"Murderer!"
"Terrible!"
"Unworthy!"
"Psychopath!"
"You don't deserve them!"
These words scream in my head. A never ending cycle. after all these years of them screaming in my head. I came to learn something.
They're right.
Every single word.
Most of all, I don't deserve Matthew or Jasper Lance. I never have and never will. They deserve someone right in the head. Not a psychopath.
My lungs stops taking in air. My lungs hurts but I don't care, I don't panic. The voices get louder as my lungs stop working.
Then I do something I never thought I'll do. I let go.
Black dots surrounds my vision, as the door to the bedroom is thrusted open. Turning my head, I see the panic look on Matthew's face.
I smile at him as the burning in my lungs start. With the panic look still on his face, he runs over to me.
Holding my nose, he presses his lips to mine and pushes air in my lungs. As air fills them, the burning stops.
I take deep breathes of air, filling my lungs to the brim. When I'm breathing right again, I turn my face to a crying Matthew.
I look at him, tears in my eyes. "I don't deserve you or Jasper Lance."
He looks at me with pain and determination. Picking me up bribal style, I'm carried down to the medical ward.
The doctor checks me. When she's done, she looks at me with sadness. "Luna had a panic attack. That is what stopped his breathing."
"Thank you doctor." Then Matthew picks me up and carries me back to our bedroom.
Setting me on the bed, he goes to the closet, pulling out his leather box, setting up.
"Undress!" he orders of me in a scary voice.
Trembling, I take off my clothes until I'm completely naked.
"Stay standing!" I remain standing on trembling legs. My knees hitting together. I look down at myself. My stomach has flap. My six pack gone.
"Disgusting." I whisper to myself. "How is he still attracted to me."
I hear something drop, before I'm taking in Matthew's arms. He picks me up, caring me to the mirror in our room.
He sets me on my feet. Standing behind me. He puts his hands on my stomach. I want to remove his hands.
"You see this?" He ask as he kisses my neck.
"This is were our baby grew." His hands rub my stomach.
"This makes you even more beautiful." His hand moves to my sides.
"Being conpletely honest, you're even more sexy since having our son." His eyes connects with mine through the mirror.
Turning me around, he wraps his arms around my naked body. His hands moves down my side to my hip. Taking my hips in his hands. He wraps my legs around him.
I moan as my dick fictions against his stomach. Matthew takes my lips with his, carrying me to the bed. He lays me down.
I watch as he steps back and grabs Spreader Bars. It's leather with a metal bar that attaches the leather straps together.
Smirking, he puts the straps on my thighs. My legs are spread apart. Flipping me gently on my back.
He looks at me with black eyes. Anger and love in them. I don't know what the anger is but it kind of scares me. He's never been angry with me.
He straddles my waist. His claws come out. Running them down my chest, it's oddly sexy, making my cock twitch.
"Why do you think you don't deserve our son or I?" he growls out his canines coming out. His wolf is talking now.
"I don't." My voice is shaky, his wolf only comes out when he's feeling extreme emotions.
"Why would you think that?" He snarls in my face, saliva dripping on my face.
I feel tears fall from my eyes as I look at his gorgeous angy face. I know we're mates, But doesn't he see I'm not worthy of him or our son?
I'm too broken!
I'm a psychopath!
A murderer!
A terrible father!
A terrible mate!
I close my eyes as tears stream down my face as I scream those words spoken in my mind.
A gasp from Matthew's mouth fills the room. Cracking my eyes open, I see tears in his eyes, as they turn back to their gorgeous color.
"Do you really think that?" Matthew's voice is thick and hard.
I open my eyes all the way to look him in the eyes. His eyes holds so much emotions. Love, surprise, heartbreak, and many more emotions.
"Yes!" I croak out.
"Then I have to change your mind." Matthew surprises me by kissing me hard. He puts so much love into the kiss.
Not being able to stop from responding, I move my lips with his.
I feel his hands move down my body, leaving a heated trail. I can't stop the moan that escapes my throat, Matthew lips catches it.
Matthew's hands takes my wrist in his grip. Bringing them over my head, he takes my wrists in one hand.
Dragging his over hand back down my body, he gets to my hard on. Taking it in his grasp, he jerks it in time with his lips.
Pulling away from my lips, he kisses down my chest and pass my naval, getting to that one spot I want him to take in his mouth.
His mouth hovers over my cock. I thrust my hips up, wanting his wet mouth on me.
He slaps my thigh. "A warning."
It stings but in a pleasurable way. I stop my hips from thrusting up, it hurts but I stop.
To torture me, he takes his tongue and licks from my hole to the tip of my shaft. His tongue on my shaft has me moaning like a pornstar.
Getting from between my restrained thighs. Matthew walks over to his leather box, pulling out a butt and penis plugs.
Walking seductively to me, he starts stripping his clothes. When he takes off his boxers, his big and gorgeous erection springs free.
He stands by the bed, stroking himself as he looks at me. "We should try a paddle on that gorgeous ass of yours."
He steps towards his box, bending down, he pulls out a leather paddle, putting the plugs back. Walking back to the bed, he turns me on my stomach.
"What are you?" Matthew whispers in my ear. Confused at his antics, I speak.
"I'm a terrible person." I hear as the paddle swings through the air on my ass. The paddle touching my bare skin stings.
"What are you?" He ask again. So he's going to spank me until I believe what he believes.
"A terrible father!" I scream at him. Another swing of the paddle.
"What are you!" He growls out.
"Unworthy of you or our son!" A swing harder than the last hits my ass.
In a flash I'm flipped over on my stomach. Matthew slams into me in anger. I scream in pain and pleasure. He thrust hard and fast.
"You're more than worthy!" He pounds me with each word.
"You're worthy of being my mate and especially our son." I'm piston with each word, harder and faster.
The pain is pleasurable. Having me moaning louder than ever to where I'm sure the two packs can hear me.
"Do you hear me?" He fist my hair, pulling my head back so he can kiss my neck.
"You're nothing of those!" Matthew stops and takes off the Spreader Bar. Throwing it behind him, he takes my legs and puts them on his shoulders, bending me in half.
Matthew gets deeper inside me, hitting my prostate. Our moans fills the room. The harder he thrust inside of me the harder our bed hits the walls.
My walls clench around his steel rod, milking him. He takes my cock in his hand and strokes me in time with pounding.
I cum the next time he hits my prostate. My jizz hits me in the chin. Matthew keeps his pounding, as he licks the cum off my chin.
Then he cums inside of me, deep, deep inside my ass. It feels so good as he cums inside of me that I cum again.
As I come down from my high, I'm breathing heavily. Matthew pulls out with a pop, and falls beside me. Taking me in his chest.
"You have to know that you deserve our son and our mating. You're worthy, and an amazing father. I see you with Jasper lance." I lay on his chest as he speaks to me.
"You're loving with him. Your eyes light up. There's always a smile on your face." A smile grace his lips.
"A loving father and mate is what you are. You love and take care of our little family. Without you, we are nothing." Tears slide down my face as I listen to him.
"Thank you!" I kiss his lips putting everything in the kiss.
Pulling away, Matthew wipes my tears. "I love you."
"As I love you."