After dropping Lizzie off at the Transfiguration classroom, Orion had found Murphy in their Common Room. In a stark contrast to the days leading up to their match, the circular room was pleasantly silent. The older students were nursing their hangovers while most of the younger ones were outside soaking in the sunshine.
Orion and Murphy had retreated to one of the reading nooks recessed in the masonry. A scroll of parchment lay in front of each of them and both had their brows furrowed in concentration as they tried to transfigure them into quills without using the proper incantation out loud.
Nonverbal spells usually weren't a problem for Orion, the main thing required being a strong focus. But today the transfiguration didn't work, no matter how often he repeated the words in his mind.
It was no use, he knew his head was elsewhere; all the events of last night swirled around his centre in a vortex that was tugging at his concentration. Neither could he blank out the exhilaration that had coursed through him as he and Lizzie finally had kissed, nor could he ignore the sorrow he had felt as he had tried to soothe her through her bitter tears. Seeing her fall apart in front of him had cut through his heart, but he couldn't deny the sting of disappointment as he thought about Rowan's accusations as well.
He knew he shouldn't have kissed her again and he hadn't meant to, but his mind seemed to lose control of his body whenever she was near. With the way she had been looking up at him, equal parts hopeful and scared, his wish to hold her close had become overwhelming. It had been hard letting go of her, but he stood by what he had told her; if she didn't solve the conflict between her and Rowan and put her mind to ease, any connection between them would be overshadowed by the loss of their friendship.
McNully let out a small cry of triumph as his parchment finally changed its shape. It still looked a little bit too yellow and too brittle to pass for a proper quill, but contrary to Orion, he had at least managed to pull the transfiguration off.
His friend laid his wand aside and inspected his feather. "Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" he asked nonchalantly.
"What lets you think I'm bothered?"
Murphy glanced at his non transfigured scroll. "You're usually much better at nonverbal spells than I am."
Orion raised an eyebrow. "Don't you have any numbers backing your observation?"
"Don't offend me, of course I have," Murphy shook his head indignantly. "I just don't think it's the time for statistics now." Ignoring Orion's sceptical look, he put his wand away. "It's about Lizzie, isn't it?"
It had taken McNully a good amount of prying and guessing to get last night's story out of his friend. Given Murphy's chattiness, Orion had initially wanted to keep it to himself, but Murphy just knew him too well. It was only after filling him in that Orion had noticed how relieved he was to have someone to share his thoughts with; talking about it with Murphy made it feel more real and less like a dream, both the good and the bad.
McNully took Orion's silence as a sign to go on. "Don't worry about her," he smiled encouragingly, "she and Rowan will be fine."
"I hope so," Orion sighed, "Lizzie has fallen off balance; I have never seen her so disconcerted before. I'm worried about her."
Murphy's eyes dropped to the table as he spun the feather between his fingers. "The rumours going around at the moment won't help either."
When Orion didn't respond, he looked up sharply to find a hint of confusion on his friend's face. "Don't tell me you haven't heard?" he asked in an astounded voice. "It's the talk of the school; I have heard five different versions of the story so far."
"What story, McNully?" Orion asked, but even though his voice was patient, he could feel his shoulders tense.
Very uncharacteristic for him, Murphy seemed to struggle to find the words he was looking for. Not finding a proper way to nicely phrase what he was about to say, he answered only hesitantly. "The common theme seems to be Lizzie screwing with Charlie Weasley and... well you, I suppose, at the same time," he finished meekly.
Seeing Orion's expression darken considerably, he quickly added, "Which is nonsense of course; we both know Lizzie would never do something like that."
As much as Orion wanted to believe him, he found a tiny flicker of doubt tugging at his faith in Lizzie; he had known her for so long and had always believed her to be a person that wore her heart on her sleeve; instead, she had tangled herself in a web of lies that were falling back on her now. He had been honest when he had told her that he didn't hold it against her; but he couldn't help the thought that maybe he didn't know her as well has he had thought.
As if on cue, the sneering voice of Everett cut through the silent atmosphere of the room; he and a few of his friends had just entered the Common Room. He held his head even higher than usual and a smug grin was plastered onto his face. He was talking loudly to his companions as he made a point of walking past Murphy and Orion.
"From what I've heard, Jameson's had a fling with Weasley for over a year now; apparently they hooked up at his home over the Christmas break." He let out a menacing laugh. "But I'm not surprised, to be honest, I always thought she was a rather loose one."
"Watch your mouth, Everett," Murphy cut him off angrily. "These rumours are absolutely baseless; the chances of them being true are so low, they're not even worth calculating."
Everett turned towards them, his eyes looking down at Murphy condescendingly. "Is that so?" His smile grew even wider, the complacency positively dripping from his words. "Well big news, McNully, I heard it from her best friend myself."
Before he had a chance to stop himself, Orion's head went up at his words and his jaw locked. The motion was only minuscule, but Everett had noticed it all the same.
"Her little prefect friend was bitching to Penny Haywood this morning on their way to breakfast. She seemed pretty sure they have something going and Jameson's been lying straight to their faces the whole time, kept the whole thing her dirty little secret. Just shows what kind of person she really is."
His attention turned to Orion; he was sizing him up gloatingly. "If you ask me, kind of pathetic someone like our Captain fell for her."
Murphy was bristling up but Orion silenced him by putting a hand on his shoulder. The calm expression he held Everett's gaze with was a stark contrast to the anger boiling under his skin. His whole philosophy was against fighting another person, let alone a member of his own team, but much to his surprise, he felt the tips of his fingers twitching with suppressed rage and the sudden desire to wipe the smug grin off Everett's face.
Everett's confident smile started to waver as Orion's gaze bored into his; he may have looked composed but there was a cold fire burning in his eyes that made Everett flinch subconsciously.
"I understand the frustration of being rejected where others are not may run deep," he answered coolly, "but be careful; spreading rumours is playing with fire." His eyes grew harder and he raised his chin. "Take care not to burn yourself."
Everett held his gaze for a moment longer before he dropped his eyes with a derisive snort. He motioned his friends to follow him and stalked over to the other side of the Common Room, as far away from Murphy and Orion as possible.
Murphy watched with a scowl as the group shooed a few first-years off a sofa. "Do you think what he said is true?" he asked silently without looking at Orion.
"No," Orion answered brusquely, sounding much more determined than he felt, however. "I don't think we could have been so wrong about her after all these years of knowing her. And even if there was some truth to it, it would be unfair to judge without having heard both sides of the story."
Murphy opened his mouth to say something but Orion shook his head. "I don't want to discuss this any further right now. Whatever may have happened between Lizzie and Charlie in the past is in the past; what matters is the present and at present, I'm feeling unsettled."
He got up and cracked his head from side to side; the muscles in his neck had tensed considerably since this morning. "If you need me, you know where to find me."
*
Orion didn't know for how long he had been balancing; he had lost track of time in the process of turning his focus on his inside. He opened his eyes for a moment; judging by the light of the sun, it was probably way past lunchtime, but he didn't care too much about a missed meal right now.
All of his concentration was needed to stay upright on his broomstick, that was hovering a good deal above the Quidditch stands. He was thankful for the peace his meditation exercise was giving him. All his thoughts were focused on his steady breathing and his muscles balancing his body in the air, leaving no room for distraction.
He was facing the pitch, his back turned to the rows of wooden seats beneath him, so when he heard a familiar voice calling his name, he couldn't help but jump a little from being broken out of his concentration so suddenly.
It took him a moment to secure his footing again before he abandoned his standing position and sat down on the handle of his broom. Looking down, he could see Lizzie sitting on the middle row of the stands, her feet resting on the seat in front of her. He had no idea how long she had been there already and he felt his lips curve into a smile as he flew down to meet her.
She stood up as he landed and looked up at him; Orion had never really noticed how big the height difference between them was. As the beating of his heart sped up, he took a deep breath to not lose the calm state of mind he had acquired over the last few hours so quickly. But he couldn't help it, Lizzie's presence alone was enough to brighten his mood considerably, all thoughts about focus and balance forgotten.
"It seems like you almost knocked me off balance, Chaser," he greeted her with an affectionate smile.
Lizzie, however, didn't smile back at him. She didn't answer him either; she was simply watching him, her expression stern, the look in her eyes unusually sad. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and held her elbows as if she was hugging herself.
Orion felt the smile fade from his face and his brow furrowed in concern. "What's wrong?"
She evaded his eyes and turned her head, looking out over the sunbathed pitch. If possible, she looked even paler than this morning.
"I followed your advice, Captain," she finally said quietly with a bleak voice. "I talked to Rowan."
"What did she say? Were you able to settle your differences?"
Lizzie hugged herself tighter. "Yes."
She turned her head from the pitch to face him again, a humourless smile tugging at her lips that didn't reach her eyes; if anything, it made her look sadder than before.
"She gave me a choice."
Now it was Orion's turn to remain silent. He fought the urge reach out to comfort Lizzie when she couldn't hold his gaze any longer, eyes dropping to the ground again as she struggled to continue. The warmth he had felt moments before was starting to subside, leaving him cold and tense in anticipation of her next words.
"Rowan is willing to forgive me and give our friendship another chance; under one condition," Lizzie raised her eyes to meet his again and there was no need for her to continue; Orion knew what she was about to say.
"I have to choose between her and you."
The silence following her words was deafening. Both of them were standing on the wooden stands of the Quidditch pitch, facing each other without a word as the hot rays of the sun burned down on them.
After what felt like an eternity, Orion loosened his grip on the handle of his broomstick, that he had subconsciously gripped tighter, and inclined his head.
"I think I know where your choice fell," he finally managed to answer.
He could see Lizzie was fighting back her tears as she quickly looked away and pressed her lips together, her chest rapidly rising and falling from trying not to cry. The wish to hold her was so strong it almost physically hurt him, but Orion didn't move; he couldn't.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice close to breaking. She extended her hand as if to touch him, but stopped halfway, her hand dropping down to the wooden railing.
"Don't be sorry," Orion heard himself say; despite of what it meant for him, for them, he couldn't stand seeing her so devastated. "Rowan is your oldest friend and your bond is worth preserving."
He laid a hand on her shoulder, careful not to scare her as he felt her muscles tense beneath his touch. The desire to embrace her grew close to overwhelming but instead he focused on his words.
"While I understand that she is hurt, it is not fair to demand such a decision from you. Do you want me to talk to her?" he added after a moment, knowing full well that she wouldn't hide behind his back from the effects of her own doings.
And sure enough, Lizzie quickly shook her head. "I don't need you to fight my battles," she answered with a trembling voice, but he could hear the hard resolve behind it. "I caused this mess and I have to face the consequences."
"But this doesn't only concern you," Orion responded quietly. He saw Lizzie's determination waver in the way her brow slightly creased and her lips parted to say something, but instead, she averted her eyes.
"Don't make me question my decision," her voice had a desperate tinge to it as she added a quiet, "please."
"Then I will understand and respect your choice." He ran his thumb over her shoulder, hoping to give her at least some sort of reassurance.
"No matter how much your decision pains you, if you follow the path your heart is showing you, you are sure to go into the right direction." He offered her another smile but he knew the sadness that was darkening her eyes was mirrored on his own face.
Lizzie opened her mouth to say something again but stopped herself at the last second.
"Thank you for understanding," she whispered instead.
She reached up and covered his hand with hers. She tilted her head so she could press her cheek against it for one last moment before gently brushing it off. Without looking at him again, she turned around and vanished into the shadows of the staircase.
Orion stared after her for a moment, still feeling the touch of her cheek against his hand before he sat down on the wooden seats, restlessly raking his fingers through his hair. He let himself fall onto his back, watching the clouds above roll by.
When he was balancing, his goal was to clear his thoughts and empty his mind. Right now, he had no thoughts as well, but the silence inside his head wasn't peaceful, it was crushing; he felt anything but balanced.
*
Lizzie barely made it into the cool darkness of the tower before the tears started welling up in her eyes. She bit them back a few moments longer until she was absolutely sure Orion wasn't following her. She didn't expect him to; he had always respected the boundaries she'd set. But she knew full well, if he made the unlikely decision go after her, her resolve would crumble into nothingness.
When she had reached the last landing of the stairs, she sank down onto the topmost step and hugged her knees, burying her face in her arms as the tears finally started falling. She tried not to sob, so no one would hear her and the effort took her breath away, shaking her whole frame violently as she dug her nails into her thighs. The physical pain gave her something to cling to as she struggled to regain her composure.
She repeated the words she had told herself ever since she had made her decision in her mind over and over again, like a steady mantra in the chaos of her thoughts. She had done the right thing, made the right choice; she had been a bad friend for far too long.
She had known Orion would understand and accept her decision, but she wished he hadn't. She wished he had challenged her, called her out for running, told her they would find a way and give her the excuse she so desperately needed to allow her to be with him regardless.
But instead, he had followed her wish and let her go; the way he had looked at her as she had brushed his hand off her shoulder had been so sad and yet so caring at the same time, it made Lizzie's stomach twist with regret, the guilt she felt increasing beyond measure.
His words were still ringing in her ear and made a bitter smile appear on her face. 'If you follow the path your heart is showing you, you are sure to go into the right direction.'
But if she was on the right path, then why did it hurt so much?