TW: Child violence
Nat wasn't paying attention anymore. She was lost in her own thoughts. She and the rest of the team sat at the conference table in the compound. Maria Hill was on the screen, doing a daily update.
We don't have any new information, but we're trying out best.
That's what they said every time, for the past week, and she couldn't handle it anymore. They were getting nowhere.
Nat stood up, silently leaving. Steve got up to go after her, but Clint stopped him.
"I'll go see what's wrong. Stay here in case there's more information."
Steve nodded, not wanting to argue. He knew there would be no more information. There never was. But Clint always knew best, and if Nat needed him right now, he didn't object.
Clint headed up to her room, which was open just a crack. He ended up knocking anyways, getting a rather harsh response from Nat on the other side, who failed to look up.
"Steve, I think I just want to be alone right now."
Clint poked his head in.
"Not, Steve." He gave a sympathetic smile, and she returned it with a frustrated expression.
"Steve, Clint, whatever. Doesn't change the fact that I'd like to think in peace."
Clint took a hazardous step towards her.
"You've been doing a lot of thinking lately, Tasha."
Nat flipped her legs around the side of the bed to face him.
"Well, Clint. If you haven't noticed..."
"Don't, Nat." He sat beside her, pulling her into his side.
"Don't what?"
"Blame this on yourself. This isn't your fault, and deep down I know that you know."
Nat had to fight away the tears.
"You don't understand. I was stupid to think that I could keep her safe. That Steve and I could raise her, that we could be a normal family. That I could be normal. But no matter how hard I try to forget my past in the Red Room, I'll always still just be the weapon they trained me to be. You know, Steve even proposed? I let those few months of happiness make me delusional. I let it distract me from the fact that I can't have a normal life." She squeezed her eyes shut, twisting the ring on her finger.
Clint just gave her shoulders a squeeze and let her continue.
"People put us in danger constantly, and by doing that, I put her life in danger. And the worst part is that we know this has something to do with the Red Room, so actually, it is my fault."
"Nat, you're not stupid for thinking that you want a family. All three of you deserve to be a family. And you will, as soon as we get Wanda back. We still don't know who took her, or why. But I know we'll get her back. This isn't your fault."
She let herself cry for the first time in a while, out of mental exhaustion and fear for her missing daughter. Clint just embraced her, letting her cry out all her tears.
"I've failed, Clint. I've failed her. She's probably so scared or hurt. Or worse." She sobbed into his chest. "And if we do get her, back, we'll have to start all over again. She'll have to learn to trust us all again. If this has anything to do with the Red room, she's going to be so mentally destroyed. They made me kill people at that age, Clint. Murder. Madame B used to make us dance until our feet bled, and handcuff us to our beds so we didn't kill each other or escape at night. She's going to go through all that."
"When she comes back, Nat. Don't think like that. You're thinking the worst. With the help of you, Steve, and all of us, she'll grow to trust again. You did."
"Clint, you don't understand!" She cried, "The reason I survived the Red Room mentally, is because I had nothing. It was the only life I knew, and I felt like I deserved it, like it was my destiny to be there. Wanda has had a glimpse at normalcy. Loving parents, friends, a home. Family. And now she has to endure all that. It's so much worse, Clint. So much worse." She sobbed. "She probably thinks I don't love her. Knowing her, she probably believes she deserves it. That I have failed her. And I can't live my life knowing that I put all that on her. This is my fault, and you cannot tell me otherwise."
The tears and pain in her face were enough to make Clint cry, too. He held his best friend close and silently, at a loss for words. She was so stubborn.
But he did know one thing.
He pulled her away to stare directly into her eyes with such determination Nat actually felt a glimpse of hope.
"We will find her Nat. We won't stop until we do. I can promise you this."
...
Smash.
The update from S.H.I.E.L.D. had ended almost fifteen minutes ago, and Steve made no move to get up and leave. Instead, since no one was around, he let all his grief and anger out.
It actually made him feel better. He tried his best to stay strong for Nat. But he could only do so much.
Steve threw his cup across the room, and it smashed into a million different pieces. He sank to the ground, hiding his head between his knees.
His daughter. Not even in spirit anymore. Wanda was legally his daughter, they went to court last month, not that it even made a difference. He still loved the child just the same. She had grown on him. Not that he didn't love her from day one, because he did, but something about having a kid call you 'daddy' just made the attachment stronger. Once that happened, he was locked in. And he wouldn't have had it any other way.
And now she was gone. It has been the worst week of his entire life. They had no idea where she was. S.H.I.E.L.D had no idea where she was. The worst part was, they didn't even know if she was alive.
Stop, Steve. Stop thinking the worse.
He could feel the presence of someone come and sit silently beside him, but he didn't have the energy or motivation to actually meet their eyes. The presence was comforting, nonetheless.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Steve, hey, man."
It was Sam. Leave it to Sam to always come at the worst times with the best intentions.
"Steve, it's okay, we're gonna find her. Don't worry, we won't stop until we do."
His voice sounded so concerned that it almost made Steve feel better.
He lifted his head, instead, placing it in his hands.
"I hope you're right, Sam. I really hope you're right."
...
Wanda didn't know what time of the day it was, but she must've been sleeping because the first thing she remembered the next day was being kicked back into consciousness by someone new.
A woman. A young one, to be exact. She had lightly kicked the girl's back to awaken her, and Wanda slowly rose, backing into the corner. Her eyes lit up, but the woman had raised her hand, the other one holding a cup of brown sludge, to show she had no weapons.
"I didn't come here to hurt you,
девочка."
Wanda stared at the woman with wide eyes, taking a minute to read her face. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and her young face looked almost emotionless. A faded scar sat below her left cheek, drawing attention to her eyes. Her eyes, they were different than the others here. Despite the strictness she tried to display, Wanda thought they looked different. Softer, maybe? She didn't really know.
"Here, drink this." The woman's hand shot out rather abruptly, holding the brown liquid in front of Wanda.
Wanda backed away. She didn't want it. Her stomach ached for something to eat, but she had pretty much held off until now, only eating enough to keep her going.
"It wasn't a suggestion, it was a demand. It's just a protein shake. Dmitry told me you haven't eaten much."
"Why do you care, anyway? You probably want me to die."
"To be honest, I don't care. I have been given orders to give you this, then bring you into the empty room next door to train you. It's bigger."
The protein shake tasted like nothing as it went down her throat, and it threatened to come back up when the woman spoke the last sentence.
"T-Train me?" She whispered, her eyes glowing red."
"Da, and if you try any of that witchcraft on me on the way there, I have been instructed to put a bullet in that head of yours. So, you will listen, okay?"
"Da." Wanda studied the woman. She couldn't have been more than twenty-five years old, at the most. She tried to act intimidating, and she was, but for some reason, Wanda wasn't afraid of her.
"What is your name?" Wanda asked her. It was the first time she had spoken voluntarily, instead of answering a question.
"Yelena. Yelena Belova." She clasped a pair of handcuffs around Wanda's already raw wrists.
"And you are Wanda Maximoff, da?"
She nodded. She technically had three last names now. Maximoff, Romanov, and Rogers. But Yelena didn't need to know that.
She just nodded back.
"Let's go. And keep up." She dragged her out of the cell.
The room they went to, which Yelena had called 'тренировочная комната,' was really just a bigger copy of the room Wanda had been staying in. The walls, floors, and ceilings were concrete, and other than that, it was empty.
Wanda didn't know what was in that drink, but it definitely wasn't just a protein shake, and it was starting to freak her out. She instantly felt all the aching muscles, and the dull pain from the bullet wound, go away. She knew what that meant. She was drugged up on pain medicine. She had experienced it at Hydra. They wanted to truly see what Wanda could do. When she wasn't shot or in pain.
Wanda stopped dead in her tracks, her hands glowing red.
"You lied. It wasn't a protein shake, it was pain medicine or something."
"I don't know, девочка. I was just told it was a protein shake for nutrients and was given instructions for you to drink it before your first training lesson."
Yelena pulled her arm, and she was forced to continue to move.
"Listen, девочка. I don't know your story, or why you're here. Dmitry has told me you are a witch, and that you are powerful. He has instructed me to train you and give you lessons on fighting."
"I'm not a witch!" Wanda yelled back. Not only did her hands and eyes glow, but the crown made of her magic started to form around her head.
Yelena just stared.
"That right there proves you are wrong."
Wanda ignored her.
"So, what do you mean by training. Are you going to make me lift metal crates or something?"
Yelena laughed. She tried so hard to be intimidating.
"I don't know what kind of 'training' you did with the Avengers, but I would like to see the full capacity of your powers. Actually, Dmitry does. So, fight me."
Wanda's stomach dropped.
"Fight you?"
"Did I stutter?"
"But I could kill you."
"I highly doubt that. And even if so, do you think Dmitry cares?"
"You're turning me into a monster!" Wanda yelled. She had full-on expected Yelena to yell something back, but she didn't. Instead, her eyes fixated on nothing, and her expression became blank, only for a moment.
Eight-year-old Yelena stood in front of an older woman. She forgot her name, Madame something, but she was mean. Making her fight another girl much younger than her to the death. Turning her into a monster. A killer.
It took a moment for Yelena to regain awareness.
What was happening?
Even Wanda looked confused, and Yelena just shook her head, clearing the image of a younger self right where Wanda was standing.
"Okay, stop standing around. Come at me."
But Wanda failed to make the first move, so Yelena came running at her, pulling a knife out of her pocket.
Wanda flung to the side, using her magic to guide the knife out of Yelena's hand, and shot it across the floor.
Her hands shot forward, pinning the older woman to the opposite wall out of fear. A tear escaped her eye, and she was breathing hard. Panic ran through her mind.
Yelena, no, Dmitry, was turning her back into the monster Hydra had wanted her so badly to be. A weapon of destruction.
She let Yelena down, begging her to stop, but Yelena didn't quit. She came running at her again, this time with no weapons. Yelena ended up sweep kicking her legs, bringing her to the ground, and pinning her chest with her boot.
"You've got potential, girl. But no fight. You need more offence than defence."
Wanda almost scoffed. Did Yelena really think she was going to take her advice? That she wanted to learn how to fight? All she wanted to do was go back to her home, with her parents and family. Watch funny movies, play games with Peter. Go back to school, even.
It took Wanda a few minutes to catch her breath after getting the wind knocked out of her, but Yelena still kept her pinned.
"Let me go!" She roared, but Yelena merely laughed.
"I know you can get out. Use your powers."
"No! They make me a monster. Like you."
Another unknown flashback threatened to enter Yelena's mind, but she pushed it away. She couldn't afford to be vulnerable right now. Not when Wanda was so scared and angry. It was dangerous.
"They're who you are. Use them!"
"No, they are a part of who I am, not only who I am. They don't define me!"
Yelena laughed again. That definitely wasn't something she came up with. She was eight years old.
"What, did your mama tell you that?" She mocked.
Wanda didn't answer, because Yelena had guessed correctly. It didn't make it any less true though.
Wanda's hands reached out, and before she could think, they were placed on her forehead. It was her last resort. The only way she could get Yelena off of her without physically hurting her.
After a few moments, Wanda pulled her hand away from Yelena's head in guilt.
What was she thinking? She had promised she wouldn't do it again. Even in defence. It caused too much pain for her, but more importantly, it turned her into a monster. Hydra's monster.
But it worked. Yelena backed off, her eyes squeezed shut. Something had changed in the woman's head. Wanda didn't see anything when she had read her mind, but it definitely triggered something.
Yelena backed up against the wall, gripping the concrete with her hands for dear life.
August 1996. Maryina Horka Forest, Belarus. The Red Room
Natalia?
It was the faintest whisper. It had to be, all the other girls were asleep. One heard peep and they would rat her out for no good reason. Then Madame B would either beat her or make her dance until her feet bled.
A twelve-year-old girl with red hair and green eyes padded over, sitting on Yelena's bed.
Yelena, despite already being in the Red Room for a year, always had a nightmare every night. Like clockwork. Natalia was the only one who, despite the clenched jaw and determined look, had any sort of glint of care in her eyes for the eight-year-old girl.
She reached over, pulling a pin out of her hair to unlock her handcuffs from the metal bed frame.
'I still don't understand how you manage to unlock yourself every night.' Yelena whispered.
'I'm the best Assassin they've seen, correct?'
Yelena nodded.
'Well, then, I think that answers your question, solnyshka.'
Solnyshka. The name hit her like a truck. Given to her by the only one who cared about her. Natalia Romanova.
'Thank you, Natalia. Thank you for caring about me.'
'Of course, Lena. We are sisters. Maybe not by blood, but in spirit. Sisters care about each other. Sisters love each other.'
She gave a small smile, hugging the smaller girl and wiping her cheek free of tears caused by the nightmare.
She snapped out of the memory, and the sudden movement scared Wanda, who held her glowing hands in front of her, ready to defend herself.
But a glazed look in Yelena's eyes made her stop dead in her tracks, placing her hands behind her back.
Yelena dropped to her knees, a look of despair washing over her face. Wanda could tell her mind was racing, but she didn't want to check it again.
What was that?
Was that me?
Why am I here?
Why did I let myself hurt this child?
Why did I not know any of this until now?
What happened to me?
Wanda sat cross-legged in front of Yelena, red dancing around her half-hazardly.
Something had changed. Although Wanda always knew she was different, the determination and fight had left the woman's eyes. They turned sad and confused.
She whispered, barely audible, something that changed everything.
"Natalia. Your mother. The Black Widow. She was my sister."
----
Translations:
Девочка- Girl
тренировочная комната- training room
солнышка or solnyshka- sunshine