- 43 -
Rain...
The rain always puts me in such a melancholic mood. My room is semi-dark, only my small lamp lights it up, giving everything a yellow hue. I'm lying on my bed, my eyes on the window watching the raindrops fall, Rocky is next to me on the floor with his muzzle on his front paws.
Since I arrived from Ares' house, I haven't moved from my bed. It's been a few hours now, night fell, darkening everything. A part of me feels guilty and I don't know why. We did the right thing by leaving, they left us alone. Besides, we didn't want a fight to take place between Carlos and Ares.
I am thinking too much.
The rain gets heavier, so I get up to close my window, the last thing I want is to get my whole room wet. Every time I go near those curtains, I remember the first times I interacted with Ares.
When I finally reach the window, my heart stops.
Ares is sitting in that chair where I first saw him, he is leaning forward, his hands holding the back of his head, his eyes are fixed on the floor.
I blink in case I'm imagining him; however, Ares is still just sitting there, rain pouring down on him. He's soaking wet, his white shirt is clinging to his body like a second skin. What the fuck is he doing? It's fall, for God's sake, he might catch a cold.
I clear my throat.
"What are you doing?"
I have to repeat it and raise my voice because the sound of the rain drowns it out, Ares lifts his head to look at me. The sadness in his eyes takes my breath away for a second, a sweet smile forms on his lips.
"Witch."
I swallow. Every time he calls me that it wreaks havoc on my being.
"What are you doing there? You're going to get sick."
"Are you worrying about me?"
Why do you seem so surprised that I am?
"Of course," I don't even think to answer. Somehow, I'm offended that he thinks I don't care at all.
He doesn't say anything, just looks away. Is he going to stay there?
"Do you want to come in?" regardless of our current situation, I can't just leave him there, looking so sad. I know something is wrong with him.
"I don't want to bother you."
"You're not bothering me, just behave while you're here and we'll be fine."
"Behave? What do you mean?"
"No seducing me and stuff."
"Okay," he raises his hand. "Word of Greek god."
He comes upstairs and as soon as he puts his feet in my room, I realize that maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell him to come: One, because he looks fucking hot all wet and, two, because he's soaking all over my carpet.
"You have to take off those clothes."
He gives me a surprised look.
"I thought no seduction."
I turn my gaze.
"You're soaking wet, don't get any ideas, take them off in the bathroom. I'll see what I can find that fits you."
Obviously, I can't find anything that fits Ares, just a bathrobe that my mother was given some time ago and never wore. I stand in front of the bathroom door.
"I only found one robe."
Ares opens the door and I expected him to be covering himself with the door or something, but no, he opens it and comes out in his boxers as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Jesus Christ, he's hot.
I blush, and look away, extending my hand with the robe towards him until he grabs it.
"Are you blushing?"
"No," I say, acting casual.
"Yes, you are, although I don't understand why. You've already seen me naked."
Don't remind me!
"I'll be right back."
He takes my hand, clear despair in his voice.
"Where are you going?"
"I boiled milk to make hot chocolate."
Reluctantly, he lets go of my hand.
When I return, he is sitting on the floor in front of the bed with his back against the bed, playing with Rocky. Even my dog can't resist him. He looks cuddly in that white bathrobe, I pass him his cup of hot chocolate and I sit down next to him, Rocky comes to me to lick my arm.
We stay in silence, sipping from our cups, watching the rain hit the window. Even though we have enough distance between our bodies for Rocky to pass between us, I still feel those nerves I get when he's around.
I dare to look at him and his eyes are absent, lost, watching the window.
"Are you okay?"
He looks down at the cup of chocolate in his hands.
"I don't know."
"What happened?"
"Some things," he runs his finger along the rim of the cup. "I'll be fine, don't worry."
I let out a sigh.
"You know you can trust me, right?"
He looks at me and smiles.
"I know."
I don't want to pressure him. I know that when he feels ready to tell me what is happening, he will. There, admiring the rain and with a cup of chocolate, we are silent, just enjoying being together.
#
ARES HIDALGO
This feels good.
I never thought being in silence with someone could be so comforting, with Raquel even silence is different, everything with her has been so fucking different.
From the first time we talked, Raquel has been so unpredictable, that was the first thing about her that got my attention. When I expected a reaction from her, she would do something completely different from what I had imagined, and that intrigued me. I enjoyed teasing her, making her blush and seeing that wrinkle in her eyebrows when she gets angry. However, I never planned to feel anything else.
It's just fun.
I told myself so many times when I found myself grinning like an idiot thinking about her.
I just smile like that because it's fun, that's all.
Lying to myself had been so easy, although it didn't last for long, and I knew I was in trouble when I started rejecting girls because I didn't feel anything.
It was as if Raquel had monopolized everything I felt, and that terrified me. I have always had power, control over my life, over what I want, over other people. Giving up that power was impossible; I couldn't give it up to her.
In that entire internal struggle, I hurt her again and again. She took each blow, each hurtful word like an emotional bullet that hurt even more than the previous one. I wanted to believe that she would give up and my life would return to normal, but deep down I prayed that she wouldn't, that she would wait a little longer until I sorted out my mess.
She waited, but she also got tired. She wants me to start from zero, to fight for her?
Why not?
If anyone deserves my effort, it's her.
It is the least I can do after all the wounds I caused her. I am grateful that at least she is giving me a chance to win her over. I also thank her for inviting me to her room, I needed this, I needed the comfort and peace that she gives me.
Finishing my chocolate, I put the cup aside and stretch my legs, putting my hands at my sides. I dare to look at her, and she's still blowing what's left of her chocolate. I guess it's warmer for her than it is for me, I was really cold when I drank it.
Taking advantage of her distraction, I slowly observe her. Her pajamas are one of those onesies that have a zipper in the middle and a hood with little ears to put over her head. She must look adorable with the hood covering her head. Her hair is in a messy bun that looks tousled as if she's tossed and turned a lot. Couldn't sleep, huh?
Inevitably, my eyes fall on her face, and linger on her lips, which are half-open as she blows her chocolate again.
I want to kiss her. To feel her against me.
It feels like it's been forever since I last tasted her lips and it's only been a week. As if sensing my gaze, Raquel turns to me.
"What?"
I want you so much. I want to hold your face in my hands and kiss you, to feel your body against mine.
I shake my head slightly.
"Nothing."
She looks away, blush invading her cheeks. I love the effect I have on her, because she has the same effect on me, if not even worse. I clench my hands at my sides, I can't touch her, she let me in here, I can't scare her away now.
I sigh, listening to the raindrops hitting the window, I feel so much better now. Just having her by my side makes me feel better.
I am so fucked.
I feel her hand on mine on the carpet, the warmth of her skin fills me and comforts me. I dare not look at her because I know that, if I do, I will be close to losing control and begging for her kisses.
With my eyes on the wet windowpane, I say it.
"My grandfather is hospitalized."
For a second, she says nothing.
"Oh, what happened?"
"He suffered a stroke and passed out in the bathroom," my eyes follow a drop slowly sliding down the window. "It took the nurses at the retirement home two hours to notice, to find him unconscious, so we don't know if he will wake up or if he will have very strong after-effects."
She squeezes my hand.
"I'm so sorry, Ares."
"Two hours...," I mutter, feeling a lump forming in my throat, but I swallow hard. "We should never have let them take him to that retirement home, we had enough money to pay for a nurse to take care of him at home. He was fine at home, and the nurse always checked his levels of everything, kept an eye on him. I'm sure, if he had been at home, this shit wouldn't have happened."
"Ares..."
"We should have fought against that decision. We were fucking cowards. Of course, my uncles wanted him to go to the retirement home, I'm sure they were crossing their fingers that he would die there so they could claim his inheritance. My uncles, my cousins..." I make a gesture of disgust, "they disgust me. You have no idea what money can do to people. My father was the only one who decided not to live off my grandfather's money, he only lent him money to start his business and when he became successful, he paid him back. I think that's why my grandfather was always closer to us; in a way, he respected my father."
Raquel caresses my hand in a soothing way, as I continue.
"My grandfather loved us so much and we let them take him to that place. And now he's..." I take a deep breath. "I feel so guilty."
I look down. Raquel moves to sit on my lap, facing me. The warmth of her body caressing mine, her hands hold my face, forcing me to look at her.
"It's not your fault, Ares. It wasn't your decision. You can't blame yourself for other people's decisions."
"I should have fought a little more, I don't know, done more."
"I assure you that if you had found something else to do, you would have done it. You achieve nothing by tormenting yourself this way, now we just have to wait and have faith that everything will be all right, he will be all right."
I look her straight in the eye.
"How can you be so sure?"
She gives me a sincere smile.
"I just know, you've been through a lot, I think you deserve a break. Your grandfather is going to be fine."
Unable to control myself, I pull her to me and hug her, burying my face in her neck. Her scent invades my nose, calming me. I want to stay like this. She lets me hold her and caresses the back of my head.
It's liberating to tell someone how you feel, letting it out takes some of the weight off your shoulders, like you're sharing the pain. I breathe in her scent, taking a deep breath, burying my face even deeper into her neck.
I don't know how long we stay like this and I'm grateful that she doesn't separate from me, that she lets me have her pressed close to my body like this.
When she finally separates from me, I want to protest, but I don't, my fingers gently trace her face.
"You are so cute," I say, watching her blush. The back of her hand caresses my cheek.
"You're cute too."
A pleasant sensation fills my chest...
So, this is what it's like to be happy. This moment is perfect: the rain beating against the window, her sitting on me, her hand on my face, our eyes having a conversation so deep that words could never match it.
I always thought that I would never have something like this, that love was an excuse made to let someone else hurt you, that letting a girl in would weaken you. Yet here I am, letting her in, and the fear has diminished, has been overshadowed by this warm, wonderful feeling.
I lick my lips, observing every detail of her face, I want to memorize it, so that when she is gone, I can remember her well. The sound of the rain mixes with her soft breathing, and my heartbeat echoes in my ears.
I open my mouth and say it before I even finish thinking about it:
"I love you."
Her eyes widen in surprise, her hand stops on my face. I know she wasn't expecting it because I wasn't either, the words were out of my mouth before I could control them. Silence prevails between us and she lowers her hand to hold her chest, hesitating, indecision is clear on her face.
"It's okay, don't feel pressured to answer me," I assure her, faking a smile. "The last thing I want to do is pressure you."
"Ares... I..."
I take her face and lean into her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and then following to her ear.
"I said it's okay, witch."
My breath on her skin makes her shiver and I enjoy it.
When I pull her away, she still seems hesitant, moving over me, and I give her my best smile, squeezing her hips.
"Don't move so much, there's a limit to what I can handle."
The blood rushes to her face and she looks down.
"Pervert."
"Beautiful."
She looks at me again, red as a tomato and stands up, my thighs feel cold without her closeness. What the hell is wrong with me? It's like I'm begging for her attention, her affection desperately, who knew? Me, begging a girl, telling her I love her without getting an answer.
I snort, smiling, making fun of myself.
I remember Raquel's words that night at Artemis' bar after she turned me on and left: "Karma is a bitch, Greek god". Oh, yes it is. Raquel picks up both cups from the floor and sets them on the computer table then turns and gives me a quizzical look.
"What are you laughing at?"
"At myself," I say openly, standing up.
"It's late," she whispers, crossing her arms over her chest. I feel her defensive, careful, and I can't blame her. She's afraid I'll hurt her again.
"Do you want me to leave?" I'm surprised by the fear in my voice. She just looks at me without saying anything, I clear my throat. "It's okay," I walk to the window and see that the rain has stopped, but it's still drizzling.
"Ares... Wait."
I turn to her again, she is leaning on the computer table, her arms still crossed over her chest.
"Huh?"
"You... can... stay," her voice is soft. "But no..."
"Sex," I finish for her. Raquel opens her mouth to say something, but closes it and just nods.
I can't help the relief that runs through my body, I don't want to leave, her company is more than enough for me. Although being with her in a bed is a temptation that I might find hard to handle, I will do my best.
Her dog stretches out in front of the window, while Raquel accommodates the bed, tossing the cushions aside, making room for both of us. She lies down, getting under the covers and I can only mimic her, and lie on my side to watch her. Her bed smells of her and it is so comforting. She lies on her back, her gaze is on the ceiling.
We are close enough that I can feel her warmth and my mind travels to the memory of that night I touched her in this very bed, and I was about to make her mine.
Don't think about that now, Ares.
But how can I not? I want her so badly that I clench my hands so I don't try to reach her. I turn around until I am on my back, I need to stop looking at her.
I close my eyes, and I'm surprised when I feel her crawl toward me. She slips her arm around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder, hugging me sideways. My heart is racing and I am embarrassed that now she can hear it with her ear on it.
This is what I need.
"It's going to be okay," she whispers, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Greek God."
I smile like an idiot.
"Good night, witch."
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Author's note: That's the end of the marathon :D I'll try and upload more tomorrow. Thank you for reading <3