. Agad naman niya akong hinampas ng bahagya dahil sa sinabi ko.
"Selosa ka talagang bata ka! Siya mag-paalam ka na sa papa mo at baka mahuli pa kayong dalawa sa flight niyo."
I look at my father at nakita ang malambot niyang ekspresyon sa akin. I know deep inside this is hard for my father to entrust me to someone again after everything. Nakikita ko rin noon na hirap siyang tanggapin si Rahim, but I guess when they finally talked it out, he finally figured out that Rahim is a good man. Totoo naman iyon, hindi ko iyon maipagkakaila.
"Thank you so much, papa." I whisper to him when I hug him. Ang init at higpit ng yakap niya ang kompirmasyon ng mga iniisip ko. My parents are so dear to me, I couldn't afford to lose them in this lifetime.
"Bye! Mag-iingat kayo! Enjoy!!!" Mom said as I enter the passenger seat of Rahim's car. Bago umikot si Rahim papunta sa driver's seat ay nakita ko ang marahang pagtango ni papa sa kanya na mas lalong nagpalagay sa akin. He is really permitting me to go.
Nang makapasok na si Rahim sa kotse ay marahan ko siyang tinignan. He looks closely at me bago inabot ang kamay ko.
"You ready?" he asks at ipinatong ang kamay ko sa kanyang hita, he likes it that way whenever he drives. Marahan naman akong tumango at ngumiti sa kanya. A small smile slips across his lips before starting his car and drive to the airport.
The whole. ride was blissful, ni hindi ko nga namalayan na nasa tapat na kami ng airport. Ngayon para akong tanga na nae-excite dahil sa outing na ito with Rahim just by seeing the airport outside. Nang tuluyan ng makapag-park si Rahim ay natanaw ko sa harap namin si Ace. Iyong kaibigan niyang laging naka man bun dahil sa mahaba niyang buhok. Agad iyong umayos ng tayo ng makita na palabas na si Rahim ng sasakyan.
"Yow! Hi there, Monique!" He said and wave a little at me. Naka black polo lang ito na mas lalong nagpatingkad ng kulay niya. Nang bumaling ako kay Rahim ay nakita kong inabot niya ang kotse niya
"Huwag mong ibabangga ang kotse ko." He said at agad naman siyang pabirong sinapak ni Ace. Doon ko lang napansin na Rahim is a total opposite of Ace in terms of physiques. Rahim skin-kissed skin makes him more manlier, idagdag mo pa ang mas malaki niyang built dahil sa pagwo-work out. Those muscles are shaping all through out his white v-neck shirt.
"Enjoy kayo! Rahim, please send me those digest!" Huling saad ni Ace.
"That's not part of the fucking deal." Agad naman akong napangiti dahil sa pagbusangot ni Rahim, Ace on the other hand bursted his laughters habang papasok sa loob ng kotse ni Rahim.
"Let's go." Nilingon ko naman siya at nakitang nakatingin sa akin. Agad naman akong tumango at humawak sa braso niya habang papasok na kami ng airport.
We waited for almost an hour before our flight starts boarding. The whole time ay hawak-hawak lamang ni Rahim ang kamay ko, minsan ay tinatanong niya ako kung mayroon ba akong gustong puntahan sa Bali pero mas nanatili lamang akong nakatitig sa kanya. Its just that, everyday that I have been with him, I want to cherish him more.
"You can take a nap if you want." He said when we both settle in our seats. Talagang nakipagpalit pa siya sa akin para lamang sa tabi ako ng bintana maupo.
"Ayoko hindi naman din ako inaantok." I answer to him bago hanapin ang kamay niya at pinagsaklop ang mga daliri namin. Marahan kong pinasadahan ng tingin ang magkahawak naming mga kamay and see how small my hands are compare to him.
"Rahim, why did you plan to go on Bali?" I ask out of nowhere while brushing his strong knuckles. Naramdaman ko naman ang paglapit ng mukha niya sa akin kaya naman ay parang uminit ang pisnge ko.
"I first plan to go somewhere in the Philippines but Annica fucked up my plan." Agad akong natawa ng dahil sa sinabi niya. Marahan kong kinurot ang ilong dahil sa sinabi. Inirapan naman niya ako dahil sa ginawa ko. I couldn't help but put a smile on my face dahil sa narinig mula sa kanya.
"We could go somewhere else naman."
"I want to give you the best that I can. Besides I'm not really good at giving gifts, so I taught of this." He said and rested his head on mine. His manly scent escalated through me and instantly calmed down my system.
Sometimes, I think that Rahim is just so far ahead of me. In terms of maturity, sense of priorities and even in our relationship. I want to be better para man lang maging sapat ako para sa kanya. I want to improve faster now, not only for myself but to see fit to him. Masyado siyang perpekto sa paningin ko.
When we reach Ngurah Rai International Airport ay parang nabuhay ang excitement sa amin. This is my first out of the country in my lifetime! Pagkalabas ng eroplano ay para akong bata kung makatingin sa interior ng airport. It's superb! High-rise ceiling, advance technology everywhere and it even promote environmental awareness by having different trees inside. The whole time na palabas kami ng airport ay iyon lamang ang tinitignan ko. I never know Bali is this beautiful!
"Let's go, Monique. Our service is waiting." Masaya akong tumango kay Rahim ng sabihin niya iyon. I immidiately cling in his arms as he lead the way towards our service car.
"Ngayong nandito na tayo, I realized na I didn't really know what to expect. Saan tayo mag-sta-stay?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng pagbuksan niya na ako ng pintuan para makapasok sa kotse. I waited for him to enter the car before facing him and started asking question.
"We're going to stay at the Mulia private villa. It's actually my mom who book it. She said that it's her gift for your graduation." He said and fix my seatbelt. Agad namang nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
"I should thank her! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin! Dapat nakapagpasalamat ako ng mas maaga!" Sita ko sa kanya kaya naman agad niyang ipinatong ang kamay sa ulo ko at marahang ginulo ang buhok ko.
"You got a lot of time to tell that to my mother. Let's enjoy this first. You can decide later what we should do. I didn't really pick a set of itinerary for us so anything will do." Paliwanag niya kaya naman agad kong kinuha ang phone ko at nagsimulang mag search tungkol sa resort na sinabi niya. Rahim on the other hand focus on his phone. Siguro ay kausap niya si Ace dahil alam ko ay may naiwang gawain sa kanila before the end of their semester, tinapos niya na ang kanya but knowing Rahim, hindi iyon mapapakali hanggat hindi tapos ang mga gawain niya.
Nang makita ang website ng resort ay para akong nalula sa nakita. Other than the exquisite reviews about the place, ito rin ang puntahan ng mga sikat na celebrity when they come to Indonesia. Bukod doon napakamahal ng isang gabing sta doon! Para akong aatakihin sa puso! Pwede ko nang ipang-tuition ang buong stay namin dito!!! I should really thank his mother for being this extravagant for a graduation gift! \
We arrived at the resort and the photos and videos online didn't give justice on how elegant and prestige the place is. The whole private villa is so spacious for the both of us. Ang glass wall sa harap ng villa ang dahilan kung bakit kitang-kita ang loob nito. As we enter the main door, ang maaliwalas na living room agad ang bumungad sa amin. A L-shaped sofa, a huge flat screen tv — I think it was about 75 inches in size or larger. The combination of the wood color, white and gold complement the whole room. Isama pa ang glass wall, so the sunlight is lighting the place naturally and exquisitely.
Sa gilid ay nakita ko agad ang isang sliding door and I almost felt awe when I saw an infinity pool on the other side of the door. Ang kitchen ay nasa dulong bahagi at mukhang kompleto ito sa gamit. A white staircase on the far back patungo naman sa second floow kung asan ang isang bedroom.
"Should we rest for a bit? Maaga pa naman." I look at Rahim when he said that. Tumango naman ako sa kanya ng sabihin niya iyon kaya naman nagtungo na kami sa second floor para makapag-ayos ng mga gamit.
The whole second floor is designated for the bedroom. Sa gitna ng kwarto ay isang king size bed. The white sheets and comforter ccentuated the wooden canopy design of the frame. May iilan pang puting tela ang naka-disenyo sa wood frame nito. The wall on the right side of the bed is made of glass with golden curtains on it. At isang balcony naman sa tapat na bahagi ng kama kung saan over-looking ang infinity pool sa baba. A comfort room and a shower room on the left side.
"Rahim! Ang ganda!" I hissed ng buksan ang sliding door na naghahati sa kwarto at ang balcony. The cold breeze reaches my face and instead of being cooled down by it, it sent warmth all over my body. Mas lalong lumawak ang init sa aking dibdib ng maramdaman ko ang mga kamay ni Rahim sa magkabilang gilid ng bewang ko.
"I'm so glad that you liked it." He whispers on my ears bago dampian ng halik ang aking balikat. I feel like I was flying and sweeping in this blissful moment. Marahan akong humarap sa kanya at iniangkla ang magkabilang braso sa kanyang balikat. I can feel him moving me closer to him. His broad chest is now touching my body. Pakiramdam ko ay namula ang mukha ko ng maramdaman kung gaano katigas ang dibdib niya.
"You could look up the things that we could do later after lunch. I don't mind to try anything. Basta iyong gusto mo." he said and planted a kiss on my lips.
"Thank you so much. This is very beautiful, Rahim." marahan kong saad ng iangat niya ang labi mula sa akin. A victorious smirk form on his lips when he heard me. Mabilis niya akong sinandal sa baradilya ng balcony dahilan ng pagkatili ko.
"Rahim!!!" I hysterically said but he just buried his lips on my. His wet lips seeks opening on mine. Trying to explore every bit of me. His teeth slowly tug on my lower lips making me tumble on my own feet and sending shivers all over my vertebral column. My heart feels like collapsing as he hold me closer and tighter towards him. Ang buong katawan niyang sinasakop ang espasyo ko.
"Damn, I would do anything for you." He whisper as he break away from the kiss. Namutawi ang init sa pakiramdam ko amtapos ang halik. We stayed there for another minute, in each other's arm while we both gaze upon the beauty of the view right in front of us.
Later that aftertoon, Rahim did fullfil what he said that he will try whatever I want to try out. Noong bandang hapon ay sinamahan kami ng isang tour guide para maglibot sa Tegenungan Waterfalls. We took a quick dip on the water and explore the place before moving on to our next destination. We visited one temple as it is one of their best tourist spot. We also tried their street food and also took at walk on the street art in Kanggu.
Bali is so alive especially when it beginning to be night time. Mas buhay ang mga tao, mas masaya ang paligid. It is closely similar to some of the beaches in the Philippines but I guess we do get excited by foreign sites before us. It is indeed a great adventure! I woonder kung anong gagawin namin bukas!
When we enter the room, ay marahang inilapag ni Rahim ang mga paper bag na may laman ng iilang mga pinamili ko. He just kept on spoiling me the whole day. Ni hindi ko man lang natanong kung na enjoy niya ba ang ginawa namin because I was too busy admiring the place.
"We should get dinner now, gusto mo bang maligo muna?" He asks while unbottoning his loose white buttons down long sleeves.
"I want to take a dip on the pool! Halika!" Aya ko sa kanya. Marahan niya naman akong hinapit sa kanya kaya naman hindi ko maiwasan ang pamumula ko.
"Okay, I'll just call for dinner then I'll join you. " he weakly whisper in me kaya naman pakiramdam ko ay nanghina ang tuhod ko. Something in his voice is so sensual, my heart would melt just by hearing it. Ang pagod sa boses niya ay hindi nakakasira sa gwapo niyang itsura sa mga mata ko, but it just... makes him more and more God-like every now and then.
While Rahim is busy taking on the phone to order our dinner, ako naman ay dahan-dahan nang hinubad ang crochet top ko at ang beach shorts para makapagbabad na sa swimming pool. The spagetttie strap tube top of the bikini perfectly hug my curves, ang maiksing shorts naman na terno nito ang mas lalong nagpadepina ng bewang ko.
I do not often think about my body that much. Aside from my trauma, I never felt insecure with it anyway. Maybe because my friends never payed attention to our bosies either. Aryanna is slim as her metabolism is fast while Annica on the other hand is vuluptous and very curvy. I'm in between the two of them when in terms of body type. Siguro nga my set of friends is just way too good that this kind of experience is vague for someone like me. My friends never underestimated me nor made fun of me.
"What were you thinking?" Naramdaman ko ang pag alon ng tubig sa aking gilid ng lumangoy si Rahim papunta sa akin. Marahan akong sumandal sa gilid ng pool upang harapin siya. He's hands automatically find my waist and moves him closer to me. Suot lamang niya ang swimming trunks niya. His steel chest is glistening right before my eyes, his haird is damp and covering most of his forehead and the side of his face. May iilang patak ng tubig ang bumaba mula sa kanyang buhok, sinusunod ang kanyang panga.
Why is he so perfect?!
"Iniisip ko lang iyong mga kaibigan ko." I said and place my hand on the back of his neck.
"Why? Do you miss them? Gusto mo ba sa susunod ay isama natin sila?" Agad naman akong natawa sa suhestyon niya kaya naman agad niya akong sinimangutan. Dahan-dahan akong pumihit paharap upang harapin ang makulay na gabi ng Bali. A wide shore before us, a lot of well-lighted tent for those who would like to enjoy eating near the see, ang buong ilaw na galing sa gusali. It's jsut peaceful, beautiful and lively all at the same time.
"I'm thinking that I'm thankful for the both of them. Kahit pa minsan ay ipinahihiya nila ako sayo!"
"Your friends are the opposite pole of each other. Aryanna is still and composed while Annica is wild and carefree. Not two mentioned you are in the middle of the both of them and can handle them very well."
"Of course! Ako ang pinakamatanda sa aming tatlo, e."
"But I do think that they protect you the most. That is why I'm comfortable that you have them by your side."
"Annica was outragous when that happened to me. Aryanna was crying on my side when I opened my eyes" I whisper through the cold wind. Naradaman ko ang braso ni Rahim na niyakap ang bewang ko mula sa likod. Now my small frame is protected by his manly figure. No wonder, girls will go crazy on hims and kiss the path that he walks on. Damang-dama ko ba naman ang abs niya sa likod ko!!!
"You know sometimes I wish I had met you sooner. " Marahan kong nilingon ang mukha niya dahil sa sinabi niya.
"So I could protect you, be with you and kept you safe. So you wouldn't go all the things that you've been through." He whispers to my ears. Dahil sa bawat salitang binitawan niya ay naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng gilid ng mga mata ko. Just the thought of Rahim, asking the Gods to bring back time so he could had met me and save makes my heart aches.
Marahan akong humarap sa kanya upang makita ang kanyang mukha. In this lifetime, I have never met someone more gorgeous than him. His semi-curled hair, parted in the middle, strong jaws, sun-kissed skin and the darkness in his eyes makes him more than attractive for a guy. He's physiques equals to the man that he is. He is will-driven, intelligent and even ruled by his principle. He's close to perfection!
I reach for the corner of his face and felt oblivious by the other things around me at tanging siya lamang ang nakikita ng mata ko.
"We can't go back to those times. I don't want too. Ayokong makita mo ako sa ganung kalagayan." He reach for my palm and slowely caress my scar on my wrist. I knew back then that when I first showed signs of post-traumatic stress disorder, he immediately infer that something like that happened to me. Lalo pa noong mga panahong I was spiraling back to my trauma. He was there, silently watching me, studying me and patiently waiting for me to open things up.
I may be the one who push the luck and get close to him but I knew deep inside that I was never open to him with the real me. He only knew my surface back then but he was never knowledgable to what really happened to me. All this time, I thought Rahim is the stoned-wall between us but it is really me who has built steel wall around me.
"I'm thankful that I have you Rahim. I realized a lot of things because of you." I whisper to him and reach for his shimmering lips. It feels so soft against mine that I never realize this could be like this. I never knew that physically intimacy could be this pleasurable... this good.
Naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya pa sa akin lalo habang patuloy na lumalalim ang pag-halik niya sa akin. I can feel my knees shaking just by the sensation that his sending me through his kisses. His lips are passionately dancing with mine, colliding in every beat. His hands touches me with tender and care, walang halong pagmamadali. I can even feel my heart slowly melting just by noticing how careful he is to handle me like this. He treats me as if I'm the most fragile glass in the world. He might even think that if he threw a breath on me, I might break.
Just the thought of someone like Rahim who is rude and mean would take cautious just to protect how I feel and react makes me want to throw myself to him. I never knew someone is capable of such restrain, especially from a guy like him.
I just want to give in, just this once. For him.
Buong puso kong inangkla ang kamay ko sa batok niya at mas idiniin ang sarili sa katawan niya. I can feel his body twitch just by the touch of my cold skin over him. Ang kamay niya ay mas inilapit ang bewang ko sa kanya. I can almost feel his thing down there over my tummy. Imbis na dapuan ng hiya ay mas lalo yata akong nag-init dahil sa ginawa niya. Jesus! This sensation is too much!
His kisses continues to get deeper as each minute pass. Patuloy na tinatantya kung hanggang saan ang kaya ko, kung hanggang saan ang gusto ko. My body's temperature starts to rise just by kissing him and feeling his skin over mine. I'm afraid that this night, I won't get enough with kisses!
"Baby." He's breathing is unstable as his kisses move to my cheeks down to my neck. Mas lalong humigpit ang kapit ko sa kanya ng maramdaman ang labi sa baba ng leeg. His mouth is exploring it, trying to find my weak spot and when he finally did, I didn't even realize the sound that I'm making and how tight my grip over his back is. This pleasure is clouding my mind, subdoing my nuerons and wants me to forget rational thoughts!
Hindi ko na napansin ng marahan niyang iniangat ang bewang ko at iginaya ang binti ko upang ipulupot sa bewang niya. I was too occupied by his kisses that his other actions are well-accepted by my body and mind. When I open my eyes, I can see that we are moving out of the water now. The cold breeze touches my bare back and rather than to subdue the heat, I think it ignite a greater heat more inside of me. It made me feel wanting for more.
Ilang segundo pa ay naramdaman ko na ang malambot na kama sa aking likod ng dahan-dahan akong ibinababa ni Rahim roon. Now that we are in a well-lighted room, I can see his face clearly. His eyes are filled with so much emotions that I could not name them all. His face is heated as he lower his head and kisses my lips once again. I finally let go of any thoughts in me and let my body follow his subtle lead. One of my legs is arching on his back as the two of my hands is pulling him closer to me.
Hindi nagtagal ay muling bumaba ang halik niya sa akin patungo sa aking leeg. There is this sweet spot that he found in my neck that sends shivers down me and he continue to play along that. Para akong hihimatayin sa bawat pagdampi ng labi niya roon at ang mga marahang kagat niya. When his lips reaches my shoulder, I could feel him nibbing onto my skins and all I could do is to create unfamilliar sounds that disappear into the thin air.
"We... we should... stop." I heard him say it when he stop onto the crook of my neck.
"If we continue this, I might not hold back anymore, Monique. Let's stop... here. Fuck." Gusto kong matawa ng bahagya ng marinig ko ang frustration sa boses niya ng maisip niya ang ideya na titigil kami rito. He will always do this. In the midst of our heated moment, he is the one who will iniate to stop until we do further... and he will eventually lock himself in the bathroom afterwards.
"Rahim..." I called out to him and he slowly rise his head and look over me.
"We could... do it today." I whisper towards him. Ang bahagyang panlalaki ng mata niya ang mas lalong nagpangiti sa akin.
"Pere—- No... we don't need to this kind of things right away. I can... I can wait." Pakiramdam ko ay natataranta siya sa akin dahil sa bakas ng panic sa kanyang mukha.
"I'm sure, Rahim. We could do it." I said and reach for a kiss from him which he immediately obliged.
"Monique... I told you—"
"I think I'm ready, Rahim."
"And what if in the middle of it, you found out that you're not? I don't want you to hate me because of this. It's mere physical. I don't want to lose you!" May kung anong dumagan sa puso ko ng sabihin niya iyon at ng bahagya siyang umayos ng pagkakaupo. The sudden frustration on his face suddenly resurfaces. Ako na yata ang pinakamahirap na case na nakuha ni Rahim sa buong buhay niya. He was never this frustrated over his cases, sa akin lang talaga.
"Then I'll ask you to stop once I feel that I'm not ready. We could take it slow. You won't lose me. I promise." I utter in a small voice as I try to reach his face again. Ang mukha niya ay puno ng pag-aalangan habang tinitignan ako.
"Damn it. Are you sure about this, baby?"
"I'm more than sure because it's you that I'll be doing it with." I answered back at doon na siya nagpakawala ng isang buntong hininga as if he let go of anything holding him back.
"Your father is always right, damn it!"
"You talked about this with my father?!"
"He said that he will kill me if I do it without your proper consent!!! I feel like I'll die when he said that! Damn, baby."
"When my parents are overprotected with me, my friends told me to bring a condom. Required ba na ginagawa iyon kapag may outing
?!"
"You really are innocent, Monique." and with that, he swept me away with his kisses. His kisses where beyond describale with words and surpass the logic or any rational present in me. With his kisses, my body just wants to follow his lead, just want to give in whole heartedly. Ganito ba talaga kalakas ang hatak ni Rahim sa mga babae? Jeez! And I'm just realizing this now?!
Nang bumaba ang halik niya sa collarbone ko at marahang pinuno iyon ng halik ay tuluyan ng uminit ang pakiramdam ko. His teeth slightly glided through my collarbone, making me shiver while laying underneath him. Ang isang kamay niya ay patuloy akong idinidiin ng bahagya sa kama na tila pinipigilan ang sarili sa lahat ng nararamdaman namin ngayon.
"Can I?" after a couple of breaths ay bumaba ang tingin ko kay Rahim na nasa tapat na ng dibdib ko ngayon. Parang nabuhay ang hiya sa katawang lupa ko ng marahan niyang iginaya ang ilong sa gitna ng dibdib ko. The electrifying feeling it sent me can make me collapse on the spot. My whole body's temperature keep on increasing as he continue to do wonders on me. Nang mapagtanto ang ibig niyang sabihin ay hindi ko na napigilan ang mapakagat sa pang-ibabang labi at bahagyang tumango.
In one swift move ay natanggal niya na sa akin ang spaghetti strap tube top ko. I immediately flush when my bare chest was expose before his eyes. A light reflects on his orbs and I feel like the way that he looks at me, halk-naked was somewhat a look of a devotee in front of a saint. I can see how he slowly lick his lower lip before joining me into another set of fiery kisses. Now tha his bare hand found one of my mounds, I automatically went into hysteria when he starts fondling on one of them, finding my peak and start arousing it. I can hear my unfamilliar voice, filled with pelasure and desire as I call his name continously while aching my back because of the sensation his giving just by twitching my peaks!
Bakit napakagaling niya sa ganitong mga bagay?!
"Damn. Fuck." He groans as he lift his head a little breaking the kiss. The next thing I know, his mouth cover one of my peaks and I went crazy! His lips is soft as it caress my peak, slightly biting it and playing with his tongue.
"R-Rahim ah!." I felt embarassed of my own voice. Pakiramdam ko ay may kung anong sumapi sa akin. I've always become familiar with sexual intimacy but the books never told me that it is this good! So freaking good!
"Teka- Rahim!" Napatigil ako sa gitna ng pag iisip ng maramdamang bumaba ang ulo niya sa tyan ko. When I realize what he is about to do ay parang mas lalong gusto kong magpakain sa lupa. His eyes met mine with determination, parang uminit lalo ang mukha ko ng bahagya niyang ibaba ang tingin niya sa parte kong iyon.
"You don't have to do t-that." I whisper in the cold air. I didn't expect to see a smirk on his face nang dahan-dahan siyang umangat sa akin at muli akong dinampian ng halik.
"If you feel like you don't like it. Just tell me and I will stop, okay?" He whispers and plated small kisses on my neck. Nahanap agad ng kamay ko ang batok niya ng magsimula na naman siyang sambahin ulit ang katawan ko. The burning desire inside of me keeps on knocking on my door as he continue to sent different kind of sensation with my body.
My eyes immediately shut open ng maramdaman ang kamay niyang binaba ang suot kong shorts. My feace heated when I realize that I'm completely naked in front of him. I cover my face in such embarassment at ang malakas na tawa niya lamang ang narinig ko. Still in my covered face, I can sense him finding his way back towards my face. Sa tuwing hindi ako nagigisng sigurado at kinakain ng hiya sa ginagawa namin ngayon ay lagi siyang nabalik sa akin upang ipaalala na it's okay for me to say no, but at this point I don't want to stop anymore! I'm just not used to this kind of thing!!!
"Are you okay?" He asks ng magtapat ang mukha namin. I slowly opened my eyes and saw him looking intently at me. Inaaral ang bawat reaksyon ko at ng katawan ko. When I finally open my eyes ay doon ko lamang nakita ang kabuuang itsura niya. His hair is in a mess, his face some droplets of sweat, his broad steel chest bare in front of me and this oozing scent and aura all over him. Para akong kinain ng hiya ng ma-realize na this can one of my favorite looks of him! Jesus Christ, Monique Angel!
"Do you feel comfortable? We can stop at this moment—"
"H-Hindi!" Nakita ko ang pagtaas ng isang kilay niya dahil sa bilis ng pagsagot ko. One of this hand found the side of my waist and caress it slowly as he continue to interrogate me in the middle of the bed!
"Are you sure? Monique, you don't have to force yourself if you feel uncomfortable—"
"I like everything!" Ako naman ngayon ang natuptop dahil sa biglang sinabi. Kumalat ang init sa mukha ko dala ng hiya dahil sa sinabi ko. A small chuckle came from him and he slowly shook his head and bury it at the crook of my next.
"I'm so fucking turned on." He whispers and before I knew it, his hand found my flesh in between. Ang kapit ko sa kanya ay mas humigpit ng magsimulang gumalaw ang daliri niya. I felt delirious by how execellent his movements are! He is touching my every spot, every inch and not wanting to miss a chance to explore me. My whole body is responding to him, my moans filled the room and all I could think is how mighty his fingers are as I continue to bury my head at the side of his neck. He continue to showe me kisses as he works wonders with his finger down there.
"Ah! R-Rahim!!" My moan sounds so erotic that I couldn't even tell if it came from me, especially when he slowly inserted one of his finger in and slowly thrust it in and out of me. I feel like convulsing as the pace continue to quickens in every second. I hold onto Rahim like my whole life defend on it lalo na ng maramdaman kong umikot ang sikmura ko and without a second passing, I felt like the surge of pleasurable waves releases from. My breathing became heavy as I continue my release. Pakiramdam ko ay hapong-hapo ako matapos iyon.
But I didn't even have the chance to recover when I found Rahim's face in between my thigh and before I could even protest, his tongue moves onto my sensistive flesh and all I could do is grip his hair and lock his head between my thighs. Jesus! What is this?! Why is it this good?!
"Rahim! Oh my!" Mas lalo yata akong nabaliw ng maramdaman kong ipasok niya ang dila niya sa akin. I want to stop him ebcause of this embarrassment in me but such pleasurable sensation had taken over me. He continue to pelasure me down there for I don't know how long, the surge of pleasure and wave of insatiable sensation just keeps on coming on me that I almost lost count!
And when he finally stop, I felt restless already but when I look at Rahim I knew that there will be next! Marahan niyang inabot ang pitaka sa beside table ng kama and pulled a sachet there. Nang ma-realize kung ano iyon ay parang bumuhos sa akin ang hiya at pinaghalong kaba.
"Do you wish to continue, Monique? We can stop if you want, just tell me." Marahan akong napalunok nang marinig ang nakaka-akit niyang boses malapit sa tenga ko. I slowly shook my head, stating that I do not want to stop, not when we were this close and it feels so freaking good!
He slowly strips his last piece of clothing and when i finally see it ay para akong natuyuan ng lalamuna. Will that thing... fit me?!
He ripped the condom packet and slowly insert it on his shaft. Para akong pinamulahan na naman ng mukha ng dumako ang tingin ko roon. Rahim on the other hand reach me when he saw me looking.
"Let me help you." He said and in swift of kisses, I was back on laying down in the soft bed. He slowly position himself in front of me.
"I'll start putting it in, tell me when it hurts." He said lower his head to reach another kiss from me. And then I felt his thing slowly enter me. When the first seconds send waves of shock to my body, I felt like I was being stretch to my fullest. I small whimper came out of me and Rahim immediately reach me.
"Hush, baby. Should we stop? Does it hurt a lot?" Agad akong umiling at marahang kinagat ang pang ibabang labi ng maramdaman ang kirot ng bahagya kong ginalaw ang bewang ko.
"Stay still, Monqieu." My breathe twitches when I felt his hands on one of my breast. He starts caressing it and simultanously push through me.
"Ah! Jesus!" My calls is indiiferent between pain and pelasure especially when he start nibbling on my peak with his mouth. My whole brain is torn into focusing on to the pain and the immesurable pleasure that he is giving me.
With one more thrust and I can feel him fill me in with his thing. It was so deep in me I don't know what to feel anymore!
"Let's stay still for a bit." He ordered and stayed on top of me, eyeing me. Marahan kong inabot ang mukha niya at iginaya sa isang halik. The unstopable feeling inside of me consumed me when I met his soft lips and tasted myself in his tongue. That moment, my body start to move on its own, Rahim forcefully break the kiss and hold my hips firmly with one of his hands.
"Damn! Baby, stay still!" He insisted but my body was craving for more, especially when I feel this filled with him. it's indescribable! It's unworldly!
"Damn it!" and when I heard a loud groan from him, he started moving himself!
"Rahim!" I cried when the pelasure starts to surges back to me. My hands are scratching his back as he continue to rock me faster. I can feel Rahim leaving some marks on my body and continue to works his way by pleasuring me. This kind of thing is intoxicating!
"Damn, baby! Fuck!" He shouted and increases his pace even more. My whole body is reaching another way of mind-wrecking orgasm. Rahim hold on to me tighter, softly biting me on my shoulder and pound on me faster and faster as I can feel he is also reaching his climax.
"R-Rahim! Ah! Ah!" My grip gets even more tighter as he continue to rush back and fort in me, my hips following and welcoming each of his thrust.
"Fuck! Monique, damn it!" and I can feel his heated spasm in my inner core. My vision become a blur for a moment when I release once again. Rahim stayed on top of me for a couple of seconds bago tuluyang umayos. He removes inself inside of me carefully and throw the condom before finally settling beside me.
Pakiramdam ko ay anu mang minuto ay makakatulog na ako dahil sa pagod at pinaghalong di maipaliwanag na pakiramdam.
"Are you okay, Monique?" he whispers and snuggle me beside him before covering me with the sheets. I slowly nod and even push myself towards him even more.
"Are you sure, baby? Did you felt anything?" The hint of concern and hesitant in his voice warms me. Marahan ko siyang tinignan and saw how anxious his face his. This man cares for me more than I could imagine.
"I felt good, Rahim. Thank you." I whisper and reach for a kiss from him.
"Damn it, baby. I love you." He said and embrace me with all his might. I unconsciouly smile on to myself as I bury myself deep into his clad chest.
"I love you too, Rahim. Thank you so much." and before I could get any response from him, I doze into one of the best sleep I had in the past years.