As a person, Ellie had a lot of admirable qualities, but her weak poker face wasn't one of them. Although, the moment we saw each other again, I'd never been more thankful for that part of her. Every blush of her cheeks, aversion of her beautiful doe-shaped eyes, shy smile, and flustered word she said stroked my ego and encouraged me further that she still had feelings for me.
Being a college football player, at least at UCD, was similar to when I played in high school. Even with the smaller scale, homegrown-feeling to the Aggies' program, the amount of attention I received as a byproduct from football was the same. My records, my wins, and my performance measures all spoke for themselves and definitely attracted attention to me.
Once I transferred to UW, a new spotlight shone on me. Harper herself alluded to this in her brief phone conversation. Sports Illustrated listed me within the top ten, number four to be exact, college football players to keep an eye on this season. Number one, not coincidentally, was Ellie's brother Jake Harrision because this year he was USC's starting quarterback but SI labelled me as the 'wild card player.'
Better than the Seventeen's list.
In a weird and embarrassing attention-grabber, last year Seventeen magazine ranked me at number one in their article, 'Top Ten Hottest College Football Players.' I had no idea how she'd come across this list but I found out from, of all people, Mom. Even worse, she'd called me while I dressed in the locker room right after the first week of the Aggies' camp had ended.
"Logan, you're a hottie-patottie!" She'd exclaimed loudly into the phone.
"I'm what, Mom?" I switched down my phone volume because knowing Mom, this inevitably embarrassed me.
"You made a top ten list of Hottest College Football players!"
"Uhh, okay?" My eyebrows lifted and I sat down on the nearest bench. "From EPSN or something?"
"No!" She chirped loudly. "Seventeen Magazine!"
My eyes scanned around the locker room for any sign that this was a prank.
What the fuck?
As if Mom's announcement wasn't enough, she was determined to further gouge into my torment. "I'm going to send it to everyone I know! Oh, it's not a very flattering picture... You're making a weird face. But I'll send it anyway."
Great. This is completely embarrassing.
"Mom, please don't," I groaned right when her notification hit my phone.
Curiosity won me over and I opened her link, then quickly closed my eyes. Of all possibilities, the magazine had used a photo that I recognized immediately and still hoped hadn't followed me from UCD to UW. The accompanied text was mortifying on its own.
'Hottie Logan Hightower at UC-Davis gives us a peak at why he's No. 1! LT won the Big Sky title his freshman year and campus rumors say that there's a brain under number ten's helmet! With his piercing blue eyes, stick a fork in us, we're done for!'
The more I reread the article, the more a sense of dread grew inside me until my index finger and thumb pinched the bridge of my nose.
I'm going to get so much shit for this.
The accompanying picture had been taken by and posted in The Aggie, UCD's student newspaper, for a post-game recap during my sophomore year. At one point during the annual 'Battle for the Golden Horseshoe' game against Cal Poly, which was a big deal to UCD, a piece of field grass had gotten smashed into my helmet's cage. Dirt rained into my left eye when I removed the helmet and, for lack of anything better, I'd grabbed the inside edge of my Aggies' uniform shirt and wiped at it.
While I clawed my eye out, one of the trainers came over and rinsed my eye out with a water bottle. A nearby Aggie photographer grabbed a photo of my soaked, and exposed, abs. My face cringed but, because of my eye, I looked like I'd winked at the camera.
I spent the rest of last season with a blown-up version of that picture taped up on the wall above my UCD football locker for ridicule from the guys. Worse, the attention from girls on campus exploded into a very uncomfortable level. I'd never had any shortage of confidence in my game and I knew I was a good-looking guy, but the attention was completely superficial.
Now that I was here at UW, I only cared about one girl's eyes on me. Once I saw how flustered Ellie got, I made pushing that envelope a new personal goal. I'd originally planned to go slowly but my brain latched onto the words 'wet dream' Harper eluded to Ellie. While that picture annoyed the shit out of me, the idea it'd done something for Ellie was a huge ego stroke.
On the other hand, I'm in trouble if she turns things around and comes onto me.
While on the outside I probably looked normal, inside I fought an internal battle against my own suggestive mind. She was still tiny but Ellie had gotten even more attractive over the past two years. One quick look from her dark chocolate colored eyes, especially when she held a fucking dildo in her hands, was enough that a pile of hormones I'd buried for the last two years was unearthed.
And not with a shovel but a fucking excavator.
Possible side effect of only using my hand.
My personal spank bank vault of Ellie also did me zero favors once I saw her in person. She wore almost no makeup but even sweaty from moving boxes, she had a subtle glow to her skin. She still dragged her full, lower lip in between her teeth when she was uncomfortable, which drew my attention to her mouth every fucking time.
Since none of these thoughts were appropriate around her parents, I assigned myself mover tasks, refocused my 'energy' while I carried boxes up the stairs, then opted to stay overnight at Wes and Charlie's. Ellie had relatively little stuff, although she'd left her bed in her parents' car, but I definitely noticed that the majority of her boxes ended up piled high in the tiny hallway of a kitchen.
Right when I stepped over a pile of boxes on the kitchen floor and towards the bathroom, Ellie's Mom stopped me.
"I think that's everything downstairs except Ellie's bed." I smiled tightly at Mrs. Harrison. "I'm going to stay with Wes and Charlie tonight, you and Mr. Harrison can have mine."
"That's very considerate," she replied with a smile. "See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "Wes and I have a team event tomorrow at eight am. It'll take about four hours but tell Ellie she can put her stuff wherever she wants. There's not much space but I told her the bottom three dresser drawers and half the closet are empty."
"Thanks for your help." She returned my smile with one that hadn't travelled up to her eyes. Instead, she looked curiously, almost sadly at me, then added, "May I speak with you before you go?"
"Yeah." I grabbed my toothbrush, paste, and razor from the bathroom, then stepped out into the hallway. "What's up?"
"We'll probably go out for lunch tomorrow," she started but hesitated for a moment. "Dale might have a few inappropriate words but you're welcome to join us."
"Whatever Ellie wants, I'm cool with," I replied honestly and leaned one shoulder into the hallway wall. "If she wants to go with just you two then I get it. I don't know if Ellie still has my number but it hasn't changed."
She just nodded silently. After another uncomfortable pause, Mrs. Harrison blurted out the last thing I'd expected her to say. "Listen Logan I just... I'm glad you're here."
Since her words stunned me senseless, I just gaped at her. My last exchange with the Harrisons involved them wanting Ellie locked up in her room and one chaperoned date each weekend with me. With how open my eyes stretched, I was surprised they hadn't fallen out of my head.
Did I just hear that?
"Ellie's Dad might never admit it but..." She paused for a moment then darted her eyes towards our closed apartment door. "I saw the roommate change forms UW sent but never told Ellie."
Guess some things don't change, but why is she telling me and not Ellie?
I frowned slightly since I wasn't sure where she headed with this, but fortunately she continued, "Two years ago Ellie wasn't in a good place and we... didn't handle things very well."
No shit.
My arms crossed over my chest and my forehead tensed further as my frown deepened but I had enough sense that I kept my mouth shut.
One of her hands clasped around the other and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Ellie's come a long way but after... everything, she's still... guarded. I realize now that we misjudged you and I'm sorry for that. I'd always hoped that you'd have stepped back into her life because she seemed... happier then."
The hurt I'd felt after Ellie had broken up with me had also resurfaced and twisted a knot in my chest when I looked at her, which I hadn't expected. I couldn't understand why or even justify to myself how my pain was quickly outweighed by my other feelings for her, but it happened. I knew she'd fallen pretty far into depression but, absent from her life, hadn't known how bad things had really gotten.
The weight of Ellie's Mom's words, plus ones she hadn't said, combined in my brain with Wes and Charlie's earlier warnings. Together, they stirred a sense of uncertainty in me and I didn't like feeling it one bit. "I tried to do what she asked, give her space."
"And I think she regrets that," she replied with a heaviness in her eyes. "I know Ellie doesn't need, or even want, our permission but if something does happen... That's not the worst that could happen."
"I..." I paused since I wanted to say the right thing here but found her overstepping more than a little condescending. "Respect that, thanks. Everything's in Ellie's court, I just want her to be happy."
Technically happy and with me, but let's leave that part out for now.
"Thanks Logan..." The tension finally released from her face and she smiled. "See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," I nodded slightly then headed down the hall to Wes' apartment. The later hour, combined with the weight of what had and hadn't happened today caught up to me, and I passed out as soon as Charlie directed me onto their sofa.
The next morning felt weird when I woke up in my old apartment but as a couch guest. I dressed, ate the last bowl of Wes' cereal for payback because he'd eaten mine, and got ready. Right when I put my bowl in their sink, Wes stepped into the kitchen in a ridiculous golf outfit and bag of clubs over his shoulder.
"Ready?" He ignored my raised eyebrows at the bright pink shirt and coordinated plaid pants - not shorts, pants.
At least I'll know where he is on the course.
"Not as much as you," I chuckled and we headed out. I debated stopping by and greeting Ellie but figured we had more time to talk by ourselves than the limited time she had while her parents were here.
Forty minutes later, Pepto-pink Wes and I were separated at the Washington National Golf course. The wide and crisp morning open air hit me right when I stepped out of my truck. The clear-blue sky, slightly cooler and thankfully less humid weather, gigantic evergreen trees around the natural course, and bright sun overhead felt like the perfect break from our relentless camp days in Huskies Stadium. While practices in the seventy-seven thousand capacity stadium blew my mind, the idea that I played in front of that large of a crowd had me incredibly stoked.
If I play. It's Emmitt's show to start the season.
"You and Ellie Harrison? Living together?" Emmitt cocked an eyebrow at me and looked at me with more interest in his eyes than I was comfortable with. "Wes just told me, is that true?"
As I dropped my right shoulder down and powered my arms forwards, I swung my arms straight through my tee-off. After a satisfying whack, I watched as my golf ball arched high into the air, then promptly pulled to the right. Fortunately, our hole had a thirty degree curve in that direction, and my ball landed a few feet from the green.
Almost looks like I did that on purpose.
"I am," I admitted with a grin I couldn't have held back if my life depended on it. Thankfully, Emmitt saw nothing because I doubled over and plucked my tee off the turf at my feet.
"How'd you win that lottery?" Emmitt paused near me on his way to the tee-off.
My shoulders shrugged because there was no chance I hashed out my and Ellie's history with Emmitt. I'd only known the guy for four weeks and knew his exact angle. The guy was less than discreet about how he wasn't short on company.
While I was better, Emmitt was a good, solid, and safe quarterback. Personally though, he was a complete tool. Just going off the locker room shit-talk, he was a total player. Thankfully he hadn't said too much yet but everyone knew he only viewed Ellie as a conquest.
Not on my watch, at least not with my girl.
"Charlie," I finally offered. "She was okay living with Wes and I was okay not third-wheeling their sex life."
"Fucking cock-blocker Montgomery," he muttered. "Only ones worse are Wes or D-Train."
"I don't know about Darrius..." My eyes drifted to the next hole over to the 6ft6, 360-pound lineman who currently whacked his club in a sandpit the same way that Mom killed cockroaches, except she used a baseball bat.
"...but Charlie didn't need much convincing." I gave him a grin that was probably smug and propped my driver on the fairway grass.
Only two walk-in's were needed before my and Wes' apartment situation became awkward. The first time Charlie was hinged over our dining room table. Fortunately, the table was Wes' so it stayed there but my brain was seared with the mental image of his bare ass as he pounded into her. The second time they were in Wes' bed, which normally would've been completely private but the glass doors showed me everything before I realized what I looked at. Charlie hadn't seen me but Wes sure had by the time I'd turned around and left.
"And how do you know Ellie doesn't have a boyfriend?" I prompted Emmitt, who looked at me like he hadn't believed a word I'd said.
Honestly, at this point I had no idea myself if Ellie had a boyfriend. I assumed she didn't, more like prayed she didn't, but we hadn't had any time to talk between the two of us. I'd planned to talk to her as soon as her parents left, preferably before classes started tomorrow.
The sooner, the better.
I needed no stretch of my imagination to know that Ellie was too smart for a fuck-boy like Emmitt. Like he'd read my mind, Emmitt proved my point with his next words.
"Oh, I don't want to be her boyfriend," he confessed with a lazy half-grin. "I just want to bury myself deep into that girl as many times as she'll let me. I bet her tiny pussy is so tight, I-"
"I get the idea." I clenched my jaw tight and internally debated if my golf club was better used if I smashed against his head. "Ellie's not that type of girl."
"Don't I know it," he admitted. "Fuck knows I've tried but she's colder than frostbite."
Unless Emmitt knew something I didn't, he couldn't have been more wrong about Ellie.
She's the kindest, biggest-hearted person I've ever known. She's... perfect.
Mentally, I poured out my heart's confessions like word vomit. Physically though, I just shrugged my shoulders. As Emmitt teed off, I pressed my palm into my driver's shaft and wondered about the likelihood that Ellie denied me love as a friend or roommate if we didn't get back together.
From one angle, our relationship went down in flames. I'd tossed the gasoline onto it, and Ellie doused it out with an extinguisher.
"Shit, bro, you know something I don't?" Emmitt's smug face grinned wickedly across the fairway at me. "Is she seeing anyone now?"
"Like that'd stop you," I grumbled in a tone that was more bitter than I preferred.
"True." He walked over to me, stuck his driver back in his bag, and grabbed a Gatorade from the golf cart's cup holder.
We stood and watched as the rest of our foursome, two older guys who were apparently big alumni donors, set up and teed off. By their slow walking speed and laughs at their shanked opening drives, they clearly enjoyed drinking more this early Sunday morning than the actual hitting golf balls part. That suited me just fine because I really was a terrible golfer and Emmitt was only marginally better.
"Can't help it." Emmitt's relentless comments about Ellie grabbed my attention as we sat down shoulder-to-shoulder in the cart. "She's got that sweet, innocent, vir-"
"She's perfectly fine just the way she is," I cut him off because my golf club started to share the same sentiments and wanted his head smashed in. My pride hurt more than I wanted when I admitted those words, but only slightly less than when I heard Emmitt 'compliment' Ellie.
"What's Ellie to you?" He had a point when he raised one eyebrow at me, then asked, "If she's so perfect, then why might she be single?"
I stiffened and froze as I thought of an answer to his question. There was no way I'd reveal all of the truth, so I threw out the generic, "We dated senior year of high school, until everything got fucked up."
"Didn't peg you for a cheater, golden boy." Now both Emmitt's eyebrows raised at me.
"I'm not." I sat down in the golf cart, held my driver between my legs with one hand and grabbed the support rail with the other, and leaned my large frame slightly outside.
But I still broke her trust.
"So... she's single." He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and screwed the Gatorade lid
back on.
"Either way, she's not available." I narrowed my eyes in warning and put a death grip around the club in my hand. "Don't fuck her over."
"Not you too, bro." Emmitt groaned and rolled his eyes. "Like I told Wes, I'm totally consensual but she's a big enough girl to make her own decisions."
He grinned to himself, then tossed out casually. "I'm a patient guy. The right opportunity will come around. And when the timing's right, Ellie will want me just as much as every other girl in my bed and leave just as satisfied."
While he gunned the cart down the path, my head jerked back and annoyance flared up inside me. Emmitt was right in how whoever Ellie dated was her business but, especially after what he just said combined with my ridiculous attraction to her again, there was no way in hell I'd back down.
While I'd planned to move slowly, build up our trust and then tell her everything, outside pressure on Ellie definitely wasn't the kind of interference I wanted.
Looks like I'll have to make a move sooner than later.