"Fred I-I can't breathe" Adrienne finally managed to say and Fred sheepishly unwrapped his arms from around her. They looked at each other, shyly meeting each others gaze, unable to control the small smiles that were forming on their lips. Adrienne pushed away a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "How about we go back inside and you can get some breakfast? You've missed your portkey now anyway"
"Portkey doesn't matter, I'm staying here until the week is up" Fred replied, causing Adrienne's heart to jump with joy. Things were already starting to get better but there was still a very long way to go. But, a hug was a good start.
Portkey forgotten, Adrienne and Fred headed back into the lodge, shutting the door close behind them. Adrienne reheated the plate of breakfast she had made earlier before handing it to Fred. She leaned against the kitchen counter on her forearms while Fred ate his food in silence, the both of them lost deep in thought as they wondered how their next conversation would commence.
"I saw the bird's nest you made" Adrienne said softly, "I put it outside, reckon it'll have a little family to take care of in a day or two?"
"No bird nest ever made by me has ever gone to waste" Fred grinned, magicking the plate to the sink. He drummed his fingertips on the countertop, searching for words to say. But there was so much to talk about that he didn't know where to start. Everything felt as if it was happening so suddenly, they were fighting one minute and making up for it the next.
"I think that-" they both said at the same time, and blushed when they interrupted each other.
"You go first" offered Fred. Adrienne nodded, resting her palms flat on the countertop and nervously patting it rhythimically, "There's so much we need to talk about, so many things, and I just want the chance to explain everything to you for once so we can get this all out of the way"
Fred bit his lip, looking up at her "I'm sorry I didn't let you explain earlier, I guess I was just really upset and confused about everything that I wasn't even ready to listen to myself".
"It's alright, you had all the rights to be upset with me, I did a terrible thing to you" Adrienne replied understandingly. She was largely at fault here, even though it would've been helpful if Fred could have been a bit more responsive when she was trying to apologise to him in the past week.
"We don't have to do this here, how about we go outside to the lake? You look like you could use the fresh air" Adrienne suggested when she noticed how apprehensive Fred seemed. She was determined to do things right this time, and was ready to go through however long it took to bring things back to normal.
Fred pushed himself off the chair using the counter as leverage and followed by Adrienne, they headed out to the lake that stood just a few meters away from the lodge. The soft sunlight dappled the ripples with a golden shine, almost appearing like a polaroid taken of the sun through a dirty camera lens. Fred's cheeks immediately gained some colour from the heat, a light sheen of sweat forming on his cheekbones as he settled under the tree, his legs crossed.
Adrienne sat across from him, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. Speckles of light shined on her face through the canopy of leaves above her and Fred had to control the corner of his lips from tugging upwards at the sight of Adrienne trying to adjust her seating position so that she could get the sun out of her face.
"So, where should I start?" she asked after settling in properly. "Christmas perhaps?" Fred said.
"Right, Christmas" Adrienne sighed. "As you probably remember, Noah, who I've divorced no by the way, found out about us from this letter that I wrote to you on my birthday but never actually sent it your way. He was mad, really mad. And for some reason, something suddenly clicked in my brain"
"That you couldn't stand being with me?" Fred interrupted. His heart almost leapt out of his chest when he realised that Adrienne had finally divorced the man who had made her life a living hell.
"No! I just couldn't stand the thought of ruining your life more than I already had. I made you miserable, Fred, and it was only going to get worse if our affair kept going on"
Fred took in a deep breath before straightening his back, his fingers involuntarily finding their way to the grass as he started tugging out a few bits of it from the ground, "Whatever makes you think you made me miserable?"
"Because when we were away from each other for all those months before Christmas, I heard about everything that happened with you. All the sleepless nights, Hermione told me how messed up everything was in your life"
Fred looked up at her, disbelief on his face, "And what about you, were you not miserable too?"
Adrienne didn't know what to say, because that thought hadn't occurred to her. "I..."
"Exactly, you forgot about taking care of yourself and only worried about how upset I was. But what about you Adrienne? Spending all those months with that son of a bitch and not knowing where to go with your life. Besides, you missed me too, you said that in your letter"
"I-I did"
"Then why didn't you think for yourself? What about you?" Fred moved a little closer, "Adrienne I fell in love with you because of how independent and strong you were, how you made your mental health priority while taking care of everyone around you. And seeing you completely lose yourself because of me was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Fuck taking care of me, why don't you think about yourself for once?"
"But I did think about myself! Hell the most selfish thing I have ever done was obliviate you! That was me thinking about myself" Adrienne protested.
"No it wasn't, you said it yourself, you did it so that I wouldn't be miserable. And you didn't for once think how you would feel about it. I know you didn't have a great time after I lost my memory either"
Adrienne hadn't thought of it this way, yes she was selfish, but at the same time, she felt just as horrible and lost as he did after she had obliviated him.
"Fred you looked so unhappy it broke my heart"
"Look-"
"No wait, I'm not done yet. Choosing to obliviate you was one of the most cowardly and selfish decisions I've ever made in my life. Not only did I completely ruin the last few months for you, I also made your siblings and friends feel like absolute shit. I'm never going to forgive myself for it, and you shouldn't either"
"You can't convince me to not forgive you because I just did" Fred said determinedly.
"No you haven't"
"Oh yes I have. I know why you did what you did, I can't imagine you to have a rational thought process when you were drowning in the fear of being caught by your husband. So, I understand. And yes it took me a long while to accept it because to some degree, obliviating us was wrong, but I forgive you and you can't change my mind"
Adrienne stared at him in perplexity, she hadn't expected him to forgive her just like that. She hadn't expected him to bring up any of what he just did. But everything he said was true. In the frenzy of protecting Fred, she had been losing her own lucidity.
"Do you get what I'm trying to say?" Fred asked, dusting his hands on his trousers.
"That you're forgiving me?"
"Yes. But also the fact that you completely forgot about yourself. You do realise that at the end of the day the only reason we were both so sad was because we were away from each other? That's the bottomline. It doesn't matter why we were away from each other"
Adrienne still appeared slightly confused so Fred moved a little closer, the speckles now turning his brown irides to shimmer "Adrienne, if you were just any other woman, I would've moved on by now and you would've too. We wouldn't be here, talking to each other" he said softly.
The more Fred spoke, the more his words started to make sense. Adrienne felt as if everything was slowly falling into place.
He made her realise that it was difficult for two free-spirited people to be in a relationship in which they found that dependency came along with it, for what is the sky without both the sun and the clouds? Too hot with no clouds, too gloomy with no sun, but just right when they both exist harmoniously.
He made her realise that if the sun forgot to shine, the clouds couldn't live without it.
He made her realise that she was his cloud, showing him the little, more minuscule things in life to enjoy. He in turn was her sun, showing her all that shone bright, all things loud and lovely, all the light that she had missed in her life for so long. And in that way, they completed each other.
"You're trying to say that I've been blaming myself for no reason?" Adrienne finally asked.
"Well, if I'm being completely honest there are a few places where you went wrong. But you're putting so much unnecessary blame on yourself and it hurts me to see you like this"
"You're forgetting that for the past week, you made me feel like I was worthy of all the blame with all your rules and stuff" Adrienne rolled her eyes playfully.
"What can I say? I have a dramatic flair" Fred chuckled, "But I honestly thought you were worthy of all the hurt until a few days ago. I mean, I'm still a little mad about a few things but I don't want to look back at it anymore. I want to move on, I can't see you like this"
"And I can't see you like this" Adrienne replied truthfully. She fully understood why he could never forgive her for a few things, and she accepted it. In fact, she was glad he didn't forgive her, because if there was one thing she knew about Fred Weasley, it was that he always stood up for himself.
"So what do you suggest we do?" Adrienne asked.
Fred collected all the grass that he had plucked out, held it in his hand and playfully chucked it all over her, causing her to groan.
"I think we should start from the beginning. For example, Hello Adrienne! I'm Fred and I like to throw grass on people"
Adrienne rolled her eyes for the second time, "Hello Fred, I'm Adrienne, and I punch people who throw grass on me" she mimicked him, lightly punching his shoulder.
"There, see? That wasn't so hard was it?" Fred grinned, causing Adrienne to giggle slightly.
She already felt a whole lot better, Fred finally understood her, he forgave her for everything that mattered. What she had done to him was something she wouldn't ever be able to reverse and it left a taint on their relationship.
But as they all say, 'you're tainted, so that must mean you're beautiful'.
"What about the rest? George and all of them?" Adrienne asked worriedly.
"We'll think about all that later, yeah?" Fred asked, getting up from his seat on the floor and extending his hand for Adrienne to hold. She slipped her fingers over his palm, pulling herself up with Fred's help.
"So...from the beginning?" Adrienne asked.
"Yes, from the beginning. And we're doing it right this time" Fred smiled. Then, he quickly pulled his hand out of hers and turned towards the lodge, "Race you to the cabin, first one there gets the TV for tonight!"
"That isn't fair! You started before me" Adrienne laughed, taking off immediately, the both of them sprinting towards the cabin, sniggering amongst each other as they made their way to the one place they both called 'home'.