Hey There Demons, It's Me, Ya...

By GabrielXander

202K 13K 12.5K

[KnY/Obey Me x Reader] How many times is the Universe going to screw you over? Honestly, since you got your a... More

Important Announcement
1: What The Hell? I'm In Hell!
3: Unfortunate Bonding Moments
4: Author Here: Going Mental. Wish Me Luck.
5: Kids And Their Dang Shenanigans
6: Himbo Beel Back At It Again
7: Oh, Lore? Also, You Cry Again
8: The Simps Of All Simps
9: I Reached Back Like A Pimp And Slapped The Hoe
10: Nothing Happens
11: Thank You, Exposition!
12: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
13: DILF Lucifer And His Gremlin Kids
14: Heinous Crimes And Sleepovers (Maybe Not The First Part)
15: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time
16: Decent Times Until Death Approaches
17: The Author Stalls The Action For Suspense Or Something
18: I Can't Mansplain, Manipulate, Man-Whore My Way Out Of This One, Boys
19: A Lot Of Things Went Wrong
20: Nothing Happens Part 2
21: Coffee Shop Au
22: Too Much Happens In This Chapter
23: Wait, What?
24: Being Unwanted
25: This Isn't Goodbye
26: Maybe Simeon Ain't So Bad After All
27: Simp Nation, Rise Up!
28: You Join The Loser Club
29: Trapped In The Closet
30: Simp Luci
31: Satan Is So Cute
32: Condoms And Sex At The Olympics
33: Only Break One Law At A Time
34: There Are So Many Death Flags
35: Oh No His Inside Stuff Is All Over The Floor!
36: Love You But Can't Have You
37: Don't Blame Me, You Cuck!
38: You Love It When Men (Sometimes)
39: Don't Be Scared, Don't Be Shy, Come On In, The Water's Fine
40: Author Was Shit-Faced While Publishing This Chapter
SORRY FOR THE BAIT IT'S STILL IMPORTANT THOUGH

2: The Biggest Cry Baby

7.9K 447 953
By GabrielXander

☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆

"And that's the story of how I lost my driver's license," You puff your cheeks, "To be fair, the manager and employee shouldn't have been fucking in the kitchen after hours, anyway. But it was [F/n]'s fault I was stabbed again, so maybe running over his left foot was called for."

Lucifer had an exhausted expression. You spoke the entire walk to the HoL about your crazy adventure about a damn McDonald's break-in.

He is having second thoughts about this. Maybe he can convince Diavolo to move you to Purgatory Hall?

"Thank you for allowing me to stay here, by the way," You smile softly, "Life hasn't been... the nicest to me recently. So your kindness is going a long way for me, I really appreciate this and you."

...

Well, you're not that intolerable.

"Don't mention it," Lucifer nods, opening the door for you, "I am simply following Diavolo's orders. Whatever he wants, I make sure it happens."

You mutter out a thanks as you walk in, "He's very lucky to have you."

He won't admit it-not even to himself-but that boosted his ego.

"Nice place," You comment, dying on the inside for being reminded that you're fucking poor, "Is my room on the first floor?"

"It is on the second floor, actually," Lucifer jerks his head for you to follow him, "It's right on top of the humans room. His name is Yuki."

His? So the main character in this Universe is a dude. That's cool, you can get behind that. Your only complaint? You were hoping to have another girl to talk to while being here.

"Wow, how many brothers are there, anyway?"

"I have six brothers, and I am the oldest," Lucifer says as you both go up the stairs, "The Avatar of Pride."

"Ooh, seven brothers, Seven Deadly Sins. That's very classy," You whistle, "But uh, 8 dudes under one roof? You got a Sausage Party going on here, man."

Lucifer stares at you with disbelief. Did you really just say that? Did you have no filter?

"This is a pretty big house," You hum softly, "Does it have like uh... a private gym or something?"

"No. However, the sixth oldest, Beelzebub-who is the Avatar of Gluttony-he often works out at a gym not too far from here. You can ask him about it when you meet him."

Ah chetos.

"Ah, well. Beggars can't be choosers." You shrug, "I can do training here, then."

Training? As opposed to working out? Lucifer decides not to comment on that, figuring it has something to do with your life as a Demon Slayer.

"What's wrong with going to a gym?"

"70% of my training is me swinging my sword everywhere. But back home, I used a practice, wooden sword to not hurt myself or others," You explain, "I don't want to scare anyone with it, or hurt them with my sword since I assume you demons can't regenerate limbs."

Ah.

"I see your point," Lucifer stops at a door, "Well, this is your room. Across is Leviathan's room. He is the third oldest, the Avatar of Envy."

"This room belongs to Satan, the Avatar of Wrath. He is the fourth oldest," Lucifer provides while pointing to the room on his right, then he points to the room on the left, "That is Mammon's room, the Avatar of Greed and the second oldest."

"The rooms next to Leviathan's belong to Asmodeus and Beelzebub. Asmodeus is the fifth oldest, Avatar of Lust." Lucifer says, "Any questions?"

He mentioned 7 brothers before, but only addressed 6 of them, not including himself. You know it's Belphegor, but you know not to bring him up.

"Nah, I'm good for now," You smile, "So uh, what's next?"

"I must fill out paperwork," He deadpans, "I must get you situated in a school schedule, and get you a school ID."

You hiss awkwardly, "Yike, that's a bummer. I'll see you later, then?"

Lucifer nods and starts to walk away, "I'll come get you once everyone is home so you can meet them."

"Right then."

That wasn't awkward at all.

You open the door to your room and are about to walk in, but Lucifer turns around and calls to you.

"By the way, [L/n]," Lucifer starts, "I'm going to match your school schedule with one of my brothers. That way he can look after you. The Devildom is no place for a human, whether you're a Demon Slayer or not."

Ah shit, you hope you get paired with Mammon and the Mc- his name is Yuki -since you much rather be in the comfort of another human.

You nod in acknowledgment, "Okay, thanks for letting me know."

You watch him walk away before you finally go inside your room, closing the door behind yourself. The room was pretty big, almost similar to how you remembered Yuki had his room in the game.

You walk to the bed with dark blue sheets, putting both backpacks down on the floor. You take the nirichin blade from your belt and lean it against the bed. You sit on the bed and sigh heavily.

You're so tired.

You're so... scared and alone.

Your eyes start to burn with the effort of trying to keep your tears in. It hurts to cry now, afterall, it's barely been a week since you've received the injury on your right eye.

You just wanted to go home, but now you're stuck in another world that wasn't yours with no way back. You don't share a mark with Sekido anymore, but you find yourself pulling back your left sleeve anyway.

Your eyes widen; the mark is back.

The mark was a cluster of spider lilies, covering half of your forearm. Though it wasn't a glowing cobalt color like it used to. But now it was a soft white, barely glowing against your arm.

Did that mean something?

Your nose scrunches up as involuntary tears run down your cheeks.

You didn't have time to be in a situation like this.

It took every cell in your being not to spontaneously burst into tears while you were with the demons. You kept thinking about Akaza.

You miss him so much.

You miss Kyojuro, you miss Tanjiro, you miss Uzui, you miss Gerik, you miss your other friends, you miss your dad and your siblings.

A broken sob forces its way out from between your lips, shoulders trembling as you try quieting yourself. You lay down and muffle your cries in the pillow.

You don't want to be here, you're so terrified. You don't want to be alone while you're grieving, but there's no one here for you.

The memory of Akaza dying in your arms stays fresh in your mind as you cry yourself to sleep.

————

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You groggily open your eyes, a raspy "come in" travels out of you.

Ugh, your head hurts. You sure cry a lot for someone who's not even that hydrated. You barely register the door opening when you sit up.

"Did I interrupt your nap?" Lucifer muses, closing the door behind himself.

"Sorry," You mumble, though it came out as a whisper, "I conked out immediately after you left."

"You slept for 4 hours, then."

You sigh heavily, "Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. On a different note, my brothers and Yuki are all gathered downstairs for dinner. Come join us." Lucifer invites, "This will also give you the chance to meet the brother who will take care of you."

You turn your head away from Lucifer, eyes watering up once again.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You clear your throat so you can speak louder, "I'm not, um... My social battery is drained for today."

Lucifer steps closer, "Is that all? Or is there something else you are not telling me?"

You start to chuckle, "So observant, Lucifer. I'm a bit... sad. So I need to be alone or else I'll spontaneously burst into tears."

You finally look at Lucifer. He looks surprised at your honesty.

"Sorry, I know that's a bummer to hear, but that's just how it is." You duck your head and try to subtly wipe your tears, "I should be okay tomorrow morning, but I know myself well enough to know that I shouldn't be socializing right now."

One question in the demon's mind: why didn't you lie? Or at least attempt to deny it? Of course, Lucifer would've gotten frustrated if you had lied, anyway. But you had no trouble expressing yourself, it almost made him jealous.

"I see," He nods awkwardly, "Well, it's no good to not eat. I will bring you-"

"-No, don't even worry about it." You wave your hand dismissively and offer a weak grin, "I'm just gonna sleep again, and I shouldn't fall asleep on a full stomach. But I'll be with you all tomorrow morning for breakfast."

"...Alright, if you say so." Lucifer turns around and opens your door, "Breakfast is served downstairs at 8A.M, and school begins at 8:30. I expect to see you there."

"Alright, goodnight, Lucifer."

"Goodnight, [L/n]."

Lucifer closes the door on his way out. So naturally you grab the pillow and smother your face in it, screaming bloody murder.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M IN A GLASS BOX OF EMOTIONS!!!!

HOW CAN THEY BE EATING A PACK OF SOUR PATCH KIDS AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!?!?

WHY HAS GOD FORSAKEN ME?!?!?!

I AM IN SPAIN BUT THE 'S' IS SILENT!!!!!!

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Oh shit!

You throw the pillow on the bed and jump to your feet.

"Oh fuck!"

You tripped over your backpack and hopped to the door. You lean against the wall and swing that bitch open.

"Oh..."

You awkwardly lean against the door frame while pulling your left sock up since you feel them slipping off your thighs. It was strange since you never had to worry about them slipping down, though you supposed that's because you slept with them on.

"Uh... hi!" You smile.

A demon with blonde hair and blue-green eyes (Satan, your mind supplies) had his hand up. He was probably ready to knock again.

"Are you okay...?" He asks hesitantly with an accent.

"Yeah, I just-I almost fell to my death just now," You wave dismissively then pull up your other sock, "I'm [L/n] [Y/n], you are...?"

Your injuries don't go unnoticed by Satan.

That burn and scars look painful, and he wonders what happened to you. Your right eye looks dull, maybe you're blind out of it? And those bandages wrapped around your neck, he thinks he can see blood seeping through.

Oh, shit. He's staring.

"Oh, um," Satan shakes his head, "My name is Satan, it's a pleasure to meet you, [L/n]."

You wonder why he's here, since you figured Lucifer would've told them all to leave you be after what you said.

"I was on my way to meet you, but then I heard you scream...?"

Oh, you know what? He probably went against Lucifer's orders to leave you alone just to be annoying to the eldest brother.

"Yeah, just a mid-life crisis," You laugh awkwardly, "You're the room on my..."

"On your left," Satan chuckles and points to your left, "Which is convenient since I'll be the one to watch after you."

Ah beans.

He continues, "Of course, I won't really be looking after you."

Figured.

"Why not?" You know why, but you'll humor him anyway.

"If there's an opportunity to piss off Lucifer, I'll always take it," Satan laughs softly.

His cute smile and cute laugh absolutely betrays his words and intentions.

"Ah, that's a bit unfair to me, isn't it?" That statement ran deeper for you than Satan will realize, "You don't like Lucifer?"

"Absolutely not," Satan's expression turns cold, making you flinch, "I despise him-"

Fitting, considering he's the Avatar of Wrath.

"-and everything he stands for. He wants me to watch some human? That's just insulting. How lowly does he think of me??"

"Thanks, that makes me feel so special, but-" You raise an eyebrow, "-isn't it a good thing he asked you and no one else? I mean, I would've taken it as a compliment."

Satan looks at you like you're crazy, "Oh? And why should I feel good that he asked me?"

"Because it means that he trusts you. He trusts you enough to take care of me," You cross your arms over your chest, wincing a bit when your left shoulder groans in pain, "From what I've gathered so far on his personality, he'll do anything to make sure this Diavolo guy looks good. And he won't take any risks because the results have to be absolute."

"So even if you two bump heads, after all this time, he still trusts you. So he must hold you in high regards." You look down and fiddle with your sleeves, shrugging your shoulders a bit, "But I can also be totally wrong. I'm just spitting out words from experience."

Ah, you might've overstepped your boundaries there. You won't be surprised if Satan starts to lash out on you for it. You two barely just met and you're already being a know-it-all.

"Hm..." Satan sighs and walks to his room, "I'll get you tomorrow morning for breakfast, [L/n]."

"Oh, okay..." You furrow your eyebrows, "Goodnight, Satan."

You can barely see the smile on his face, but you don't get a chance to be sure since he's already walking in his room.

...

You should change the bandages on your neck.

——

You sniff a bit grossly while walking down stairs.

They provided you with a grey sweatshirt and black shorts for sleep, but you figured you could wear it for training instead. So you're stuck with wearing only your undergarments with Gerik's-your haori tightly wrapped around yourself

You couldn't sleep. After changing and cleaning the wound (though you did a shitty job since you never did it alone before), you started to cry about your situation. If you couldn't have the comfort of another person, then you need to have the comfort of food.

Yep, you're going to stress eat.

Is it the healthiest coping mechanism? No.

Does that matter right now? Not even a little bit!

You're trying to be as quiet as you can while walking past Yuki's room since you haven't stopped crying. You wonder how deep in the timeline you're in. As in, if Yuki found out about Belphegor yet, and/or how many pacts he's made.

You shake your head to get rid of the thoughts as you open the door to the kitchen, sniffling again when you walk in.

The kitchen is bigger than you expected. You're relieved to see a familiar microwave and refrigerator, and hit with nostalgia when you see the kamado stove. It's very similar to the one in Kyojuro's Estate.

Kamado...

You start to cry in the fucking kitchen.

You miss Tanjiro so much. You miss everyone so fucking much. You do not want to be here-

"Are you crying?"

You snap your head up, eyes widening at the sight of a ginger demon munching on a pastry. You duck your head down and wipe your eyes.

"I-I um... I don't understand..." Wow, you haven't had to say that in a while.

"Oh, right. Lucifer said the new human couldn't speak Japanese," Beelzebub says to himself; his accent is kind of thick when he talks again, "Are you sad?"

Wow, straight to the point, huh?

"Yeah... I am," You chuckle dryly, "I'm um... I'm grieving right now and... I came to get some... some um... some comfort food."

Usually, when you overshare, people get uncomfortable and they'll want to leave. So you hope Beelzebub does the same.

Unfortunately, the Universe really said 'fuck you'.

Beelzebub puts a hand on your shoulder before slowly pulling you into an awkward hug. When you don't struggle or pull away, he tightens his arms around you a bit then packs your back.

"It's going to be okay." He whispers.

...

No.

It's not going to be okay.

You reciprocate the hug and start crying for the nth time since you've arrived.

It's not going to be okay.

Akira is dead. Gerik is dead. Akaza is dead. You are going to die. And everyone you have ever cared about, and everyone you have ever loved is going to die and you can't do anything about it.

You're so scared for what the future holds for your comrades, and you have never felt so alone in your entire life until this moment.

Beelzebub's hug is comforting, yes. But you still feel so... so lonely...

You try to stop crying as you pull away, wiping your face with your sleeve.

"Thank you..." You mutter, "Sorry about that. Recently, everything has been... overwhelming."

You smile for formalities despite wanting to do anything but smile, "My name is [L/n] [Y/n], the temporary human exchange student. You are?"

"I'm Beelzebub, the sixth eldest. The Avatar of Gluttony," As he's saying this, the man bites into a huge block of cheese (seriously, you'd need two hands to hold it), "How come you didn't come for dinner? Lucifer said you were asleep, but was it actually because you were sad?"

Precious boy.

"Yeah, you're really clever," You smile softy, "I wasn't ready to um, to be surrounded by so many people. But if they're all like you, then I have nothing to worry about."

"Oh, no. They're all terrible."

WOW OKAY!

You snort aggressively and slap a hand over your mouth. The man went straight for the fucking throats!

"Here, have some cheese."

You are absolutely fascinated.

You fucking love cheese.

(A/N: You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.)

You don't even care there's a huge bite missing, you reach for the block in his hand. You take it with both hands and look for an angle to take a bite.

"What kind of cheese is this?" You hum quietly before taking a bite.

When Beelzebub doesn't answer you, you look up to see what's wrong. He's purposely looking away from you, and his cheeks are red.

"What's wrong?" You ask through a mouthful of munster cheese.

His gaze flickers to your chest for a second, but one second is one hundred seconds in boob time.

"Um... clothes..."

You look down at yourself. Oh yeah, you forgot you're half naked with only your haori on your shoulders.

You're not too insecure or embarrassed, though. Being a Demon Slayer had made you a bit slimmer, and you have some abs now! Not only that...

You know you have amazing tits.

You shrug your shoulders and take another bite of cheese.

"You win some, you lose some, Beelzebub," You offer the cheese to Beelzebub, "Thanks for the cheese. That shit was bussin'."

"Oh, you-you're welcome," Beelzebub tries not to look as he takes the cheese, "And you can call me Beel."

"Thank you, Beel," You pat him on the arm and start turning around with the intent to leave the kitchen, "You were exactly what I needed to feel better. You were a lot of help."

Beelzebub furrows his brows, "Hm? But I didn't do anything special."

"You were being yourself, that's special enough on its own," You grin, "Goodnight, Beel."

"Goodnight, [L/n]..."

The Avatar of Gluttony watches you leave the kitchen with a slightly confused expression.

Was your neck wrapped in bandages...?

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