A thousand thoughts shot into Earth's head upon seeing the other there, panic and anxiety overwhelming him and his hands starting to shake... Even though he had known earlier that there could be a chance, that Mix could be thinking of taking his life or hurting himself... it still hit him unprepared. Having the worst-case scenario in your mind suddenly appear in front of your eyes was something no one could ever feel prepared for, not even if you had spent months or years constructing it in your mind.
Because no matter how many options or plans you had carefully put together in your head, how to either solve the problem or avoid it happening in the first place - seeing it come into reality would catch everyone off guard and leave you baffled on how to react or what to do.
There was only one thing Earth was sure about: He had to do something... but what?
Approaching Mix too quickly could make him loose balance and fall down the building, but then again taking too much time while coming closer could have a similar outcome...
"Mix... Mix.... it's me, " Earth said softly, coming a couple of steps closer while walking a little like a penguin. He was not really trying to be funny or anything but having his arms a little stretched to both of his sides to hold a balance... made him feel at least a tiny bit better. Well, if that was even possible at such an altitude.
But the other did not react.
He repeated his words almost like a spell, not only wanting to carefully attract the other's attention but also trying to calm himself down at the same time. Though, being honest with himself, he was not doing a good job in either of them. With every tiny little step away from the door his legs felt weaker, cold sweat running down his neck and making his palms clam. If it had been any other place that was unrelated to a high altitude, he would have just run over there and not trembled like a leaf int he wind. But then again... he was on top of a six-story building right now and not only afraid of the height but also about Mix jumping off the building. Earth's biggest nightmare coming true.
"MIXXX... please... don't jump...okay? let's talk... let's... let's... " Earth's voice was losing its grip more and more until it was almost a whimper that resembled his trembling hands.
"huh?"
Finally, after what had felt like an eternity, Mix turned around and his brows furrowed in surprise seeing Earth dragging himself forward, a little as if he was balancing on a slag-line over the Grand Canyon... completely scared and devastated.
"What are you doing here Earth? Aren't you afraid of heights?"
In contrary to Earth, who really resembled more like an emotional mess now, Mix' voice was completely calm, not giving any hint that he was crying here or wanting to jump off the building. He seemed a little too reserved even, his face showing sincere worry about his friend... who was worried about him... what?
"Well you ... you wanted to jump off the building so... so I..."
The taller could feel water accumulating in his eyes, his brain producing images of Mix falling down the building, his blood running all over the ground and him standing at the other one's funeral.... And that was when all the dams broke, tears running down his face and little sobs echoing through the jungle of skyscrapers around, Earth's shoulders moving in the same rhythm and his already panicking body shaking. But before his knees could hit the ground violently, two arms had already wrapped around him and helped him stand. It took a moment for the taller to realise who was hugging him, his body still caught in his emotions while his mind slowly started clearing up.
Mix slowly helped him sitting down on the ground, but even once they were both seated, he didn't remove his arms around the other, keeping him close.
"I'm sorry I scared you... I just needed a little time to think and be alone...I did not intend to jump off the roof Earth."
A sigh of relief slipped out of Earth's lips, him finally hugging the other back and placing his head on top of the other's. Just hearing him breath, feeling the movement of Mix' chest and the sign that he was alive... gave his mind the piece it needed, while his body slowly started calming down as well. First his hands stopped trembling and were finally able to rest calmly on the other's back before his shoulder's stopped shaking and the sobs became quiet. Hours could have passed with the two of them just sitting there, holding each other in their arms... and none of the two would have really minded it. This was one of those moments when words were not needed, when just being next to each other, or partly entangled, was enough to give you everything that you needed.
Because even though Mix did not want to admit to it earlier, the moment he saw Earth standing right in front of him... it was a little as if someone had carried a candle inside a pitch-black room: Though his bad feelings did not disappear, he could be sure that there was another person he could reach out to. Another person that would hold his hand. And contrary to his first impulse, wanting to be alone with his problem and distancing himself from both Vee and Earth, it just did not feel the same anymore. It did not feel like a breather but more like falling into a huge black hole... and something inside Mix had wished that Earth would come here. That instead of being on his own, he could talk to Earth... and that it would turn into a new routine whenever he felt down or sad...
But this was neither the right time nor place to say something out like this, so Mix stayed quiet, just hugging Earth and closing his eyes while listening to the other's heartbeat. Something... he could really get used too if he were to be honest.
"So.. you didn't want to hurt yourself, " Earth asked silently while not even moving an inch. Their current position just felt too comfortable and homey to withdraw at this point, and he was a little exhausted from all the worrying.
"I didn't... I just thought it would be good being alone and sorting out everything in my mind on my own... but somehow..."
Mix let out a soft sigh and just closed his eyes, leaning a little more against Earth's bigger frame.
"... but somehow...?"
" I'm glad you came..., " Mix whispered back and just moved his head a little bit, so he could rest against Earth's collar bone. "I'm glad you came... 'cause I feel better now."
The other could feel a warm feeling flowing through his body... butterflies opening their wings and spreading from his stomach into every cell of his body, until he felt electrified and unconsciously pulled Mix a tiny little bit closer. If someone would have seen the two and asked what exactly they were doing, none of them could come up with an answer. They both had not faced their feelings completely, and the combination of their past relationships being a mixture of lies and pain did not make it better. If anything... it just made them more confused and a little glad that they didn't have to answer any questions or put a label on their emotions. Just having each other felt like a big comfort, a shoulder they could lean on when everything seemed to break loose... a little like a safe heaven. Especially for Mix those kinds of feeling felt a little weird and sudden, Vee being the only person he could really rely on for the past years.
After a while the smaller one slowly distanced himself until both Earth and him were sitting right next to each other, their shoulders slightly touching. Mix' glance moved away from his friend again, looking over the night-sight they had from the rooftop, all the lights that illuminated the metropole like a Christmas tree. Even though they were relatively central it wasn't all that loud, cars driving in the background but the sound of the wind being the loudest noise that tried cutting through the silence. It was so much more tranquil than Mix had imagined when coming up here, and now that he was not sitting here alone, he could finally completely appreciate it.
"You know... though Nong Ming said things the way I see or saw it in the past... I slowly start feeling different about them..., " He brought out after a while and completely laid down, until he was able to face the sky comfortably. Earth, hesitantly followed, placing his arm below their heads to make it a little more comfortable before letting his gaze drift to the night sky as well.
" This is about what that guy said earlier right...?"
" Mh... About my family and my brother... "
Mix let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes for a moment and pictures he seemed to have forgotten dashed back in his mind.
The two of them running around as children in their backyard, playing together, laughing together... sharing everything with each other. The way the two of them grew up slowly, seeing the other leave for school while he was still in kindergarten... and every time the other would come back from school, he would run into the other's arms and hug him tight. How he got taught how to read and write not in school but by the person that seemed to be his other half, the many things he would learn thanks to him while growing up. Just everything that happened so long ago but still felt fresh as if it were just yesterday.
Many people dreamed of having a best friend that they knew since their early childhood, growing up together and making beautiful memories throughout the years that they were alive. Being able to see their best friend become an amazing person, finding someone they love and starting a family. Or just being happy and successful, even if they did not have a partner nor a family.
Wishing to have a soulmate, a friend they could spend their lives with and that they could love unconditionally, as if they were two sides of the same medal. As if they were made to exist alongside one another, just existing together being enough for them to be happy. As if having each other in your life was the most natural thing, almost like how you breath or how your heart beats without you having to learn it.
But there was a dark side, something no one really thought about until it happened, until hell seemed to break loose and destroy the very thing that seemed to be a given in every single breath you took. Taking away that person you felt you needed to breath, the one that could stop your heart from beating when leaving your side... but for Mix it was much more than that. He had not just lost his other half, his soulmate and the person that had always been there even when he couldn't speak or walk, even when he wasn't even born... The person that had waited for him to be born and the one without he had to live...
" This might be a little weird of a timing... and considering what has happened earlier it might bring back sad and hurtful memories... but there is someone I want to tell you about , " Mix said softly and opened his eyes again, a wide smile spreading on his lips that was both out of gratefulness... and sadness.
" That person you are talking about... "
Earth wasn't sure what to do really, being torn between wanting to know more about it, and worrying about Mix' word. If he himself already mentioned that talking about it might cause him pain...
" That person... He was my soulmate. The person that was always there in my life and with whom I had such a deep connection... that it was almost as if we were the same person..."
" That person..."
" Phi Dew... my older brother who committed suicide by jumping off our school building..."