(Like I said last time, Ever Origins High is a fanfic by me. It will make more sense if you read that first, and then come read this)
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Kayla: What's a thot?
Yuki: it's a thoughtful person.
*Later at lunch*
Devin: here's the salt Kayla.
Kayla: thank's Devin, you're such a thot.
Bri: *spits out water*
~
Bad: gosh, I couldn't get any sleep last night.
Puffy: you know they say if you can't sleep, it's cause someone is thinking about you.
Bad: who would be thinking about me at 3 am?
Skeppy: *sweats in gay panic*
~
Inmo: why are you said?
Ray: I don't know.
Reese: so just for no reason?
Ray: no, there are plenty of reasons. I'm just not sure which one it is.
~
Jacqueline: why do witches always fatten kids up before they eat them? Fat is the grossest part of meat.
Legs: "why hello there little children~. Please follow me to my magical... FITNESS ROOM! NO PANSIES ALLOWED PAST THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT'S LEG DAY AND WE'RE ABLUT TO GET RIPPED!"
Ranboo: it's because they're always cooking said children in cauldrons and ovens, which means long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that with fatty meat the fat melt completely and gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.
Xylo: ...well you did ask.
Lucas: also, there's wisdom on fattening them up with sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavorful meat.
Bella: you are discussing the semantics of EATING CHILDREN.
~
Blake: you ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?
Micheal: I wish I never had, but thank you for ruining my life.
Bailey: don't worry, there will be a time when it isn't.
Marshie: thanks, even worse!
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Jay-Jay: if you splice the phrase "the devil is in the details" and "the proof is in the pudding", you get "the proof is in the details", which makes sense, and "the devil is the pudding", which is an omen.
Don: why are you like this?
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Cyro: what if mayonnaise came in cans?
Jakeed: that would suck because you can't microwave metal.
Cordelia: good morning to everyone but you two!
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Rosette: everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
Liberty: I have seen a whole new world...
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Pat: Liberty and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us.
Rosette: *Sighing* What did Liberty do?
Pat: She chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Liberty: Who wants a steering wheel?
~
Liberty: I can't believe you live nearby, and you won't let us crash at your place.
Pat: You two already know too much about me.
Rosette: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let us crash at your place.
~
Mario: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Xylo: Next time you're working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex's house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Bryan: There were so many mixed messages in that I can't-
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*getting into the car*
Brandon: I'm driving.
Kit, out of view: Shotgun!
Ritchie, turning to face Kit: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Kit: WOAH-
Kit, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
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Brandon: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Kit: How am I supposed to know?
Ritchie: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Kit: *sighs*
Kit: You wouldn't be trapped.
~
Marshie: *Screams*
Bailey: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Blake: Should we do something?!
Michael, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
~
Puffy: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Ranboo: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Bad: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Skeppy: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Tubbo: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Nikki: I have emotional scars.
~
Puffy: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Ranboo: Okay, but what is updog?
Bad: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Skeppy: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Nikki: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Tubbo: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Puffy: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Skeppy: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Bad: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Ranboo: What's a henway??
Puffy: Oh, about five pounds.
~
Ray: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Inmo: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Ray: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Pyrite: Actually I did the math, Inmo would have $225, not $0.15.
Inmo: Fam I'm right here....
Reese: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Ray: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Reese: Sorry I only have a dollar
Ray: :(
Jay-Jay: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Inmo would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Reese: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Jay-Jay: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Ruth: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Jay-Jay: Apply juice to what
Pyrite: Directly to the forehead
Inmo: Great chat everyone
~
'Can I copy the homework?'
Inmo: I can help you with it!
Pyrite: Yeah, sure.
Reese: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Ruth: lol nope.
Jay-Jay: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Ray: *Read 5:55pm*
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Richard: Must be hard not being able to laugh.
Don: I do have a sense of humor you know.
Richard: I've never heard you laugh before.
Don: I've never heard you say anything funny.
~
Don: You love me, right, Richard?
Richard: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.
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*trying to con some random guy*
Jacqueline: Um, Xylo, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Xylo: We need money!
Jacqueline: You're scamming him?
Xylo: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Jacqueline: What?! No way!
Xylo: Why not? We already stole Legs!
Legs: Hey guys.
Jacqueline: No, we didn't. Legs can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!
Legs: I wanna steal.
~
Jacqueline, whispering to Xylo, who's on the phone with Legs: Ask them something!
Xylo: How are you feeling?
Legs: Fine.
Jacqueline: Something personal!
Xylo: At what age did you first get your period?
~
Vermin: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Lucas: 'Prettiest Smile'
Austin: 'Nicest Personality'
David: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Bella: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
~
Bella: Is having a penis fun?
Lucas: It has its ups and downs.
David: Sometimes it's a little hard.
Vermin: It's a pain in the ass.
Austin: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.
~
Rosette: Dammit, Liberty!
Liberty: What?! It wasn't me!
Rosette: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Destiny!
Destiny: Not me either.
Rosette: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Catra: *whistles*
~
Liberty: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Rosette: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Destiny: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
Catra: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Rosette: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
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Adora: Where are you going?
Catra: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide on the way there
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Adora: Is something burning?
Catra: Just my love for you.
Adora: Catra, the toaster is on fire.
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Jakey: Nothing in life is free.
Devin: Love is free!
Kayla: Adventure is free.
Bri: Knowledge is free.
Yuki: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
~
Jakey: Favorite horror movie?
Yuki: It.
Kayla: Saw.
Bri: Annabelle.
Devin: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics.
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Pat: Anyone d-
Bryan: Depressed?
Mario: Drained?
Mitch: Dumb?
Jon: Disliked?
Pat: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
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Pat: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Bryan: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Jon: Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Mario: Forks are Stabby Grabbies.
Bryan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Jon: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Mario: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
Mitch, annoyed: You are all disappointments.