Inosuke jolted out of bed the instant he awoke, feeling excitement shake through his very bones.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Today's the day!
Jumping out of his covers and ripping off the black shirt he slept in, the boar boy busted his door down, and made a mad dash down the hall, grinning under his boar mask.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!! Finally, I get to do my long-awaited training with chain man!!
His heart raced in anticipation of the many techniques and methods of training he would get to learn. Kicks, punches, swordsmanship, Inosuke couldn't wait for it all.
Hahahahaha, I can't wait to get my body even more buff! I'll look like a mountain, just like that old man with a missing arm!
Just the very thoughts were enough to make him laugh and howl.
"Buwohahaha, coming through, coming through, coming thr-
"Hold it, fuckhead."
Suddenly, Inosuke ran headfirst right into Sakusa's open hand, and he was snatched off his feet.
"WHA?!"
Throwing a tantrum and screaming like a wild animal, Inosuke was dragged by the face down towards the kitchen.
"Come on, boar boy." He said as he entered the kitchen, "You gotta eat."
The kitchen itself was located in the center of the Kari manor. The entire main building was incredibly open-concept and spacious, with only the two hallways being the one that led down to Yaguchi's office on the left, and the guest quarters on the right.
The kitchen, main entryway, dining area (which was just a closed-off room with a few tables placed sporadically) and weapons room (every Kari building needs one) were all located in the one large spacious area in the manor, with a large pair of sliding doors leading to the back of the premises.
There, the training areas were located, far from where any damage to the weapons manufacturing, stables, medical office and other facilities could be harmed by the Kari's reckless attacking.
Inosuke didn't bother to learn every location of everything, however, he only cared about the bathroom, kitchen, bed and training areas.
The main branch lived in a separate house in the far left of the walls surrounding the manor, so Sakusa and Yaguchi's were quit far from Inosuke himself.
Now, though, Sakusa was pulling the boar boy into the kitchen area, where one person he hadn't met was cutting up vegetables and putting them in a pot, humming a cheerful tune to themselves.
"Oi, Mother, you got breakfast going yet?"
"Ah, it's almost ready, I'm just doing some more prep for lunch right now, darling!"
Inosuke was dropped into a seat just in front of the woman in the kitchen, and suddenly, his world was turned upside down.
The second she turned towards him, a devastating wave of déjà vu crashed over him.
A middle-aged woman who's beauty lay beyond the realms of description stood before him, flashing a smile that seemed so familiar to him, and yet, he just could not put his finger on where he recognized her from.
Her eyes, bright green like emeralds, peered at him, almost as if she could see right through the boar mask atop his head.
There was one odd thing about her, however.
Her stomach was abnormally large, and round.
There was no signs of her being overweight like the blubbery demons Inosuke had sliced to bits before, and yet, her belly stood out like an anomaly on an almost flawless figure such as herself.
Who was she?
She spoke.
"Ah, oh, my, what a lovely mask you have there~!"
His own green eyes flashed open even more.
Even her voice was so alike one he had heard so long ago.
Just who was this woman?
"So, what are you making today, mother?" Sakusa asked from Inosuke's right, leaning over the counter.
The boar boy turned his head towards the man beside him, and tilted it in curiosity.
....mother....?
Sakusa took a glance over in Inosuke's direction and raised an eyebrow when he saw his Tsuguko looking at him. The man could tell that the boar boy sported a questioning look behind his mask, and shifted in his seat to turn towards him, leaning on his elbow against the counter.
"What is it, boy? Speak up, I know you want something."
Inosuke didn't reply right away, instead, he took a quick turn towards the woman wearing an apron, before turning back to Sakusa.
"....who is she?" He muttered, lifting a finger up in her direction.
"Who, her?" Sakusa replied, pointing back to his mother, who had her back turned to them as she worked on the vegetables, "That's my mother."
"....ah." Inosuke was left a little speechless. He didn't know what this feeling inside of him was.
Seeing this woman, a well-kept beauty with eyes so similar to his own, charcoal-black hair and a gorgeous smile so familiar was completely puzzling him.
This apparently was Sakusa's mother, so just why exactly did he recognize her so much?
Sakusa shrugged, shifting himself back in his seat so he faced the woman working at the kitchen counter.
"So, what'd you make for us, mother?" He asked again.
"Ah, ah, ah~!" The woman turned away from the vegetables with a bright smile on her lips, and leaned over the counter herself, meeting the redhead's eye with a look of her own.
"Remember, you need to wait for your father, darling~?"
Sakusa let out a huff and slouched back down in his seat, crossing his arms. "Tch, why should I wait for that old man, huh?"
"Oh, please, your father is far from old, he had you when he was 15, remember~?" Sakusa's mother replied with a cheerful tone.
"Pft, can't believe you fell in love with that man anyway-
"OI, SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!"
Inosuke and Sakusa were alerted by the sound of thumping footsteps shaking the very ground as the thundering bellow of a certain Kari came rushing towards them, roaring like a beast as he stormed his way into the kitchen.
"OOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAA!!" Like a cannonball fired through the air or a buffalo rampaging through the halls, Yaguchi's burst into the kitchen and tackled Sakusa over and off of his chair down onto the floor, igniting a dogfight on the floor between father and son.
"RAGH, FUCK YOU, ONE-ARMED OLD MAN!"
"CALL ME THAT AGAIN, AND ILL NEED TO MAKE ANOTHER FUCKING SON TO REPLACE THE OLD ONE I BASHED INTO BITS!"
Any thoughts Inosuke had before about the woman instantly vanished the second he saw a fight.
"OI, ARE YOU CUNTS FIGHTING WITHOUT ME?! FUCK YOU, I'M GOING TO WIN!"
Excessive grunting, punching, kicking, headbutts and declarations of victory ensued in a chain of reactions that left the trio of musclebound meatheads tangled up like a game of twister.
In a battle between a hot-headed young man, his beefcake father and a 15-year old boar-headed wild boy, there was only one clear winner;
The woman standing over them with a frying pan in her hand, and tick marks sparked up on her forehead.
With a couple of whacks and shrieks of agony, the fight was over.
Yaguchi, Sakusa, and Inosuke all stuck their foreheads to the floor, bowing down to the raven-haired woman standing over them with a false grin on her lips.
"So, are you all going to behave and eat your breakfast now~?"
The three men all collectively shivered at the chilling kindness in her tone.
"Y-Yes, ma'am!" Even Inosuke blurted out, despite him not even knowing who this woman was.
The boar boy took a quick glance over at the two men beside him, however, and froze up like an icicle.
Sakusa, the man who's supposed to be his so-called 'Master' and the father of his master,
were trembling with a look of utter fear on their face.
H-Holy shit....these guys are terrified of this hag....
The woman spoke again, "And are you all going to enjoy my cooking, like good boys~?"
"Y-Yes, ma'am...."
"And you're going to thank me for making you your food, right~?"
"Yes, ma'am...."
The woman clasped her hands together, and her demeanor changed completely, the anger fizzling out in an instant. "Perfect~!" She beamed, "Come get your breakfast, boys~!"
The three boys all took a seat in front of the woman in unison, straightening their backs like a row of buddha statues, not daring to anger the woman serving them.
"Ah~, there we go~!" The woman stepped away from the counter carrying three bowls of rice along one arm, and a plate filled with various small side dishes, protein and vegetables. She gracefully handed each dish over to the man in waiting, and served them tea in a flash, swiping her hands together with a proud grin on her lips.
"There you have it, darlings~!" She exclaimed, "Eat up~!"
"T-Thanks, mother." Sakusa awkwardly mumbled first. Yaguchi gave her a quick nod, and the two began to eat.
Inosuke, though, just sat there for a brief moment, before jerking his head in the direction of the woman and screaming,
"WAIT A SECOND, WHO EVEN ARE YOU, AND HOW DID YOU GET LORD INOSUKE HASHIBIRA TO LISTEN TO YOU?!"
"OI!" A sharp whack to the back of the boar boy's head alerted Inosuke, and he darted his head to the man who smacked him. "DON'T YELL AT THE TABLE, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Yaguchi barked, pointing his finger at the woman,
"AND DON'T YOU EVER YELL AT MY WIFE AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?!"
"HUH?! WIFE?!" Inosuke retorted in anger, jerking his head back over to the woman once more, "WHAT THE HELL IS A WIFE?!"
"Tch, for god's sake," Sakusa groaned, pulling himself away from his food and turning towards the boar boy to his left.
The redhead crossed his arms and scowled. "Boar boy, you know how I told you about how Shinobu is my fiancée?"
"Yeah, what about it, dumbass?"
"Ugh, don't call me dumba- n-nevermind," Sakusa shook his head, "Boar boy, do you know anything about marriage at all?"
"MARRIAGE?!" Just like when he learned about the concept of a fiancée back at the Butterfly Mansion, Inosuke definitely did not want to seem like he didn't know something that Sakusa did. Everything was a competition, and there was no way he would even lose once against this man.
It's too bad he didn't know jackshit.
"Y-YEAH, OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT A MARRIAGE IS!" He blurted out, though refusing to elaborate.
Sakusa raised an eyebrow in suspicion, "Oya? What is it then?"
"......WHO SAYS I NEED TO TELL YOU, HUH?!"
"Ugh, you're such a problem," The redhead man shoveled a quick bite of chicken and rice in his mouth and continued to say, "Marriage is when you take one person and you take another person and they make a promise to each other that they'll stick together for a long time. It's like a contract."
"No, no, no! That's not the way to say it!" Yaguchi suddenly barged into the conversation with a groan, dropping his chopsticks and turning his attention over to his son and the Tsuguko.
"Oi, boy, let the guy who's actually married tell you what it is!" Yaguchi said, "Marriage is when you take two people and engage in a bullshit ceremony that contractually links you both together."
"But", The oldest man pointed his finger upwards as he put emphasis on his remark,
"The real part of marriage that you need to worry yourself about is the steamy and vigorous sex you're going to have with your partner once the ceremony's ove- BUWAGH-
Before Yaguchi could finish his sentence, Sakusa's mother whipped another frying pan at his head, and he collapsed onto the floor.
"....you did the right thing, mother." Sakusa muttered.
"Of course I did~"
Inosuke, though, was still as confused as ever.
'Contract', 'vigorous', 'sex', what the hell was everyone talking about?
Sure, he's heard Tanjiro spew out some words here and there that he couldn't understand, and Zenitsu loved to use the word 'sex' quite a bit, although Inosuke still never had any idea what it meant, and why the second the blonde boy even attempted to add the name Nezuko to the sentence, Tanjiro beat him with a stick.
Too many big words.
Really quickly, however, the woman took the stage by leaning over their table and explaining everything for him.
"Here, I can give you an explanation that my husband or son couldn't, alright?" She said.
"So, you said your name was Inosuke Hashibira, no~?"
"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Inosuke grumbled.
"Oh, don't worry, darling, I'm just getting to know you a little better~" the woman said,
"My name is Aia, but you call me whatever you like~!"
Inosuke blushed a bit when Aia locked her green eyes with his own through the mask, flashing a bright, friendly grin to him. Fluff balls even began to puff all around his head.
But still, this wave of nostalgia kept crashing in to him.
Aia continued to speak, "So, let's talk about marriage, alright~?"
"So, Inosuke," The green-eyed woman said, "You have friends, right~?"
"Pft, no, I have underlings!" Inosuke declared, jabbing his chest with his thumb.
"....he has friends, mother." Sakusa bluntly said.
"Thank you, dear."
"So, Inosuke," Aia tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "Do you ever just feel this little warmth come up from your chest when your friends do something nice for you~?"
Had Inosuke not been a prideful, painfully-stubborn wild child who never admitted to being weak, he would have nodded. He would have said that Tanjiro's words of encouragement and praise made him feel a little giddy, while Zenitsu....gave him food. Aoi once fed him a larger plate than everyone else which made him incredibly happy, while the old lady at the Wisteria House made his heart skip a beat when she said she would make him tempura. Even Sakusa gave him a little bit- no, a lot of warmth in his heart when he asked him to be his Tsuguko.
He knew what feeling Aia was referring to,
But because Inosuke was Inosuke, he just turned his head away with a huff.
"Pf....no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh, but I think you do, Inosuke~" Aia said,
"See, think of marriage as....a promise, of sorts, that you give to someone who gives you that warmth every second you're around them."
The green-eyed woman turned towards her son and smiled, "Sakusa, darling, you would say Shinobu makes you feel warm all the time, no~?"
"Eh." He shrugged, poking at his food, "When she doesn't beat me up, she's pretty nice."
"Mhm~!" Aia then turned back to the boar boy, "Inosuke, when you one day meet someone who makes you feel that little heat in your chest any time you even think of them, that's when you decide to marry them."
Inosuke tilted his head slightly. "Huh? Why would I ever do something like that?"
Aia, however, only smiled, letting out a little giggle as she leaned off of the countertop with a wink. "You'll see one day, Inosuke."
"After all," the older woman took a glance over at the redhead to Inosuke's right, "If my delinquent of a son can manage to find love, I don't see why you can't one day~"
The boar boy still had some questions swirling around in his mind.
Why should he ever care about marriage? If it wasn't edible, killable, or stronger than him, why should it be a concern of his? The green-eyed woman said it was a promise you could give to someone who makes him feel fluffy inside, right?
Which means-
"OI, CHAIN MAN, DOES THAT MEAN I CAN MARRY A PLATE OF TEMPURA?!"
"THE FU- NO, YOU DIMWIT! AND SHUT UP, I'M EATING!"
No, he could not marry tempura.
Another question he had was why Aia seemed so bloated.
As the woman continued to work, moving around the kitchen, preparing vegetables and the like while humming a cheerful tune to herself, Inosuke continued to ponder and glare at her stomach from beneath his mask. He was so focused on wondering what it was, that he even forgot about the food staring at him in the face.
He narrowed his eyebrows, peering closer at Aia's belly.
"Ugh, for god's sake," Sakusa noticed him glaring from the corner of his eye and turned towards him. "Boar boy, my mother's pregnant, if that's what you're wondering."
"Huh?!" Snapped out of his reverie, Inosuke jerked his head towards the Hashira on his right. "What are you talking about?!"
"Uh, pregnant? You know, there's a baby inside of her right now?"
For once, Inosuke actually knew what Sakusa was talking about. "Ohhhh, yeah, yeah!" The boar boy triumphantly shouted, "The boars and bears used to have baby bears and piglets pop out of them after a while!"
"Mh, that's what's going on with my mother right now."
Inosuke huffed in understanding. Despite the fact that he usually forgot it all relatively quickly, he liked hearing new things, and liked being able to say 'I knew that already!' even more.
He took another look at Aia, though, and removed his mask.
His heart began to pump a little faster the longer he watched her, observing as she continued about her work with a jolly look on her face, as if there wasn't so much as a care in the world around her.
Her eyes, glossed in emerald, were so captivating he couldn't properly process it. There was just something so familiar about this woman, and yet, he was sure he had never met her in his life.
....did he?
Inosuke ate his food, still stuck in thought.
It was incredibly rare for him to think about one thing for too long, but he did anyways, forgetting all about his upcoming training with Sakusa.